Dear The Internet

For the first time ever. (I mean really, EVER!) I have Christmas cards! (please hold your applause, something even MORE amazing is coming)

Know why?

Because I have FAMILY PICTURES!!!! (which I love)

Know why?

Because I let the boys (Tommy really, he's more tightly wound than John right now) do their own hair and choose their own shoes and their eyes aren't all bloodshot from crying and lashing and being all crazy!

Know why?

Because all that therapy is finally paying off and I realized that my family finds me much more tolerable when I let them do (some of) the things they want.

And so, I give you..... (drumroll please....)

The Egbert Family Christmas Card:

(and the photos on the back)

Christmas 2013

The thing about having an awesome job in nursing is that you get a lot of regular old weekdays off. Which is thoroughly enjoyable for a person like me who would rather go to the zoo in the bitter cold of January on a Wednesday and have the whole place to myself with no special programs, shows, or animals than go in July with all the cool stuff and all the people too.

Anyway, this year Josh had to work a full day on Christmas Day, so back in November he asked the person who was working Christmas Eve if she wanted to do half days of both with him so they could be be around for stuff with their families on both days and she was all for it.

But then just before Thanksgiving another lady he works with asked him if he could cover for her Christmas Eve afternoon so she could leave earlier in the day to drive to CA to see her kids. She's a single mom, and her working in the afternoon would mean she'd leave Utah at 7pm and drive all night to be there for Christmas morning - or miss it. Of course he said yes.

So he wound up working most of Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning. Which is why our Christmas Day pictures (which number a grand total of 30) were taken at 2pm and they have pictures of a progressively drooping (and eventually sleeping) dad in the background.

He was totally exhausted, but the boys were happy to slowly open their presents and lick a bit of every dang piece of candy the dumbest (and most panicked) Santa in the world gave them.

They both got new colored pencils and notebooks for the car. Tommy has finally taken up coloring (thank you Preschool!) and John is following because if there's one thing these boys love, it's doing the same thing.

Tommy got Magnetix. Santa is stupid. It boasts on the box "108 pieces!" and Santa thought "he'll think it's so cool to build stuff with these tiny magnetic pieces!" But that was false. What is fun is taking all of these pieces out of the box and making the "longest pewer (gun. cuz guns say "pew!") ever." And then stringing that pewer out in the middle of the floor. On the other hand, Tommy is happy. So Santa is a little smart.

They were just so happy to *finally* open their presents, and Josh was so excited, and every new present was exciting and fun and very very interesting.

After slowly opening presents and John taking a nap while Tommy touched EVERYthing, we left the mess in the living room and went to visit the grandmas. Which was (as always) a lovely time. 

We stopped at Grandma Egbert's and exchanged gifts and did puzzles and looked at her amazing Christmas village. The boys had a blast. 

Then we went to Grandma Reilley's and exchanged gifts and ate food and sat around talking and playing withe gifts until well past bedtime. We all had a beautiful time. 

The boys were especially excited about the marble run that Grandma Reilley gave them. 

We set it up and ran it over and over again. Now it's part of our morning routine, wake up, dump out the marble run pieces and start whacking each other with "the longest pewer ever" then run as many marbles as we can find (2 or 3 usually...we need more marbles) down it until "pewering" sounds more fun again.

Oddly, Josh working made our holiday even better than normal. It was mellow, and slow and calm and relaxed. We were excited longer than normal, and we had a beautiful time.

I got family pictures from the fabulous Tracy Layne and Josh got a Kindle Fire. Both things we've wanted for a long time and have been saving for, and it just so happened that we found great deals in time for Christmas that lined up with our saved cash.

Josh's only surprise was a cooshy (but wildly unattractive) bath mat because we'd been using an old towel on the floor since we moved in. Though it sounds like a super lame gift, this was my embracing his cooshiness. Letting him be him.

By far the best part of Christmas for me was opening a gift from Josh. He wrote a letter that I'll save for the rest of my life and read often.

And of course, because I know you're dying to know, the boys both got flashlights. And spare batteries. But not too many spare batteries because batteries are stupid-expensive. I think next year they'll get crank flashlights and can fuel them with their own power.

Magic of Christmas

This Christmas has mostly seemed significantly less than magical.

We've been blessed and are (as always) thankful for so many good people in our lives. Though our circumstances have left plenty to be desired we've been well cared for. And that is important. Perhaps even most important. 

But I was still feeling a little grinchy. 

Our house was (is if we're being honest....) buried in boxes. The thought of getting out Christmas decorations made me want to curl up in a ball and cry until the new year. 

