Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Judgement Day

I went to my hometown today for a baby shower for my very best friend from "way back when".

I fretted and stewed all morning about the event. OK if we're being honest it was more than just this morning..... You know when you see people you haven't seen in a long time and then you see them for a little while and you judge them based on what you see during that time? It's not a mean judgement, in fact we usually call it "catching up" because it sounds less....judgmental. But really you're just trying to figure out if their life is as screwed up as you knew it would be based on their rotten-ness at age 14.

This is the concept that triggered the fretting and stewing. What to wear? What to say? Hair up or down? Embrace the "dead mommy" look or try to fool them with a quick stop at Glamour Shots first? (Ha! Who knew that place still exists? Wow!)

Anyway, I was a bit paranoid. These people will look at me and who knows what they'll see?
Same haircut.
Cheap clothes.
Still refuses to wear shoes that cost more than $2.
Won't keep her mouth shut for more than 2 seconds.
Never learned how to properly eat an éclair. We had etiquette dinners....why didn't they teach us how to properly stuff our faces? Rude.

Add the baby to the mix and my skills as a mother are also in question.
What if he pukes?
What if I'm not cute enough with him?
What if he doesn't like me while we're there?
What if he hasn't slept and cries the whole time?
What if I can't comfort him?
What if he likes other people more than me?
What if someone sees me pick up the binkie off the floor and stick it in his mouth?

I walked from my old house to her old house for the first time in more than 5 years. A road that used to be very familiar and now is strange and foreign. The trees have grown, people planted flowers where there used to be weeds and the "dark and scary corner" which was abandoned and street-lamp-less is now developed and lovely. Lived in by complete strangers. On MY street.

I stood on her porch and knocked with a baby in my arms and my mommy at my side.

I used to come in and head straight to the attic which we deemed our hang out.

Today Marci, Grandmother of the baby, (Who, by the way, is an angel. One time when I got married to Josh it was July, and my cake lady was coming from far away. And it was July. And we were in Utah. And it was July. And guess what? The cake melted. You know....because it was July. Totally melted. And Marci said "let's just make more fondant and put it over a pan, nobody will know the difference." And she did. And it was lovely. Because she rescued my cake.) welcomed us into her lovely home and fed us lovely food and we all had lovely conversation.

My child, who had completely missed a nap and should have been exceedingly grouchy, was an angel. I think he even smiled at a few people and only spit up on one baby loving woman who did NOT throw him across the room and gag. Also I happened to have a cloth on hang just in case. Judge THAT!

Also he has some horrible rashy thing on his lower lip which I'm sure makes it looks like he's diseased or something....so maybe they think my child is diseased because of my slobish tendencies. The rash wasn't there yesterday. It made an appearance just for The Judgement. My mom thinks it's due to the lip sucking. Any cures for lip-sucking rashes?

Tommy was sweet.
The people I haven't seen in a hundred years were sweet. (And you'll be glad to know that they are all wildly successful and happy and put together and beautiful and even the queen of judging (me) couldn't find a thing wrong with any of them. They've exceeded my high expectations for their perfect lives. Every. Single. One of them.
Carly, the soon-to-be mother, was sweet. She's probably one of the most gracious people I've ever known. And she's a perfect hostess spending appropriate amounts of time with all her guests and making people feel comfortable and un-hosted. She was always that way. Just one reason I loved her so dearly.

It was a lovely afternoon, and as an added bonus I got to spend the rest of the day with my mom. Which is always lovely.

So since I'm not completely mortified over anything that happened (I have a strict "ignore all rashes and puke" policy...life's better that way), I suppose I'll just assume I passed.

It's easier than assuming I failed.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Did you know?

Did you know that Tommy sits in a high chair for meals now? He picks up his food, puts in his mouth, and grins.

Did you know that the average person laughs 15 times per day? I think I'm way WAY above average in this respect and here's why:
  • Aundrea and I are convinced that we're employing a team at Miriam Webster's who reads our e-mails for new words that really ought to be in the dictionary. Words like four-fer (what's better than a two-fer?), up-in-the-air-ness, and disintegretous are common among people of our intelligence. 
  • Josh calls and sings on my voice mail when any good song comes on the radio. Sometimes I cry, but usually I laugh.
  • Tommy gut laughs with me. And if you're not gonna laugh at your kid, you're probably not gonna laugh at anything.
  • I read a lotta blogs. And some of them link to funny videos like this:
Did you know that we will be going camping this weekend for the first time of the season, also for the first time with Tommy? I blame the weather. And the racing. And the family events. And the schooling. And the jobs. And the general busyness of life for the fact that we completely missed out on the two best months of camping this year. Lame sauce. 

