90

Last night we went to Grandma Huggie's 90th birthday party.

NINETY.

Grandma Huggie (Huggy? I still have no idea how we spell that...) is my mom's dear friend who everybody naturally loves. She is an extraordinary woman full of generosity and kindness and so much joy. I just love her and it was great to be invited to celebrate with her.

She was born in 1924 and so the party was (beautifully) 20's themed. There was some really awesome parked on the front lawn at the church, and balloons, and photos and family history and what Grandma called "food from the 20's bread & jam". (But not just any bread - it was delicious.) And the table decorations had boas and man-hats and fun party things. There was a small band playing music that had even me wanting to dance. It was a lovely event.

And then I sat down at the table to chat with my family (and stuff my face will delicious food) and I realized....if I threw a similar party when I turned 90, it would be an 80's party.

Suddenly the magic was over.

How old ARE those guys anyway?

On our first Sunday in our new ward I forgot how old my kid was. I insisted that he was already 3, and when they tried to tell me that meant he was a sunbeam I was totally baffled, because he's NOT. And correlation makes sure that Sunbeams begins for all the babies in all the lands at the same(ish) age and I couldn't figure out why our last ward was so confused and held him back in nursey. At the same time I couldn't figure out why our new ward advanced kids to nursery before they were old enough. At the same time I was excited for Little John to be a real live sunBEAM!

I suppose that says something about my insistence that I am NEVER wrong, or my parenting, or my lack of involvement, ability to keep time, or retain important information, or my extreme nerves in meeting the people who will be caring for my child, or my general brainlessness, or something.

When Josh corrected me and saved me from having to back to the nursery to admit my foolishness and beg forgiveness for not knowing my own child's age I was thankful. But then I picked up Little John and had to hang my head in shame anyway. Ya win some, ya lose some.

Anyhow, all of that is water under bridge now because Little John (or "I NOT A BABY!" as he prefers to be called) is 3 now. For real.

Hard to believe isn't it? 3 years.

And even harder to believe that he is the younger brother and there is a giant roaming around here claiming to be the same Thomas who named John "Diddo Yawn" 3-and-a-half years ago. This memory of this boy as a baby blows my mind, because he makes such a great big kid. The pants that fit him last week are now shorts and he cannot find a pair of shoes comfortable enough to wear more than once, but when we get it right, that smile just kills me.

Oh Little John

When I learned I was pregnant with Tommy I immediately screamed and insisted that Josh get out of bed to properly celebrate with me at 5am. It took everything I had not to announce it to the world (via blog of course) that I was pregnant at 5:02. I not so patiently waited until 7:30 when Josh was driving me to work so we could call our moms. Then I posted it on the blog at 7:34 from my office and thoroughly enjoyed a day (or 3) of congratulations POURING in.

Tommy was an answer to everybody's prayers. Not just mine.

But Little John? Little John was just mine. All mine. I took a pregnancy test by myself in the middle of the day while Tommy was napping. And then I hid the positive pregnancy test and didn't tell Josh for a few days. I wanted to enjoy him (though I didn't know he was him) all by myself. I didn't want to share. He was MY baby and I wasn't ready to announce it yet.

After a while I told Josh.

Then everybody else.

Then I proceeded to grow a beautiful beautiful baby.

Who Tommy named Little John. Oh my gosh, remember that? When Tommy was too little to say Little John and he called him 'iddow yawn? My heart just re-melted.

Lately Little John has become kindof a pain the butt. He still only has a few teeth, and all of the ones under the gums are making him a little devilish. But last week a few more of those teeth popped right through and (in the words of my friend Aundrea) scared the devil right out of him.

Those teeth coming through are just a thing of beauty. John has gotten back to being a loving and snuggly and sweet sweet boy. Apparently teeth make him happy. And teethING makes him....not.

At his Dr. appointment a couple weeks ago we learned that he is staying right on his middle-of-the-road growth curve. He hates Dr.'s, nurses, scales, measurement tools and especially needles. And he only loves suckers. One in each hand and one in my hair. thankyouverymuch And he can get pretty much anything he wants from his mother when he's in pain.

