Sunday, January 29, 2012

In My Own Little Corner.... my own little chair.

I was recently talking to a woman whose ability to communicate with God is astounding to me. She can receive revelation more clearly than I can read billboards - and it seems to be easy for her. I'm confident this is a skill she practiced and practiced and practiced, (and one I have admittedly not practiced...) but I think she is also naturally good at it. She spends a lot of time (like 30 minutes daily!) praying and listening for answers.

Given my attempts to "meditate" this month, I'm not sure I can ever work my way up to 30 minutes, but I've seen people on The Biggest Loser run marathons so I bet it's possible....

Anyway, she has a special chair in her bedroom. It's HER chair. And everybody in her family knows that when she's in HER chair, they are not to bother her. Nobody else sits in it and it doesn't get used as a trampoline or diving board or wall of a fort. It's a chair she think is comfortable and attractive. But most importantly it's HER chair.

I'm confident she has made significant sacrifices for this to be the case. I'm positive there are days she's too busy, but does it anyway. I'm certain there are times it is impossible for her, but she has made it a priority.

She asked me when/where I spend MY time. Uninterrupted. Quiet. My time.

Short answer? I don't.
Ever. except for the 2 times this month when I have "meditated".
"You don't have to have a whole room you know." she reminded me. "It could be just a chair."
"I live in a 2 bedroom townhouse with 3 boys." I shot back.
"You could spend some time anywhere, it doesn't matter where." she moved on to the "time" issue.
"I have a newborn, a 2-year-old, a husband, a calling and a business." I reminded her. "Time is just one of the things I honestly don't have."
"Even if you have to wake up early and just have a special pillow...." she started.

I'm not sure how that thought ended though, because I sortof tuned out and wrote it off because waking up before my kids means setting the alarm clock for a time that begins with 3 or 4. And I'm simply too tired.

Seriously, I live in a 2 bedroom townhouse.

The kitchen/living/dining/office area is all one big room. (Which I love, but affords ZERO privacy.)
Our bedroom doubles as Josh's office - there's just enough room to walk around the bed.
The boys' room is packed with bed, crib, toys, clothes and other storage.
Technically there IS a seat in the bathroom.....but that's really not about meditation now is it?

As I look around my house, I honestly don't see a space for an extra, special chair.

I reminded myself that her kids are older, understand how to leave people alone, and are not as physically clingy right now. (They are 8 and 13 years old.) She is in a season of her life where 30 minutes alone is a significant sacrifice, but not impossible.

But that idea of a special pillow won't leave my head.

So I'm looking.
For a special pillow.

One that is comfortable and cozy and beautiful. Beautiful matters. Because it's going to be MY pillow. And I simply must love it.
One that can move around my house to whichever room is the quietest when I need it.
One that is large enough to comfortably sit on.
One that is beautiful. Seriously. It matters.
But one that can easily be stored under my bed or behind my couch.
One that won't fall apart after just a year of use.

My requests of you are two.
1) When & where do you spend time alone every day? Am I up in the night for thinking that is a luxury?
2) Show me a floor pillow (or pouf as I recently learned they are called) that you love? Pretty please?


  1. Call me crazy, but I think the bathroom is the best place for meditation/being alone in a small house. You don't actually have to sit on the toilet, you just get to lock the door and nobody asks what you are doing because clearly . . . you are in the bathroom.

    Also, I don't know about floor pillows, but I bought Taege the smookiest memory foam rug ever and that is what I would choose for my "spot."

    This rug:

  2. I love this! I would have had all the exact responses you did while talking with her. I don't spend anytime alone ever, either! Bia is very dependent in so many ways! She goes to sleep when I do and wakes up very shortly after. But it really made me think how much more sane I used to be when I did put aside a good chunk of time every day (or at least every other day) to really pray, contemplate and actually pay attention to my reading of the scriptures. You have helped me set a new goal.

    I don't know exactly what you are looking for in a floor pillow/ pouf. I know I would want this one:

    Hopefully that link actually works. But I just searched for floor pillows on and a lot of stuff came up. Some not so pretty at all, but some looks kinda nice. Again, it depends on what you mean by pretty! haha =o)

  3. How about a regular pillow with a really pretty pillowcase that can be washed? I'll make you one. Love, Aunt Sharon

  4. My vote is for the bathroom, as silly as that sounds. I told my kids they were not allowed to even speak to me through the door unless the house was on fire or someone was bleeding. There were times when I was spending quality moments alone in the bathroom and I could hear the kids gathering ever so quietly in my bedroom, but no one would would make a sound. The moment I came out, I would be bombarded with all kinds of complaints, questions, whines, etc. But at least I got a few minutes to myself (I would read scriptures and do crossword puzzles). Even now that I'm old and have no kids at home, I still find myself doing crossword puzzles in the bathroom!

  5. I would vote the bathroom as well - I know how limited space can get in our oh-so-spacious-2-bedroom-townhome (and I know mine is yet to get smaller when the little one arrives) but even now I usually find my alone time in the bathroom (a bath may not be exactly what you are looking for in regards to scripture study- but I do my best thinking while soaking - it can be your meditation time, 15 min would go by in a flash).

    Those memory foam mats are SUPER soft and you could use that on the bathroom floor with a cute throw pillow for behind your back. Sounds like the perfect spot to me.

    Or you can call your new neighbor friend (me) to watch your kids and get a few minutes alone. :)

  6. I have been trying to do this too. I find that I spend my only free time either practicing, cleaning, reading, or looking at the computer. Meditating almost makes me feel guilty, like I should be doing something else more productive. How I adore the idea of a pouf or pillow.

    For a cheaper one look here:

    For my dream one and more expensive look here:

    What an amazing idea. Good luck and I may try the same thing. Oh and have you tried Yoga? I'm just getting into it and really think that it helps the brain.

  7. I just have to take the moments as they present themselves. When Maren was little I would have to sit in the hall at bedtime. If I didn't sit where she could see me (but Emilie couldn't) she would get out of bed. I started using that 20-30 mins to pray and meditate. I would just sit in the hall and pray while I waited for those kiddos to fall asleep. I also find quiet moments in the car sometimes. Is it bad that I find the best time for family prayer is when all three of them are strapped down in their carseats?

  8. Ok, I don't want to offend anyone, but did that person ever live in a townhome with 4 people? Did she ever have two children in diapers at the same time? Did she need to work after she had her children? (I don't know the answers to these questions- I'm just putting it out there.)

    Here's what I think. To every season there is a time and purpose under Heaven. When you have a two year old and a newborn 30 minutes of focused meditation/study/prayer/ alone time may not be possible every day. AND YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT! Right now you are investing most of your time and energy into caring for and serving your boys. You might need to count that as your main religious/spiritual thing for now. I know that may not be exactly what you want to hear. I just think that having kids is such a huge sacrifice. It is nothing but service, service, service. And God is happy about that- I think it is enough.

    I'm not saying that you shouldn't pray and read your scriptures! I'm saying that you shouldn't feel bad if you can't do it in the way that you want, or for as long as you want. Time for that will come later.

    Good luck!

  9. How wise you are to try to find some way to strengthen your Spirit each day. Perhaps it will be through "mo' sunshine."


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