But then one night I took both boys to the grocery store shortly before 5. We went to the bank to deposit their birthday savings, then grab a few necessary groceries. There was a group of carolers dressed up singing songs and wandering around the store. Quite a lovely addition to the lame-sauce process of buying milk.

Christmas cheer started to spread and I stopped hating everything. I was in a long line waiting to check out when I remembered I needed to go get candy for the gingerbread house decorating thing on Sunday. So I turned around, but because of grocery traffic I went the long way around the store, we turned a corner and when I started to pass, I heard Tommy gasp and start pointing just one tiny finger under his chin. 

I stopped and looked where he was pointing, and there was Santa. Just sitting there waiting just for us. No line. No elves. No hustle. Just waiting. 

I boosted Little John out of the cart and he clung to me like I was trying to hand him over to the devil himself. (typical John behavior these days...) Then I boosted Tommy out of the cart and he stood right next to me trying so hard to be brave. (He typically stands behind my legs around new people. Next to me is a big big sign of bravery) I asked Santa if we could come over and say hi, and of course he said yes. We abandoned our cart and inched closer slowly. Tommy went over to him and gave him a high five, and knuckles, then I thought to reach for my phone to take a picture. 

Santa (the old pro) asked Tommy if he wanted to sit on his lap and talk with him for a minute. Tommy was so brave, and did exactly that. They talked about school and how old they were and Little John. They talked like old friends. Because apparently Santa in a grocery store at 5 o'clock is not in high demand and has all the time in the world to talk to Tommy. 

Eventually he asked Tommy what he wanted for Christmas, and Tommy told him the same thing he's been telling us for a couple of weeks. He wants a flashlight. But not just any flashlight - one that works.

It's going to be a really exciting Christmas morning around here. Because it's possible that we can make all his Christmas Wishes come true.

That's because Christmas really is magic. And Santa sometimes fixes everything.

Christmas

The Holidays around here were much like any other.

Christmas Music, parties, staying out late, eating rich sodium-packed food, visiting friends and family, and spending all kinds of time running around doing things we don't have time for.

I really loved it this year.

We had a lean Christmas present-wise in our own family. I did some shopping back in September and wrapped things right away. I sortof forgot what we had and as Christmas drew nearer I just kept looking at the pile thinking "we have plenty!" But on Christmas morning it seemed like all we had was a bunch of a DI books and tradition presents. (PJs, Fontanini, etc.)

Fortunately the Grandmas stepped in for my kids big time. Every grandma hit the perfect gift present out of the park this year and Tommy and John were thrilled with what they got. From Grandma Fugal a Sandra Boynton book filled with silly songs (and a CD to match). From Grandma Egbert a homemade puzzle of our family picture. From Grandma Reilley a CTR Hero Cape and book about Book of Mormon heros.

But more than that we were happy with what we did.

We spent Christmas Eve at my mom's house. Traditional soup dinner, live nativity, gift exchange, pinata, and Santa's Elves delivered PJs.

Christmas morning after enjoying our gifts and opening time together we headed out on the snowy roads to enjoy some time with family. 

We visited people and stayed long enough to chat, but still got home early enough for Josh to go to work. 

We have lovely family and it is always fun to visit them. 

But, to work Josh went as soon as we got home. I'll be calling that lovely when the paycheck comes.....

The rest of the week Josh worked and I put away Christmas. I get so tired of finding Christmas tree decorations all over the house that I just can't put it away fast enough. Finding a new home for the new stuff and throwing out the trash is stupidly gratifying for me.

I hope your Christmas was just as good as ours.

Christmas Dreams

I'm listening to Josh do the dishes while Tommy shouts at me from the bathroom "I'm all dooooo-oooonnne!" then he gets distracted by one of the million Christmas songs we taught him in various moments of foolishness.

"Up on the house top click click click! it's about....what's it about mom?.....here comes Santa Clause......down with the chimney........tick tock tick tock.......HEEEELP! I'm all dooo-oonnnne!"

It's almost that game where you word link a bunch of songs together - only not quite as cool as that since it's really just ADD caroling.

Which brings me to my Christmas wishes.

