Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Every year my parents have the world's biggest garden. Even though there are only 2 of them at home now, they still plant the whole area - and it produces A LOT of good food. Then they share with anybody who needs/wants it. This includes: us (all of their kids), probably the kids in their singles ward, and the neighbors who don't actually want a 30 pound zucchini, but they get it anyway. With a poem.
Last summer my mom got a "laminator" and she "laminated" a bunch of squash and froze it. Of course, she shared some with us the last time we were down there.
She never EVER lets us leave the house without asking what we need. Usually it's in the form of food, all summer it's current fresh produce (tomatoes, zucchini, corn on the cob, peas, raspberries, cucumbers, and always a "new food" of the year, beet, carrots, purple potatoes, etc.) and the rest of the year it's canned/frozen food from their garden.
When I grow up, I hope I'm as cool as my mom. Now, if I can just figure out a way to grow a garden as good as hers without spending 5 hours/day in the garden all summer like she does.....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Last week when I painted my toenails pink (remember last week? When it was still Spring? And I had to paint my toenails because people could see them peaking out from cute sandals? Yeah, me too.) Baby Egbert didn't even HAVE toenails. Just webbed....flippers .
This week, if Baby Egbert is a girl, (and Babyzone's chinese something thinks it is) we could totally have our first mani/pedi party. Er....I could paint my toenails and she (if she's a she) could suck on hers.... Still, we're more alike than we've ever been.
Other developments that have me ooohing and ahhhing over the small creature who so suddenly took over our lives include:
- A new less-clingy Baby Egbert. While Baby still doesn't want me to attend any major meetings, I have clearly won the "I'm going to work, and you're coming with me" fight for now. Baby has given up most vomit sessions during working hours, which is a much bigger relief than you think.
- Baby Egbert looks less like a monster, and more like a tiny Baby. Still has a bit of a Klingon forehead...but we're working on that.
- Swallowing. I'm not really sure why this is a major development, but it is. So, Baby Sweetheart, once you exit the womb, you and I can paint our nails and swap pregnancy stories over a nice tall glass of smoothie. You're gonna like smoothies right?
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in those things, but I think my underdog loving might go a little farther than most.
I kinda hope this snow cover lasts through the day....I know there's not a lot of chance of all 3 inches staying on the lawn, especially not when the sun is bursting through the clouds like it is right now, but I'm still rooting (is that the right way to spell it?) for it.
However, I also hope the flowers survive this crazy spring snow-storm.
Which underdog am I hoping really wins? I'm torn.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Just before we went to the Dr. and I knew I was starting on the long long road of figuring out what was wrong with me, I finally decided to just bite the bullet and acknowledge that this whole process would take a while.
Boom! 45 days later, I have no use for these babies.
PS You should also know it's my fault it snowed this week. Last weekend I washed my car. The one that's been sitting in the garage for more than 3 months. What was I thinking?
PPS I just read the "Murph" link, just to clarify, I don't think getting pregnant was something that "went wrong"....I think my buying tampons at Costco was wrong. Also I probably stood in the longest line there was to check out - I always do that.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Speaking of funerals for dogs, I watched Marley & Me last night, and I bawled my eyes out and loved every second of it. If you’re sensitive about wordly things (mom…..) don’t watch it, because it is a movie made in 2009 and it has “that one scene”…..and plenty of innuendos….but if you’re dead inside and have no concept of what is inappropriate and what isn’t because you were raised in the same hooligan generation I was, I recommend it. I laughed, and cried, and fell in love with the characters. I’m a fan.
It’s funny how different life is right now than it was 6 months ago.
I used to spend every Sunday crying because everybody in the ward has adorable perfect well behaved children and I couldn’t take any of them home with me. Now I spend every day crying because I am overwhelmed at the thought of being a mother, I’m scared I won’t be good enough, and I just plain don’t feel good. When I’m not crying because of the slew of negative emotions, I’m crying because of how lucky I am. Because I am so blessed to be surrounded by good people, because our infertility problems really weren’t that bad, and because I can’t believe this is (finally) actually happening for us. Note to self: Buy stock in Kleenex…..
I used to come home from work, glance through the mail, find something for dinner, hang out with Josh, play games, do laundry, clean up, watch a movie, play more games, read, and finally fall asleep on the couch or the love sac around 11:30 or 12:00. Now I spend my ride home from work puking (on one hand I’m thankful for Ziploc bags….on the other I know I’ll never be able to store anything in a gallon sized Ziploc bag again because everything looks like vomit….), I run up the stairs, crying and puking, I try to choke down some water so I won’t get too dehydrated, I sit on the chair wrapped up in a blanket whimpering and crying while Josh does the dishes, and the laundry, and scrounges up dinner for himself and asks if anything sounds good to me. I sit around asking him for things and he provides it pretty much every time. I turn on a movie around 6:00 and struggle to keep my eyes open through the whole thing. I pause it every 20 minutes or so while I run to the bathroom and try to puke up my remaining internal organs. Apparently they’re attached…..to something…. I get my laptop and check my e-mail, blogs, and facebook while watching the movie. I spend 20 minutes reading about my baby and how I’m not the only sick pregnant lady in the world (I just like knowing I’m not alone….and that I’m relatively normal). By 9:00 I drag my lazy butt into bed and go to sleep for real.
