I'll be honest, I wasn't sure we'd all survive to this stage of Little John's life - but we have. All of us. I still live with 3 (sometimes smelly, sometimes sweet) boys. So...that's the good news.
The other good news is that John is increasingly adorable daily.
For real. I love him.
Because he giggles for me. And lets me munch his cheeks.
Because he still sleeps all night long (please don't hate me...) and doesn't hate the car.
Because he looks oh so handsome in his big brother's hand-me-downs.
Because his eyes are still blue. (Bless whichever ancestor passed on those beautiful (albeit temporary) eyes.)
It's been a rough 4 months, but I've been saying for the last 2 months that I'm feeling like I'm coming out of the "baby fog". (I said that to someone and they said "a good euphemism for postpartum depression" and it sortof freaked me out. Whatever, I've been saying it's over for a while, but every time I say it I think "OK NOW I feel better...") I like to think it's actually true now, but I suppose if you ask me again in 2 months I might have a different answer.
John is lovely and adorable and I want nothing more than to be his mom, but holy Moses can he cry. And barf (so I call him Sir-Barfs-A-Lot and Mr. McBarferson). It breaks my heart. And my brain. What am I doing wrong?!?!
I'm still nursing (go ahead and applaud...I'll wait.) and he has an additional 4 ounce bottle every time I feed him. I tell Josh at least once a week that "I think my milk is going away" and Josh rolls his eyes and says OK.
John still likes rolling front to back but not back to front. (Thank goodness!) And frankly he isn't given a lot of opportunities to work on that skill because when I set him down he cries. So mostly he gets carried around and sleeps.
He has just started grabbing things, but still smacks himself in the face with the stuff in his hand if he gets too excited. Today after John had finished eating and I took the bottle away, he used both hands to grab the bottle back and shoved it directly into his mouth. A little bit of me thinks it was a mistake, but a bigger bit of me thinks my baby is a genius.
He also just started lip sucking. Remember when Tommy was a lip-sucker? I'll remind you.
Tommy:
John:
Somehow John has captured the heart of his older brother. Tommy has a minor meltdown anytime someone (other than mom and dad) gets near "MY JOHNNY!!!"
There is exactly one exception to this rule. And that is for Cousin Lucy. Lucy is welcome to touch and love and hold hands with Johnny anytime she wants simply because she loves him SO much that nobody (not even Tommy) can stop it. Lucy is going to have her own baby brother soon, but until he comes, she is totally whooped over John.
It's odd how much I love this boy - or maybe it's completely normal. Every time he smiles at me I'm convinced I've never loved anybody so much. And then I remember his brother's smile, and his daddy's smile, and I remember that I love(d) them that much too. But then the screaming starts and I'm fairly confident that I've never been driven so insane in my life either. So....there's that.
Laughed out loud when you typed Josh instead of John. I've kind of been waiting for it to happen, actually.
ReplyDeleteBut, yes, Josh sure is bright to get that bottle back in his mouth—what a big boy! ;) If John could do it I'd be proud of him, too.
And I'm glad you're coming out of the fog. I think baby fog and PPD are different. PPD makes you do crazy stuff like park your van on the side of the highway and run away from your children (like my sister did) or try to off yourself (like my sister did) or plan your husband's funeral (like one of my YW leaders did). Baby fog makes you put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard and cry if you laugh too long.
See? Completely different.
Or maybe the fog is just a mild form of PPD...
Bah! It only took 4 months! (again, I'll wait for the applause....) :D OK I fixed it so you might be the only one who saw it. Can we call that baby fog?
DeleteOooh! You can reply to comments now? That's fancy.
DeleteWe'll call it baby fog. :)
But is it still okay if it made me laugh?
Replying is cool huh? I wondered if it would send you a notification of some sort... I totally laughed when you pointed it out - so yeah. Definitely OK if you laughed too. :D
DeleteI'm sure you're not doing anything "wrong" and you're a great mommy.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to share (completely understanding that every kid is different): The most liberating moment for me as a nursing mother of a super-spitter was when I told my pediatrician that she spits up all the time, and he told me to just feed her less. So instead of trying to feed her forever and ever like they always recommend, I quit when she quit (which was after like 5 minutes), and she quit spitting up (and kept growing) and I quit spending so long nursing. It was amazing.
That is a beautiful thing! We've tried feeding him a bit less - and he usually screams and screams afterward, which makes me think he wasn't really done. But it's been a while since I tried that, so maybe I'll give it a shot again. :D
DeleteI know what you mean by "coming out of the fog". You'll probably be "coming out" for the next year if you're experience is anything like mine. But it must be a beautiful thing to have a four month old that has been sleeping through the night for several months already, so, maybe your fog will only last another six months for you. :)
ReplyDeleteYou have very handsome, adorable children with beautiful eyes and smiles.