Josh & Am Aren't Lame.

I wish we were a reality tv show...only the title of the show would need some help, "lame" and "Am" were the best rhyme I could think of....it's late....or it's 9pm and I just think it's late. Whatever.

If we were a reality tv show, I wouldn't have had to take 62 pictures to get this one.

And you would already know how blue his eyes are and not have to rely on this photo to prove it.

And all of the sweet moments of my life would be well documented.
I'd have video of our family nap on Sunday. Because who doesn't want to watch video of a nap?
I'd have evidence that Josh makes me laugh every single day.
I could show off that I've made my meal plan for the month of December and it's only the 23rd of November.
People would be impressed when I do things like....grocery shopping.
I'd never think "oh dang! I forgot my camera!" or "hold that face for just 2 more seconds little one." or "stupid flash." because the professionals would be in charge of all photo ops.
And maybe you'd be able to see the 3 LOOONG hairs sticking out of the top of my baby's head in this picture.

Of course then you'd also know that I cried for 10 minutes this morning because I dreamed that Josh cheated on me with the slutty mom from Mean Girls....and that we're eating our dinner in 3 phases tonight because I couldn't manage getting it all done at once.....and that phase 3 will be out of the oven in 9 more minutes.....I can't make this stuff up.

G-thug

In the hospital Josh started calling him "my little thug" because he was wearing a beanie.

And everybody knows beanie = thug.

Cuz how much more hardcore can you get? Really?

Blessing Day

Today Josh blessed Thomas.

Thomas was as beautiful as ever. Sporting booties made by Anonymous and wrapped in a blanket made by Karleen - one of my favorite people in the world.

During the photo shoot he got all serious and thoughtful.

Meanwhile I was just plain happy.

Because this good lookin' family is mine. All mine. For eternity. And that is a blessing that I'll never be able to express my gratitude for.

New loves

Da Babe is starting to love things he's never cared about before.

Like me. I was doing the "getting into the car shuffle" (Did you know that I can't go anywhere without making about 3 trips out to the car? Re-freakin'-diculous!) and as I pulled the car out while the babe was in the carseat just inside I swear he pouted and whimpered because he thought I was leaving without him. I wasn't. I just had to pull the car out so I could close the garage door and run and jump over the sensor while carrying the baby in the carseat. You wish you were my neighbor so you could watch this, don't you? It could be a coincidence that he started crying right then, but I prefer to think he loves me.

Waking up slowly. Gone are the days of waking up from a dead sleep screaming bloody murder. Now he eases into it slowly and gently and is even content for quite some time. If he can keep this up, the 2 of us will get along swimmingly.

Sleeping. We're trying really hard to teach him how to sleep and the past 2 nights he's had at least one 5-hour stretch and has slept for close to 13 hours at night. A very welcome miracle.

Being held like a big baby. Grandma Egbert came to visit last Sunday and held him over her shoulder like this

and he promptly fell asleep and stayed just like that for hours.

Ever since then he hates to be held "like a baby" and much prefers this new version of grown up baby holding.

Tummy time. Maybe "loves it" is too strong - but he doesn't cry. So I'm gonna take it.

Moving. He's never been fond of the "set down a blanket on the floor and leave me there" approach to mothering. But suddenly he's taken a liking to the ability to lay down and stretch out. I guess there's something appealing about the freedom that comes with not being held tight to somebody's body.

The car seat. So far this is the only sure-fire way to make him fall asleep. He gets buckled in and once we're moving (in the stroller or the car) he falls asleep and stays that way until we remove him. That's why he was still in the carseat 2 hours after we got home from the grocery store.

I'm still a 14 year old girl.....and so is Josh

Friday nights aren't quite the same as they used to be.

Our carefree, hop in the car at a moment's notice, fly by the seat of our pants, hanging out with friends, playing games with 10 million pieces that take an hour of undivided attention, go for a midnight hike in November, days are over.

Instead we spent out evening watching Mean Girls because it was on TV (let's hear it for free movies!) and we are both far too lazy to go in search of something farther away than the remote.

Here's the best part - Josh thought the movie was hillarious.

I offered to change it to something else that he'd like more and he just shrugged and said "it's fine if you leave it...whatever." Which we all know is the man-equivalent of "noooo!!!!! I really wanna see what happens! Don't change it, please please please!!"

The way I know he really liked it is that he watched it THROUGH all the commercials. I know. Amazing, right? He wouldn't watch 007 through all the commercials, but Mean Girls?...sign us up!