Did you know that my older brother can beat Super Mario Brothers? The whole game. On the old school Nintendo. I'm not sure I ever fully appreciated what a work of art that truly was. That was way back in the day before you could save the game and come back later. The kid was dedicated.

Did you know that Josh is trying to beat the whole game? Fortunately for him you can save now. Because if you couldn't I would probably kill him.

Did you know that all of you summer-lovers finally won? I just want to take a minute to remind you that you win EVERY year. July always comes, and we all want to die because of the heat. So, next April when it snows.....just don't forget this feeling of being baked alive OK? 

Friday, June 25, 2010

I used to find dragonflies beautiful

I'm not sure when that changed, but I have vivid memories of crouching near the lake shore to watch the beautiful creatures fly past and land on the water.

The dragonflies of my childhood were large but elegant and vibrant shades of blue and green.

The dragonflies of my adulthood are trying to eat my child alive and have eyeballs much too large for their faces.

The rollie pollies (or potato bugs, or whatever you call them) of my childhood were fascinating creatures. I loved to watch them crawl over the tips of my fingers then roll down the steep slope into the palm of my hand.  I heard once that their armor was so strong they could be stepped on by something ridiculous like 20 times their own weight.

The rollie pollies of my adulthood are mostly nonexistent. But sometimes they're the things that go "crunch" instead of "squish" when you step on them. Apparently I weigh more than 20 more than them....

Now I can't help but wonder what else would have been beautiful had we been introduced in the phase of my childhood when everything was lovely.

What used to be lovely to you?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Too bad the Little Red Hen didn't have a mother

Once I finally got over my yeast dilemma, I made my bread.

With the wheat my mother ground for me while I was at her house last time.

And the dough enhancer she measured for me.

And the Bosch she taught me how to use.

And the gluten she purchased and had on hand (who has gluten on hand?....other than you Emily....)

And when my visiting teacher came over and said "you made bread? Like from scratch?" and looked at me like I was a bit nuts...(well, let's face it, I am a bit nuts) I felt all proud of me like the little red hen.

"I ground the wheat into flour, I mixed the ingredients, I formed the loaves, I stayed in the house while they rose (reese, raised, risened?), and while they baked. I buttered their tops. I sliced the bread. and I am going to eat the bread!"

But then I remembered that my mom did most of the work and she wasn't even here today.

I bet if the little red hen's mom was as cool as mine, she would have been willing to share bread with her visiting teachers too.

Putting off the inevitable

You know how sometimes you're supposed to do something but you don't really want to, so as soon as you run into a snag in the process you just quit?

Today I was supposed to make bread.  You know....so my family could eat.

But my new exciting recipe calls for instant yeast, and I only have boring yeast....-UNinstant yeast.....delayed yeast. Except the kind that comes in pouches, I have instant yeast that way. But the recipe doesn't call for yeast in # of packets, it calls for it in Tablespoons, and really, what are you gonna do with a tiny bit of leftover yeast?

Plus, how are you even going to figure out how much of it you really need? (Heaven forbid I google the teaspoon/tablespoon conversion rate...)

That sure does sound like a lot of effort, doesn't it?

PLUS you have to get out the Bosch too.

I think that sounds like entirely too much effort.

Besides that, apparently Tommy only needs 2 naps/day now. And that's not really long enough to bake bread anyway.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


As I left the house for my run this morning there was a rolled up piece of paper tucked under Josh's windshield wiper.

I could see the word "WANTED" through the paper and thought that it must be a joke from friends. Like "Wanted: super cool friends who are pretty and nice and fun and always available to entertain us when we're bored." (Followed by a picture of Josh & me of course.) Then we could retaliate by posting pictures of them under a caption of "LOST: lonely puppies. See how funny that would be?

But I unrolled it to find an actual real live "wanted" poster.

OK the edges weren't burned and it wasn't on brown paper and the lady on it was not wearing that hat....but other than it was a REAL LIVE wanted poster. On plain old regular white copy paper.

Maybe I watch too much Law & Order: SVU, but I'm pretty sure the lady on the wanted poster was somehow involved in drugs and kidnapping. Also she at one time lived within 3 buildings of my house.

I'm also pretty sure she's going to be standing on my balcony looking in the window when I go to close the blinds tonight. (If you didn't just shudder, I'd like you to be my personal body guard.....not you Jessica or Ashlie....I know you shuddered.)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Strawberry Days

Friday night Josh and I planned to go the Strawberry Days Rodeo while grandma listed to our reverently sleeping child. We even brought our cowboy hats and Josh took his allergy pills.

