Baptisms and inspriation

You know things in the church just seem to work out and happen at exactly the right time sometimes.

This whole house thing has been more than a little stressful at our house. Josh is freaking out because it's a lot of money, and he worries about money anyway, so committing to that much money is terrifying to him. He also has a hard time committing to things, especially financial things. Naturally this is a hard thing. It's not as scary for me, and I'm not sure why. On one hand I'm scared to death, and on the other hand I just think it's part of life. Yes, you go into huge amounts of debt to buy a house, and then it pays off when it appreciates and you're good to go. So, I need to be more understanding and stressed and he needs to have more faith and trust.

The other conflict here is about documents, signing, the whole home buying process. Working for David I've seen all of these documents before, I've prepared and reviewed them before, so it isn't so hard for me to look at something and know what it says. But, all of this is new to Josh. So, I hand him 26 pages of "loan docs" to look at and sign and he kinda gets overloaded. It doesn't help that he is doing this, thinking about it, and reviewing numbers in the middle of the night because he's not home or available any other time. So, last night I pulled up the documents, printed them all up and had Josh sign them. Then he started asking questions. I was incredibly frustrated because I've kinda felt like he's dragging his feet and doesn't really want to do this, and I don't want to force him to. Argh! Anyway, we started to go through it, and he immediately fell asleep - adding to my aggravation. I gave up, I stopped answering questions, and just got mad and went to bed. This morning on the way to work we talked about it more, and I told him that he was making me crazy and he just needed to decide! He said he would by next week when we walk through the home again. So, hopefully it will be better then, but until then he's stressed out and I'm going crazy because of it.

In the middle of all this, we are trying to recognize and appreciate that the rest of life goes on. We still have jobs, school, and church. We're trying to keep up with it all, but it's a little overwhelming at times...the missionaries came over tonight and told me that we have a baptism next week in our ward. It's exciting, but it means I have a lot of coordinating to do. So, I got out my missionary book to make some phone calls (schedule the church and the font filling guy) and my book fell open to this article that Mom-Reilley gave us about marriage. I started reading it and it was all about understanding and commitment and patience and love and all that jazz. It was a great article, and it made me remember why we got married and that we don't have to fight about money and houses because we still love each other. So, tonight I am thankful for the missionaries and thankful that I left that article in my missionary binder AND I'm thankful for Aubrey who is getting baptised next Wednesday (assuming I can take care of all the scheduling).
Since we're still deciding about the house, it's hard to be too excited about it; mostly because I want it SOOO bad that I don't want to sway my decision. I still struggle so much with recognizing the different between a "no" answer to prayers and satan trying to dissuade you from making a good choice. So, I don't know whether to take all of this stress and worry as a prompting or sign that we shouldn't do it, or to just recognize that it's a big step that is bound to bring worry and stress and push through it anyway. Life is hard sometimes.