Of course I enjoyed it too, because I (not so) secretly love 14 year old girl movies. I never grew out of that and I probably never will. Turns out Josh is just growing into it.

To think...I used to just sleep at night

As much as I miss my whole night's sleep....I kindof wonder how a person can do nothing but sleep all night long.

So far tonight I've caught up on The Biggest Loser and The Office (thank you hulu).

I've read A LOT of blogs.

I've fed the babe.

I've rocked the babe.

I've changed the babe.

And I've read some of the sleep book in preparation for actually being allowed to use it.

And it's only 4:30am. I still have 30 minutes before my night is over!

Imagine if I were actually productive during this time - laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, working.....I could take guilt-free naps ALL DAY LONG!

My ward rocks: Parts 456 - 458

Monday morning I went to Mommy and Me Music at my ward's playgroup.

Partly because I'm insane.

Partly because I wanted to prevent myself from being MORE insane.

Partly because I like music.

Partly because I could use a destination for our morning walk.

Mostly because I wanna be in the "cool mommies" club in my ward. If you were ever going to try to get into a club, this is the one I'd suggest. It's better than the one that gets you into Disneyland for free on your birthday. And right up there with Costco.

Thomas slept through the whole thing, I sat on the floor and sang the songs and did the actions anyway. We're definitely going again.

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Tuesday we had a "mingle" activity for not-enrichment.

I went 100% because I felt like it.

I haven't laughed that hard with people that aren't my family since the night Jamie, Chelsea and I got drunk on chocolate milk and put on goofy hats.

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Tonight my visiting teachers came.

I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've been visit-taught in my whole life. That's why I'm still scared of  calling back and saying "yes! please come over and entertain and uplift me!"

Maybe it's because I talk too much and keep them here for 45 minutes.

Who cares, it was a fantastic 45 minutes getting to know these people better and talking about the gospel. I hope they come next month too.

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There's no way we can stay away from church until spring. No possible way.

The bottom dropped out

I heart winter.

I love the snow, the cold, the seeing of the breath, the first snowball, the hot drinks, the fireplaces, the holidays, the lights, the sun going down at 6, the whole thing. I love it all.

But it was really nice to wear clothes like this

and see skies like this

and hang out outdoor pools like this

for a week before driving into this

Friday we left Mesa at 85 degrees and pulled into Fillmore at 23 degrees just 10 hours later.

One things I love about this picture

One thing I love about this picture is that Thomas's pants come up to his armpits and his toes only hit the knees of the britches. But you can't tell so much here.....right?

Bitter disappointment

You know how you go to church and look at all the perfect families and the beautiful mothers with their lipstick and their matching clothes and think "they only do this once a week. It's just because it's Sunday and the other 6 days per week are spent in sweat pants and oversized t-shirts with their mouths full of bonbons."

I'm here to ruin that dream for you. It's not true. 

Those people do it on Sunday, and then the next day they wake up, get their kids dressed up all preppy and cute and have them out the door and at a Ward Playgroup at 10am on Monday.

Sucks huh?

I'm still clinging to the other 5 days a week.

Early to bed and early to rise

Last night Thomas went to bed at 7:30. Josh and I went to bed as soon as possible after that. I don't want any lip from you - it was already dark outside.

I woke up this morning with Thomas at 4. Little did I know he was finished sleeping for the day. 

I tried to get him back to sleep until about 5:30.  

Josh and I have a deal. Pre-5am is still "the middle of the night" and therefore my responsibility. Post-5am is "the wee hours of the morning" and therefore Josh's responsibility. 

So at 5:30 I put him down in his crib, ran across the house so I could jump in bed and pretend I was asleep before Thomas started crying, therefore making it Josh's job to get up with him.

Fortunately Josh was still sleeping, so I didn't have to be very convincing in my fake sleep. A simple "Josh, it's after 5, he's yours" accompanied with the screaming that we love to broadcast through the house with a monitor was all he needed and he was up with the babe. 

I snuggled down into bed to get warm and went back to bed until 8.

I suppose 7:30 to 4am is a good night's sleep. But there's just something inherently wrong with getting up at 4am and not going back to sleep. I refuse to do it.

Friday the 13th.....or why I hate Risk

I went to geek school starting in 5th grade. The program was called A.L.L. and I don't remember what it stood for. Something about Learning.

