Monday, December 31, 2007
Josh called today.
"That's it, we're getting a new car. I hate this car, I'm not driving it anymore. We need a truck or an SUV. Something with 4 Wheel Drive. I'm not doing this anymore."
"Calm down. What happened?" I ask, starting to worry. Josh never loses his temper like this.
"I just slid into the curb and the alignment is WAY off and it's shaking like crazy." He says. As calmly as possible, trying not to yell at me.
"Are you OK? Physically OK?" I ask.
"Yes. Just (*&#$^!@%) mad." He refrains from swearing, but I can hear it anyway.
"Take it to the shop and see how much damage we're talking about before we call it quits. Worst case scenario we buy a new car today. I bet we can get a good deal because it's the last day of the month and the last day of the year. We probably need an SUV anyway. So maybe we'll just go buy one. But let's see how much damage first. Can you take it to a shop?"
"mutter mutter grumble grumble. I'll call you when I know something." He grudgingly replies.
Later I found out the whole story. Instead of taking victory road down to Beck street to go North, he took a wrong turn and headed down the neighborhood of death and destruction. The roads hadn't been plowed and they were ice. He was going SLOW (like not even 5 miles an hour) but the roads are SOO steep and slick that he couldn't stop and slammed into the curb.
Fortunately his co-worker rescued him, took him to his meeting, and to the Egbert's house where he was allowed to pick up a car to borrow for a couple of days.
One might say that wrecking 2 cars a year is a lot more than your average person's quota. But I think that it's only fair. Josh drives probably 10-15 times more than the average person. If you figure the Average Number of Hitting Stuff In Cars Incidents (ANHSICI) per hours driven, that means he should have 10-15 times more accidents than your average person per year. So, by this simple formula, 2 wrecks in 1 year is really like 2 wrecks in 10-15 years for your normal person. Not bad. I'd be willing to bed that all of you have done something destructive to your car at least once every 7 years. And that's OK.
For now we're glad to have a car to borrow, and we'll think about replacing my car later. It's all paid for, so we might just buy a new one. But, I HATE to go into more debt than we already have for our house. Plus knowing that we wreck a car twice a year, pretty much means that I don't wanna buy anything too nice. It's just going to get wrecked anyway.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
We could've gotten up early and headed to the church and found out which ward we belong in, but last night after unpacking, we didn't get to sleep until late! Well, it was late for me. Josh was coughing, sneezing, and feeling generally miserable. So, I suggested he take something. Benedryl was the best thing we could find, but I forgot that it makes you sleepy.
Our first meal in our new house was based on stuffing. I wanted stuffing because it sounded good and we had plenty of stovetop. We also had some smoked Turkey (thank you Stephanie's dad) so I heated that up, and boiled some red potatoes. A pretty decent thrown together meal, considering what a disaster my house was! I got it ready and yelled to Josh that dinner was ready. I was unpacking the kitchen, he was unpacking the bedroom and closet. He didn't answer, and come to think of it, I hadn't heard him say anything in a while. I went looking for him, and finally found him.
He was totally passed out in our closet, between the box of clothes and the shoe rack. I tried to wake him up.
"Josh, dinner is ready do you want some?"
"I think you shouldn't sleep right there, why don't you come eat and we'll get the bed ready for you to sleep in?"
"What? What time is it? Are we late?"
He was so out of it! I don't know anyone that can fall asleep like he can. When we were dating he used to fall asleep in the middle of a sentence. I am a night person and would talk to him until all hours of the night, and he'd be in the middle of a story and fall asleep. In person, on the phone, sitting up, standing, anything he's just zonk in the middle of what he was saying.
"Today in school we learned about all the parts of a nucleus. Not just a cell a nuc- Snnnooorrreee"
It amazes me.
After he fell back asleep I finished up the kitchen and finally went to bed. Today there was still so much to do that I couldn't even get ready for church much less spend all day there. And since we didn't know which ward was ours, we just didn't go. We did read an Ensign article and listened to uplifting music, but it just wasn't the same. I guess that's why we go to church every week. It bring a different spirit than anything else does. I am excited to go next week and meet our ward.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
This morning people showed up at my house (thank you all!) and loaded up my entire living room (3-4 full days work to pack up) in a matter of like half an hour. Then they started on the hard stuff. There was so much we couldn't pack up, bed, dresser, desk, and it just needed to be picked up and moved. So, they did that too!
Josh's Reilley dad must have asked and double checked and made sure about 1,000 times that we didn't need him to bring his trailer. I was so sure we would be ready, I had arranged to rent a Uhaul and got the size bigger than I thought we needed, when I looked around our house, I was sure we wouldn't have enough stuff to fill it up. I was wrong.
We didn't have room for the washer and dryer, or for the desk. So, it was 2 trips for us. The first left at like 10:30. I stayed at the old house to pack up the fridge and would meet everyone else there. After I packed the fridge I headed out, got to the new house while everyone was unloading I thought I'd put my food away. Then I opened the fridge and remembered I needed the cleaning stuff. We remembered rags, but somehow the cleaner wasn't with them. So I had to go in search of a store. I thought it would be a great opportunity to get to know the neighborhood. I knew we weren't downtown and we weren't close to much, but I also knew that there had to be a grocery store if I just headed toward the freeway. 25 minutes later I found Shopko WAY up in Bountiful. By Costco. We are nowhere NEAR that. But, I just kept going thinking I had to be close and turning around would be pointless. I could see the freeway! I just couldn't get there....much less under it and to the shopping area. Oh well. On my way back, I learned that someone in Utah still moves stuff via train.
For some reason trains seem really old fashioned to me. I'm sure it was an efficient way to do things back the day, but I just can't think of 1 single thing that requires a train to move. Other than train cars. But, here in North Salt Lake, they use trains. Oh boy do they use trains! On Saturday they use LONG trains. About halfway through I thought I should start counting them, but it was too hard and I kept losing my number. But, I got up to 20 more than once....whatever that means. :)
By the time I got back, everybody was ready to go back for the second load. Josh was driving the Uhaul, and I was trying to put everybody to work. I had both of my mom's on the counter washing cupboards (pretty dang funny sight) and boxes everywhere. I made everybody here pack up and head back to my old house to help me clean there because I wasn't sure where I wanted everything here and I really just wanted to do it myself.
We all went back to the old house and my dad and brother Randy had moved all of the heavy furniture up from downstairs and we all got to work cleaning. People scrubbing every nook and cranny! I guarantee that the house was cleaner than when they left it.
I kept telling my moms that "it was that way when we got here - don't worry about it." it kindof became a joke. "I promise, that dust on the counter was here when we moved in, it's not ours, don't clean it! It's somebody else's dust." While I realize that's rediculous, I really didn't feel the need to deep clean, the pipes under the sink, inside the cupboard you can't even get to, under the big green couch, some places I really thought we could've left. I guess that's why I'm an obnoxious 20 year old, and my dear sweet moms aren't. They took care of it all. They are amazing and kind and wonderful and cleaned things that would've made me lose my lunch!
Now we're just getting home and I have boxes everywhere! I guess I'd better get to it, I'd love to be able to sleep in a relatively clean house tonight. My goal is to have the kitchen done, the bedroom clean enough to walk through, and the remaining boxes in their correct rooms. Wish me luck!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Tonight we have 1 more family Christmas party (his family has had 5 so far this season, and we're missing 1 this afternoon before the 1 tonight - 7 total, they're insane!) and then we'll go home and shower and pack up the real last minute things we need and we'll be ready to move bright and early. Wow. That's all I have to say about that! I can't believe it's really here, AND I'm so excited to get moved! It's a VERY happy day for me.
