More job updates

I have moral issues with my job. I hate helping my boss take money from people that I don't feel like is his. Yesterday was a perfect example.

We bought a building downtown a couple of months ago. About 2 weeks ago we got a sizable check in the mail from the County as a tax refund for last year. We didn't own the building last year and didn't pay the taxes that were being refunded. We also didn't appeal the tax value to get the refund. But we deposited the check knowing that the best way to find out whose money it was would be to take it. The rightful owner would quickly be in touch with us.

Well, it worked. We deposited the check, and the guy who did the appeal for the previous owner contacted us. He wants his check back. Now, in the mean time I called the county to ask how that generally works and they said that whoever owns the property at the time they cut a refund check, gets the check. So, my boss thinks this money is his. What I see happening is a legal battle, we eventually win, charge the previous owner for our extraordinarily high legal fees, keep the tax refund and emerge triumphant. Given that we didn't pay the taxes that are being refunded OR do the work to get the refund, that money doesn't belong to us. So, the moral dilemma begins. Blah. What am I supposed to do?

Get a new job. That's what. Yesterday in the middle of my run (yes, I'm still running/aerobicing faithfully) I got a call with the ominous church phone number on the caller ID. I answered, all out of breath and trying not to let it show. I have an interview scheduled for Thursday. So, wish me luck and hopefully it's a perfect job and they love me. We'll see.

Why I love my husband

There is an ever-growing list of reasons that I never want to live without my husband. It started with little, shallow, simple things that I just enjoyed about him:
He smiles at me, even in the morning time
He's a good kisser
He buys me flowers for no good reason
He pushed me in the water, and let me push him back
He is good at emotional issues
He likes to play games
He loves the mountains

After we got married, my list got longer and filled with less shallow things.
Temple covenants
The babies I know we'll have someday
He takes care of me
He truly loves me, no matter what
I truly love him no matter what
We can do hard things (problem solving, communication, etc)
He is patient while I try to learn new things

Now that we've been married for SOOO long (1 year and 3 months) and are practically professionals at the whole thing, I have the deepest truest meaning of love yet.
I can't sleep without him at home.

The night before he left I started getting nervous and didn't sleep very well. Since then I think I have maybe slept for 5 hours, total. My bed doesn't feel right, I'm either too hot or too cold, I miss his body temperature, I miss his smell, and I miss his breath on my head. My sheets stay too still, and there is ZERO movement in the middle of the night. I can't handle it. I'm losing my mind, I'm too tired to function and too restless to sleep. It's a VERY bad thing. Eventually I'll have to get used to it because I know he can't be with me every night for the rest of my life, but I really can't sleep. Hopefully tonight will be better, but so far we're 0 for 2. A bad sign.

Meanwhile he's in Chicago being treated to anything he wants, chillin' and attending "meetings". In the middle of the day yesterday, I asked him what his next meeting was going to be. His response? "I'm not sure, something about bumper cars. I don't really get it though." It's hard to be him.

When he called last night I asked how his bumper car meeting was, he was all stoked, "it was like a cross between bumper cars and Lacrosse, SOO cool! We had a great time, and they've been feeding us so well. Every meal is incredible." He continued with all of the things he loves about Chicago while I tried really hard to be happy for him and not bitter that I'm all alone sleepless and turning into a crazy cat hermit lady.

Last night I broke my hermit spell and went to his parents house to carve pumpkins. It was great to see his family and GREAT not to be alone all night long. Tonight I'm going to my parents' house for some more Halloween fun, but I've completely lost all desire to participate in any curricular activity - extra or otherwise. I'll enjoy it once I'm there, but for now, I just want to go home, watch a good chick flick, eat a boiled potato for dinner and take a nap. Maybe I'll be able to sleep at my parents' house. Sigh.

Lonely Again

There's this song by Christine Lavin called "I Want to be Lonely Again" and it ALWAYS makes me laugh. Back when I was lonely I'd listen to it to make myself feel better because I know there are people who wish they were lonely, but it never really did the trick. The lyrics are hilarious, and they ALWAYS make me laugh, but I've never really wanted to be lonely.

Our weekend was kindof crazy, a LOT of emotions and drama, but Sunday was a very good day, and it all made me remember how much I love my husband. And now I'm realizing how much I depend on him. I already knew I really like having him around, but he does a lot for me and I have the feeling I'm going to learn to appreciate that while he's gone.