Instead we spent 20+ minutes going 1 mile on the freeway around the point of the mountain while Tommy (not so subtly) let us know how he feels about being stuck in traffic.

So when we got to my mom's house, I bribed Josh and told him if he let me put on my jammies and spend the night letting grandma and grandpa wait on us hand and foot, I'd let him babysit Tommy the next morning while I did my race. 

He took the deal.

So instead of rodeo-ing we ate a real meal prepared by someone other than me, we played Phase 10 and Uno, ate ice cream and watched Monk. Hanging out with old people is more fun than you think it is. Every time. 

After the race on Saturday morning (for a complete recap, see the running blog), we headed over to the Peerade. (For those of you not well versed in the language of my daddy....that would be a parade.) If you live in Pleasant Grove (or thereabouts) and didn't go to the Peerade, you're the only one as far as I can tell. There was quite the turnout.

Tommy thought it was cool.

Well at least as cool as he thinks anything is.

Then Josh stole Tommy's chair while Tommy and I yelled at the politicians to "stop calling me!" 

Then Josh teased Tommy with the licorice that he's not allowed to eat.

Meanwhile, Logan sat there nicely.

And the other Hunter boys shared their candy.

When we got home, Grandma thought SOMEONE ought to wear the cowboy hat (since we missed out on the opportunity the night before)...

But Tommy didn't like it.

And that's how we celebrated Strawberry Days.

Monday, June 21, 2010

In defense of Hoarders

There are very few things quite as delightful as finding an old pile of pictures tucked inside an old wallet, tucked inside an old purse, tucked inside a lovely basket of things I never use in the very tippy top of my closet.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Did you know? The Father's Day Edition

Did you know that there are 67.8 million dads in the United States?

Did you know that Ron (Dad Egbert) was a die-hard Ute fan?

Did you know that there are 23,754 sporting goods stores, 14,193 hardware stores, and only 8,610 men's clothing stores in this country? Do you think you got your dad the right thing?

Did you know that Dad Reilley loves wave runners, 4 wheelers and dirt bikes? Anything with a motor really. And anything that can get him dirty and move him fast at the same time.

Did you know that there are 147,000 stay-at-home Dad's floating around out there? They're probably not really floating....although I've seen more than one dad suck the helium out of his kid's balloon...... Being Mr. Mom just gets cooler and cooler.

Did you know that Dad Fugal can grow just about anything in his vegetable garden (aka The Farm) even in this stupid Utah "soil"? I don't know if he's ever had a crop fail.

Did you know that a measly 72% of Americans plan to celebrate or acknowledge Father's Day this year? The number seems incredibly low to me....sortof sad. So, I guess what I'm sayin' is that if you're blowing it off you should probably change your mind and celebrate it.

Did you know that Josh plays the piano? Beautifully actually. And he can play out of his head. He's a bit out of practice since we don't have a piano in our home, but when we go to any relative's home with a piano he loves to sit down and play. When we grow up he promises to play me lullabies.

Did you know that Josh becoming a father is probably the greatest thing ever to happen to him? I think it makes him happier than anything else in the whole wide world.

Friday, June 18, 2010

drumroll please......

OK all, let's pretend it's still Friday morning even though it's nearly 1:30.  Seriously.

First of all I have to say I got more comments on my "what diaper bag can I not live without?" post than I did on this hair giveaway. You should know that like the ultimate cheapskate I am, I opted for a $20 diaper bag from Walmart because, in Josh's words "if you get a diaper bag that will last forever, you have to use ONE diaper bag for-ev-er, and are you really a one diaper bag kind of girl?" Walmart it is.

So, either I effectively scared you all away from swanky salons with my mullet story, or you already have good hair, or you thought I'd rig the contest and you wouldn't win anyway.

Well. You were wrong, I didn't rig it.

And you did win.

If you are Jessica that is.
Jessica who was comment #9.
Jessica who said: OMIGOSH PUH-LEASE PICK ME!!!! I need a new haircut SO BAD and have been wanting one for MONTHS. I haven't had a haircut in a YEAR. It would be a miracle if I won this. (which sounds totally dramatic but is also totally serious.) Pick me!!

If I didn't love her so much I'd tease her about the number of exclamation points used, but I do love her so much so I won't.

So, my dear Jessica, no you're not cursed, yes you did win. Plus bonus for me, delivery to you doesn't even require a stamp! Yay! (Do you need it today, or do you wanna wait until Monday morning when I see you anyway? I promise not to flake and just not show like I did this morning....I PROMISE.)