• I hope Josh keeps doing the dishes. Forever.
• And Tommy keeps singing. Until I get annoyed and turn on music. Then I hope he sits down and folds his arms and listens to the lovely music quietly.
• I hope John avoids peanuts all day today. (Did I tell you about how he's allergic to peanuts and on Thanksgiving an unknowing aunt shared her peanut butter pie with him? If you were wondering what's open at 6pm on Thanksgiving Day, it's just one Walgreens in SOUTH Provo. None of the (6) Walgreens or Rite Aids between here and there. Just that one. Also we confirmed what we already knew, Josh is good in emergencies and I am a freakin' basket case.)
• I hope the snow doesn't stop coming. Until April. Because it's magical. And Tommy keeps staring at the window. 
• I hope I really don't have to go to the grocery store until after New Years...I think that's possible, but I'm not entirely sure - which probably means it isn't at all possible.
• I hope there are plenty of presents under the tree tomorrow (there are) and that my kids are enchanted and in love and GRATEFUL. Because we have been given much.

A Moment of Silence

This may be the last year I can get away with such a lazy Christmas.

I bought everything from Santa right in front of Tommy.

Then he helped me carry it up the stairs.

Then he watched me wrap it and "hide" it in my closet.

He's been good about not opening presents, but every now and then he's fascinated with one and really wants to open it.

Until last night.

He ran into my bathroom (and subsequently the closet - the "hiding" place of Santa's presents) and slammed the door so I couldn't follow him.

Upon hearing the door slam, I went to see what naughty thing he was doing. I opened the door and he slammed it shut in my face again.

I pushed my way in, and a deliriously happy Tommy tried his best not to let me.

But I caught a glimpse of what he was hiding.

That is Santa's (not so) secret stash of presents.

I suppose it's time we step it up around here and put some effort into promoting the magic part of Christmas.

Gingerbread

This year a new Reilley family tradition was born.

Gingerbread houses!

I asked Tommy if he wanted to make a house or a train. He picked train. 

Unfortunately he did not pick "wait for the frosting to dry" so our train turned into a tee-pee train. A poorly constructed tee-pee train at that. And our boy did not turn into a builder. But he was one happy camper since he got to call all the shots. "right there!" and "ish one." (this one) were his favorite phrases.

He's never seen so much candy in one place before.

Ignore his chocolate-y covered face, and my well-rounded one and focus on the smiles.

"seventeen, fer-teen, niiiine" he counted while he put up the "baby tree" (in a high squeaky voice)

If only real trains ran on candy-coated tracks........

I can't wait to do this again next year.

Glory

Tommy was having a meltdown during a particularly long drive a week or so ago. I could only sing "Up On the Housetop" one more time before going insane, so I my mind started racing through other things to occupy Tommy's mind.

My dad had just reminded me of how we (mostly my siblings) had memorized Luke 2 when we were young, so I started thinking of Christmas scriptures I knew so I could teach him while we drove. 

Now one of his favorites is "Gol-ry".

Today while waiting for the main event on the potty, we practiced scriptures and read stories. And since Tommy was conveniently trapped...I had time to grab my camera. Just for you.

Luke 2:14

Dreaming

I am dreaming of a white Christmas.

Figuratively of course since I haven't slept long enough to literally dream since Little John was born.

But that's not all I'm (figuratively) dreaming of....

I'm dreaming of an end table that doesn't house a bottle or a diaper or wet wipes or a used burp cloth.

I'm dreaming of a day when I shower before noon.

I'm dreaming of a shopping trip that doesn't end in a mad dash home to feed the babe and stop the screaming.

I'm dreaming of a full night's sleep.

I'm dreaming of a Christmas shopping list with everything checked off. Everything.


I'm dreaming of Bob Harper. Biggest Loser on Netflix has gotten me through midnight feedings and I just have to know - does anyone NOT love Bob?

I'm dreaming of my skinny clothes. This time last year I was wearing an entirely different wardrobe.

I'm dreaming of packing up the bottles. My cupboards were so delightfully clear.

I'm dreaming of a quiet night at home, watching my boys, the Christmas tree, and sipping hot cocoa.

What are you dreaming of?

One thing I love about Ross

One thing I love about Ross is finding treasures like this in the shoe section.

I really wish I had bought this treasure to take to a white elephant party next Christmas. It would've gone down in history with the bag of 100 tiny pink doll shirts.

But instead I needed these beautiful new shoes.

Santa Haters - it's genetic

Remember how Tommy didn't love Santa?

While I was looking for childhood photos for Day 4 I found this beauty. 

Amy meets Santa

Santa's beard certainly has become more curly and less flowy hasn't it? 

Scandalous!

My daddy Santa gave me something to wear for Christmas.

It's totally backless.

He probably didn't know that when he bought it though, because I didn't know it until I put it on.

That's because all the pictures I've seen of this item, look like this:

They don't really highlight the backless nature of the Snuggie. They're busy highlighting the arm-full nature instead.

But when you're wearing it, you feel more like this:

Backless nature = highlighted.

