Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The phone

If there was an invention I could surely do without, it would be the phone. I hate it. Always. Hate. It.

That's why I never answer. It's not you. It's me.--- No that's not true either. It's not me. It's the phone.

I hate not knowing what's coming, is it a 2 hour conversation or a 2 minute message?
Is it someone I love or someone I do business with?
Is it good news or bad? It seems that the bad news has only ever come from Josh... (i.e. "my boss just told me that me working there isn't going to work out" or "Meleta just called and said Ron died." or "Tommy just puked his guts out on the only nice blanket we it waterproof?") maybe I should change my policy from "always answer when Josh calls" to "never answer when Josh calls".
Can they tell I just made that face when I said that thing? Would it be good if they could tell?
Why don't they respond when I nod at all the appropriate times or shrug?
Should I be sitting down or start the dishes now? And just how loud is too loud for a phone call? Clearly vacuuming is out of the question, but what about something slightly more reverent like....watching Friends re-runs?
You'd think someone who talks so much and has had 6 different "answer the phone" jobs wouldn't be such a phone-phobic but I am.

Unfortunately sometimes for work I have to call people.

And sometimes for church I have to call people (usually a lot of people in a very short time).

And so my day so far has looked like this:

So when I had the opportunity to take something to a neighbor, I jumped all over it, dropped by her house unannounced and wasted at least 20 minutes of her life talking at her in her doorway because it just felt so nice to respond to her face and for her to respond to mine. Plus it's always nice to talk to Linda (hi Linda!) because she's flat out nice.

So, if your doorbell rings, answer it anyway. It's probably just me avoiding the phone. Unless of course you hate the door. In that case, I understand.


  1. HAHA, you're so funny Amy. I don't get much a chance to talk on the phone but since I'm house bound at 7:30pm that's usually my only connection to people in the outside world (or blogging or facebook) make me smile. Feel free to drop by my house anytime!

  2. Well in that case...I feel very honored that I had a voicemail from you today! And yes, I will be there tomorrow! Thanks.

  3. Uuggg...I hate the phone too!

  4. I hate the phone AND the door...does that mean you hate me??

  5. I hate the phone too, but that's because I have a phobia of people and if I can't see their face when I talk to them I imagine they hate me, lol. And I would love for you to drop by my door :)

  6. Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only person with a phone phobia! I love to answer the phone, but making phone calls is incredibly nerve-wracking for me. I really can't make phone calls!

  7. Love the phone, probably because I don't get many calls. Hate the door, Daybreak is soliciting central. The doorbell rings for only bad things.

  8. I have serious phone phobia too. I'm with Marianne, I hate making the phone calls. So much. So very much.
    My brother-in-law made me a tiny self-help "get pumped up to make a phone call" video that I watch to help me make it through all the phone calls I have to make. I should share it with you, maybe it will help. Although you might just think that he is really crazy, his approach is sort of like a football coach yelling at the players...

    Also, I am really awkward at ending calls. I can never say goodbye one time, always "take care, mmmh bye" or something stupid like that. Nick counted once that I said goodbye three times to my mom in different ways before we actually hung up. Weird.


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