I used to wake up to my alarm in the morning, I’d snooze it 3 or 4 times and try my hardest to tone it out so I didn’t actually have to get out of bed. Now I wake up for no apparent reason at 3am. And at 3:30. And at 4:30, 5:00, and 6:00. I take a shower and crawl back in bed as soon as possible. Because after 6am I can finally sleep soundly. What do we call that again? Oh yes. Irony. Cruel irony.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
- We live close to family. That means today Josh is 4-wheeling at the sand dunes, and I'm going to lunch with my sister.
- There are people who can (and will) entertain Josh while I am "great with child" and don't feel like playing basketball, going 4-wheeling or doing anything that takes me more than 10 feet away from indoor plumbing.
- I've had 2 meals so far today and have not yet puked, even a little.
- I got to spend my morning cleaning and watching my version of Saturday Morning Cartoons.
- We turned off our heat a week ago and our house has been the perfect temperature since.
I ordered pizza so it would meet us just as we got home from work. I was starving, and it was a good choice for dinner. So, dinner was eaten and cleaned up by like 6:00.
I got comfy on the love sac by the open window and curled up to finish watching Bolt (cute movie by the way) and pretty much immediately fell asleep. I'm guessing I was out by 6:30.
I woke up for the last 5 minutes of the movie (which is how I know it was cute, I always judge a movie by it's ending anyway.) and again after the 934th time the menu played it's little 5 second soundtrack.
I looked out the window and thought about what a beautiful night it was, the cool air coming in through the window smelled good (really! even out here!) and I considered that we should probably go for a walk instead of wasting this beautiful day.
Then I rolled over and fell back asleep.
That's why I know my house is scary at 3am.
By nature I'm a sleeper inner and I like it. But when I've already been asleep for 9 hours, and all the windows in the house are open, and my neighbors (not the great ones) are having some mondo fight (which apparently requires the F word about a thousand times) in their driveway "Well #$*&# I'll just leave you #$^@ here then! #$&^#% that!" I'm bound to wake up.
Once they revved their engine and tore off into the night, I started hearing every other sound my house makes at 3am.
The wind blows my curtains, which bump against the papers on my hope chest and it sounds like someone is RIGHT THERE. The stairs creak when nobody is on them. Josh snores - but only once every 28 breaths (yes, I counted) and it sounds like someone is suffocating him. Birds chirp, but not in the "birds chirping, sun shining" kind of way, more in the "I'm creepy and I will kill you" kind of way. Cars drive on Legacy going 2 miles an hour, which clearly means they're stalking someone. And our other neighbors (the incredibly nice ones) open their garage door. OK probably because she's a nurse and nurses work weird hours and she was probably just leaving for the day...but still! It's creepy!
Let's just say it was a good thing I'm too chicken to get out of bed (remember, there's a guy standing RIGHT THERE rustling papers!) and call the police about all the people who are trying to kill me in the middle of the night.
This morning things look a lot better. Birds chirping, sun thinking about shining. Cool breeze blowing the curtains and softly floating back down. Things really do always look better in the morning.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
- Morally wrong. You can’t just disregard somebody’s comments. If you wanna leave your own, get your own card! You don’t get to say your comments are more important than somebody else’s.
- Totally normal and justified. If they wanted the comment to be read, they should have put it in the “place comments here” box. Clearly they didn’t care if anybody read it or not.
- Neither. You’re both crazy because everybody knows that the bottom of that box is a shredder anyway. And nobody cares.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday I went to the temple (for the first time in months...) and it was fantastic. It was good to see everyone again, and to feel like I had something to offer instead of just sitting around the house all day with the garbage can in my face. I love feeling productive.
Saturday night we had a pizza party with the Marshes, which is always fun. We played games, we ate pitza, we hung out with Ryann and went looking for the pot of gold the leprechaun stole. My sister is so dang cool.
Sunday we went to church with the Marshes and spent the rest of the day with my parents which was really fantastic. My mom even forgot to make the pilaf, which meant I got mashed potatoes and I was one happy girl.
All in all, we had a fantastic weekend. I felt much better than normal, and we were surrounded by my family, who I love. How could it possibly get better than that?