Double bonus for me, now that I don't have to use the scary salon gift card and I can get my hair cut!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

makeshift weekend & 20 second thunderclaps

Josh is "only" in school Monday - Wednesday nights.

That means that last night was our makeshift weekend.

He got home from school and we ate enough M&M's and corn on the cob to make me sick while watching SYTYCD to make me happy.

Then I ran to Walmart - which was a gutsy move because the best time to go to Walmart is before 8am (and it was definitely after 8am).. On a weekday. Because Walmart on a Saturday is my very own personal version of Hell. But the thing about Walmart on a Wednesday night, is that it's almost as good as a "before 8am" trip. At least it was last night.

Except that their stupid giftcards NEVER work. And when you have 3 of them.....well forget about it. Fortunately the nice guy in Electronics didn't make fun of me when it turned out there was a whopping $2.30 on that gift card.

So by the time I got home from my "quick run to Walmart" it was an hour later and Josh, who was trying his darndest to wait up for me, was engulfed in the lovesac completely unconscious.

So I watched a chick flick by myself.

Until the lightning and thunder started. And then I watched the thunderstorm by myself.

You won't believe me (unless you listened to it too) but there were 20 second thunderclaps last night. It rumbled and it rolled and it clapped and I counted (mississippily) to make sure I wasn't exaggerating. I wasn't.

It. Was. Beautiful.

I tried to wake Josh up to tell him about the thunder, he heard one in his half-aware state and said "whoa....that thunder must have been really cold." and then he continued tripping from the living room to the bed. I think he meant that the lightning must have been really close....but really that wouldn't have made sense either since we weren't noticing how close lightning and thunder were to each other, but simply how long one thunder rolled.

Anyhow, it wasn't much, but it seemed like a lovely weekend night to me.

Until Thomas started his screeching at quarter to 6 this morning. Then I remembered that it's not the weekend at all. And even if it were it wouldn't matter.

Because weekends will never matter again.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Fat Tuesday

I don't do anything on Tuesdays. It is the ultimate lazy day. I don't run in the morning, I don't Zumba in the evening, if I'm feeling really good I go for a walk....sometimes....but certainly not regularly.

Today my sister (and her 2 girls) are coming to play, so maybe it will be a slightly less "fat" Tuesday. But I did eat Sopapilla Cheesecake for breakfast....so chances are slim.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A giveaway

Remember when I ran that diabetes run? Well I won something in the raffle at the end. And being the kind of giving person that I am, I'm donating it to one lucky giveaway winner.

OK it's not because I'm giving. It's because I'm a pansy. Remember the time I got a mullet from a lady at a fancy salon? No? Go back and read about it. Then laugh at me. And we'll all mope because I didn't allow anybody to take pictures of the mullet and that is a tragedy. I've learned my lesson: some people don't belong in salons and I am "some people".

And so, one of you, my lucky friends, could win a free haircut and color from some chick named Mandi (with an "i") at Taylor D'Shaw Salon (in Murray). She's probably fantastic. She's not the lady who gave me the mullet. The gift certificate has a fancy logo (and we all know the importance of a fancy logo). They have great reviews on google. One of the services they list is "color correction" which is probably a good sign. You know if a place regularly fixes other people's mistakes that's a good sign, right?

I've almost talked myself into using it again, but lucky for you, I'm still terrified of salons.

So, if you wanna win a free stuff courtesy of Taylor D'Shaw/Utah Diabetes Center/rock-star-mullet-crazy-psycho-who-scared-me-away-from-swanky-salons-forever, here's what to do:

Be a follower and leave a comment. 

That's it. Just leave a comment. If you wanna tell me that you love me and think I'm cool it just might up your chances, but last I checked random number generators don't care about flattery. Meh, do it anyway, just in case.

But make sure you enter by Thursday at midnight so I can announce the winner Friday morning.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Did you know?

Did you know that I've been trying to have a good long nap for the past 3 days and Josh keeps coming home and interrupting? I know, I shouldn't complain, it means I get to chill with my husband. But all I want is for him to climb in bed with me and sleep uninterrupted for 2 hours. That's all I want. For all my birthdays and all my Christmases forever. (Only because there's still mother's day.....)

Did you know that Tommy is capable of sleeping "elsewhere"? As long as "elsewhere" is in a quiet dark room in a play pen with his "lovey blanket" and "lovey bear". I suppose we'll test this theory later today...but he did it last night.