When Gabe gave me the news, he told me that only for me would that happen. He suggested I keep saying my prayers and paying my tithing because there's no way it would've happened to a gentile. :) Gabe is VERY inactive, and has been forever, in fact he probably doesn't know that he's still a member even though he's abandoned the church. But he grew up going to primary (until he was 10) and knows the primary songs and stuff, and he makes jokes about the church all the time. I know he was kidding, but I also know that I'm going to continue paying my tithing and saying my prayers, because I truly believe that it was divine intervention.
Before all of this, I was just feeling better and better about the house, I love it, I love the idea of living there, both of us feel really good about it. There was confusion and stress earlier, but since then neither of us have even worried. We are just happy and good and thrilled to have a new house! So, thanks to all of you who prayed for us, and thanks in advance for your help moving. LOL.
Yay for our new house!!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
This morning Josh got up and started packing and let me sleep until I was finally ready to get up and go to work. Once I got to work the phone calls started. One building didn't have any heat. Another tenant thinks they can only pay 75% of their rent because it's a new year. Our neighbor is mad that we ruined Christmas by digging up the sewer line because there was raw sewage in the basement of a house we're renting.
Then the phone calls started about my house. No there will not be docs to sign today. That means we can't close on our house, and that means it won't fund by tomorrow, and we can't take possession tomorrow. When our lender gets their act together and gets docs to the title company we can sign them, then they can fund, and THEN we can take possession. After talking to our loan officer, that might not happen tomorrow. If it doesn't happen tomorrow, we'd close on Friday, then fund on Monday (if enough places are open non New Years Eve) and possibly be able to move on New Years Day. If not enough places are open, that means we don't move until Josh's birthday. He'll be back to work, and my work will be busy again, and it won't be pretty. So, all day I've been coordinating efforts between my lender, real estate agent, and their real estate agent to get everything done in time. Not that I don't want to move for another week, just that I REALLY want to move this weekend. We're packing, we're ready to go and I don't want to live out of boxes, rearrange all of the help we have, and go to my ward again. We've said our farewells, and I'm not doing it again! So, here's hoping we get everything done.
I seriously lost it earlier this morning. There's this Safety Kids song that we used to sing growing up. "Sometimes you just gotta yell and scream, sometimes it's the only thing to do!" That was me. I've never been so frustrated with people. Why can't you just do your job?!?!?!?! If people want to buy a house, and pay you to find them the money to do it, JUST DO IT!!!! Don't wait until the day after Christmas to do a verification of employment, then get mad at me because not everybody is at work today! You've had the information for 3 weeks! You knew we were closing in the middle of the holidays and not everybody would be available. Just do your job and do it efficiently, and don't be grumpy with me because you didn't! Arg!
So I called Josh while I was grumpy and frustrated at our lender for not being a grown up and I'm pretty sure I was grumpy at him. I think I hung up on him kinda, but fortunately he's just fine. He's calm and not worried about it, and he's real good at keeping perspective. Like if it doesn't happen tomorrow, it'll wait and we'll be just fine. No it's not as convenient, but it's OK. I'm losing it, yelling, screaming, breaking stuff, slamming doors, and he's saying "but you can still have a good day huh?" He's so great like that. That's why I'm glad I'm married, so someone can make me calm the heck down.
It did make me feel better that Gabe was equally mad. Gabe is the source of a lot of really ugly phrases, in fact I'm thinking of instituting "ugly Gabe phrase of the day" in my office because he really is good at coming up with things. (NOTICE: If you're sensitive to ugly words (not swear words, just ugly ones) skip to the next paragraph because ugly phrase of the day ALWAYS includes ugly words.) Today it was: "do you ever feel like someone is pissing on your back and telling you it's raining?" Yes, yes I do. I think I like hearing ugly phrases. I laugh at them and it makes me feel better. Chelsea taught us about the "butt crack of dawn" when you should' be up yet because it's still dark outside. One time I said something about "sucking my juices" which was about my car, but sounded uglier than that. The list of ugly phrases goes on, but I'll skip it for now.
The ugly phrase of the day section is now over. And actually, I feel better for it, so I think I'm ready to stop "yelling at my blog" (read: typing furiously, quickly, and hard on the keys while scowling at my screen because there isn't' anybody for me to really yell at, which just adds to the grumpiness). Thank you for listening, I feel much better now. Really I do.
Christmas Eve was awesome. After leaving work early, we packed a little, drove in the snow and blizzardness to Lindon for the traditional Fugal Christmas. We got there early, and Josh vanished with Randy and they were nowhere to be found. I knew they left, and I could tell it was a secret where they were, so I pretended to be clueless, and really I was. It was funny because the last time Josh disappeared with one of my family members at my house, he was asking my parents if we could get married. No such news this time. When he got back he told me Katy was getting a piano for Christmas so he was helping Randy and his brother move it into their apartment. Sooo cool!
Of course the festivities started with food. We had soup and bread bowls, jello salad, veggie tray, etc. We went downstairs for the real party, where we played some games (fruit basket, that-one-whack-you-if-you-can't-think-of-it game, the sign passing game, and others like it. My family is funny, and we all have our strengths. I'm REAL bad at the sign game. Dallin and Garret didn't quite grasp the concept of fruitbasket (they just kept saying "strawberry and banana" over and over again and not even trying for someone else's seat), and for some reason Katy and Randy couldn't remember to say somebody else's name before sitting down and got whacked more than they'd like.
Grandma and Grandpa went upstairs with the grandkids to prepare for a nativity while the rest of us wrote a really bad Christmas poem. When the grandkids came downstairs, the whole room burst out in oooohs and awwwwws. Those kids were easily the cutest nativity we've ever seen. Tyler (2 yrs) came down dressed like Joseph, Ryann (1 yr) as Mary, and Dallin (5 yrs) and Garret as the wise men. The amazing Garret (7 yrs) managed to recite all of the Christmas story from Luke 2 (he has an incredible memory!) It was so precious. I hope the pictures turned out, I haven't had a chance to load them on the computer yet, but will post them as soon as I do. It was awesome.
Then we called my brother and his family in Seattle to open presents over the phone. The kids all did their gift exchange, which went quite well. I think everybody was very happy! Nathan got us a printer router, and promised to set it up for us in our new house, which will be SOO nice! It means we can print wirelessly from our laptops, and that will be amazing. I'm excited for that. We also got our Fontanini pieces, which was a town well this year. It's beautiful, I truly love it!
After presents we sang carols, read stories, (Humphrey's First Christmas was this year's title). BreAnne and mom played a Christmas Cannon on the harp and piano respectively. It was beautiful. Since Bre had her harp at mom's house, she taught me how to play it afterward, it's SOO beautiful! And hard. :) I'm amazed by people that can do it, every time I looked up to see the music, the strings moved under my fingers. Ha ha. I guess I won't pursue a career in harping anytime soon.
We ventured home for our own Christmas Eve traditions (which this year included falling into bed and falling asleep in approximately 2.3 seconds).
Christmas morning Josh woke up at 4:30 AM. No that is not a typo, my husband seriously wanted to open presents at 4-dark:30. I told him if he wanted to go out to the car to get my camera, then we could open presents. Needless to say we slept in until 7:00. :)
I surprised Josh with a game (he knew he'd get a game because it's him, but he didn't know WHICH game.....) and he surprised me with the food processor to my Bosch! I'm so excited!!! I can slice, dice, shred and everything, I'm stoked. He's amazing, and I love him. We also got the love sac, and the sounds system for the new house. We were spoiled!
