Thursday, May 31, 2012

Sugar Fast 2012

Sugar Fast (the sissy version) has been going on at our house for a few months now.

We modified our usual "there will be NO sweets!" mandate by allowing Sundays to be free days.

$50 on the table for the big winner of Sugar Fast 2012.

Every week on Friday I beg Josh to let it be over.  A truce. Please. pleaaase  Because our hot date will be so much hotter with M&Ms in our popcorn while we watch Jack Bauer save the world.

Every Monday morning I tell Josh that we should never eat anything sweet again. Ever.

But this week the Friday night begging started early. Tuesday morning to be precise. I blame the frozen cookie dough taunting me every time I went to get Johnny's food.

So I waited for him to come home, got right up in his face, and ate my frozen cookie dough ball claiming it was worth every penny.

If you want to know the truth it wasn't worth it. But I'll never admit that to Josh.

So now it's over!

And THAT is worth every penny.

As an added bonus, now I get to see what Josh would do with free $50.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

$21 Flip Flops

Kohl's gave me a buncha free money. So obviously I went looking for shoes.

I happened to be wearing this year's Old Navy $2 flops. I have worn them so many days in a row that the souls are paper-thin and the buttons that keep the strappy parts attached to the soul are pinching my feet when I walk.

This happens twice a year, and I go spend $2 more on flip flops because I simply love them.

But there I was, standing in the shoe department and Kohl's and the $20 flip flops were STARING AT ME. Straight in the eye.

I rolled my eyes to Josh making some snide comment about "what kind of person spends TWENTY DOLLARS on flip flops?"

He nodded and smiled while I tried on a pair.

And now I have no reason to go to Old Navy.

I have officially joined the ranks of grownups who don't wear $2 shoes.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Josh Ran A 5k

One time I begged Josh to train for and run a 5k.

He agreed.

We found a deal and registered and gave ourselves just 5 weeks to train.

I had just finished Color Me Rad, so I was confident I'd be fine. But Josh has asthma and has never run a day in his life. I figured he'd be OK because he's sortof awesome like that. 5 weeks? Pshaaw, we'd be fine.

Then I rolled my ankle at the triathalon. And it looked like this for two weeks.

One of these ankles is fatter than the other....

Then Josh injured his foot.

So we didn't train for like 2 weeks.

And then we only had a week until d-day.


Because of our serious lack of training and the fact that we both wished we were dead before mile 2 of our most recent training run we were both pretty confident that we'd be walking a couple of times during this race.

The weather wasn't supposed to be great, thunder clouds, rain, and overcast all day, but if you ask me that's the only weather worth running in, so I strapped on my new shoes (thank you Mother's Day) and we loaded the kids in the car anyway and headed North. (Did you know Ogden is still really far away?)

They're pink! Probably because I love Aundrea.

When we got there it was cold, but not wet, which we took to be a good sign, but as I started assembling the jogging stroller I started to get nervous. There was definitely something missing. Something important. 

The handlebar. 

When I take apart the jogging stroller to hang it from the ceiling of our garage, I stick the handlebar in the back. Saturday morning is when I learned that Josh doesn't. He puts it on top of the shelf right next to the hook. 

Obviously since I put the stroller in the car, we didn't have the handlebar. 

I made Josh push the stroller the whole way with no handle. Because I'm super-mean and he's super nice like that. 

We got to the beginning with plenty of time, so we drove the course. It was a lollipop course, and where the lollipop meets the stick there happened to be a big grassy area. Josh immediately figured out that we could just run to the park, sit down and wait for people to start coming back. We'd just join them on the way back and pretend we are superfast runners. Smart man.

Our goal was to run clear through the lollipop and back to the park. Then if we needed to we could walk for a bit before we ran again. 

At the park we high fived each other and kept jogging. 

I told him I was listening to a 30 minute mix (thank you RockMyRun) and I thought we could probably run for 30 minutes. So we were going to go to the end of my mix.

At the end of my mix we high fived each other and kept jogging. 

At that point we could see the finish line, so we decided we'd just power through and run the whole thing. 