Did you know that Josh looks hot in my totally awesome pink Alaska hoodie? I know because he just came home from Maverik wearing it.

Did you know that tomorrow we'll be back to summer? Swimming, sweating and swearing. OK not so much swearing...but clearly something else needed to round out that list.

Did you know that it's Father's Day in a week? The father's in my life are incredible men and I love them all dearly, and this year my heart explodes with Josh because he is the perfect Father for my child and while I know that he is not perfect, I know just as surely that he is perfect for my family. Now what exactly do you get for a man like that? A man like that who wants nothing, wants me to spend nothing, has no room to store anything, and deserves everything? Somehow a Big Hunk candybar just doesn't say it.....

Did you know that I'm currently napping at least twice a day? I'm not quite sure what happened to that whole "I don't take naps" business....because it's certainly isn't true now.

Did you know that the only letter that doesn't appear on the periodic table is 'J'? Go ahead science kids, try to prove me wrong. Also the only reason any person can ever find 'J' in the alphabet road trip game is because of Flying J. In fact that's probably why they named it that. Or maybe because the dude who invented it was named "Jay" whatever.

Did you know that even if you eat 4 ounces of salad (that's a lot) you still won't cancel out how much fat is in that homemade ice cream? *sigh* unfortunate isn't it?

Did you know that "waterfight" just got put on the list of approved Sabbath Day activities? If Josh's mom allows it, it's OK. And well...judging by the level of soakedness of Josh's shirt....it's allowed.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

One thing I love about summer

One thing I love about summer with a baby is that the laundry is just so much cuter!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Dinner with Grandpa

My grandpa is 80-something years old and still hosts a big fat Sunday dinner every Sunday.  Last week we got to go, and it was a beautiful thing.

I haven't eaten off of that china with real silver and cloth napkins for entirely too long.

Plus Aunt Amy (who might be a little grandbaby hungry...) was kind enough to take Tommy while Josh and I both ate a full meal with 2 hands each!

After dinner it is time to sing. One of the Incredibly Talented Fugals (this time it was Rachel) sits down at the piano and plays whatever hymns we ask her to while we all sing. She plays lovely arrangements and intros, but manages to keep a steady rhythm for us to sing with at the same time.

Grandpa talks about how much he misses Grandma which made me cry. My family (parents and 5 kids) lived with them for most of my Elementary School life and I only remember his house being full. Full of people and love and food and stuff and people and people and more people. The cousins were always over, with activities and celebrations happening all the time. But when we were there last week, I realized that he's there alone. My heart breaks when I think about living without Josh for any period of time, this week my heart broke for my Grandpa who isn't with the love of his life (for now).

On the plus side he is surrounded by his kids and their kids and our kids. And we love him dearly.

Showering: A Big Commitment

The thing about showering if you're a woman is that it's much much more than just plain showering. Josh (a man) can "just jump in the shower real quick" and be ready to walk out the door 15 minutes later. The shower is the longest part of the Getting Ready process for him.

If you make a woman shower, she'll also have to dry off.
When she's drying off she'll realize how dry her skin is and need some lotion.
When she gets to the part of applying lotion to her face she'll realize that she really should put on makeup.
But before applying makeup, she has to dry her hair. (So the hairdryer won't melt the makeup.)
While drying her hair, she realizes that the brush needs to be cleaned.
While cleaning the brush she notices the garbage can has not been emptied.
While taking out that teeny tiny bathroom garbage she may as well get the other garbage cans.
But before taking out the garbage she has to finish cleaning the kitchen to make sure there isn't anything else to throw away.
This is when she remembers that she hasn't had breakfast.
While eating her cereal she reads some blogs and checks her e-mail which may trigger any number of "just real quick" tasks.
By noon she should make it back to the bathroom to finish putting on her makeup.
But by then it's time to go swimming, and really.....what's the point of makeup in the pool?
And before she knows it, the babe is napping, she's been home from the pool for 1/2 hour and is back in the shower again.

Using Wednesday as an example, I got up and went running at 6:30. You should always shower after you run.
Then I went for a walk with a friend at noon. And when you walk at noon and it's (say it with me class.....) "9 million degrees outside!" you should really shower after you walk.
But after Thomas wakes up from his nap at 3 or 4 we're going to go swimming. And every knows you have to shower IMMEDIATELY after swimming or your hair will turn green.

So the problem is that if I showered every time I should, that would be 3 times/day easily. And since each shower leads to a 4 hour string of activity, in theory I could spend 12 hours a day just showering.

