Monday, October 26, 2009

We didn't buy a Kirby vacuum

That lousy no good dirty rotten girl told me that they just wanted to advertise their carpet cleaning services.

I asked her 10 times what the catch was and what I was committing to.

"Nothing." she said.
"This is just the only way we can advertise." she said.
"The only catch is that we'll only do one area of your home." she said.
"I only have to schedule 2 more and I get to go home for the day" she said.

"Fine. Come clean my stairs for free." I said. Like the idiot I really am.

Then I went upstairs to finish getting ready for the day. After all it was almost 1:00 and my little brother was coming over to play in about half an hour.

The salesman came over and started to unpack his gear at the top of my stairs.

"Great." I thought. "I'm sure he needs all this crap to shampoo the carpets.

Then he said. "OK, I'm ready." As if we were supposed to do something.

"Take a seat and get comfortable." he said. I hate it when people offer my own stuff to me. It's my house I'll stand if I want to.

The next 2.5 hours of my life are.....well I'll never get them back. Nothing would stop this guy from doing his full demonstration.

I've been thoroughly educated in the structure of a vacuum. And why all vacuums that aren't Kirby as crap.
I've seen the grime all over my house. And I'm not telling whose side of the mattress pulled more grime.
I've been informed that I'm "literally throwing away carpet by the pound." due to my inadequate vacuum.
I looked at all of the grime and grit.
I've been reminded that "this area will be the little guy's playground before you've even blinked."
I lost half a box of baking soda to the middle of my living room floor.

When he finally started to shampoo the carpet in the hallway, he'd been there for 10 hundred years and my little brother was here with his wife and baby and the man showed no signs of going home soon. So we didn't correct him because I'd hate for him to start all over.

What did we get out of this 2.5 hour extravaganza?

1 clean hallway.
0 clean stairs.
The heebie jeebies.
The knowledge that Sales Guy's Boss is infinitely worse than Sales Guy.
Something to discuss for the next 7 days.


  1. Jason tried selling Kirby vacuums for a I remember him buying a TON of baking soda too. Those were the days. lol

  2. We got sucked into the exact same thing a while back! It was horrible! We now have a no soliciting sign on our front door! However that hasn't stopped people from cornering me in my front yard...I guess I also need a "no soliciting" T-Shirt!

  3. I'm glad I played the mean card and told them no. Sorry you had to deal with that. I think I need to find a no soliciting sign for our house too. Why do they always come to our neighborhood?

  4. I got s clean couch out of a guy once. I can be pretty beasty so the second he was done I was like "I'm leaving, you have 5 more minute." And then I put my coat on and shuffled him out the door.

  5. Good for standing your ground!!! We bought a Kirby vacuum... it's pretty much the most expensive thing we own. I have regretted that decision ever since :)

  6. I had a similar experience with a Rainbow vacuum (looks like a mini R2D2. We actually bought it at the end of the presentation, and then I cried when the lady left, because who has $2000 to buy a vacuum with? Certainly not us!
    I called the lady the next day, she cordially came and picked it back up and said that it was not the first time it has happened. THAT WAS EMBARRASSING!

    The worst part is, I actually really want a rainbow vacuum someday. You know, because I am a sucker and...I know it would just change my life! :)

    (we actually own a Kirby, we traded Nick's sister for our old Playstation 2, 'cause they had bought a newer Kirby. That's right, they owned two! Money to burn I'll tell you what...)

  7. I am SO sorry!!! We had the same thing happen to us in Logan. It was the worst few hours EVER!!!

  8. I'm SO so so so glad Randy didn't let those guys come to our house! BLEH to salesmen!


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