Since he got a game, he opted to play the game before heading to his parents, which made us late, but we had fun anyway. We went over there, and got spoiled even more. Josh's mom gave me card making stuff, and a cuttlebug, and he got a cordless drill and stuff. His grandma gave us a new game, and his sister gave us a bunch of stuff too. I got the most high tech tea kettle I've ever seen, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't burn it up if I tried. It's red and cute. Santa definitely found us this year. It was great.
Misty suggested feeding the homeless at 1:00. They said they normally serve until 2:00, so we figured we'd go at 1 and see what we could do. When we got there though, they were cleaning up. So, we helped with that, which was still cool. We were only there for 15 minutes before heading to Grandma B's. After everything was cleaned up, we all stood in a circle and had a prayer together. The guy saying the prayer told us that just before we got there, they only had 4 people to clean everything up, so we were an answer to their prayer. We kinda felt dumb before that because there wasn't much to do, but that made me feel better about it. I was thinking that you never really know how helpful something small is. We thought our trip up was pointless because we just washed off a few tables and folded them up, but to the people who had been there since early in the morning, it was probably a relief to not have to scrape the ice off all the tables for another hour. That was warm and fuzzy.
After the festivities at Grandma's we went to the Egbert's house. We played Transformers Risk and Josh and I (the Autobots) kicked trash! :) It was fun. We headed back to the Reilley's to play a quick game and pick up Josh's coat and headed home again. We cleaned up the Christmas mess that was everywhere. Treats from the neighbors, gifts from the day, and cooking pans were taking over the kitchen and living room. We were glad to put things where they actually belong! We packed some more stuff, and watched Finding Nemo (thank you Santa!) while we fell asleep on our love sac. :)
It was a fantastic Christmas. We saw family, hung out, played games, watched a movie, did some small service, spent time alone, and even got things done. Now that it's over, we have to get on top of things and get ourselves ready to move on Friday!
*Pictures of all of the festivities coming soon.*
Monday, December 24, 2007
We're very grateful for the chance we've had to live in this neighborhood and this house, and we're VERY excited to move on to our own place. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I won't look at seagreen walls anymore. That we'll have a fan in our bathroom (eliminating the daily fire drill due to the steam from a shower setting off the smoke alarm), a big fat kitchen, a couch that we chose from DI all by ourselves, a big closet, 2 bathrooms (both with showers!), a disposal, room for my bosch, the list goes on. Our new house is fantastic and I can't wait to live there! This house has been great, and it's the reason we can buy a house now, so we're so glad to have lived here, but so glad it's over.
There are a few people I will really miss, and a lot of people I genuinely appreciate in this neighborhood. The day we moved in our next door neighbor (the Stake President's son) just picked up a box and started helping us move in. The Relief Society first counselor quickly followed with spaghetti and Ragu for dinner. The first Sunday Sister Johnson sat by me and told me all of the inside jokes and why everyone went "ooohhh" when someone announced a new baby. She told me a little about everyone and made me feel right at home. The other Johnson's gave me advice on scrapbooking and told me to start while I was young. The missionaries taught me about discussions. The Austen's helped my testimony grow by showing me what life is like without it. Sister McAllister made me realize how easy my life is. Nancy Derrick taught us about pickles and how to make Cafe Rio food. Judd Cahoon was an amazing home teacher, and Lindsey let me substitute primary sometimes. The Green boys sponsored the biggest water fight of our lives here. Brother Green taught fantastic Sunday School lessons about getting your drill if you're prompted to pick it up. Mr. Showell bobcatted (I know it's not a real word, but you know what I mean) the snow off our driveway so Josh and I didn't have to shovel. And a mystery saint raked our leaves for us. So many people have been so great to us, and we're sad to leave this neighborhood.
In Relief Society Sister Marchent announced that we'd bought a house and asked how much longer we were here, when I told her it was our last Sunday, everyone made that sad sound "awwww" because they'll miss us. It feels good that even half of the people there knew us, and great that they'll miss us! It's a bitter-sweet moment.
I'm excited and ready for a fresh start, a new place, new faces. And I'm a little scared. Who knows what our new ward will be like, what if nobody talks about pickles or has an extra egg for my rolls on Sunday? What if nobody helps us move in, our neighbors smoke, or we get a scary calling. From what I can tell, the new neighborhood is full of people our age and in our situation, that's exciting to me, but also terrifying! It's good to know that no matter where we go I'll be able to call my mom for advice, and Jamie and Cameron will come play with us.
Here's hopin' the new ward is as great as this ward has been!
It's not too bad, but I had this awful moment of realizing I forgot a batch of people in my life to whom I need to give presents. Big trouble for me!
The parties have begun. We've gone to 4 so far for Josh's side of the family, and have 2 more next week. As for my side....well we're less festive, we'll just say that. I don't think my family has EVER had a big extended family Christmas party. This year we're all getting together on Christmas Eve, which totally counts as a party, but we don't have any traditional get together or anything. I do have the feeling that it would be very different from Josh's family parties if we did though....
So far we've gone out to eat at Chuck-a-Rama and to see "Santa vs. the Snowman" at Clark Planetarium (COOL) had a food party at his Grandma's clubhouse, caught the tail end of the clam chowder Kearney party, done birthdays, played games, and had WAY too much food. Tomorrow night is my family, where we'll exchange gifts, eat more food, and open our Fontanini nativity pieces. I'm excited for that.
It feels a little weird that this is our 2nd married Christmas....I guess I should get used to that soon, because before I know it we'll be old! Today at the Egbert party we were not the newliest weds in the room. I think that's the first time since we've been married that we haven't been the newliest weds in any room. I guess we're growing up....slowly but surely.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The website has video (make sure your speakers are turned up) of the light show, it's incredible. Seriously. For some reason I can't get the website to work right now, but it did work at mom and dad's, so hopefully it will when you click it too. Totally worth 10 minutes of your time. It was incredible! That might be our new tradition, going to see shows like that all over the place. I've seen a lot of videos of them, but I've never seen a real one before, it was amazing.
Also in our adventures today, we found a store that sells big comfy cool bean bag chairs. They aren't love sac's, but pretty similar. Josh has really wanted one for the new house, but I was having a hard time paying that much. Anyway, we saw the huge ones for much cheaper than a love sac, and decided to buy it. So, we have a new couch chair love sac thing. I'm excited about it. Merry Christmas to me!
We plan to close on the house on Wednesday and move over next weekend, which is overwhelming, but VERY exciting. Yay for our new house!
Merry Christmas to all!
We met at Rumbi (which by they way, might be my new favorite restaurant....SO good!) after running to Bath and Body Works to take advantage of the soap for $3 deal. We actually made it on time. While we were driving in the mall parking lot, I was AMAZED at how high the plowed snow got! It was seriously incredible. Taller than the trees, twice as tall as Josh. I know it was a lot piled up, but I don't know how it got that high without falling down! It was rad. In and out at Bath and Body (not 1 person asked us if we needed help finding anything, that's how fast we were) and off to our hot date.
Thompson is dating this girl who has a 1 year old daughter. So, the 5 of us sat at Rumbi and talked and ate and hung out for like 2 hours. It was great. This girl (the daughter) was SOO adorable! And of course entertaining. She was the most content baby I've seen in a long time. She just wanted to play, she crawled around on the table, ate pita bread, danced, played with the menu and the comment cards, and entertained all of us for a long time. I don't think I've ever sat in a restaurant like that for so long. And the girl that Thompson is dating is really cute too. We had a good time hanging out last night. I felt like it was real date because someone else was on a real date, so it meant we were too. :)
I did learn a few things.....the mall is NOT the place I want to be the weekend before Christmas, not even a little. There were a gajillion people there, but we weaved our way in and out of mall people traffic and survived. So, today we have 1 last minute gift we need to grab, but we have been pretty much done for about 2 weeks. That makes me happy. It means we'll run out, and shop if we want to, we'll maybe look at some stuff for our house, we will NOT be on a mission, we will NOT be in a hurry, and we WILL have a fun day. I need to finish making bread for our neighbor gifts, but it's going to be relatively stress-free and this makes me really happy.