Roughly 3 minutes after deciding we'd run the whole thing, the wind picked up and the rain started pounding down. Josh was still pushing the gimpy stroller and their screen was open. So I closed the window (which has been rolled up for roughly 18 months....) while we pressed on. I'd bat it down like a cat with a ball of yarn, and it would roll right back up like a cartoon window shade. I'd bat it down, it would roll up. 

Meanwhile John Boy started crying and Tommy really really wanted to share the almonds with him to make him happy. So there I was batting the window down like an idiot while my babies are crying and I'm shouting "No Tommy! He doesn't have any teeth!!! No teeth Tommy!" and running sideways. I hope that's where the photographer was hiding....

Right at the end the course went from a very open road to a very narrow sidewalk, since we were finishing in the 37 minute range, there were people around us walking and pushing strollers. We were coming up behind them on the sidewalk, but Josh took the opportunity to go "4 wheelin!" and we pounded around them so we wouldn't have to stop running so close to the finish. 

We finished in 37 something (no official times...) and both felt great at the end of the run. We were ridiculously proud of ourselves.

Our friends (3 other couples in the ward) also hit their goals and overall we did awesome on this run!

To top it all off we were big winners in the raffle. 

Seriously. I won toilet paper. I'm sortof awesome at winning race raffles ($50 at Masherz from my Tri this year!) and it was a small race, so I was confident I would win something. As soon as the kid held up the TP and everybody laughed I knew it was mine. All mine. And I was right. *sigh*

Josh won a pair of ladie's running socks, and I knew he would use my TP, so I figured I was justified in taking his winnings, but when a lady won the men's socks she immediately came over to trade him. Lousygoodfornothingmen'srunningsocks. So I really came home with nothin' but a 6-packa TP. 

Also a sortof firm commitment from Josh that if I find a supercheap race sometime in the near future he will possibly think about participating again because this was so dang much fun. 

I'm calling it a wildly successful race.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Soggy Zoo

When the Burches come to town we do fun things. No matter what.

Because the Burches don't come to town that often.

We planned a morning at the zoo for Friday, and although we woke up to rain we voted to power through and do the zoo anyway.

Which turned out to be awesome.

And cold.
Tommy rockin' a standard Utah Spring Uniform (shorts, flip flops, winter coat. that's how we roll.)

And wet.

But that certainly didn't stop us from taking pictures.
Cassidy's bum, Evie & Cameron

Evie in a turtle shell

Tommy loves this boring slide

monkeys watching monkeys


Tommy thinks snakes are more interesting than cameras

We forced the Burches to take ape pictures in the rain. Because I think there might be someone checking as you leave to make sure you did. Like the Costco receipt guy, without the sharpie.

But watch this.

May 2011

May 2012

My boy aged from infant to juvenile ape height in a year. That's why they make you take this picture - so you can see how freaking enormous your child is next year. 

I sometimes forget how tiny that boy was. You know, now that he's all huge and man-like (and still wants me to hold him).
Feb 2011

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Scene: 9am. Sick and sniffly 2 year old is still in pajamas with all sorts of bed head happening. He has climbed into his high chair and is sitting at the table with a fork in his hand.

Tommy: It's dinner time mommy?
Me: No. It's 9am.
Tommy: I want dinner.
Me: Are you hungry?
Tommy: Yes. Hungry. Yes dinner. Yes fooooood. (excitement is rising)
Me: What do you want to eat?
Tommy: Uhhhh....uhhh......maca'oni! Annnnnnd.....uhh......uhhhhh....A'CADO! Annnnd.....uhhh....uhhh....a......snanwhich. And, a grapes. And uhhh....maca'oni more!
Me: You just ate 2 bowls of cereal and a kiwi. And you want macaroni, avacado, a sandwich and grapes?
Tommy: Yes. (with a decisive nod)
Me: OK.

And that's why we're having dinner at 9am. Heaven help us when he's a teenager and he eats us out of house and home.

In other food news.

Johnny B. (like a bat) prefers to take his meals upside down.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Date of the Month: Hiking & KFC

It's no secret that Josh and I love to be outside, so when I was planning the year of dates, OBVIOUSLY hiking (with just us) would be one of them.

