Social dilemma

Blogging has been one of my favorite hobbies. But it has also presented me with a whole bunch of new social dilemmas.

At what point do you stop “lurking” and make a comment on somebody’s blog? If you do it right away, you can do the “hey, I just found your blog!” thing, but the longer you’ve been lurking the harder it becomes to “come out”.

It’s just not as easy to say “hey! I know every detail of your life for the past year because I knew you had a blog, but you didn’t know that. So, I thought that I’d just pop up now and say ‘hey’ after 12 months full blown stalking. Don’t worry, we’ll catch up sometime.”

It’s just a sensitive subject, and one that gets quite a bit of thought from me.  I know that when somebody comments on my blog and says “hey I’ve been reading!” I think “yay! A new friend!” or “awww…..somebody cares enough about me to read my ridiculous ramblings” and I have never ever thought “dang. They found me!” or “what a creep, I can’t believe they’re reading all of the intimate details of my life that I only want to share with…..the entire internet.” So I decided to assume that other people would probably feel flattered or loved instead of creeped out and bugged.

But that’s not the only problem.

Just how intimate should this blog be? Well, I decided that honest and open blogs are usually more fun to read (and write). So, mostly I don’t keep secrets from The Blog (yes, it’s a proper noun…it’s pretty much a member of our family). But do I really dare tell the entire internet that we’re having a baby? When we just found out today?

My sisters don’t even tell us until they’re 3 months along (because that’s when it’s safe…right?) and when we first started trying, I told Josh I didn’t even want to tell our moms until we were 3 months along because it’s scary. And once you tell people, they know. And if something goes wrong, you have to un-tell people and that’s a horrible thing and would break your heart over and over again. Then Josh reminded me that if we don’t say anything, and then something goes wrong, you’ll probably tell them at the point anyway – right? Because it’s your mom! I tell my mom when I have a cold, there’s no way I wouldn’t mention something THAT huge right?

But that’s your mom. So even if you tell your mom, or your sisters, then you’ve just told your closest friends and family right?

But what about all of these people – most of whom I haven’t seen in at least 5 years. Most of whom I never even talk to. A few of whom I’ve never even MET. But I still feel like they are my closest friends? What’s the appropriate length of time to announce something like pregnancy? Do I still have to wait 3 months? What about how I’m whining about every second that I’m childless? Am I supposed to lie and keep up the façade? What if I “come out” and someone tells the RS president. And then the Bishop. And then I’m on that list that goes around in RS of “upcoming events” for people to know about? At that point can I really say that anybody doesn’t know? If the entire ward knows, the family knows, the extended family knows, who’s left to tell, really?

Well, there’s my boss. And that’s about it. But fortunately (or unfortunately in this situation) I love my boss dearly, and I’d consider her a friend. We’re friends on Facebook….which brings up an entirely different problem.

I’m not ready for Facebook to know – because there are entirely too many people there who I don’t know enough….but a blog is somehow more intimate. And I’m OK with The Blog knowing.

But the underlying problem remains. I think you are all my very closest friends, are you really? I mean, if I die will you come to my funeral? Are we that close?