freedom: a fine line

Once Tommy was interested in touching everything he could and 99% of the things he couldn't see, I started to decide what was really not OK for him to be into and what really was OK.

Under the kitchen sink? Chemicals? Garbage? Not OK.

The poison-dirt from all the houseplants? In your dreams.

Pretty much everything else? OK.

Pots and pans and shiny utensils? Fine by me.

Dish clothes & hand towels? Go nuts.

Measuring cups & spoons? Ladels? Spatulas? Whatever does it for you dude.

Christmas tree? At $2/24 ornaments I'm OK if he eats them.

Phone chargers, DVDs, monitors, remotes, books, laundry and furniture? Sure, whatever.

But then Josh comes home.

I'm significantly less uptight than expected to be (is anyone else surprised by that? No? Just me? OK.) but now I'm wondering if I've gone too far. My child apparently thinks that anything he reach is a toy. And that's because at my house IT'S TRUE.

On the rare occasion that Josh is home and Tommy is still awake and playing, Josh keeps him out of everything. "No no no no Tommy. That's not a toy." He gently reminds him while he pulls him away. "Don't touch." He says trying to distract him with a genuine kid thing.

I tap Josh on the shoulder and in a very mousy voice say "Uhhh.....actually he thinks the measuring spoons are the best toy there is, and I've never ever taken the stack of DVDs away from him...."

I just figure if he can't hurt it or him with it, I'm not going to bother. Lazy parenting? Probably. But I like to think it's teaching him that he's allowed to explore his environment - as long as it's reasonably safe.

Josh, however, thinks that it's important to teach him the concept of "don't touch" and the sooner the better.

How much freedom do your kids have in your house? And what if you go somewhere else? Is it impossible to teach them not to touch everything in someone else's home if you don't teach them how not to touch in your own home?