I like being prepared and I owe it all to the internet! Yay for online shopping!!! It's the next couple of days I'm more worried about. Too many parties, too little time. Plus I made the mistake of wrapping every present as soon as I got it and sticking it under the tree, I labeled them all, but I didn't put our presents in a different place than everybody else's presents. That means I have to dig to make sure I get everybody else's presents to them appropriately.....and I don't open them up on Christmas morning thinking they're all ours.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The boys immediately headed in the back room to play some game about light switches on the computer and Jamie and I started talking. Before we went in I told Josh we could only stay for 1 hour because I still needed to do laundry and bake bread. Somehow we were there for 2 hours before I even looked my watch!
The boys conquered the light switch game and Jamie helped me feel better about the house decision and we talked about babies, immunizations, houses, moving to Washington, jobs, coworkers, and pretty much everything else. I love talking forever like that. I'm old.
Josh and I talked about the house thing on our way home, and while he started helping me make bread. We both decided that the more we think about it, the more we like it. The more we discuss it, the more we think it's right and the better we feel about it. We just have these moments of fear because it's a BIG deal and then we confuse ourselves and freak out. Of course anything can still happen, but for now we're feeling a lot better about it, and I'm much less confused, anxious, and scared. So, here's hoping that feeling lasts and we don't have to cancel the contract! We will do whatever we think is right in the end, but for now it feels good to be there. It makes sense, and it's exciting.
Jamie and I talked about the ability to do more than you thought you could and I've been thinking a lot about it. There are so many times in my life that I truly didn't know how I would make it through one more "something" - like being really sick and knowing that I can't possibly stand one more day of this feeling; or having too many tests, too much work, and not enough time; the moments when you don't know how you're going to pay your bills, much less make it through another month (if you survive this one); being so hurt and sad that I don't know what to do with myself and not seeing an end in sight; physical exhaustion and knowing very well that I don't have the strength to take one more step; knowing that if 1 more person gets married before me, I'm gonna snap!; somehow, though, I survived all of these experiences. Somehow something happened that made me more capable than I am. Somehow my money lasted longer than it should have, my feet kept walking, I kept waking up, I survived finals, I went to 10 more weddings that weren't mine, I made it through whatever was going on. Every single time! Not once have I died over anything! It's amazing to me how many times in my life I've had blessings that can't be accounted for by anything but divine intervention.
I guess I just take comfort in the fact that it will all be OK. Come what may we can do hard things, and we are going to make it no matter what.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
So we found the perfect house? What now? Well, we made an offer on it, they countered back, we accepted, and now we're under contract ready to close in 9 days. Yesterday we had it inspected. Nothing surprising found there. Then last night Josh and I met Gabe up there to walk through it. Keep in mind this is only the 2nd time we've seen it. And the first time we walked through the one across the street - so our memories have a right to be inaccurate.
We got there and Gabe let us in. The first thing we noticed was the smell of dog (and garlic which we later decided was Josh because he went to Buca di Beppo for lunch). They have an inside dog, it's been in its kennel every time we've been there, but homes with dogs have a smell. So, we looked at the carpet, and they kinda grossed Josh out. They weren't bad, they just need to be cleaned. "Your husband has the ability and access to a carpet machine! That's an easy fix!" you say. You'd be right because that's what I said too. And then Josh said he was sad because he doesn't have a way to move a carpet machine because he crashed his truck. So we might just pay someone to do that. :( No big deal, all carpets have to be cleaned.
Then we wander through the house, Josh notices that the tub is shallow, which bugs him, but he'll get over it. The "solid surface counter tops" we remembered were from the one across the street. He garage really is as small as we remembered. The 2nd bedroom really is small. Etc etc etc. I was a little worried about this. I knew I fell in love with it, and made it to be PERFECT in my head and it probably really wasn't, and I thought we'd be a little disappointed walking through it again. But, I liked it overall. It's still new, nice, and good for 2 people to live in.
When our agent met the inspector out there, a nice man came to post notice of trustee sale on the door. Which means if we don't buy this home, they lose it at a trustee's sale. I got excited about that and thought maybe we could bail on our contract and get it for cheaper at the trustee sale. I told Josh that, he got excited, we talked to Gabe about it and he said no. Not only does he think it's morally wrong, he doesn't think we could pull it off. We wouldn't save much money (if any) we'd have to come up with $5,000 certified funds to even bid on it, and then fund it within 24 hours. No way is it even possible. Josh was disappointed in that too. In all, it was kindof a disappointing walk through. We both thought so, but it's still so beautiful! It's so much better than what we have and beats renting without even trying!
We got in the car after walking through and talked about how nervous it made Josh. He was all for it until he was walking through again, and then he felt weird about it. I told him I was all for it too, but I didn't feel weird so much.
My problem is that when we were first looking, we saw this unit in Sandy. It wasn't new, or nice, but it had 3 bedrooms and a yard and a bigger garage. It had a bad kitchen (just not what I wanted), and a lot of yard work/landscaping to be done. The fence needed to be replaced. There weren't the neighborhood amenities, it's farther from work, etc. So, we thought the easy choice was the nicer, newer, closer, slightly smaller unit. But I can't get that stupid Sandy house out of my head! I keep brushing it off thinking it's just wondering what might have been. I didn't like the neighborhood in Sandy, but it is closer to our parents, we could grow into it more, and we don't need to live in a nice new house right now. We're good at slummin' it.
As we talked, I told Josh I keep thinking about the Sandy condo, and he said he kinda does too. But the more we talked the less sense it made. This North Salt Lake House is great! And if we have a bunch of babies and have to move soon (like within 3 years) then we'll still be better off than if we rented and we can get into something bigger then. Right now we don't need 3 small bedrooms, we'd rather a bigger living room. That'll change someday, but for now, this North Salt Lake house is great!
So, we talked ourselves in circles and tried to decide if we're scared because it's a big deal or if we're scared because it isn't right. We've been praying to be guided, is this a form of guiding? Or is this normal jitters? Is it Satan tempting us not to do something we should? Or are we being told that it isn't right for us right now? How do you tell the difference? How do we know if Josh is just disappointed because the garage is tiny and he bragged about the solid surface counter tops that are really formica, or if he's disappointed because it's not great for us? How do we know if we bail these people out or if we should hold out for a better deal? I'm bad at making decisions, I always have been, but I didn't know Josh was as bad at is as I am. He keeps saying "we'll just do it." and that's why we're under contract, but then we both come back having doubts! Until we talk about it. Then we feel good. Are we talking ourselves into something that we shouldn't? Arg!!! We're bad at this, and I just don't know how to get around that.
I'm just so discouraged and confused, but excited and I really want it at the same time - adding to the confusion and the vicious cycle begins again. I just need to know if we're really going to go through with this!!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
When Josh started working for Redbox they gave him an ugly redbox license plate holder thing that I refuse to put on my car because it would be acknowledging that we live in "the redbox car".
