FOR THE LOVE!!!!

OK rejection hurts, but it sucks worse to be rejected for the same thing multiple times. That REALLY sucks.

2 years ago when I applied for this same position, I didn't get it (obviously) and just this week I've been doing the roller coaster of guessing what it means when they call or don't call. So on Friday I was SURE I didn't get it, then Jamie said they hadn't chosen yet. Then on Monday I was POSITIVE I didn't get it, but Jamie said they still hadn't offered it to anyone. So then I got excited again and on Wednesday I really found out I didn't get it, then they called and asked for my bishop's name so they could call for references. Now I was just confused and bugged. They need to say SOMETHING real. Geez!!! Then I talked to Jamie and she or Janet overheard something about it and we knew they had offered it to the other girl, but she was still deciding. So I knew I wasn't their first choice which is sad and hurts my feelings and all of that, but that's life. Pretty much my week has looked like this:

Friday night: bummed they don't love me enough.
Monday night: crying because they don't love me enough.
Tuesday night: eyes glued to the phone to see if I missed a call.
Wednesday night: throwing the phone at the wall because it isn't ringing.
Thursday night: rejection. the ultimate slap in the face.

Now this afternoon I got a call from Rob Carter in the central HR office at the Church. He called because he was given my resume by Arbra (the lady who hires for CES) and I came very highly recommended and they'd love to see me apply for the position since I didn't get the other one I applied for. Fortunately I let him leave a message saying all that so when I heard it he didn't hear me say: "What?!?!?!" :) Anyway, I looked at the position online and it pays more than the one I originally applied for. So, I called Josh to see what he thought about applying for another position.

"I got a call from the church, they don't want me but referred me to another department that might want me."
"Cool." He said.
"Should I apply?" I asked
"Do you want it?"
I hate it when he's reasonable like that.
"Well...I don't know if I can handle being rejected again. And I don't know that I have the time to apply again and go through the whole thing. And it's not the job.....but it does pay more...."
"Isn't' the whole point of THE job that it's in the church office building and working for nice people instead of mean uncle David?"
"yeah....."
"OK. Then why wouldn't you want to take the same benefits with more money?"
"I'll go apply right now."
So I did. And then I called the guy back and let him know I had applied and appreciated his time in considering my application. He asked if I'd already taken that awful personality test and I said yes. He said great because they were trying to make a decision on this as soon as possible because they already listed it once and they just relisted it for some reason.

So, now I'm starting all over! Geez! Jamie keeps telling me that the guys all loved me and it was hard to decide, but they all think the world of me. I think they're obligated to say that because they're nice and mormon and they aren't going to say "well....you just weren't quite cool enough, if only you had dressed nicer, or had better hair, or maybe if you didn't smack your lips when you talk..." so instead they say "it was a really hard choice...blah blah blah". Anyway, hopefully this one won't be a month of drama and crying and excitement. Hopefully they'll love me or hate me right away.

I think it would be funny to get this other job because it's better than the one I thought I wanted, I guess that's just how life works sometimes though, right?