I dropped him off at the airport this morning so he can go to Chicago for the week. He'll be gone until Friday. That seems like a LOOONG ways away, and I kept trying to convince myself I wouldn't even notice because I never see him anyway, but the truth is that I like living with him. I'm really bad at living alone. I've never ever lived alone, in fact, I've spent very little time alone in my own house and I'm really not good at it.

When all of my roommates would go home for Christmas I would LOVE the fact that everything was right where I left it when I got home from work. But that only lasted like 1 day before I couldn't WAIT for someone to come home. It's too quiet, I don't feel like doing anything, and I'm unproductive and unhappy.

For example, today I can leave work anytime I want. I don't have to wait for a ride home, and I don't have to leave in a rush when he gets here too early. I can just leave when I'm ready. And since we had to wake up at "O'dark 30" I didn't' make myself lunch. So I went to go to lunch and realized I didn't really care where I went. I went upstairs to ask if anybody wanted anything while I was out hoping that they'd tell me where to go for lunch. Nobody wanted anything except for Neil who just wanted chocolate. So, i had to choose all by myself. What's worse is that I'll have to do it again tonight! And, when I get home he won't be there to look at our junk mail with me, or to talk to until it's too dark to run. So, maybe I'll run tonight, but I'd rather be talking with him. I won't have to wait up until he gets home from school, so maybe I'll go to bed ridiculously early.

The thing I'll miss the most though is reading and praying with him. We've been really bad at that since we got married, but after our Marriage Enrichment weekend we've been reading together every night and praying together twice a day. I have to admit that I'm kindof excited that I'll miss that, I think it means we're doing something right, and that makes me feel good; but I don't wanna be lonely again.

Some people can't wait for their husbands to be gone, so they can get something done, and maybe I'll become one of those wives, but for now, I can't stand the thought of coming home to an empty house, washing only own cereal bowl in the morning, sleeping all by myself, and not having any hot lunch dates all week long. I'm bad at being alone, and I sure hope I don't have to do it very often. I'm motivated by people, and I find my husband to be particularly motivating to me. The more I'm with him, the better I want to be. So, I'm hoping that I have a decent week and don't just sit around the whole week - trying to stay busy....or at least social. :)

Buy me a rose...

It's official, I have the world's most romantic husband. I feel the need to say this every once-in-a-while because one time I screwed up. Bad. Real bad in fact.

After we'd been in our current ward for a few months the bishop called and asked us to speak in Sacrament Meeting. Since we are the ward missionaries they wanted us to speak about missionary work. Hard for me, not so hard for Josh. Since it was our introductory talk, I was excited to tell all about us. The more I thought about it though, the less there was to tell. We aren't anything that special. We just have this incredibly normal average life. Because we're so average, I figured I didn't need to tell any major stories about us.

I am not comfortable speaking in that kind of situation, so I was awkward anyway, and when I stood up I started to introduce us, I knew I would say something about how we met. I also knew that I am the kind of person that likes to make people laugh at the beginning of my talk.

One time, I had to give a talk in Sacrament meeting and asked for the input of my family members who are all very eloquent speaker. Katy (my older sister) told me that you always have to tell a joke. So we started telling jokes. She told me the one about 3 guys stranded on an island.

These 3 guys are stranded, and it turns out the island they are on is full of cannibals. The cannibals tell the guys that they each have one last request before they're killed, eaten and their skin is used to line the cannibal canoes. The first guy asks for one last meal - his favorite. His last wish is granted, the cannibals eat him and skin him for their canoe. The second guy wishes to see his wife one last time. His wish is granted, the cannibals eat him and skin him for their canoe. The last guy wishes for a fork. The puzzled cannibals comply with his last request. He takes the fork and stabs himself all over with it screaming the whole time "you're not gonna make a canoe out of me!!!"

We thought it was a funny joke and prided ourselves on being able to tie any 2 topics together (it's a debate thing). How do you link this funny joke to a talk in Sacrament meeting on commandments? We tried and tried, and finally, somebody (I'm pretty sure it was Katy) came up with the brilliant idea. You see, this joke can be used at the beginning of any religious talk. Any time any place. The link is beautifully simple. Just add "and thus we see the importance of being holy." to the end of it and you have the perfect attention getting device

After a lot of discussion, we decided that the joke would be OK to tell over the pulpit in our ward even though it was a little inappropriate. I told the joke in sacrament meeting and everybody laughed and from that moment on, I decided that I would always say something funny in my talks no matter what. It can ALWAYS be done.

This introductory talk would be no different.

