The power of suggestion

This morning I got a call from a guy that used to work with us and now he doesn't anymore. He made some observations about my boss (the one with all the money) that kindof concerned me. They weren't new concepts to me, but they hit me harder today for some reason. The man I work for is scary. It's scary to work for him because he has zero loyalty and zero conscience. He is heartless and ruthless and working for him makes me nervous. He sues past employees and anybody that influences his decisions in any way. So, I've been content where I am in the company because I don't have any power or authority with him, so I figure he can't sue me. I'm just a secretary and he doesn't rely on me or my "expertise" for anything.

Today when Gabe called ranting and raving about the greed of David I asked what we were referring to. Gabe said that David is throwing people under the bus and it makes him nervous. I told Gabe I agreed and that's why I don't ever want to be in his position or Kim's because they have risky jobs. Gabe said that he is going to find another millionaire to play with and get out of this position as quick as possible because he hates the lack of ethics, morals, and the ability to maintain a relationship. I agreed and kindof laughed at his ideal of the "moral-millionaire" and he said they're out there and he will find them or become one. And when he does he will tell me where he is and take me with him. I told him that sounded great and I'd leave in a heartbeat. That was probably a bad thing to say, but I did anyway. And it's true.

When I was looking for jobs with the church this job suddenly became unbearable. I couldn't handle the people I worked with, the job I did, the lack of communication, the mean-hearted cruelty and the horribleness. Then when I found out I didn't get the position and suddenly my current job wasn't so bad anymore, I could totally handle it. I even liked it some days.

Enter Gabe.

One comment about how HE'S uncomfortable and suddenly I'm ready to cry and tear out my hair again. I HATE the way things are run here. I HATE the dishonesty, the griping, the whining, the whole thing. I HATE the egos and the greed and I desperately want to get out of it. I can't handle it any more - right now, at this moment I'm ready to storm out the door, break a statue, say a lot of mean words and tell them all exactly what I think and how much I despise this shifty shady business. I hate that we refuse to provide things to tenants, I hate that we go into a contract with every intent of breaking it. I hate that we want to just not define it and pretend we can't figure out why they thought we'd do what we said we would.

However, I'm trying hard to remember about being nice, forgiving 70 times 7, patience being a virtue, and seeing others as He does. So, today I'll do all I can to do all of those things, but oh man, it's taking everything in me!