He also started eating at McDonalds an awful lot, and for a while got addicted to kids meals. During that phase he once gave me a little-tiny-kids-meal-sized-teddy-bear that has a bib on it. We decided it was a baby bear and it reminds me that me and Josh will have babies together someday. I stuffed that above my rear view mirror about a year ago and it's still there. For a while there was a pirate thing on which Josh wrote "arg. I love you" with a bic pen. But that has somehow disappeared. The rest of my car is pretty normal I think. Other than the zillions of DVDs and boxes in it 99% of the time.
You know how when you stop at a red light sometimes your head is connected to your brake foot and it automatically turns to look at the person in the car next to you? Like you need to know your surroundings - is this a "race off the white line" kind of red light neighbor? Or a "don't look because I'm picking my nose" red light neighbor? In the morning I see a lot of "zoned out" red light neighbors and I immediately change lanes to get as far away from those as possible. There is of course the "I'm in a hurry so get the HECK outta my way!" red light neighbor easily identified by the tapping of the steering wheel, inching forward, and constant looking around at all of the other lights to watch for the yellow signaling her green coming up. My favorite neighbor is the "rocking out" red light neighbor, and for that reason alone, I often try to be that neighbor I love so dearly.
Today on our way to work, we stopped at a red light (yes, we usually do stop at red lights, but sometimes we don't so I had to clarify.) and Josh looked over at the car next to us. Presumabley to check out our neighbor. He started laughing, did a double take, and then let me in on the joke.
"Is that a.....what are those things called?.......garter?" He laughed
"A garter? Yeah right. Where?" I mumbled as I looked pulling myself out of my trance. "oh my gosh it is!"
"Isn't that what the guys catch at a wedding?" he asked. Proving yet again that he didn't spend the first 21 years of his life watching other people's weddings and planning his.
"Yes. That is what some people choose to throw at their wedding for the guys to catch." I answered. "But I bet that the nice lady driving that car didn't catch it at a wedding."
Now I see a lot of funny bumper stickers, pictures, and words on cars, but I truly think that this if the first time I've seen a garter hanging from someone's rear view mirror. It made me think....if you parked your normal-looking car in the parking lot at a mall, and couldn't remember where it was, and went out to find it, I bet that the simple "personalization" would ensure you wouldn't stick your key in the wrong car.
Generally the things I see hanging from cars are practical. I write myself notes in my car all the time so I won't forget something - perhaps it was acting as a reminder. It couldn't been sentimental. Maybe a dare. Perhaps even placed there for the entertainment value of the "nosey red light neighbors". I guess I'll never know, but I sure laughed this morning. Thanks garter lady!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The wedding was in Logan, and we didn't have to be there until 2:30 so I told Josh we needed to leave our house at 12:45. We wound up leaving late, and it took 20 minutes to get on the freeway, I needed to stop at Walmart to buy nylons because mine are holey and it was kinda starting to snow. Chances were against us making it there on time.
Once Josh figured out how late we were he started driving like I wished he was the whole time though. Sometimes he drives like a maniac and sometimes he drives like an old lady. I was trying really hard to just let him drive, but secretly I wanted this to be a maniac time. It finally turned into a maniac time when he realized we had to go 30 miles in 15 minutes to get to the canyon with enough time to make it through the canyon (without stopping at Walmart). He reminded me that the new tires he put on the car are rated to go 140 mph. I reminded him that even though the speedometer in our car has that number, we shouldn't go quite that fast.
Fortunately we made it on time, stopped at Walmart for me, and sped through the canyon, took the scenic route to find the Logan temple (I only know how to get there one way, and it wasn't the right way.), and didn't miss the ceremony. Josh likes to get places just as they are starting. His favorite flight we were ever on involved us running across the airport to get to a shorter security line, then running back to our terminal and the gate, and walking right on the plane because they were already boarding. This is not the way I like to do things. I'd rather arrive early and sit there waiting patiently for an hour than run and not wait at all. Anyway, we sat down for about 2.3 minutes when they took us to the sealing room. Whew! Just in time!
The ceremony was great, and made me think of all of those good things. Why I love my husband, the things that were said in our ceremony, everything good. It was beautiful. When we went out for pictures it was FREEZING. Poor Gina in her beautiful but not warm dress! I'm sure they were dying, but they looked fantastic. We laughed because we saw them come out into the temple waiting room, then they waited for everyone to gather outside, and made sure nobody was walking behind them so their pictures would turn out. From the time someone saw her to the time they stepped out the door was probably 10 minutes. When Josh and I got married, the nice lady said "please walk out quickly and get out to take pictures because there are people behind you." Since I HATE to be "in the way" I bolted out of the temple. We walked out and didn't even wait for people because I know that people tend to pool and visit and that's what they were avoiding. I practically ran out the doors, dragging poor Josh the whole way with my mom right behind me because she couldn't get out before me. It was funny to see the difference.
Friday, December 14, 2007
On our last day, we really wanted to go to Oregon Coast Aquarium. That was REALLY cool. When I think of an aquarium, that's not what I picture. I think of a bunch of fish in a tank. But this was AWESOME. It's a zoo, for ocean wildlife. They showed us all kinds of creatures. And tons of exhibits. It was amazing. If you're ever in the area, I HIGHLY recommend this place. I saw and learned so much! Did you know that skates (they look like a sting ray) lay egg pouches? We saw one, and it's like a little UPS package with live babies in it. So there were 3 tiny skates inside this little (maybe 6 inches long by 4 inches high) pouch and they live there for like a year before the grow up and "hatch" out of their paper sack looking egg pouch. We saw jellyfish, sharks, halibut (our dinner the night before) anemones, starfish, sea lions, octopus, diving birds, crabs, lobster, shrimp, anchovies, and yes another gift shop. :)
The greatest part about going somewhere during low travel time is that you never wait for anything. We walked through this place and every staff member/volunteer was excited to tell us everything they knew about everything. Since everything was so quiet, we got a lot of personal attention and details of stuff we wouldn't have otherwise found. I was amazed at how much everybody there knew, and how quickly and easily they answered our questions. "Sea lions eat 1/4 of their weight every day - that's like a 120 pound woman eating 30 big macs a day." "If you touch a sea anemone like this.....you'll feel your hand stick in. If you were a tiny fish, you would've been dead and moving toward it's mouth." "This type of bird can dive down to 120 feet to prey on their food." "A sea cucumber's only defense is to spit out its guts. If they're being attacked, they will spit out their intestines and leave them behind for the predator to eat and just grow new ones." "Skates lay egg pouches like this." "That keychain is $1.50." These people answered every question we had, and then some more. It was COOL. They even had a petting zoo (that's my term, not theirs) and we got to touch starfish, sea cucumbers, pointy things, anemones, and other stuff. That was pretty rad for my childish brain.
There is a display there called "passages of the deep" where you walk through a huge aquarium. There's just a big tunnel and you can see the fish swimming all around you. The tunnel is made out of glass except for parts of the floor you can see everything around you. They have sections of how deep the water is and what fish you would see. So you start with the boring stuff, small fish, then move to the rock fish (which don't have to swim to stay sunk, they have a built in equalizer so they just stop and stay put), then you get to see the sharks and stink ray, and skates, and big scary fish. It was incredible.
After our long visit to the aquarium, we headed to the "undersea gardens" place. Only it was closed. Everything there just closes when they feel like it. Nobody has hours posted on their doors, they just open if/when they want and leave when they want. We asked a few shop owners when they'd be open so we could go back for more stuff and they said "I don't know, I think I'll leave around 4:00 today". Anyway, the other places we wanted to see were closed, so we looked at some lazy sea lions and shopped some more.
