Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fully Formed (or The One Where I Turn 26)

A few weeks ago my older sister and I had a loooong talk about life. I may or may not have been having a major breakdown (to the tune of 5 hours of "what am I supposed to do with my life") and at the very end of our talk, I realized that my biggest problem was simply that I had no idea what I wanted.

I look at two completely opposite people living their lives in opposite ways and I think "they have got it all together, THAT is what I want to live like." But then I realize that my life simply cannot look like both of theirs. The bottom line is that I don't know what kind of person and mom I want to be. After unloading all of this to her, she asked me how old I was.
She nodded thoughtfully (she's going to school to be a therapist, so she did that nod) and said "good. So....by the end of the year maybe your brain will be fully formed and you'll know more about what you want."

That's right friends, it isn't my fault I'm a complete disaster, it's because this brain of mine simply isn't finished forming.  So, today I am celebrating my brain.

Monday was such a fantastic day that I could hardly wait for today to come. I felt so great that I was certain it would last at least 24 hours because usually you don't go from feeling great to wishing you were dead in just a few hours.

Josh's mom was taking my child to give me a day off, I had lunch plans with a friend and had all kinds of ideas of things I wanted to do all day long. (Including (a) drive somewhere without a carseat, (b) get out craft supplies and paper and leave them out because when I'm done because they won't be eaten, and (c) park far away from where I'm going, because not lugging around the babe makes that reasonable.)

But just after midnight, my brain must have decided to revolt its fully formed self. Because that's when the worst sick-day of this pregnancy kicked in. I was up at least every 45 minutes and although my stomach was totally empty by 1am, I convulsed and heaved every time I woke up.

Since Josh took Tommy to his mom's house, I tried to sleep in, but my up-every-45-minutes schedule stuck with me clear until 10am. That's when I finally moved out to the couch which made absolutely no difference at all.

There could not have a been a better day for me to be childless because I truly don't know what I would've done with Tommy all day here. He would have been neglected thats for sure.

So although I have a lot to celebrate today, I'm watching Ellen and Disney movies in my bathrobe, feasting on a Saltine cracker and nearly 2 ounces of 7-up.

Odd, but it still seems like a very happy birthday what with all the facebook birthday wishes, the ridiculously generous gifts and the incredible friends and family I'm so lucky to have.

Sometimes people ask if I'm really as sick as I claim to be - and here's the honest to goodness truth. Sometimes I am. I have good days and bad days (yesterday I only puked one time! = good day!) but when I claim to have spent my entire day in the bathroom, I'm not lying. And when I claim to have been full of energy and productive, I'm not lying. So yes....and no.


  1. that is the pitts amy! not fair at all. i'm so sorry.

    can tommy come play tomorrow? seriously, can i come get him and bring him here please??

  2. Happy birthday! Bummer about feeling lousy, but at least it is for a good cause!

  3. Happy Birthday again Amy. I am so sorry you had a miserable day, but I am glad you got some alone time to rest and relax. I hope tomorrow will be a better day sick wise.

  4. So sorry you were sick. :( Hope you can feel better tomorrow. Love ya!

  5. So sorry you were sick on your birthday, but think of what a fantastic gift that little person growing inside you will be! That being said, pregnancy is not always fun and games. I hope you get feeling well soon! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    PS- I have breakdowns about not knowing what I want to do with my life ALL THE TIME. So rest assured, you are SO not alone.

  6. Ugh, not a fun birthday! So sorry! But...next time you should borrow "the Tammy movies" from me! They are silly old movies. Your post title reminded me of them because she always says things like, "I AM a woman fully growed". Random. Hope you are feeling better today!

  7. That is an awful birthday. I'm sorry you were sick!! I am glad to know that my brain isn't fully formed yet and I don't have to know for awhile...

  8. I have the same problem...not the barfing sick one but the what do I do with my life one. AND this year I turn 29! So I have no excuse...my brain is formed.

    P.S. Thanks for writing such an awesome blog. I love reading it!

  9. See you are amazing!! even if your brain is not fully formed. If I ever puked like that when I was pregnant EVER, I would only have one kid!!! I puked 23 times in 10 hours when I was 7 and decided I would never puke again. That has almost been the case.


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