But you might not already know that Josh has a secret love affair with eating fried chicken in the mountains. Specifically up Big Cottonwood Canyon.

I'm not even kidding.

So on Friday we dropped off our boys, picked up some chicken and headed for the hills.

We thought we'd go to donut falls (one of our favorites) and to be honest I was sortof wishing that the rules (the ones I invented) of these dates didn't always exclude the boys. But the rules are the rules, so we left without them. And I'm glad we did. Family time is fun, I like hiking with the kids, I like spending time with all of us. But Josh and I dating is different. And this is often the only time during the month we are without them. So it's an important rule to follow. Even if it sounds like a fun thing to do with the kids too.

The gate leading in to donut falls was closed, and we could have walked around it, but we were feeling (a little) pressed for time and (a lot) lazy and wanted to get straight to the hiking.

So we found a new (to us) trail across the street and hiked it instead.

It was beautiful. I remind Josh on a regular basis that this canyon is where we fell in love. We used to take long drives in the canyon, and since he drove a stick and not holding hands wasn't an option, I'd shift for him while he drove. I hope that when we're old and wrinkly we drive up that canyon and he lets me shift for him.  He did this time.

The view was beautiful. And since it had been raining all morning, the air was cool (freezing!) and clean and soggy. There aren't many things I love more than soggy air.

It was seriously cold. Let the record show that our May date probably could have included snow had we driven 10 more minutes up the canyon.

Then I discovered that my camera has a panoramic function - and it was even MORE beautiful.

But then we had this great idea where Josh would run around while the camera was doing it's panoramic magic.  We may or may not have 13 pictures just like this, with various body parts missing.

When we got to the top (aka the place where we decided to turn around) one of us noticed that one of us seriously needed a bathroom FAST because one of us has given birth and one of us now has a basically useless bladder. So both of us jogged down the hill praying for a close restroom the whole way. 

As it turned out Josh's siblings were probably glad that we jogged because John was apparently a weepy whiny mess the entire time we were gone. Poor siblings. I'm glad they survived.

When we got back we looked at the sign, and now I'm hoping we make time this summer to go up to Desolation Lake - 3.5 miles is all. 
(Do you think we could carry the kids the distance they don't want to walk of that?)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Man Funny

The men in this house have a way of making each other laugh that I simply can't comprehend. 

Maybe they're telling each other fart jokes....

Saturday, May 19, 2012


After partying all night long with some friends, our boys were (rightfully) exhausted. Johnny had a bottle and immediately fell asleep afterward. 

Tommy snuggled up on the couch with me, turned on a batman (which he is convinced is "sip-der-man!") and promptly fell asleep. I had no choice but to join him in the napping.

Will you get a load of these eyelashes? 

My goodness I love this boy.

My Mother-In-Law Hates Me

I know it.

She used to like me, I could tell because she is always nice to me and never makes my child MORE obnoxious than his nature makes him.

But something changed and now she hates us.

I can tell because she bought Tommy golf clubs. Or ninja throwing stars or one of those old lady reach higher or lower sticks they sell in Sky Mall Magazine (but not today) as Tommy seems to have decided they really are.

He has yet to hit the tiny golf balls with them. Much less into the tiny make-shift "cup" because he's far too busy whacking stuff with is "Lightning McQueen STICK!!!!"

Poor boy got tired of hearing me tell him to "knock it off or I'll take it away." so he set up his little brother to take the fall.

Too bad within 12 seconds of my taking this picture Tommy got too close and got beat up by a baby.

I almost felt bad....but......he sorta earned it. You know?

What's proper etiquette here? A thank you note expressing just how much Tommy loves it? Or a snarky blog post whining about just how much I hate it?

*Surely you've noticed that I'm kidding, right? I mean he really does go around hitting stuff with it all day, but I don't think my MIL hates me (right Meleta?) and I certainly don't really hate her for giving it to us. In fact when Tommy saw me writing this, he said "only hit the balls. right mom?"

Friday, May 18, 2012

Mother's Day in all its Glory

This year mother's day was simply beautiful. 