MF decided that she wanted to get a kite. So we went to the kite shop, which she says was her favorite store we went to the whole time. They had wind chimes and kites and flags and all kinds of cool stuff. Josh and I found "the hoodie" and one of those ring Frisbee things that Josh wants. He also wanted a cool kite, a really sturdy one that you fly with 2 hands and stuff. But they were expensive and we decided against it. We got a bunch more souvenirs and headed back home again.
We went to the whale watching place that I found online and set up an excursion for noon. We had some time to kill so we hit a bunch of the shops in downtown Depoe Bay. MR is a big shopper, she had to bring back something for each of her kids, and likes to have souvenirs from places. So we had plenty of shopping to do. There were tons of little trinkety stores, so we shopped. She found stuff she wanted, and we all found stuff we didn't know we wanted.
Finally it was time for whale watching. Our captain said that this is probably the worst time for whale watching because it's not migrating time. Oh well, we still wanted to go play so we did. We went out and LOVED the boat ride. The weather was beautiful, we saw dolphins or porpoises or whatever they're called, and a ton of birds, and other cool stuff, so we were happy. We really had a great time.
We went back to Yaquina Head lighthouse to see their information center. That was really cool, tons of stuff to see, and of course a little gift shop. My dad wanted to see tide pools, and the rest of us didn't really know what they were, but we were game. So, we went down a couple of hours before low tide and looked at what the water left behind. Tide pools are where the water was, and the creatures stay. We saw anemones, starfish, barnacles, zillions of mussels. It was beautiful. The park gates closed at 5 minutes after sundown, (4:41) so we had to make sure we left in time. The girls were ready to go, but the dads were still playing with the creatures. Finally we made them go back up to the car and get us out in time. On our way we saw a bunch of little black dots in the ocean. We stopped to see if we could find out what they were, and finally realized they were surfers. There was a whole group of people surfing in that water! They were crazy, I'm sure of that. We made it out of the gates in time and headed home again.
Oregon days are so short! The sun seriously goes down before 5:00 and if you're there on vacation, I still don't know what you do for fun after dark....we hung out in our beautiful hotel room, watched movies, played games, and looked at/listened to the ocean.
Sunday morning we got up and drove 20 minutes to Newport for church. There was a sign pointing to the LDS church which made me laugh only because if there were signs pointing to LDS churches in Utah they wouldn't be much help because on every corner they'd point in ever direction. When we walked in a cute little family said hi to us and asked where we were from. Turns out they were from Fillmore, and knew somebody my mom knew.
My mom happens to be the queen of "six degrees of separation" game. The first thing she does when she's meeting someone new is ask where they're from, where they went on their mission, and if they know _____. Invariably she makes a connection withing 10 minutes. Before we sat down in the chapel, 3 or 4 more people told us they were glad to have us with them this week and hoped we enjoyed our time there. All in the 20 foot walk from the doorway to the chapel.
About halfway through their sacrament meeting, Josh nudged me and I looked over and wished I had my camera. We were sitting at the end of the row and every one of our parents were asleep. All in a row, all with their heads up, but starting to nod. We laughed and listened to the speaker reverently. We're such good examples. :)
After church (and my mom making 6 new very close friends) we decided that since we couldn't go back to our room (we had to switch rooms) we'd go see some lighthouses. Yaquina Bay Lighthouse was first on our list and was really pretty cool. That one isn't functioning, but used to back in the day. Now it's just an old house that they've set up like a museum. After getting our fill there, we headed up to Yaquina Head which is the tallest lighthouse in something - Oregon, the US, something. We walked up to the top of it (114 steps) and saw the light. It was incredible. The prisms and stuff were so cool! Then we went out to the beach. We were all still in our Sunday duds, and my nylons were torn from a mishap at the temple, so I was barefoot and stuck my toe in the ocean. I wanted to really get in, but it was SOO cold! Oh well, maybe next time. Instead of uploading pictures one by one here, here's the link to the album, or you can go to photobucket for ALL of the pictures.
Before long it was dark and we headed back to our hotel. Looked through DF's spotting scope at the ships off the shore and hung out. All in all it was a great day.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
It's funny to see the difference between my parents and Josh's parents. And even funnier to see their similarities. Mom Fugal (or MF as we will now refer to her) and Mom Reilley (MR) stopped at every restroom and kept their feet on the imaginary brakes the whole time. When we got to Portland we got off the plane and headed straight for food. We drove in the general direction of the airport, and happened to see a Chile's so we stopped. My parents have NEVER (I mean never) been to a Chile's before in their lives, so it was a new and exciting experience to them. I kindof had to laugh because I remember my first years at college and even in high school every time my friends would go somewhere - even simple places I'd ask how to go there because I'd never been. Ordering pizza, Wendy's (before I was 17 I could count on one hand the number of times I'd eaten at Wendy's.), Dee's, anywhere. I kindof forgot that my parents never lived with roommates and are still right where I was. It's funny now to hear someone say that, but I remember very well that feeling.
Our second item of business was going to the temple. Which was no small feat. When Josh and I went to the Portland last year around this time, we discovered that just outside the distribution center was a restroom. A big one. We used it to change to our "street clothes" or "Sunday duds" as we call them in my family. Since we were just 2 of us, and we both changed at the same time, it took us maybe 2.3 minutes to complete this process.
When our parents asked if they should wear their Sunday duds on the plane, I told them that sounded awful to me, and that they could change this this public restroom just outside. So, we pulled up, and then I realized that we really weren't going to go in 2 at a time to change. Then I realized that when you have 6 people changing 1 at a time in the only bathroom, it takes a long time. This was the first moment that I realized it's different to travel with 6 people instead of 2.
After a lot of shivering, shaking, and commenting on how funny it was that both of our dad's forgot their ties, we headed in. I LOVE the Portland temple. Everybody knows it's the most beautiful temple on the planet. Even though I'm partial to Mt. Timpanogos because it's where I got married and grew up, I'm willing to admit that Portland is probably the most beautiful temple on the planet. Of course we had to stop for a photo opportunity, but we wanted to do that before it got dark, and only MR took the pictures, so I'll post some when I get them.
Finally we were on our way. Until we remembered that we wanted to find a grocery store and get some snacks and food for the trip. My dad has probably never eaten breakfast at a restaurant, and to be honest, he makes such great breakfast food, he'd probably be disappointed if he did. So, we got breakfast ingredients, and a LOT of snacks. I looked at the cart which had about as much food as Josh and I will eat in 2 months, and had to take a leap of faith, trusting my moms that they knew how much we'd eat. Finally we really headed to the coast.
I laughed that all of the adults were impressed with my ability to follow an online map, and then decided that they just didn't know how great google really is. Turn by turn directions are nothing short of a miracle.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
One quick picture with our finished sad lopsided lumpy snowman and we were off to Oregon.
This year I learned that The Forgotten Carols was not just a CD. I liked the songs, but didn't think that it was that great or really understand all of the hype. In fact, some of the songs I didn't even like that much. "I CRYYY!!!! the day that I take the tree down...." seems like a stupid song to me. Anyway, this year Josh told me he wanted to take me to The Forgotten Carols, and I said they just have a choir sing them all? I'd rather listen to the good singers on my CD at home. That's when he told me that it's a play. Like there's a story line to it and it has actors and everything. I got kindof excited.