One thing I love about Little John is that he gets deliriously happy. He laughs and giggles and his eyes literally twinkle. just like the movies He is magic. And oh so wonderful! I love this boy.

What A Blessing

It's my birthday on Friday. Josh started asking me what I'd like for my birthday last Friday.

I thought about it for 2 days, on Sunday I made my official request.

I want ease.

I told Josh I wanted no hard conversations, no worries about anything intense, no major life decisions, no finances, and as little responsibility as possible.

So he spent Saturday making sure all bills were paid and the schedule for this week was worked out for my Easy Week. He planned a birthday date and gave me permission (maybe not verbal...but I'm taking it) to take the easy road all week long.

Mac 'n cheese for dinner. Jammies 'till noon. Toothpaste smears on the mirror because I let the kids stand on the counter while we brush. No paying bills or checking the bank account. No waking up early to do things I hate. No going out of my way to be responsible when less-responsible will cut it.

But here's the thing about being a grownup. Despite our best efforts, I still did laundry and dishes all morning. I made and cleaned up dinner (simple - but I still made it). I lectured the boys about flushing qtips down the toilet and unrolling the toilet paper clear from the bathroom to the kitchen. I broke up fights and kissed skinned knees. I wiped crusty cereal off the floor and black beans from behind John's ear. I changed diapers and emptied the tiny potty. I adjusted the thermostat and locked the doors at night. I get dressed and go to work and (ideally) use my brain.

I'm still a grownup. And every day of my life - even the easy ones require more effort than I ever could have dreamed possible.

If my daddy were listening to me say this he'd listen carefully and thoughtfully to my rant, and when I was done he'd add "what a blessing."

And he'd be right.

Because he always is.

It's a Birthday Par-tee!

Because (a) my boys were kind enough to arrive in the same month and (b) they're both too young to remember their birthdays and (c) their mother is sortof lazy and not a party planner and stressed out beyond all reason this year, we combined the birthdays for one big party of awesomeness and joy!

I couldn't think of any good themes* so about a month ago I asked Tommy what he wanted to have at his birthday party hoping for some inspiration.

"A cake!" He whispered in his most excited whisper voice.
".....and a party!!!!!"

So the theme was "it is my kids' birthday. have some cake." Go ahead, pin away.
The cake came from Costco.

This party marked some important firsts though.

1. John's "first" bite of cake. Ha ha ha ha! That is SO far from true it makes me blush just thinking about writing it. On Tommy's birthday it was his real first bite of cake. We put a cupcake in front of him and watched him smell it for like 5 straight minutes before he licked it and finally took a bite. John had devoured half of the cake before we had even set it down. He knew it was a mile away and wasn't gonna take any chances we wouldn't let him finish it. But he cried when he got to the ice cream because it froze his gizzard. Poor gizzard. Poor boy. 

2. Tommy quit being a Baby and has become my Son. You can tell because we spent the afternoon playing guys with the new superheros (or villains? I don't really know...) he told me over and over again that "I KEEEEL you Batman. I'm a super-guy with a willy willy dangerous! Now you dead. Pew pew pew!" and then my daddy taught him that a "willy willy dangerous" is technically called a super-duper-laser-blammer and the whole game changed. "I'm gonna super-duper-willy-willy-dangerous-blammer-weapon-laser-super-duper you mom!" he says in his most evil voice which naturally requires a furrowed brow. I don't know if there are words for how much I love this man-child of mine. Or how glad I am that he like laser-blammers more than kitchen toys and dress-ups.
In other news, the reign of the Boy Relatives Who Give Annoying Talking Hero-Guys As Gifts (BRWGATHAG pronounced burg-a-thag) has begun. It's been nearly a week and we have all started saying "The Bat Signal! We're out of time." and "crime never sleeps" in our sleep. Thank you Hunter Boys.

Tommy also wanted balloons. So I blew some up. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. He (and others) went a little nutso.

 We sang Happy Birthday to Tommy, and he even blew out all his candles (with great effort!)

Tommy's big present from us was this trike we got for $8 at D.I. He LOVES it and every time anybody mentions going outside he runs for the garage and demands we "ridea MY new bike!" The back container thing dumps and he fills it with apples from the backyard, and sidewalk chalk, and sippie cups, and small children and......

