Friday, January 27, 2012

Tough Call

There are a lot of parenting decisions that are really easy for me to make. I'm fairly confident in the things I want my kids to learn.

But some are really hard for me.

Yesterday was really rough for Tommy. There is a little girl in our neighborhood that Tommy just can't seem to get along with. Any toy she has, he must have immediately. And he screams and takes it from her and then throws an enormous fit. I always go over to him and we talk about sharing, say we're sorry, and dry the tears. She's a sweet girl (having some sharing problems of her own) and I really like her. Her mom is a fantastic person and I lover her too! Her mom always joins in with the "let's not fight over this toy and learn to share" action. But I simply can't understand why Tommy picks on her. There are 5 other people in the room and he's fine with all of them but he picks on HER.

When he does this with other people I can usually talk him through it, everybody apologizes and goes on their way, but for some reason he doesn't calm down with her. He screams and flails and freaks out. And sniffles and sobs and shouts his way through an apology.

I said something to her mom about how I was sorry he was picking on her in an attempt to let her know that I knew he was being unreasonable but I didn't know what to do about it. Now I keep going over and over what I said and I hope it didn't come out wrong and sound like my kid hates her kid. I'm hoping I didn't stick my foot in my mouth (which I usually do...chances aren't really in my favor here) and I hope she wasn't hurt.

Why does he do this?
And how do I find out when he simply lacks the vocabulary to explain?
And what am I supposed to say to him about it?
And what am I supposed to say to my friend about it?

Go ahead experienced and wise people, advise me.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, I don't know who the other person is. If this little girl has any older siblings, then I can pretty much guarantee you that not only does her mom not really care, but she probably hasn't even really noticed either. :)

    First children are much more fussed over, and have mamma bear's undivided attention. But I really like it that you made a point of letting the other mom know that you are trying to stop the behavior. I think that is pretty much all you can do.

    As moms we have ALL had MANY moments where our children do not act the way that we want them to. I think that any other mom would be understanding of that.


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