Job update

After my interview on Friday, I thought they'd let us know on Friday who they picked for the job. Then Jamie told me that they still hadn't decided and they all decided to sleep on it aka pray about it until Monday.

Now it's Monday, it's after noon and I still haven't heard, which I'm 99% sure means I didn't get it. Every time I say that it sounds more and more harsh. They didn't pick me. I guess there was a 50/50 chance, and I've been praying that whatever is best for all involved (even the other applicant and my current boss) would happen. So, at this point I just have to trust that whatever was best did happen and be OK with it. It kinda sucks, slap in the face style because it means they just didn't think I was good enough. Something about me, my skills, my personality, something I said, something they felt, there's just something there that made me not get it. I guess that's life though, and there are probably worse things.

I still have my job, and Kim loves me, and I'll probably get a bonus for staying until the end of the year, and when/if we ever decide to have babies, I can probably work part time, and some from home and this job will be easier to work with post-baby.

So, while I feel this enormous sense of rejection, I also feel like now is the time for me to just have faith that everything will work out for the better. We'll be OK and we'll like being OK. I am going to wait until I hear for sure from them before I say anything to Kim, but I'm hoping that she'll be OK with me staying, I hope I didn't just damage myself that way. Again with the faith.