John's "big" present from us was one of these things. He likes turning it upsidedown and dumping it. He doesn't like anything else about it though. Tommy however likes to snatch it from Little John and play with it...so I guess in terms of creating fights over toys it was wildly successful.

Stella came clear from Salt Lake for the party and I may or may not have cried when I watched these two hug goodbye. You can't tell here, but they really do love each other. Plus I could sit and talk with Ash until the end of time and still not be caught up with her. So they are lucky they get along so well.

As usual we are overwhelmed by how loved our kids are. We think they're adorable and lovely and wonderful, but we certainly don't expect everyone to love them that much. But it sure seems like they do. These boys have 3 lovely sets of grandparents, roughly a million cousins aunts & uncles, and dear friends who may as well be family who are always supportive, kind, loving and extraordinarily generous.

We are certainly happy to celebrate the two little cuties.

[insert heart melting adorable picture of the two brothers hugging with giant smiles on their faces in front of some festive party decorations here]

Or maybe this will do.

*I sortof thought a "we survived" theme would be awesome because it is probably a miracle that any of us survived the first year of John's life and in fact we all survived. But a real theme sounded like a lot of work....and us survivors? We're tired.

On My 27th Birthday

On my 27th Birthday....

• I got roughly 9,000 birthday wishes from facebook people (hi facebook people! i love you too!)\
• I got an e-mail from MapMyRun reminding me that it had been more than 5 days since my last run. (joke's on you - it's actually been 9 days since my last run. ha!)
• I got a special blog post dedicated to me by an old roommate.
• I was wished a "Happy Russian Cosmonaut Day" by my little brother who wanted to know if I knew I was born on such an important day. And then I googled Russian Cosmonaut Day. The beginning of the Space Race with the first man in space and the only holiday they don't have an e-card for.
• I ate frosted mini wheats and kiwi for breakfast.
• A friend made me a special fancy-pants sugar-free strawberry goodness cake. Because she loves me. Who knew? 
• My daddy sent me an e-mail filled with things he loves about me which I read at least 4 times and cried every time. A snippet: "She can burrrp remarkably." I don't think any girl has ever had a better daddy. 
• Josh spoiled me with diamonds. For real. Earrings and necklace which are simply BEAUTIFUL. Wearing a diamond necklace with flip flops and t-shirts is totally cool, right?
• I taught Tommy to say "happy birthday mommy! you're SOOO beauuuuutiful!"
• I changed 3 pee-soaked outfits - none of which were mine. (Yay me!)
• I entered Walmart in sunglasses, a t-shirt and flipflops. I apparently stayed in there long enough to have missed ALL of Spring and Summer because it was rain/snow/hail/sleeting when I came out. So Tommy, John and I played in the rain for a bit. We're soaked and significantly less attractive than we were this morning....ooops.
  
• I ate crescent chicken pillows and Morrocan sweet potatoes for dinner.
• I tried desperately to live my dream day, doing nothing but motherly duties. Cooking, cleaning, playing, and running errands. Going for a jog by myself, but not sacrificing sleep to do it. It was lovely until I missed 14 phone calls for work and still have all of that to do tonight....

I guess the short version of it is this: I have a good life. And I'm glad I got another year of it.

Now I'm off to finish my birthday dream day. Dishes with Josh, a long hot bubble bath, and crawling into a bed with fresh clean sheets long before midnight.

Dear Josh,

Dear Josh,

Today is your birthday and you're older than you've ever been and now you're getting older.

1984 was a long time ago, did you know?

Cue the list

In 1984

• Movie tickets only cost $2.50.
• The first - FIRST - Apple computer was for sale.
• Tina Turner, Wham & Jeopardy were cool.
• Scott Hamilton was skating - not narrating.
• The first CD Players were for sale.
• First infomercial. The world thanks you for bringing infomercials with you to this earth.
• Stonewash jeans.
• You were born.

There now do you feel sufficiently old? Good because you are.

But I still love you. Even after all these years. 

Good job being born - now let's go celebrate eh?

Love,

me

Amazing

When Tommy was born he was whisked away to oxygen and Dr.'s and monitors.