I've spent the past 2 days at home in bed because the combination of constant (and this is new: uncontrollable) puking, and crazy strong dizzy spells had me convinced I'd be no good at work anyway. But it's not like Jen would be able to find someone with zero notice, so I went anyway. She probably would've been happier if I'd called in sick and she did it a capella.
It was Relief Society, so there was dinner.
Dinner was first.
I was hungry. And at a table full of people eating. So, I ate.
Toward the end of dinner, I sat in my chair all awkwardly really needing to just go puke my guts out, but not sure what the schedule was. When they stood up and announced that we were first, I figured I'd make it through the song, then run for the bathroom and be just fine.
Well...I only kinda made it through the song - poor Jen. She has this incredible voice, but I was so distracting with my wrong notes and banging on the high keys (I blame the electric piano. I have NO idea how to make the high notes not sound so loud, I promise I wasn't banging on the keys!) that probably nobody even noticed how great she was. The worst part is I really thought I was gonna vomit all over the whole thing right in the middle. I should't have eaten anything, but I felt dumb not having anything, plus I was hungry. My mistake. I knew better.
Immediately after the song, instead of going back to my seat, I bolted to the bathroom where I was finally relieved of holding actual food in my stomach, which is apparently my new pet peeve. I made Josh go back in to grab my purse and take me home early.
What am I thankful for? Nobody but me saw me puke. Jen didn't yell at me and storm out saying "I can't work in these conditions!" (she's nice like that.) Josh had volunteered to serve dinner for the event, which means he was there to rescue me and bring me home early.
Still, it's embarrassing to have no control over yourself, and to ruin somebody else's talent. Sorry Jen!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
A package of Saltine’s from Aundrea – I swear she hears more of my whining than anybody….even Josh. But she still loves me AND takes care of me.
Elder Perry called today. As he was about to hang up he very cheerfully said “Thanks, it’s great to have you around!” I’m pretty sure that’s a standard farewell for him, but he can pull it off because he is just so dang pleasant to talk to! How you could you not believe this face? I don't care if he's said to to every person he's spoken with in the past 50 years, I still believe him. It is good to have me around.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
There's just something un-glamorous about puking your guts out in a public restroom, then brushing your teeth in warm hand washing water and walking in late to the morning meeting because of it. Maybe it's the kneeling on the hard floor in a stall. Maybe it's the fact that someone might walk in any moment. Maybe it's the extra time spent trying to trick the sensor into flushing. Maybe it's that I can't lay down on the cold tile to cool off my face, or that I actually used one of those stiff paper towels to wipe off my face afterward. No matter what the reason, I think not the best way to start the day.
On the plus side, my mom feels much better about how the pregnancy is going now that I feel like crap. It makes her less nervous because she (and every woman she's ever known) only felt good when she was miscarrying.
People keep suggesting that the prenatals are doing it to me....I might be convinced, I never puke on the days I forget to take them. So....Flinstones chewables, here we come.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I don't care if I never eat no-bake cookies again. I think we're gonna be just fine.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Every time we attended a seminar about emotions, the older women in the room would look at us and say “if only I had the opportunity to do something like this when we were just starting out, we could’ve saved ourselves so much heartache! You two are so much better off than we were.” Before people started saying that to us, we already considered our relationship to be strong. We felt very comfortable with each other and we felt good about where we were going as a couple. When people said things like this to us, our heads grew bigger and bigger. We knew we were the greatest couple ever, and that we could handle anything that came our way. We also knew we were WAY better off than 99% of the couples in the world.
We took a Marriage Prep class at Institute together. That means we talked about all the stuff they tell you to talk about. Expectations, gender roles, child rearing, family planning, how to spend Sundays and Holidays, which way you put on the toilet paper, whether or not General Conference was a vacation weekend. You know, the important stuff.
Immediately after getting married, every time we went over to Josh’s parents his dad would ask about the things we were learning about each other. I think he just liked to laugh at us. I quickly learned these conversations were more fun if we avoided talking about the serious differences and talked about things that really were funny. “Josh uses my hand towel to wipe off his toothpastey mouth when he brushes his teeth!” “He wants to be asleep by 10:00 Every. Single. Night.” We laughed over these trivial things, knowing that if that was the worst of it, we’d be just fine.
However, yesterday I learned how serious our differences could get. I had no idea what I was in for, and I don’t know how we’ve been married for 2 ½ years without knowing about this. I’m a little nervous for what this means to our relationship….a little uncomfortable with the things I’ve just learned about my husband.
What’s a girl to do? Why wasn’t this question on the Marriage Prep checklist? How has this not come up? Can we really spend eternity together, no-bake-cookie-less?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I apologize if that was you, it's not because we don't love you, it's just that you looked like SUCH a dork!