Da Belly: 37 Weeks

This is 37 weeks:

We are now full term, fully swollen and getting stupider by the day.

Josh freaked out a little (OK a lot) when I told him this kid could come anytime now and it would be fine. That's when he decided to tear my house apart....defense mechanism perhaps?

Baby is growing, moving, and squishing my guts out. If it weren't for the fact that my ankles are 3 times their normal size I'd guess that every pound I gain (a lot all of a sudden) is going straight to baby.

Dr. Man refuses to tell me that I'll go at least to my due date, but I really think he's just saying "I could go early" that so I don't kick him in the face.

"How to have a baby" teacher insists that I'll go a week past my due date and that all babies hate to be naked, love to be swaddled and NEED to be breast fed or they will immediately die.

Being pregnant rocks.

September FB Posts

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likes asparagus for lunch.

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can't sleep.

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How can I be so tired so often? Really, this is unreasonable.

That's when I smacked her with my belly.....

Poor Katie.

There she sat on the front row in RS (it's because she came in late....probably not because she wanted to be there).

I always sit on the 2nd row, close enough for me to be able to pay attention, but not on the front row because I'm scared of being stepped on.

After the lesson (in which Katie made some fantastic and thoughtful remarks) I started to make my way toward the door.

I waddle/side-shuffled toward the door trying to get my church bag over my shoulder while taking baby-steps sideways through the aisle of chairs. My flip-flops flipped and flopped loudly because I don't believe in wearing flip-flops to church but they don't make real shoes as big as my swollen canoes feet. Since I don't believe in wearing flip-flops at church it's necessary for them to flip and flop loudly to attract the attention of everyone in the building.

As I approached the end of the row (where Katie was sitting on the chair in front of me) I turned to start walking forward and put a stop to the side-shuffle/waddle combo.

That's when my big fat belly smacked her in the head.

She turned, looked up at me, and laughed out loud.

I bumbled and tried my best to discreetly apologize. "I'M SO SORRY!" I bellowed discreet isn't my thing. "I STILL CAN'T GET USED TO HOW HUGE I AM!"

Fortunately she's been pregnant before and laughed some more while telling me I'll never get used to my belly being that big. Ever.

That's unfortunate, it would be nice to not ram my kid into the heads of unsuspecting victims.

The good, the bad, the ugly

The good: Today is the day that we're officially full-term. Now that the house is torn apart, I'm as far from "ready" as I can possibly get, and I have officially decided not to buy a Halloween Costume for Thomas...well, since Murphy (the one with the law) and I are such good friends, I'm glad that it's officially OK to have this baby now.

The bad: Costco Pizza joined the ranks with blueberry poptarts, yogurt, & fresh-mex tater tots, on the list of "nastiest things to vomit". I may never eat it again. Poor Costco - they might go bankrupt.

The ugly: Painting the baseboards requires moving all of the furniture in the world. Where's a girl supposed to sit?

Yom Kippur anyone?

Betcha didn't know (or care) that today is Yom Kippur. Unless you're my little brother, then you did know and care.

Josh works for a big national company. It's called Redbox. Maybe you've heard of it?

Redbox is not run by a Mormon. That means they don't celebrate Pioneer day.

I work for a big national company in Utah. It's called "The Mormons" (no, not legally, but in our house it is). Maybe you've heard of it?

"The Mormons" is run by a Mormon. That means we don't celebrate Yom Kippur.

That means Josh is celebrating Yom Kippur all alone at home today. Tragic isn't it?

If only we'd realized this was a Holiday (as in, paid time off!) maybe the two of us could've celebrated properly together by fasting, stinkily, in bare feet with no money and no sex. (really, read the link. that's how the celebrate - man they know how to throw a PART-AYYYY!)

Unfortunately it was late last night when Josh informed me he had the day off. So, I'm celebrating with my shoes off (nylons on DANG it!) by eating more food than you ever thought one woman could eat, and watching my feet swell a little more with each bite of blueberry frozen yogurt.

Meanwhile, Josh is celebrating by painting my baseboards and trim.

What about you? How did you celebrate Yom Kippur?