A lot of people (the cool kids) made fun of us (the geeks) and they called us the "All Lindon Losers". 11 year olds are very creative when they need to be.

But mostly I didn't care because I made some awesome friends from that class. And we (the geeks) all liked us.

Annette, Joanna, and I were totally inseperable. We played together at recess, worked on group projects together, and Annette was my companion for my very first "just drop us off at the mall and pick us up in a few hours" trip. I heard that they had cameras behind the mirrors in clothing store dressing rooms, so I made sure to turn backwards when I was changing so nobody could see my nakeds.

One of our favorite traditions was a sleepover on Friday the 13th. We always got together for the 13th. We watched movies, played games, ate pizza and did normal sleepover stuff.

But the night I remember best is the night we played Risk. Rather they played Risk and I watched....because I'm such a loser.

I had never played before (which was unheard of in a geek class full of 11 year olds who cared about politics and were into strategy-take-over-the-world games) so they kindly agreed to teach me.

I remember struggling to figure out why it mattered if you rolled the red dice or the white ones. I remember not knowing where to invade first and trying to kill off my friends with one little man when they had a whole cannon in their country. I couldn't figure out where all of the countries were (Geography still isn't my strength.) and I couldn't see how they could go clear across the board in one turn. The worst was that I had to decide when I was done with my turn. How was I supposed to know whether I should stop or keep going?

With their careful advice and my uncanny ability to roll 19 1's in a row, I was out after the first hour of the game. The two of them continued to play....for 5 more hours.

I'm sure I was a very gracious loser and didn't pout at all. But I've been pouting ever since. Josh constantly tries to get me to play, I constantly refuse. Maybe that's why we have so many games - so I can distract him from Risk. And that weekend is why I hate Risk.

On the flip side I love Friday the 13th. It's not a real Holiday and it hapens all the time so nobody does anything big, but somehow I was ALWAYS allowed my traditional sleepover "because it's tradition!"

We haven't celebrated Friday the 13th together in years....but I still always think about Annette and Joanna when it comes around.

The man I didn't marry

Tonight we're staying in Fillmore. Which reminds me....


Josh isn't the only boy who proposed to me.

Quinn proposed to me once. At my Grandpa's house. We were taking a walk from the clubhouse in the backyard toward the trampoline where we'd meet up with the rest of our friends. Somewhere near the woodpile he told me he thought it would be really cool if we got married and asked if I'd marry him please.

I think I blushed. And told him yes.

That didn't really pan out for us though. We wanted different things in life. (He wanted to marry me so he could be brothers with his best friend - my little brother. I wanted to marry him because I'd get to wear a big white dress and look like Cinderella.) We changed a lot. We grew up. (He was 7, I was 10.) He moved away and I haven't seen him since.

His mom and dad made him move to Fillmore with his 4 little sisters. By the time he moved we had drifted apart. He and Nate were still best friends (right Nate?) but Quinn fell out of love with me within a week. I think 7-year-olds are fickle and unprepared to make lifetime commitments. Rude. I wondered for a long time if we were really going to get married when we grew up. I don't wonder anymore.

So while I sit in this hotel room in a town with a population of 12 - or something close to that - I can't help but wonder where he is tonight. And what he's doing with his life. And if he even still lives in Fillmore, or if he's proposed to some other girl and has married and moved on with his life. Maybe his mom is still here....

Mom Olympics

Kristina can change the sheets while her twins are jumping on the bed. I can't change my sheets because I'm still in bed.

Nancy can type one-handed....sort of. Something I'm still working on but find completely infuriating because it's so. dang. slow. Plus there's that whole "shift key" thing.

Wendy makes two-day treats. Without neglecting her child. I can't make easymac without neglecting my child. Seriously.

Katy does man jobs. Willingly. No comment.

I can read a book with my eyes closed. At 2am. Actually the only evidence of this would be the "teach your child to sleep" book I borrowed from my mom....judging by the fact that I'm up and "reading" at 2am maybe this isn't really true.....

It seems that motherhood comes with a very unique skill set. So why don't we get our own Olympics?

I bet I could get a gold medal in one-handed bottle making while bouncing a screaming child, holding a binkie in his wide open mouth - (wait. Why do I do that? I just  realized that he's screaming anyway....I could let him scream on the floor and use 2 hands....do other moms know about this??? Must share this mothering tip as a Christmas gift.) and bossing his dad around.

