Friday, June 11, 2010

Showering: A Big Commitment

The thing about showering if you're a woman is that it's much much more than just plain showering. Josh (a man) can "just jump in the shower real quick" and be ready to walk out the door 15 minutes later. The shower is the longest part of the Getting Ready process for him.

If you make a woman shower, she'll also have to dry off.
When she's drying off she'll realize how dry her skin is and need some lotion.
When she gets to the part of applying lotion to her face she'll realize that she really should put on makeup.
But before applying makeup, she has to dry her hair. (So the hairdryer won't melt the makeup.)
While drying her hair, she realizes that the brush needs to be cleaned.
While cleaning the brush she notices the garbage can has not been emptied.
While taking out that teeny tiny bathroom garbage she may as well get the other garbage cans.
But before taking out the garbage she has to finish cleaning the kitchen to make sure there isn't anything else to throw away.
This is when she remembers that she hasn't had breakfast.
While eating her cereal she reads some blogs and checks her e-mail which may trigger any number of "just real quick" tasks.
By noon she should make it back to the bathroom to finish putting on her makeup.
But by then it's time to go swimming, and really.....what's the point of makeup in the pool?
And before she knows it, the babe is napping, she's been home from the pool for 1/2 hour and is back in the shower again.

Using Wednesday as an example, I got up and went running at 6:30. You should always shower after you run.
Then I went for a walk with a friend at noon. And when you walk at noon and it's (say it with me class.....) "9 million degrees outside!" you should really shower after you walk.
But after Thomas wakes up from his nap at 3 or 4 we're going to go swimming. And every knows you have to shower IMMEDIATELY after swimming or your hair will turn green.

So the problem is that if I showered every time I should, that would be 3 times/day easily. And since each shower leads to a 4 hour string of activity, in theory I could spend 12 hours a day just showering.

And if I spent 12 hours/day showering, when would I have time to get dirty?


  1. So I really could comment on every single one of your posts. I try not to cause that would probably be annoying to you, but this one was too good to pass up. You crack me up. And probably you should write a book. I can just imagine the illustrations for it. Every woman would want to buy it so that when the husband says "why can't you ever be ready on time?" she could just point to the book and make him bite his tongue! HAHA I love it!

  2. You forgot the part about not being able to get everything off the table unless you get your glasses so you can see it all. But you took those off to get in the shower. Where did you take them off? It would be much easier to find the glasses IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE!

  3. Amen sister...amen.

    I hate the days where I have to shower AND wash my hair because then my routine is just made 2 hours longer.

    Oh...and look...I'm writing a comment...from my computer at work. We got a new modum and now nothing crashes! It's a happy day!

  4. You make me laugh all the time! I love this post.

  5. I love you. Kind of a lot. And I'm pretty sure I went through this exact thing this morning, only throw in feeding & changing the baby about three times along with everything else!

  6. I pretty much only shower at night. I don't trust my kids not to be naughty during the time it would take to shower and dry my hair!

  7. I hear ya. Add to that the amount of time it takes to get 3 boys to this level of cleanliness and you will understand why I really would prefer to be a hermit. A very dirty hermit.

  8. You are totally right!! You're awesome :)

  9. And I hope everyone who has ever knocked on my door past noon but still not showered will read this post and know that I wasn't just home doing nothing all morning.


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