So Friday was the big night and we got to go the play. It started snowing earlier in the evening, we got all dressed up and went over to the high school. By the time we got there the roads were slick and snow packed. We went in to the concert which was AMAZING. I was very impressed. Michael McLean was hilarious, and I know everyone says he can't sing, but I love his voice. I LOVE it! The whole play was fantastic. I laughed, and I TOTALLY cried. More than once. It was an amazing play. I can't believe my whole life I didn't know there was more to those songs. now I love them more than I did before, and that's a pretty good thing. I'm SO glad we got to go and so glad Josh took me. It was amazing.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Today when Gabe called ranting and raving about the greed of David I asked what we were referring to. Gabe said that David is throwing people under the bus and it makes him nervous. I told Gabe I agreed and that's why I don't ever want to be in his position or Kim's because they have risky jobs. Gabe said that he is going to find another millionaire to play with and get out of this position as quick as possible because he hates the lack of ethics, morals, and the ability to maintain a relationship. I agreed and kindof laughed at his ideal of the "moral-millionaire" and he said they're out there and he will find them or become one. And when he does he will tell me where he is and take me with him. I told him that sounded great and I'd leave in a heartbeat. That was probably a bad thing to say, but I did anyway. And it's true.
When I was looking for jobs with the church this job suddenly became unbearable. I couldn't handle the people I worked with, the job I did, the lack of communication, the mean-hearted cruelty and the horribleness. Then when I found out I didn't get the position and suddenly my current job wasn't so bad anymore, I could totally handle it. I even liked it some days.
One comment about how HE'S uncomfortable and suddenly I'm ready to cry and tear out my hair again. I HATE the way things are run here. I HATE the dishonesty, the griping, the whining, the whole thing. I HATE the egos and the greed and I desperately want to get out of it. I can't handle it any more - right now, at this moment I'm ready to storm out the door, break a statue, say a lot of mean words and tell them all exactly what I think and how much I despise this shifty shady business. I hate that we refuse to provide things to tenants, I hate that we go into a contract with every intent of breaking it. I hate that we want to just not define it and pretend we can't figure out why they thought we'd do what we said we would.
However, I'm trying hard to remember about being nice, forgiving 70 times 7, patience being a virtue, and seeing others as He does. So, today I'll do all I can to do all of those things, but oh man, it's taking everything in me!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
One of these is "today I love you". That one is from "The Prestige" which, by the way, is an excellent movie. In that movie it's sad, but in our life it isn't. In that movie some days the husband doesn't love his wife and she calls him on it and it make you cry. But some days he's madly deeply passionately in love with her ("madly deeply passionately" is a phrase we stole from one of Josh's classmates before we were married...) and she can tell when he is and when he isn't. When I saw that movie I thought it was the saddest thing in the world, but there are some days that I truly am madly deeply passionately in love with my husband, and other days that I just love him. So, I guess it's OK. Anyway, on those days/moments when we are really REALLY in love with each other, we say "I love you today." not that we don't love each other on other days, just that in that moment it's a particularly strong feeling of love.
This morning Josh said that to me and it seriously just made my day. I'm giddy and whooped and all of those good things now just because today he loves me.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
This whole house thing has been more than a little stressful at our house. Josh is freaking out because it's a lot of money, and he worries about money anyway, so committing to that much money is terrifying to him. He also has a hard time committing to things, especially financial things. Naturally this is a hard thing. It's not as scary for me, and I'm not sure why. On one hand I'm scared to death, and on the other hand I just think it's part of life. Yes, you go into huge amounts of debt to buy a house, and then it pays off when it appreciates and you're good to go. So, I need to be more understanding and stressed and he needs to have more faith and trust.
The other conflict here is about documents, signing, the whole home buying process. Working for David I've seen all of these documents before, I've prepared and reviewed them before, so it isn't so hard for me to look at something and know what it says. But, all of this is new to Josh. So, I hand him 26 pages of "loan docs" to look at and sign and he kinda gets overloaded. It doesn't help that he is doing this, thinking about it, and reviewing numbers in the middle of the night because he's not home or available any other time. So, last night I pulled up the documents, printed them all up and had Josh sign them. Then he started asking questions. I was incredibly frustrated because I've kinda felt like he's dragging his feet and doesn't really want to do this, and I don't want to force him to. Argh! Anyway, we started to go through it, and he immediately fell asleep - adding to my aggravation. I gave up, I stopped answering questions, and just got mad and went to bed. This morning on the way to work we talked about it more, and I told him that he was making me crazy and he just needed to decide! He said he would by next week when we walk through the home again. So, hopefully it will be better then, but until then he's stressed out and I'm going crazy because of it.
In the middle of all this, we are trying to recognize and appreciate that the rest of life goes on. We still have jobs, school, and church. We're trying to keep up with it all, but it's a little overwhelming at times...the missionaries came over tonight and told me that we have a baptism next week in our ward. It's exciting, but it means I have a lot of coordinating to do. So, I got out my missionary book to make some phone calls (schedule the church and the font filling guy) and my book fell open to this article that Mom-Reilley gave us about marriage. I started reading it and it was all about understanding and commitment and patience and love and all that jazz. It was a great article, and it made me remember why we got married and that we don't have to fight about money and houses because we still love each other. So, tonight I am thankful for the missionaries and thankful that I left that article in my missionary binder AND I'm thankful for Aubrey who is getting baptised next Wednesday (assuming I can take care of all the scheduling).
Since we're still deciding about the house, it's hard to be too excited about it; mostly because I want it SOOO bad that I don't want to sway my decision. I still struggle so much with recognizing the different between a "no" answer to prayers and satan trying to dissuade you from making a good choice. So, I don't know whether to take all of this stress and worry as a prompting or sign that we shouldn't do it, or to just recognize that it's a big step that is bound to bring worry and stress and push through it anyway. Life is hard sometimes.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
On Sunday we had a lesson about journals and history and keeping a record and I got all excited about typing my grandpa's mission journal again. So, on Monday I did that, entered some bills for Gabe, took care of some other minor work projects, and then something happened to my night, I don't know what it was, but it simply vanished.
Tonight has been better so far - in fact I'm already blogging! Not bad eh? Maybe this night will be a success.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Today we woke up and did NOTHING all morning long, it was amazing. I LOVE lazy Sundays! There just aren't words for the stress relief that it brings. :) So, we had a great lazy Sunday, came home from church, put on our grunge pants, and went to Lindon for my Dad's birthday. It was great - I have to say I really do miss my mom's cooking. She's amazing. Everyone came over, and we had a grand time. Food, memories, games.
It was also Ryann's (my niece) first birthday last week, so Katy made a video slideshow of her. It was pictures, video, music and it was SOO precious! I can't believe she's already a year old. Anyway, the video turned out beautifully highlighting everything from the day she was born, to her first camping trip, hike, photoshoot, steps, it was great. I've kindof always thought that video cameras were kinda lame, but that totally made me change my mind. It was so fun to see her and how much she's grown just in a year! Exciting.
Fortunately the weekend was paced slow enough that I got nowhere near a snowcoaster moment and I feel ready for another real week of work. So, off to bed I go so I can really be ready.
Friday, November 30, 2007
As a side note, I love words like that. A nice lady in my ward said she remembers her son asking her what a “shamenno” was because when they’d sing primary songs they always sang “by this shamenno (shall men know) ye are my disciples.
Anyway, MerilynBetty were the coolest people I knew. They were roommates with each other, and both were teachers in the Jordan School District. Merilyn was a principal and Betty was a history teacher/student council person. This particular Sunday they were sharing stories of the outrageous awkward student moments when they really just didn’t know what to do with their students.