Filled with BBQ, picnics, babies & grandmas.

Josh teases Johnny with a strawberry. Then lets him eat it. Against Dr.'s orders. [shrugs, whatever. it's cool.]

My mom and John Boy having a "bull fight".

Josh's Grandma B. John was distracted by Grandma Reilley. 

Not to mention good gifts. 

Tommy made this in nursery.

With this adorable poem. I may or may not have teared up.

My new running shoes! I'm in love.
 I'm glad to be a mom.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

boys love bugs

When we found out Tommy was going to be a boy I was a little nervous. Because I know that I don't know anything about boys.

Plus I knew he'd pee on me. And who knows where else.

But I was also secretly relieved because as little as I know about boys I know even less about girls. Barbies? Kill me now.

The truth is that every kid is hard boys and girls. Right?

But I don't think a girl would have brought me a creepy beetle today while we were supposed to be coloring with sidewalk chalk.

And I don't think I would have screamed in her face and smacked her hand to rid it of the creepy beetle so close to my nose.

And that means she wouldn't have been traumatized for life thinking that both she and beetles are terrifying.

And maybe (but not likely) that would mean that Josh wouldn't consider it his most important mission in life to help our child play with bugs.

Of course, if I had girls instead of boys, they probably wouldn't allow their father to dress them because when dad is in charge babies look like this.

So I suppose it's all good that we have boys and all of those bug things did happen.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day Honesty

I could write a post of 1,000 reasons I love being a mom. I could tell a million stories which melted my heart. I could brag about my extraordinary children and the exquisite joy I feel when I'm with them. And every word of it would be true.

I could also tell horror stories that make your toes curl. I could tell you how what I want more than anything else is a nap. Or a good night's sleep. Or a long shower. I could write about how there are moments (and days) when it sounds like a really great idea to bang my head against a wall. Because that would be less painful and more productive. And every word  of it would be true.

And that's the beauty of motherhood.

So instead I'm giving you 2 lists. Because I like lists and I like it when things are even.

Things I hate about being a mom:

  1. Monotony. "Are you having a good Mother's Day?" a thousand people asked. "Sure" I answered with a shrug of the shoulders. "The kids woke up, wanted food and still needed to get dressed and ready, just like every other day."
  2. Juicy. I used to hate lip kisses, but those boys who live here have swayed me and today I kissed a pair of cookie-chocolate-drooly lips. On purpose. I gross me out.
  3. Army Guys. I hate them. They don't do anything, and according to Josh playing with them does not involve and kind of conversation or planning for future lunch dates. What kind of pointless toy is that? 
Things I love about being a mom:
  1. Forgiving clients. Yesterday I totally lost it at Tommy. Totally. Lost. It. This morning he crawled into bed with me, gently pushed my nose (the power button on all humans in his world) and whispered (juicily) in my ear "a'morneeen mom. 'ake up!" Then (with a little prompting from Josh) told me Happy Mother's Day. The interaction was so sweet, even I almost forgot that I yelled at him.
  2. Relentless Cheerleaders. Since we cheer when "John-B"* rolls over, we also cheer when mommy does it. Since we cheer when Tommy puts a toy away, or draws unrecognizable picture, or even thinks about peeing in the potty, we also cheer when mommy does any (or all!) of those things. Forget about a Triathalon.
  3. Stories. I love them. I love that my boys love them. I love it when Tommy loves a book enough to have memorized it. I love it when he has never read a book but wants to show me EVERY thing on EVERY page anyway. I especially love it when both boys snuggle in with a huge stack of books to read on one side and a growing stack of books we've read on the other side. 
So yeah, that's the point. Being a mom is amazing. Having a mom is amazing. Knowing a mom is amazing. So here-here to mother's day. (says while raising a glass of ice water and chomping on a carrot because I suspect that will cancel out the chocolates, jelly beans and raspberry sticks I've been consuming...)

*Josh and I have started calling John "John Boy" (why? Nobody just came out. and stuck. Babies are sticky.) but it sounds really hard for Tommy to say, so it comes out "John-B" which I find equally adorable. 

