Friday, December 3, 2010

Primary Care Giver

Sometimes I wonder what they would think if all the people who are kind enough to watch my child on a semi-regular and all-too-frequent basis, realized how often someone other than me or Josh has Tommy.  I make an effort to spread them out enough that no one person thinks "she's NEVER home with her child where she belongs!" but if you put all of those people in one room I wonder what they'd say.

"You had him Tuesday night? I had him Tuesday morning!"
"And I hate him Wednesday afternoon!"
"Does she ever take care of her own child?"

Fortunately these are people who are kind and supportive and not judgmental, so I'm sure they wouldn't hate me for it, but I wonder if they'd be surprised.

But then I realize that most of the time (defined: more than 50%) I'm home with Tommy. He knows who I am better than anybody else. I change more diapers and prepare more meals. I know his favorite (and least-favorite) things.

So even though I feel like I spend all my time trying to figure out who will take him next, I realize that if I were filling out a form, the only reasonable response to the primary care giver question is me!

And there were a lot of days that I longed to be able to say just that.

So on the days I hate to drop my child off with someone else, and the days that I hate that I don't get to spend my whole day momming, and the days that I simply don't think it's fair that I have other responsibilities, and even the days that I wish Josh would be the mom for a while, it's good to remember how much I love being a mom.

And that most of the time, I get to do just that.


  1. You are very inspiring! I love that you love being a mom!

  2. Oh man...this is my life!! Thank you for writing this. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that doesn't always get to be with their kid ALL the time. I often times feel guilty about it...but you are certainly right...we ARE the primary care givers and their MOM!! You are the best mom ever!

  3. Terrific post! It's hard being a mother and being not getting eaten alive by guilt.
    I stayed home with my children, and honestly, if I could do it again, I wouldn't. I think I would have been a much better mother if I had had something for me. Or at least a place to go to be with other adults.


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