Monday, August 27, 2012

Basic People Skills

When a baby comes into your life they know nothing. Literally nothing.

So you spend all of your time teaching them to survive. Eat. Sleep. Breath.

Then (if you're me) you have another baby and suddenly your "baby" is very capable and very smart and hardly needs you for anything except a ride to the store where he chooses what to buy and flirts with the cashier.

But every now and then you realize that you are still (supposed to be) teaching them everything they need to know.

Like basic BASIC people skills.

"We do not lick people's eyes."

"We do not smother our brothers with blankets. Or our hands. Or our belly buttons."

"We do not fling our poop anywhere. ever. at all. Not even outside."

"We do not wipe boogers on our faces."

"We say please and thank you."

"We say no thanks instead of screaming like a banshee and running away."

"We never never NEVER run over people with fire trucks."

"We sometimes offer to let our guests choose the show instead of forcing them to watch Blue's Clues all the time."

This parenting business, it's not easy.

*In other people skills news: we do not show potential renters our home if it contains something disgusting. Got it?


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