"One of these things is not like the other...."

Can you tell what is inherently wrong with one of these items?

No? Me neither!!! That's why I purchased an apple slicer just like that one last night. I went to the grocery store, minding my own business, found a nice heavy duty, sturdy apple slicer and bought it. Who would've thought that it was the most unreasonable thing I'd do ever? Well, Josh would've thought.

While at the grocery store, I made a LOT of 'extra' purchases, no we didn't NEED all of these things, but I wanted them, and nobody was there to stop me. Plus we don't have a car payment, so if I want to buy Halloween candy even though we won't be home to pass it out, I can do that. :) I went a little nuts, bought a ton of Halloween candy (if you're on a sugar low, come on over), and an apple slicer.

Josh's uncle gave us half a box of green apples, I like green apples, but I hate eating them unless you cut them up, and I hate taking the time to cut them up. So, I got a slicer so they wouldn't go bad, I'd hate to waste all of those apples.

When Josh got home from school he asked what I had done while he was gone.

"I went to the missionary meeting and the grocery store." I said. "I did NOT go running, and I'm in big trouble for that." I quickly added. I like to make it clear that I know I did a bad thing before somebody else makes it clear.

"Did you remember to get milk at the grocery store?" He asked.

"Of course I did! I did a GREAT job shoppin' tonight."

"You did? What did you get?" Now you can hear the tension in his voice. I can tell what he's thinking is How much did you spend and how much of it can I take back without you noticing. Luckily I opened ALL of the candy as soon as I got home and put it in my decorative Halloween bowl in case of this tone of voice.

"Lookit lookit lookit! Isn't this cool!" I proudly display my new apple slicer in a pathetic attempt to block his view from the GINORMOUS bowl of candy behind me.

"It's square." he points out.

"Yes. It is square, good observation Joshua, you can put one gold star on your chart." I teased.

"But apples are round."

"...." The excitement drains from my face, my lip drops, and my eyes get big forming the ultimate sad/pouty face as the realization kicked in that I had made a useless purchase, and I was so excited about it! "They tricked me. Why would they do that?"

Josh starts to laugh and gives me a hug. "It's OK sometimes people make silly things, like square apple cutters. And sometimes people even buy them."

"It still cuts apples..." I whimper.

Josh while hugging and comforting me sees the bowl of candy. "You punk! You bought candy! Holy cow you bought candy!"

The corners of my mouth quickly turn up in a guilty mischievous 'wasn't me' smile. "I like candy! Plus it's Halloween, that's the whole point!"

He proceeds to chase me around the house trying to tickle me until I cry. As usual he succeeds.

Looking at it now, I realize that a square apple cutter really doesn't make much sense, but why do they even make them that way? I'm sure I'm not the only human to own one. As for me, I'm enjoying my perfectly sliced apples.