My first glimpse of him was this picture on the tiny camera screen.

When Little John was finally born (anybody else think a halfborn baby should NOT be the Dr.'s cue to say "stop pushing"? Me too. I didn't. (stop pushing I mean)) they put him on me right away and rubbed him down cleaning him while I looked straight into his perfect little face.

There simply aren't adequate words for this incredible feeling.

BALLS!!!!!

Since we were having Tommy's birthday party on Saturday, I thought I'd just pretend the whole day was his birthday and let him do whatever he wanted.

First thing in the morning he found some party-supplies and was properly thrilled.

After picking them up and dumping them out roughly 25 times he decided it was time to watchee-show. Fine by me since I had plenty of birthday business to attend to.

Josh had racquetball class and then had to work, so I wasn't really counting on him to be much help. I was just hoping he'd show up before 3 (when the party started). Since I knew he'd be unavailable I begged my mom to come early and help me set up and she brought an entire setup crew with her, so everything was perfect!

We had loads of ball-shaped treats. (Have you ever wandered through a grocery store looking for a shape instead of a type of food? It's eye-opening.)

And I set up games with balls all over the gym of our church. 

We had a ball pit (balls in a kiddie pool)

We had bowling (2 liter bottles & a basketball with a lane marked with painters tape)

We had 4-square (painters tape on the floor)

We had paddle-ball & clic-ball-catch (thank you dollar store)

We had "Throw the football through the PVC pipe frame" (a games I just made up - can you tell?)

We had ping pong blow (blow the ping pong ball from one corner to the other without sliding off the table)

Plus we had punch-ball baloons floating around for the sheer pleasure of it (and maybe a little for some slow-man's volleyball)

When it was time for cake & ice cream I wasn't sure what to expect from Tommy - he's never really blown out a candle before and I wasn't sure he'd get it. But since he had a meltdown the night before in Walmart, Daddy taught him how to take a DEEEEP breath and blow it out. So he did. Just needed a little help aiming it in the right direction.

Why is it that the pictures with priceless faces on my boys are always really crappy quality? Oh yeah, because we were in a gym and I have no idea how to do anything cool with a camera.

Although Tommy wasn't hungry for lunch an hour earlier, he was miraculously starved when it came to cake & ice cream (smarty) and apparently he inherited the gene from Josh's family that says frosting is delicious.

When it was time for presents I was pretty sure we wouldn't get him out of the ball pit, so we just dragged the ball pit over to the crowd and let him open presents in there.

If I thought my boy was rotten - it would be because he's spoiled that way.

I'm glad Josh caught this face on camera, because it's one of my favorites that Tommy's been making lately. It's his "excited and surprised!!!!" face.

This pillow and blanket is from Grandma Reilley and Tommy & Lucy had a great time playing "nigh-night!" and taking fake naps for the next 10 minutes. 

It was a blast and we were so glad that people came and played the games and were good sports.

By the time we got home and unloaded I was pretty sure I was going to die. And maybe have a baby too. Which would have been awesome since I'd only have to do 1 birthday party/year if both my boys shared a birthday.

Eh well, you win some you lose some. (win some = awesome b-day party for the 2 year old; lose some = still pregnant. and huge.)

Par-ty! Par-ty!

When I can't think of anything good to do I usually do nothing. Which isn't good. But at least I didn't waste energy on something not good. Right? That's my theory.

That was the case with Tommy's birthday this year. I couldn't think of anything good to do. I tried though.

I thought maybe we'd do a dinosaur party, until  I remembered that having a dinosaur party means a whole lot of decoration and not much of anything else. This does not match my skill-set.

Then I had a revelation when Tommy wouldn't stop begging for "happies!!!!" We'd have a smiley face/happy party. I could make cake pops and make them look like happies and Tommy would be overjoyed! But then I remembered that I hate what smiley faces look like and everything else about the party would be lame.

Then we went camping and I thought "a rock throwing party!!! That would be AWESOME!" and Josh even brought up the good idea of using a blue tablecloth as a river and kids could throw rocks in it. I could do a dirt cake and we could have rock candy. I could put something on the invitation about having a "rockin' good time" or something equally awesome. But then I couldn't think of any good games for kids of all ages. And since it's a family party, we have kids from 2-18 years old. We needed games.