Merilyn talked about one mentally challenged student in her school who found it freeing to remove all of his clothing, and this was not a small person. One afternoon, they followed the trail of clothing out into the middle of the street, where they found him sitting Indian style, rocking back and forth, fumbling with his hands in a small rubbing motion, saying over and over again “Ms. Richards. Ms Richards. Nathan hurt my feelings. He hurt my feelings Ms. Richards.” The sentence isn’t as funny unless you hear somebody say it, but the R’s were W’s, the “th” was a “f”, and the words came out in varying speeds. So it sounded more like “ms.wichawds, ms.wichawds! ….. nafun-huwt my feewings.” She somehow talked him back into the building and back into his clothes for which we were all thankful. Please don’t think me inconsiderate for laughing, but at the time it was a hilarious story. While we were by no means making fun of this poor boy, or making light of his hardships, the mental picture we found was hilarious.
This story naturally lead to one of my all time favorite breakdown stories. A friend of mine had one of those mom’s a superman mom. She worked during the day, made cookies before her kids got home from school, was RS President in her ward, PTA leader lady, Room mother, and always looked well kept. She was always nice to everyone she saw and everybody counted her as a good friend. One day, her teenage daughter came home and found her rocking back and forth, muttering something about dinner, naked in a snowcoaster (you know those plastic round sled things? Snowcoasters?). This phrase “naked in a snowcoaster” has become my families catch phrase meaning that we’re emotionally unwell. We’ve snapped and we just can’t handle anything anymore.
I’ve often wondered how old I’ll be when someone finds me naked in a snowcoaster. This week I was borderline snowcoaster crazy. On Wednesday at work I truly felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t focus on anything, I’d re-read the same simple e-mail 3 times before fully understanding it, I couldn’t remember what I’d already done and what I hadn’t. I couldn’t look at a list of things to do and work through them. I’d walk upstairs to the printer and not remember why I was there. I seriously felt like I had lost it.
Josh made me drive home (he does this because by the time he comes to get me he’s usually been driving in rush hour traffic for an hour and the thoughts of any more of that make him sick. So I drive because I love him, and he asks me to because he doesn’t want us to die on our way home. On the way I started crying and couldn't stop. I seriously thought I was going crazy, and I'm inclined to say that Josh didn't disagree. He patiently taught me how to breath (I do this really annoying thing when I panic where I stop breathing...purely out of choice...100% mental instability) and held my hand and tried to make me sane. When we got home I just got worse. I took one look at my house and realized that no matter how hard I tried, no matter how long I lived, my house would never be good enough, my laundry would never be caught up, I would never work enough hours, cook enough dinners or wash enough dishes. I would never be OK. And that's an overwhelming thought, so I freaked out some more. I cried and breathed and breathed and cried. Josh went to school and I tried to do anything productive, but it wasn't pretty.
Thursday morning was like the biggest hangover of all time. Have you ever had a crying breakdown hangover? I have no idea what a real hangover is like, but if it's anything like that, I don't know why people drink. I called in sick and spent the day watching "The Office" (Which I am now 100% addicted to) and cooking and cleaning and tying ribbons on my Christmas presents. I now have all of the presents wrapped, tied, and ready for Christmas. But I'm still behind at work, laundry, church, and the rest of life. Thursday was a much needed day of rest and relaxation.
Poor Josh, who is doing 1 1/2 routes this week for work preparing for finals next week, going to his normal classes, starting his weekend clinics, putting up other people's Christmas lights, and truly not even setting foot inside our house between the hours of 8:00 and 11:30 pm. When he gets home he studies for a while, tries to find food, and sleeps. I feel bad for him, and can't wait for Christmas break from school and our trip to Oregon, he needs some time off, that's for sure! As for me, next week I'm going to try to work all day every day and have zero emotional breakdowns. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Josh came up to bring me lunch because he loves me. But instead of going to get lunch I made him just bring it to me and eat with me because it was already like 2:00. So he brought up Subway and we started to go out on the back porch to eat. Then David comes and says we need to eat on the front porch where it isn't so cold (due to the sun/shade factor) and we can see the view, maybe even make out. We laugh, and decide to take advantage of the front porch. David escorts us to his front porch and brings out his kitchen chairs and sets up the lawn chair as a table. We laugh a little more. Then he brings out the plant that was on his table and sets it down for our centerpiece and we really laugh. Then he brings out a candle and tells us he'll try to keep the paparazzi away. I said something about how I wished I had my camera and 2 minutes later there he is taking pictures of our romantic lunch date on his front porch. :) Seriously, this guy is funny when he wants to be! So, we ate our candlelight subway on the porch with the view of the city....today I love my job.
As a side note, I JUST got the rejection e-mail today saying they didn't hire me for that other position with the church - there's a shock! But it's all good, because today I love my job!
Tithing settlement has never stopped amazing me. Every year I'm shocked to see that total number and realize that I made 10 times that much in 1 year. Then I always wonder what happened to all of that money, because I don't usually have much to show for it. This year was no different, except that number reflected 2 incomes, and blew me away twice as much as normal! At this time of year, I think one of the blessings of tithing is taking a look at all that you've been given in a years' time. We are so lucky to have good jobs, and to be able to support ourselves. For that reason, along with a lot of others, I'm thankful for tithing.
I LOVE living close to our family and friends, I love that we get to visit the people we love all the time, and I LOVE that we don't get lonely. However, I am one those people who just gets close to a few people and is content with that. I never had a ton of friends, just a few really good friends. That's the way I like it, I'm uncomfortable in crowds, I like knowing somebody really well, and I'd far rather hang out with 1 person I know VERY well and love dearly than a group of people I get along with just fine. Josh on the other hand gets anxious when he's not doing something or going somewhere or talking to people. He loves to get a big group of people together and play games until nobody is having fun anymore. He loves to watch people interact with each other, and he loves to have 20 conversations/activities going on at 1 time. I think it supports his ADD.
Sunday was our last Sunday that was ours for the next month and a half. From now until we move we have plans EVERY single Sunday, and most of them are Christmas parties or Birthday celebrations. So, I was thrilled that I could cook us dinner, hang out, play some 2 player games, and just enjoy each others' company without having to worry about going anywhere, getting home late, or anything else that's stressful.
Josh really enjoyed the morning like that, but we'd only been home from church for an hour when the whining started.
"Are you sure there isn't somewhere we should be right now?" He asked
"No, we have tithing settlement in 45 minutes, but that's all today."
"Isn't' it somebody's birthday?"
"Are you sure Jamie and Cameron don't want to come and play?" Before church when he realized we had no plans, we both got excited and decided we'd force Jamie and Cameron to come play games with us. We even put bottles of water in the fridge in preparation (Jamie hates Utah water, and only drinks bottled water). We were so prepared. Then I remembered they would be in Washington, or on their way home from Washington, or unpacking from their trip to Washington. I told Josh that we weren't allowed to bother them within the first 3 hours that they were back. He was sad.
"I'm not sure they don't' want to come play, but I'm sure we're not going to pounce on them the second they get home! Sometimes people just need some time to recover from a trip, and we have to let them do that."
"Do we have any other friends?"
"Nope. Looks like you're stuck with me today." I joked - mostly.
"OK. Wanna play greed?"
So it went, for the whole afternoon. He kept asking if we could call Jamie and Cameron, I kept saying no, then we'd decide we're going to be lost when they move to Washington and we'd better learn how to make some new friends, just in case of emergencies like this.
I crave that kind of time with Josh, just the two of us hanging out, nowhere to go, no responsibilities, no distractions. He hates it, he goes crazy, gets bored, doesn't want to do anything, can't handle doing nothing, it's bad. We wound up going to bed pretty early because he was so stir crazy and can't handle being awake with nothing to do. Poor kid - I hope that once we have 10 zillion kids running around out house that will satisfy his need for something to be happening at all times.