And if I spent 12 hours/day showering, when would I have time to get dirty?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Thomas: 8 months

Can you believe we're already doing this? I can't.

The most important things you should know about Thomas are these:

He discovered puffs. And now he doesn't get as excited about green beans. It reminds me of the time I discovered that honey nut cheerios weren't always mixed with regular cheerios. I'll never eat regular ones again. 

Plus the kid likes to have his feet up. Who doesn't?
He thinks bathing is the cat's meow. Or that thing about sliced bread. Whatever, he likes it.

He had his first taste of my mother's homemade rolls. Listen, if you haven't had the pleasure of eating these things you haven't lived. Period. He downed 3 of them at dinner on Sunday. And that was AFTER he'd already had his dinner.

He's freakin' adorable huh?
He shakes his head (like "no") and smiles and leans into you while he does it. It's probably the most adorable thing he's ever learned. (Except grabbing onto my thumbs when he was still a lump of nothingness. Nothing will ever beat that.) 

He rolls everywhere. But he has zero interest in crawling. In fact I'm not even sure he has knees. Certainly not the kind that support you.

He laughs hysterically, but only when he's in the mood.
His "camera face" has changed to a cheesy grin complete with drool down the belly.

He babbles dadadada and screeches mmmmmmmmmmma! all the time.

When he's tired he puts his head on my shoulder and leaves it there while I say "awwww....loves...." and then pops his head up real fast and smiles because he thinks he's so funny. Can't imagine where he got the "thinks he's so funny" bit.....

He still wears 6 (some large 3 month) month clothes and his swimsuit positively drowns him. But I don't care. I still drape it over him almost daily.

Every once in a while he wakes up at like 9:30pm and freaks out and only his daddy can calm him down. I think he does it on school nights just to make sure daddy really did come home. Also he might be doing it to remind me that I can't fix everything in his life. I know.

Also he still has blue eyes. The beautifulest blue eyes I've ever seen. EVER.

And just like that it's way past time for bed!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Binkie Graveyard

There are a few things you need to know.

  1. I learned an important lesson from my mom a long long time ago: you should always have at least 1 extra. It doesn't matter what it is, you should have 1 extra just in case. This is why I carry 2 emergency tampons in my purse, 6 diapers in the diaper bag even if we're only going to the grocery store for 2 minutes, 24 cans of cream of chicken soup, 1 ginormous box of laundry detergent we're using and 1 for when it unexpectedly runs out, always an extra toothbrush and tube of toothpaste in the cupboard and a tiny one in my purse. I might be what you'd call paranoid or high maintenance, but I prefer to call it extraordinarily prepared. For most things.
  2. Thomas is well known for his ability to sneak stuff out. When we go on walks he somehow always manages to toss the burp cloth overboard. always. I've been mailed burp clothes, and had them delivered to my home, and picked them up from random strangers who know they are my burp clothes because we cross paths daily. Really. Seriously. He does that.

We used to have exactly 2 binkies and I knew where both of them were at all times. 1 in his mouth and 1 in a bag in the diaper bag. For emergency purposes only.

Then my extraordinarily kind brother donated some to the cause.

Then I had 6 binkies and only knew where the 2 that Thomas doesn't like were at all times (in the cupboard).

Lately we lose binkies at the rate of at least 1 per day.

For the last 3 days we've been down to 1. 1 solitary binkie.

Having only 1 binkie it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. What if it gets lost? Or we drop it in the middle of the road? Or Thomas suddenly sprouts teeth and bites the nipple off? Or the binkie thief steals it in the night? We would be dead meat. That's what.

So today I was determined to find the missing binkies. It shouldn't be that hard....I live in a house with exactly 2 bedrooms and 1 gigantic room. There simply aren't that many hiding places. I know, I've been trying to find them for more than 2 years.

After pulling the trundle out from under the crib, I saw what can only be described as the binkie graveyard.

Now that Tommy rolls we ditched the bumpers, and apparently he's been throwing the binkies overboard in the night. I found 3 good binkies and 1 that he doesn't like under there......

Doesn't it seem like a binkie would make a great character for a Disney movie? And under the crib a great setting?

Just sayin'.

Monday, June 7, 2010

It's 9:45 AM

It's 9:45am and so far today I have:

  • "run" 2 miles
  • showered
  • got dressed
  • made the bed
  • made and cleaned up breakfast for 3
  • changed
  • cleaned up after 3 "triple berry puke" incidents (what kind of idiot mom wears adorable white capris while feeding her child triple berry ANYTHING? This kind of idiot mom.)
  • washed/dried/put away 2 loads of laundry
  • washed 1 batch of dishes
  • entertained the little one
  • read 52 "how to save money" blog posts
  • spent 25 minutes on hold with the insurance company
Not a bad morning. 