So I gave up and started daydreaming of presents I'd buy for him instead. That was more fun.

Until I went to playgroup, and the other moms reminded me that we could have the theme of the birthday party be "it's your birthday" and we could have cake and ice cream and maybe a balloon or two and call it good. Then I got on the party-planning wagon again convinced that even if there wasn't a theme or decorations or games it would still be a party because hey - free birthday!

Until I talked to my sister who is a party-planner extraordinaire. When she suggested a ball party I started making lists.

Lists of ball shaped food.
Lists of games that include balls.
Lists of pictures where Tommy is holding a ball.
Lists of places to buy more balls for more games that include balls.
Lists of people who will think it's adorable when Tommy says "ball! ball! ball!" and runs around like a crazy-person.

When I realized that I had a list of lists, I knew this was the party for me.
When I took Tommy down the ball aisle at the dollar store I knew this was the party for him.
When Josh suggested using the gym for the big ball extravaganza of birthday-hood and joyfulness, I knew we'd all be happy since I wouldn't have to clean my house.

And that is why this weekend will (hopefully) be his happiest so far.

Wish us luck!

Happy Birthday Wendy!

My sister-in-law Wendy does not take parties lightly.

Remember when we had a valentine's day tea party?

So for her birthday she threw a fancy party. Fancy meaning "wear your prom dress and bling" and meaning that she baked beautifully delicious goodies and decorated all day long in preparation.

This jewelry was laid out for people who felt "inadequately blung".

This food was laid out for people who felt inadequately sweet.

And this chandelier was hung for people who didn't notice that it was a fancy party.

Everything was simply beautiful. And purple. And delicious. So so delicious. Which makes it good. 

Also we got to get all fancied up and I only took one series of "self timer" shots because we were busy having so much fun!

T: Katy, Sarah, Wendy B: Ryann, Amy

Now I wish I took pictures of each person in their dresses because it was something to behold. But I'm more glad that we had fun and ate deliciousness.

Happy Birthday Wendy!!!

Fully Formed (or The One Where I Turn 26)

A few weeks ago my older sister and I had a loooong talk about life. I may or may not have been having a major breakdown (to the tune of 5 hours of "what am I supposed to do with my life") and at the very end of our talk, I realized that my biggest problem was simply that I had no idea what I wanted.

I look at two completely opposite people living their lives in opposite ways and I think "they have got it all together, THAT is what I want to live like." But then I realize that my life simply cannot look like both of theirs. The bottom line is that I don't know what kind of person and mom I want to be. After unloading all of this to her, she asked me how old I was.
"25."
She nodded thoughtfully (she's going to school to be a therapist, so she did that nod) and said "good. So....by the end of the year maybe your brain will be fully formed and you'll know more about what you want."

That's right friends, it isn't my fault I'm a complete disaster, it's because this brain of mine simply isn't finished forming.  So, today I am celebrating my brain.

Monday was such a fantastic day that I could hardly wait for today to come. I felt so great that I was certain it would last at least 24 hours because usually you don't go from feeling great to wishing you were dead in just a few hours.

Josh's mom was taking my child to give me a day off, I had lunch plans with a friend and had all kinds of ideas of things I wanted to do all day long. (Including (a) drive somewhere without a carseat, (b) get out craft supplies and paper and leave them out because when I'm done because they won't be eaten, and (c) park far away from where I'm going, because not lugging around the babe makes that reasonable.)

But just after midnight, my brain must have decided to revolt its fully formed self. Because that's when the worst sick-day of this pregnancy kicked in. I was up at least every 45 minutes and although my stomach was totally empty by 1am, I convulsed and heaved every time I woke up.

Since Josh took Tommy to his mom's house, I tried to sleep in, but my up-every-45-minutes schedule stuck with me clear until 10am. That's when I finally moved out to the couch which made absolutely no difference at all.

There could not have a been a better day for me to be childless because I truly don't know what I would've done with Tommy all day here. He would have been neglected thats for sure.