Somehow that face (above*) is a lot cuter when you're in a wedding dress (below).

*Aren't you glad I labeled which was the Snuggie and which was the wedding dress? I could've had some really confused readers I think...


Thanks for the awesome present daddy. I promise not to wear it in public.

I Know it by Heart

For Christmas this year Santa brought Beauty & the Beast to Josh.

He made this face when he opened it, and yes that's real, not staged. Seriously.

If I thought he'd be embarrassed about me announcing his love of a Disney Princess movie, I wouldn't post it, but I'm pretty sure he's proud of it. So don't judge me. 

ANYway, yesterday with sickie sickie Tommy, I thought we should watch it. Rather, I thought he should watch it, and I should put away all the Christmas crap which has been driving me crazy!. He thought we should watch it together.
He won.
Mostly.

Turns out that I have the complete movie memorized. Seriously.

I think it's because my 4th grade class performed the play. Charles Donaldson was Belle's crazy father, and every time that guy has a line, I hear Charles' voice in my head instead of the Disney guy's voice. That means something about his performance right? He was incredible. Do you think that Charles Donaldson will ever google himself and wind up at this post? Just in case: Hi Charles! Long time no see! 

I was the rose. And the narrator. (I shared the part of rose/narrator with someone else and we took turns being each part.) What that means is that on "rose" night I wore green tights and a green leotard and a flower thing on my head (thank you Anne Geddes). And my big scene was plucking the last petal and dramatically dropping it to the ground.

Now I don't know if you remember 4th grade or not....but probably you don't remember me in 4th grade. For a woman of my stature 4th grade is an awkward time. I was lumpy in all the wrong places and wearing a leotard and tights seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Fortunately digital photography did not exist yet, and my mom was not nearly as camera-happy as I am. (Thanks mom!)

On the flip side as the narrator I got to wear my prettiest pink dress. I remember standing in front of the mirror at home before the big performance admiring my dress. This was the equivalent of Prom in my eyes and I was going to be the most beautiful narrator there was. I. Looked. Fabulous.

So here's the moral of the story: Sometimes in life you gotta be the awkward, lumpy, oversized rose in a green leotard and tights. Other times in life you get to be the prettiest, pinkest, ruffliest narrator there ever was.

I choose to stand in front of the mirror on pretty, pink, ruffly days.

Death of a Snowman

A new tradition was born in our family this year. I'm naming it "Death of a Snowman" but normal people would call it a pinata.

Only one child hates the new tradition and that child belongs to me. He wept while the other children beat the snowman mercilessly.

Everybody took turns (starting with the youngest grandchild) and that pinata was stuffed so full that everybody got at least 4 or 5 turns.

The kids did a pretty good job.

Ryann whacking the snowman.

Garret showing it who's boss.

 But then we had to bring in the big guns.

Gramma getting ready for the perfect pitch.

Randy stabs the snowman.

Josh was thrilled that he was chosen to be master of the pinata.

And of course once Tommy got the goods, he was totally fine with the new game.

A Breath of Fresh Air

The last few months around here have been.....stressful, anxiety-inducing, painful, awkward and exhausting - almost suffocatingly so.

In the middle of a meltdown last week I told Josh that this was probably going to be the worst Christmas of my life. He took that to mean he should tell me stories about anything that ever went wrong on Christmas in his life. ("There was this one time that time when Dad said if we couldn't stop fighting nobody was going to open presents and he TOOK. THEM. AWAY!!" [insert horrific gasp here]) He was appalled when I told him this Christmas put that Christmas to shame because a completely sucky life is significantly more depressing than having to wait to open your presents.

Maybe my low expectations are the reason that the last 2 days have felt like a very refreshing breathe of fresh air, it felt like everything that could possibly go right did, and it felt like all the aspects of our completely sucky life just vanished for a little while.

We gave (mostly) great gifts, we received more than we could ever dream of needing, and most importantly we played with our family and did nothing but make wonderful memories. Somehow everything was just plain beautiful.

On our way home tonight I asked Josh what his favorite part of Christmas was. He said something about being happy and what a relief that was. And I had to agree. These 48 hours have been exactly the calming peaceful break from reality that I have so desperately wanted. They have been a breath of fresh air.

Here's hoping I don't have to wait another year to feel like my lungs are full again.

Not as I thought

There are all these moments that I have planned in my head. I know how it will be and I can't wait for it to go down exactly according to plan.

Everything was going well last night, we celebrated with my family doing all the wonderful traditions and were on our way home when the puking started.