I figure I can now get away with doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.

Which is really quite likely.

I just got a new season of Monk from my mom.....I'll be back in 16 episodes.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Did you know?

Did you know that a hiking stick should be taller than you? This fact comes from eavesdropping on some dude with his kids on our hike last weekend. It makes sense when I think about it, so I'm taking as fact.

Did you know that I sprained my ankle when I was in first grade jumping on the trampoline in my "Sunday socks" (which, of course, are exceptionally slippery)? Actually it was all my sister's fault (as most things are) because she bounced me and I landed in the springs. I hopped around on one foot for weeks.

Did you know that there are places in the world where it never gets this hot? "so why don't you move there and stop whining?" you ask? Well because I like it here. And I really only hate the first few weeks of summer where they slap you in the face with oppressive suffocating heat. In a few weeks I'll be singing praises to the barbecues, gardens, food, swimming, camping and hiking. But for now I'm just trying to breathe when it's 85 degrees INSIDE MY HOUSE at 10pm.

Did you know that Tommy did a little better at church today? I had him during the 3rd hour, and he was tired, and crabby, and we spent a lot of time walking in the hallway, but there was very little screaming, and mostly just a lot f squirming.

Did you know that they closed I-15 in my American Fork last night? This was in order to roll a 2,000 TON bridge into place. Not to brag or anything, but it doesn't take 4 mammoths to put me in place. And while I'm not jumping out of bed every morning, I certainly don't need 300-and-something wheels to roll me around. I think "more mobile than a bridge" might be worth putting on the next version of my resume.

Did you know that walking around in Lindon, Utah pretty much guarantees you'll see people you know and love? And probably you'll see more like 10 of them. Makes for a lovely Sunday evening.


Have you not heard my baby laugh yet? Well, you should.

*Clearly this video is old....you can tell it was filmed in a happier time because it was cold enough that Josh is wearing a jacket, but warm enough that my baby is naked. If I took the same video today, we'd all be naked**. (Don't count on many pictures for the next few months....)

**And by "naked" I mean "in our swimsuits" because for the next three months we will always be just getting home from, or just getting ready to go to, the pool. Always.

Did you know?

Did you know that a hiking stick should be taller than you? This fact comes from eavesdropping on some dude with his kids on our hike last weekend. It makes sense when I think about it, so I'm taking as fact. *Nevermind I just looked it up and really it should be 6-9 inches above your elbow. So, if you're Thomas that's taller than you, but if you're me it isn't.

Did you know that I sprained my ankle when I was in first grade jumping on the trampoline in my "Sunday socks" (which, of course, are exceptionally slippery)? Actually it was all my sister's fault (as most things are) because she bounced me and I landed in the springs. I hopped around on one foot for weeks.

Did you know that there are places in the world where it never gets this hot? "So why don't you move there and stop whining?" you ask? Well, because I like it here. I just hate the first couple of weeks of summer where they smack you in the face with suffocating heat and make you want to cry every day. After a while I'll be singing praises to barbecues, food, gardens, swimming, hiking and camping. But right now I'm just trying to catch my breathe in my 85 DEGREE house at 10pm.

Did you know that they closed I-15 in American Fork tonight? Yeah, that was because they are pushing over 2,000 TONS of bridge into place. 2,000 TONS. Listen, I've had some heavier moments in my life...but I've never required even one of the four mammoths they have to use to move that thing. Just sayin' "more mobile than a bridge" is probably something that will go on the next version of my resume.

Did you know that Thomas did a bit better in church today? Of course I had him during the 3rd hour, and we wandered the halls for a good chunk of that time, but he did not scream.....I'll take it.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Fighting Back

It's officially summer.

Not a cloud in the sky.
No shade for miles.
Too hot to leave the windows open past 10am.

And it's Saturday.

Not that I can tell. Josh went to work at 8 this morning to do massages, then he got called on some incredibly important Redbox emergency business (Someone had to walk across the parking lot to another Redbox because this one was down! Oh the horror!) and now I'm home alone, working while Tommy naps just like every other day of the week.

And now I'm fighting back.

By watching Chasing Liberty (a movie which Josh, for some unknown reason, does not love), treating myself to homemade snow cone/slurpee goodness, cranking the a/c (for the first time this year) and passing out on the couch as I anxiously await the return of my baby's father, because swimming with him is way better than swimming alone.

Take THAT stupidly hot Saturday!

