Monday, January 16, 2012

Resolutions for other people

I'm still thinking about making New Year's Resolutions for other people. This might be my new favorite tradition, because I think I'm pretty dang good at it.

Here are my New Year's Resolutions for people I have no control over:

Macey's (the grocery store, not the clothing store): You should resolve to build a store on the empty lot by my house. OK?

Owner of the empty lot by my house: You should resolve to sell that lot for less than the price of a small country so someone, ANYone can by it.

Josh: Put your socks in the hamper so I can stop cussing so much. We're all gonna be embarrassed when Tommy repeats the things he's heard.

Ben & Jerry's: How about a $.99 pint eh?

Tommy: Let's re-learn how to sleep through the night shall we? Waking up between midnight and 3am every night is not cool. John can show you how it's done if you need a lesson....

Hawiian Airlines: Keep that $175 airfare year round for the next 10 years so I can afford to take advantage of this insanely awesome deal sometime.

Running: Wouldn't it be cool if you didn't suck so much? I think you oughtta work on that.

Weather: Listen. At some point you're gonna have to snow. Let's do it now and not in April when everyone will hate you for it.

Little John: Just try to survive. With your brother around it might not be easy....

Who do you wanna make resolutions for?

1 comment:

  1. First: Amen on the Ben & Jerry's. And what is this about Hawaiian Airlines $175 airfare? You're killing me here!

    Just are just a few of mine...

    Carter: Sleep through the night! I'd even be happy with solid 3 hour stretches.

    Amy & Josh: Move to Provo. Preferably next door so that our kids can play together, we can play games together, and I can share all of the fattentingly-delicious treats I've been making with you guys. We may also have to run together after eating said desserts, too.

    Brownies: Start having nutritional value and minimal calories.

    Sherwood (my favorite band): Release an album. Pronto. I'm dying for new music here.


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