An hour later we were headed for home again - while googling places that were still open at 11pm on Christmas Eve because we needed pedialyte for our sick little one.

In case you wondered, Walgreens is open until midnight on Christmas Eve, nowhere else is. Don't even try.

As a result of the late night, Tommy slept until well after 8. (Heavenly!) Which means that instead of Tommy being awake and anxiously waiting for his parents to get him out of bed, his parents were anxiously waiting for him to wake up so we could get this party started!

Instead of sharing a big beautiful breakfast, Tommy is sticking to the BRAT diet and we learned that he doesn't like toast.

Instead of him going crazy and tearing the wrapping paper off everything in sight, he was totally satisfied when he had a fist full of nuts from his stocking. He had no need to open anything else.

Instead of heading to Josh's mom's by 10am, we're still thinking about getting ready for the day at 11.

Instead of a quiet morning sitting by the glow of the Christmas tree in the dark, we turned on the party tunes, danced and opened all the blinds to let the morning sun in.

Instead of Tommy sporting his brand new Christmas jammies in all the morning photos, he's dressed in his cousin's skeleton jammies because they were dry and that's better than wet.

The last 12 hours have been far from what I expected or planned, but they've been every bit as beautiful as I imagined. Here's hoping the next 12 hours go just as well.

Tommy Goes To Temple Square

On Monday I dragged us all downtown and proceeded to insist that we HAVE FUN RIGHT NOW!!!

While I won't say it was the best night ever (it sortof sucked.....) the pictures would suggest otherwise.

Tommy started off in the stroller - no problem. Properly bundled and ready for action.

That lasted almost 3 minutes, and he was ready to get out and move.

Until he was tired and needed a ride.

At which point playing in the water seemed like a good idea. And it was. Tommy was happier playing in the freezing water than at any other point during the evening.

The lights were breathtaking. All the grounds workers really outdid themselves this year.

We (Josh) stopped a stranger and asked her to take our picture. I'm too chicken to do that, but I'm glad Josh isn't. Look how cute we are!

Tommy would cry and cry and cry until Josh showed him something cool. "Look at these lights Tommy! Lookit how they shine!" he'd say.

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to touch the lights, but Tommy can get away with pretty much anything these days.

"Here come the Shepherds" explains dad "they want to see the baby Jesus. We want to see it too, but there are too many people over there, so we'll just look at the Shepherds instead. Okay?"

We spent the majority of the evening chasing Tommy around and arguing about how to properly "do" the lights. It has since been brought to my attention that because I am "tightly wound" I ruined the evening and it was nobody's fault but my own. I still say my plan was better....but the boys seemed to have more fun, so I suppose they did it right.

After the lights I stormed off to Maverik in search of a donut so I could eat donuts, drink hot chocolate, watch a Christmas movie and pretend the evening was a successful celebration of Christmas.

And for those of you who haven't yet seen Tommy's mad walking skills - check him out at the Joseph Smith Building! My baby's a genius right?

Kurt Bestor Concert

When Meleta calls and asks if you're available on [insert date here] you should probably say "yes!" and then get that way, because what happens on [insert date here] is a party. 

First we ate at Tucanos. While this happens to be my own personal worst nightmare (people wandering around with gigantic hunks of meat on sticks and sharing with everyone EWWWW!!!!!) it was positively wonderful. Plus they have a totally awesome salad bar and the world's best grilled pineapple, so I was set. 

Also, the dudes dig the meat. So...ya know.....

Then we went to Kurt Bestor where we sat a safe distance away from the front row (where you get called on to do stuff), but still close enough to notice how much Kurt sweats when he's really into it. The perfect seats. 

We parked 5 blocks away and walked to the concert in the cold wintery downtown goodness. I miss living there. I miss parking 5 blocks away from your goal. And I really really miss sharing a coat pocket with Josh because everybody's hands are warmer that way. 

If you lived here, here's what you'd hear (and see).

Me: "Hey, while you are both still handsome, can I take a picture of you by the Christmas tree?"
Josh: "Yeah. Hold on while I pose."
[poses]
Josh: "OK, go."

 Me: "OK now can you get handsome again for a real picture?"
Tommy: "aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!" (or loosely translated: "Daddy's tickling me and I can'tstoplaughingandIcan'tholdstillandhewon'tletgo!!!!!!")
Josh: "See? I'm making him smile."

Me: "Just one. Please can I have just one?"
Josh: "OK, OK." (hangs his head in defeat)

Camera: "overload - OVERLOAD!!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE."
Tommy: "ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!"
Josh:

Me: "Fine, you're not that handsome anyway." (hangs head in defeat.)