Friday, June 4, 2010


Clearly I was excited to take Tommy to the pool for the first time.

And because I love Josh so much, I somehow managed to wait 3 WHOLE DAYS after the pool opened until he could come with us.

And it was fantastic.

Josh doesn't love swimming (something about the excruciating pain when his ears are under water....sissy) but I do. And he's a good sport so he goes with me anyway.

But add Tommy to the mix and suddenly Josh's time spent with his head under water significantly decreases. And his joy significantly increases.

A long long time ago in Jr. High, we learned about "correlation is not causation" but I'd be willing to wager that in this case it does.

one cute baby + one cute daddy + one head full of dry hair at the end + one happy mommy = a fantastic swimming experience.

Keep the comments about my farmers tan to yourself. Focus on the adorable child who loves the squeaky fish.

Tommy and Daddy both like it when the heads are out of the water.

Josh even started teaching Tommy to back float already. (Which is funny since I'm still trying to teach Josh to back float.)

But really most of the time he was just chillin' and suckin' on his lips.

Break Dancing

Remember when Thomas took up break dancing? In the 38th week of the reign of the baby? No? That's why we blog. Click here and refresh your memory.

Well apparently he's been working on it, and look what he can do now!

I know it looks like he just face planted and his mom ignored him, but that's not actually what happened.

Well that's sortof what happened.

But after that, he started doing this rocking move where he gets high centered on his big ol belly (anyone else think it's funny when babies have guts like their mothers did when they were pregnant?) and his legs flail about in the air far above his head.

Let's just say that I'm glad nobody took a picture of me when I was high centered on my belly.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


You should check out this dude's stuff (dresses & jewelry). And maybe you can win some for free (if you're lucky).

Then, when you come back here after seeing all the good stuff, you can tell me how much cooler I am since I'm related to the Rieras. William married my cousin, and she's awesome, and I'm pretty sure he's awesome too (you know...because he had the smarts to marry her...)

There. Now do you think I'm cooler than I was?

First word: Dada

Tommy has always babbled. And dadadadada has been part of his babbly-ness.

But I think he's officially saying dada now.

Tommy whispers it to me when he wakes up in the morning. dada da da dad.

He shouts it when he's excited. da da dadadadad!

He babbles it when he's bored. dadadadadadadadadadadadadad.

And when I say it back he looks at me and smiles.

Then I say mama and he laughs right in my face. As in "yeah right. like I'm gonna say that when I can say DADADADADA!!!!!"

The truth is I'm glad he loves his daddy so much. Because I do too.

If my life were Burger King

If life were Burger King and I could really have it my way:
  • Thomas would be just waking up for the day instead of halfway through his first nap.  (I know I know, I can't complain. He's a fantastic sleeper....but napping before some kids are up just makes me want to cry.)
  • Josh would have been home (and awake) for more than 4 hours in the past 3 days. 
  • I wouldn't be avoiding work right now. I'd be happily napping. 
  • My house would have a backyard so I don't have to go to the park to feel the grass in my toes.
  • All that food I baked yesterday (bread, pancakes, cookies, pizza crusts, and squash) would last longer than 2 days and would mean I don't have to bake today. 
  • The dishes from this morning's breakfast would do themselves. 
  • The laundry would always be caught up.
  • It would never EVER be more than 72 degrees outside. And certainly not INside. (sick)
  • There would be a grocery store on that vacant lot that is 1 mile from my house.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tommy learns new tricks

Last week Tommy still couldn't do anything.

Then overnight he learned new tricks.

Most important of the new tricks is that he feeds himself. Sortof.

You know how capable you feel when you are given a magnetic fishing rod to catch as many magnetic fish as possible 8 feet away?

That's about how capable he is with his slobbery hands.

He sticks his arms straight out and clenches and opens his fist while he hovers over the tray covered in pieces of food. When he catches a bite, he tries to get his face to his fist without bending his elbow.

Here's what's got me confused: why is it that everything he touches must immediately enter his mouth, but when his fists are full of food his elbows are suddenly as immobile as the tin man's?

Eventually he shouts and bangs his fist on the tray which is my cue to hold out a food particle between my fingers. That's when he grabs my fist and shoves it in his mouth while simultaneously diving open-mouthed toward the food I'm holding out for him.

After a few bites he catches on and just starts picking up the pieces of food and puts them in his mouth.

Which, of course, makes everybody happy.

Sky Mall Magazine treasures

One of the highlights of spending time on an airplane is SkyMall magazine.

In case you don't get to partake very often, here's what you're missing.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

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