So although I have a lot to celebrate today, I'm watching Ellen and Disney movies in my bathrobe, feasting on a Saltine cracker and nearly 2 ounces of 7-up.

Odd, but it still seems like a very happy birthday what with all the facebook birthday wishes, the ridiculously generous gifts and the incredible friends and family I'm so lucky to have.

Sometimes people ask if I'm really as sick as I claim to be - and here's the honest to goodness truth. Sometimes I am. I have good days and bad days (yesterday I only puked one time! = good day!) but when I claim to have spent my entire day in the bathroom, I'm not lying. And when I claim to have been full of energy and productive, I'm not lying. So yes....and no.

The One Where Mom Turns 60

The girls worked and slaved over the decorations.

Sarah sets the table.

Wendy brings in more of the good stuff she made.

Katy cooks all the tasty things.

 Meanwhile......the boys sat around.

Josh & Nate lounging.

We had a lovely lunch

And we made people guess how many of those things were in these jars.

Those candies in these jars.

Everything was simply lovely and we all had a great time. Here's my mom's new hat. She said she didn't plan to wear it to church today - a cryin' shame.

I think my favorite part though was earlier this month when we all (her kids) made a memory book on snapfish. That book is amazing, and mom really loved it. 

Josh's b-day

Remember how the older you get the smaller your birthday gets? That's today.

It's Sunday, and fast Sunday, so there weren't even pancakes with a candle for him.

I did tell him Happy Birthday when I woke him up this morning, then promptly ran out the door.

Yesterday I tried to take him to see Harry Potter (even in the real live theater!) for his birthday, but it was sold out. Did you know that everyone in the whole wide world goes to the movies on New Year's Day? True story.


So this birthday was kindof a bust.

Sorry babe. Hopefully next year will be better.

B-day partay

I spent Friday night making a cake. Because I wanted to prove that I can. 

And I can. And now I'm done with that. And I might not ever do it again. It's not smooth, but I have to say I was dang freakin' proud of it.

Then Bubbah Josh and I went over to the clubhouse and got ready for the partay to begin.

See? Here we are, glad to be 1 year old.

And by "got ready" I mean tied some balloons (face and all) to the tables and set out the food.

While we all sat around and ate, the grandmas took turns entertaining the little one. 

My mom playing "This is the way the boring kids ride, slow and easy, slow and easy...." and Tommy thinking she's the funniest thing since Josh.

After eating and sitting around and directing each family to the clubhouse one by one (shouldda just included a map....) we started with the presents. This is sortof my worst nightmare. I hate opening presents in front of people, so the fact that I did it just shows how much I love this child. And Josh's mom.

You might think this is a photo of Tommy enjoying his new book, but it isn't. It's a photo of how filthy the carpet in the clubhouse is - see the bottom of my feet? That's ONLY because I wandered around the clubhouse barefoot for 2 hours. Seriously.

Bubbah was spoiled absolutely rotten. And all of the people Josh and I  have ever annoyed in any way shape or form got the noisiest presents they could find. Bubbah positively loves them.

And while he was reaching the present fell and he face planted a little bit. It was fairly traumatic. But we're all OK.

Add caption

Once he recovered from the fall, he was thrilled with all his loot! We have such generous friends.

And then there was the cake!

This child knows what to do with cake when it's in front of him - but the crowd of people anticipating the whole event got to him I think. He stared at it. Examined it. Stared at it some more. Looked around and all the people looking at him. Looked at the cake. Looked at me. (replay this series of events for like 5 minutes)

Then, refusing to touch the apparent filth with his hands, he started to lick it.

Once he eased into it we all got to clap because he did so great.

I'm much too lazy to make a smash cake for him, and honestly I didn't want him eating a cake bigger than his own head - so I made cupcakes too. Maybe the fact that they look like Satan is what made him so wary.....

If you see pictures of these online you'll know how cute the example was and why I wanted to make them. If you just see my pictures you'll wonder why I threw my kid a Satan-themed birthday party. Don't judge me.

After forcing our guests to cart our stuff back to our house and clean up our mess (we're such good hosts....) we promptly changed into comfy clothes for an evening sitting around and playing with the new toys.

What a lovely day for the birthday party.