What would your gold medal be for?

Caption Contest

When you take 200 pictures in one day, every once in a while you catch a really great face just crying out for a really funny caption.

So we have a contest on our hands. You all try to come up with a great caption for this photo, and later I'll tell you all what actually triggered this face. We'll all get a good laugh, I promise.

Mesa temple

For yesterday's field trip we went to the Mesa temple grounds and Visitor's Center.

Temples with cactus gardens are cool. Way cool.

We're not sure what this is, but Josh saw a door and of course had to walk through it...just to check.

I love family outings like this.

Thomas: 1 Month

Yesterday Thomas turned 1 month old.

Now that he's all old and mature he doesn't like me blogging about his eating/pooping habits anymore. Kids these days...fortunately sleeping snot sucking are still fair game.

Now that I'm all experienced and wise in the world of mothering I do things like pick up the binkie off the floor, blow it off and put it back in his mouth.

At 1 month, Thomas:
Focuses on my hands.
Naps for 4 hours at a time...just not at night.
Kicks his legs HARD, especially when getting his diaper changed.
Smiles.
Grabs anything near his chest. Fingers, bottles, hands, pacifiers, blankets.....the list goes on.
Has almost outgrown his newborn onesies.
He's still sporting the bishopric hair. And he has the ability to sleep sitting up. All he needs is a tie and a sustaining vote.
Is madly in love with mommy and daddy. Daddy because he holds him over his forearm. Mommy because she's good with the mid-night feedings.

And 1 month later I'm:

Terrified we'll run out of formula or diapers.

Walking 2-3 miles a day (with the blessing and encouragement of Dr. Man).

Amazed at how awake a person can be at 2am.

Making peace with the snot sucker of death.

Loving my new "stay at home mom" status.

Still 100% whooped over this little one.

How could I not be when he's this cute?

Hot air

When we saw these hot air balloons right outside our hotel window, we got a little jealous.

Because this is what Lake Powell looks like from a hot air balloon. Did you know that it's like 160-something miles long? I had no idea.

Then Josh pointed out how unsafe they were because "the air is already hot...how do they even work in Arizona anyway?" And I'd like to say he has a good point, it's like 9 million degrees here. Or 85...same thing.

Grand Canyon

Dear Thomas,

Don't say we never took you anywhere. OK?

One thing I love about hotels

One thing I love about hotels is that we leave to go to church at 10:45 and I come back at 12:30 to a clean room with fresh towels, a made bed, and this view.

Also giant waffle makers....do you think mounting one of those to the 2 ft of available counter space I have would be a wise investment?

15%

It's only 9:30 and I've already seen 15% of the 7 wonders of the world today.

What have YOU done with YOUR morning?

Josh and I tried to name all 7 wonders of the world.....we got to 3.5 - how many do you know?

On traveling with baby

Turns out that Thomas's insistence that the hours between 10am and 6pm are "the middle of the night" is really great for road trips.

Not so great for the night before driving the 2nd half of our journey.....but hey, let's look on the bright side. You know...because I am a natural optimist....ppfffshhthtt .

When you have a baby on a road trip and you're paranoid about people contaminating him with their germs just by looking at him, you learn to appreciate the finer things in life....like drive thrus. And pay at the pump. How did my mother raise 5 children without pay at the pump? How does anyone in Circleville function at all without pay at the pump?

So far Thomas has shared his adorable bare naked butt with about 5 small towns between Payson and Page. And as far as I can tell everybody who lived in these towns was at the gas station while we were there. What is it with small towns and gas stations? I specifically remember hanging out at Walker's all the time back when Lindon was a small town - you know, BW (Before Walmart). But I have no idea why. What did we do there?

When you walk into a hotel carrying a baby in a carseat, everybody looks at you like you've just killed their grandmother right in front of them. I feel like I should wear a sign that says: "Yep, he probably will cry all night long. Sorry about that. Enjoy your vacation." Hey. At least he doesn't pee in their beds...it could be worse.

Being on vacation makes me a much less responsible mother. I'm not telling how many times he spit up all over himself and I just wiped it up with a burp cloth and let him sleep in his own filthy clothes. It's just that I was too tired (and lazy) to dig through the suitcase for a change of clothes. His clothes are so tiny and the suitcase is so big.....and my life is so hard .

In all Josh and I are pleasantly surprised with the success of our roadtrip so far. Here's hoping today goes as smoothly as yesterday.