One Time I Did A Triathalon

I'm quick to say "But just a sissy one" but if I'm being 100% completely honest, that wasn't sissy. And I'm 100% convinced that I'm hardcore.

Unless you did the longer one, in which case I fully recognize that mine was just for sissies. But secretly I'm proud of me anyway.

I participated in the Novice tri. It means that I swam 150 yards (meters?), biked 2.5 miles, then ran 1.5 miles.

Some of the people I was with did the Sprint distance. They swam 350 yards, biked 12 miles, then ran 3.2 miles.

Other people I was with did a relay Sprint. So one person swam, one person biked, and a different person ran.

The most stressful part of this triathalon for me was the transitions. Because while I'm OK with jumping in the pool and swimming until they say stop, I am NOT OK with jumping out of the pool and running in a swimsuit all drippy and gross to the transition area. I was fairly confident I would screw it all up (which I did) and worried an inordinate amount about how I would set up my transition area and what I was forgetting.

All my transition stuff. I finally decided on this stuff and it was good.
 As I've mentioned before, my signing up for this thing was pure peer pressure. I've been swimming with some people in my ward, and when Tracy started coming with us she pretty much immediately signed up for the tri. Then continued to remind me how cool it was. So I did too.
But this picture adequately illustrates the difference between Tracy & Me. She is cool and hardcore and tough and "gonna kill it!" and I am "....ner......" And not tough. And only sometimes cool. And rather than murder it, I simply survived.  

The race info sheet said that transition setup and body marking would be from 6 - 7:30. Body. Marking. The pictures in my head looked something like these.


But when I got there it was just a dude & a lady each wielding sharpies standing in the corner of the gym. I think they probably had special training not to make fun of my farmer's tan. 

They did all the hard-core tri people first. And because it was an indoor swim they staggered start time 8-10 seconds per person. 370 People starting in 8-10 second increments = 40 minutes of sitting around waiting for their people to finish starting before we started starting. Tracy & I sat in the bleachers and watched the sprint starters, there were some who were serious swimmers who knew exactly what they were doing and how long it would take them, and some who doggy paddled the whole way. It was a bit stressful to watch.

After the swim in the transition area I went to backtrack a bit and slipped turning my ankle. It wasn't SUPER bad, but it did hurt and by the time I finished the bike I was tired and hurting so I walked a good deal of the run.

Fortunately this photographer caught me while I was at least pretending to jog (and adjusting my earphones). I know I look like a dork, but I like this picture because I do not look like I'm dying (which I was).

The run was long and lonely, and my music wasn't loud enough. I rediscovered that only the embarrassment of asking someone else to stop, is motivating enough to keep me running the whole way.

One cool thing about triathalons is that they give you a medal just for existing at the end. You don't even have to be fast or awesome or ANYthing. They just give it to you because you aren't dead. Isn't that nice of them? Also does this medal make you think of the 80s? I didn't really live in the 80's (born in '85) so I can't really say that, but it's just so.... I don't know..... anybody else?

The Survivor Medal
Of course after the medal, I made Josh take roughly 9,000 pictures of me because there's no telling if I will ever do something this cool ever again.

I made Josh take an unreasonable number of pictures. And almost all of them look at least this dumb. 
But then Josh told me to take off my hat. So I made fun of him, and  his shutter finger was quicker than my "put it back on!" reflex. There is a good reason they tell you to wear a hat for triathalons. Swim cap + bike helmet + run DOES NOT = cute.

Hatless Amy Post Race

Josh made it there early enough to see me come in on the bike and head out for the run. I don't think there are words that can adequately express to me how encouraging it was to see my boys (all 3 of them) cheering me on and being proud of me. I'm a lucky girl.

Tommy and Mommy. He didn't want me to hold him because I was still wet (and cold), but he  did want to be held because I'm mom. It was a hard time. Poor boy.
On one hand I'm really ridiculously unreasonably proud of myself. 

On the other hand it was a bit of a letdown. The staggered start times mean that nobody finishes or starts together, and for most of the race I was on my own. That is a lonely way to go and for me the beauty of a race is the energy of EVERYBODY else playing. 


They gave me a medal!


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