I started "When I was a little girl I couldn't wait for the day I got to introduce my cute family to our new ward. I really wanted to tell my incredibly romantic story of how I met my incredibly romantic husband. Instead I just married Josh." Laughter of course. I glanced back and winked at Josh because I know he knows I'm kidding. I continue saying that we met at EFY and fell madly in love 3 years later and got married and are just doing life right now and went on with my talk. When I sat down with Josh I nudged him and told him that I love him. He laughed at my joke and loved me back.

That afternoon after church he said that he had been teased in Priesthood about not being romantic. He had started feeling bad about the whole thing and I had really hurt his feelings. This was NOT my intent and I felt really bad. Since then he's been on a quest to prove that he is romantic. And I've been on a quest to appreciate the romantic things he does.

In my defense what I meant was that we have a very normal life. We're average. We met, and fell in love and got married and are living happily ever after. I didn't have a fairy godmother come and give me a beautiful ball gown. I didn't live and sing with the woodland creatures about the evil witch who wanted me to be miserable. We didn't emerge triumphant from the dragon-guarded castle. We just met and fell in love and got married. Very un-disney like in fact. Now, that doesn't mean that my husband isn't romantic, because he is. Unfortunately, that isn't what I said.

Every once in a while I get flowers for no good reason. Yesterday was a particularly stressful day at work and I was just kinda grumpy. Josh came to pick me up and take me home, and when we walked in the door there is this beautiful bouquet of roses in a vase on the counter. I mean BEAUTIFUL. I asked whose they were and he got this crookedy smile on his face and shrugged. He loves me and I know it. If that isn't romantic, I don't know what is.

Amazingly enough even after a beautiful evening and looking my roses from my husband who loves me this morning, I still woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My cute mother-in-law must have known because she sent me this in an e-mail.

Bless my sweet heart

This whole job thing is making me nuts and I'm sure that I'm not the only one.

This morning I checked my e-mail and found one from the ever faithful Jamie. "anything you care to share?" was the subject line. Through the course of a few e-mails, she said she got an e-mail from her boss that he sent to her department forwarded from the HR person who was hiring for their open position (Arbra). Arbra said that the central HR Department with the church had hired me for their Senior Secretary position. Now, this was news to me considering that I applied late Friday afternoon and haven't even had a phone call from the guy hiring. They haven't interviewed me, not over the phone or any other way.

Don't you worry, I spot the irony that the Central HR Department was the one who broke the news to me that I didn't get the job with CES and CES breaks the news to me that apparently I was hired without my knowledge for a position with Central HR. Who wouldda thought? Brings whole new meaning to the phrase "let not thy right hand know what thy left hand doeth".

In real life, since I didn't know quite what to do, I called the guy I spoke with last week and left him a message just asking about the status on the job and didn't hear anything back from him. So, here I am, back in limbo.

Jamie told the other guys she works with that I didn't have a clue what was going on and they all started to feel bad for sending it around. Of course they certainly don't need to, it doesn't harm me at all. Jamie tried to tell one of the guys that I really don't care, and he said "bless her sweet heart" I think it's funny that I get the pity from all these guys that don't know me at all. I also think it's great that no matter where I apply in the church, Jamie will ALWAYS know before I do what they've decided, even if they haven't really decided anything. :) It's good to have friends in high places.

I think of all the times I've had my "sweet heart" blessed this is my favorite. Gramma Huggie blesses my sweet heart all the time, and I love that too - but there's just something about having a stranger bless my heart....I think it's good for a person to have their heart blessed by a stranger, and because of that, I now vow to start blessing strangers' sweet hearts on a regular basis...here's hopin' I don't get arrested.

Love Languages

When Josh and I first started dating there were a lot of things that were new to me. I don't believe I had ever been in a relationship quite like this one before. We were honest with each other, we didn't play a lot of games (like "come and find me", "hard to get", "what are you really feeling" kinds of games), and for the first time in my life I was actually dating someone. We didn't pretend it was anything other than it was, which was a brand new concept to me; and it was something I REALLY loved.

When we first went out, he was dating another girl from EFY, and I knew that. After the first time hanging out, I knew I was whooped, but I didn't know if he thought of me as just a friend. Then after he kissed me I made him promise me he would never ever EVER lie to me and I promised him the same thing. I was so worried that he was just flirting with me out of obligation because he didn't want to hurt my feelings and I thought he still really liked Amber (the other girl).

That night defined our relationship. That's how it's been ever since. I truly believe that he doesn't lie to me. I believe him when he says he loves me, and I believe him when he says he's frustrated with me. :) That concept was brand new to me. That you could tell a person who you cared about that you didn't like the way they were acting, or that they had hurt your feelings and that you could move past that. You could ask for the things you wanted, and get them and still enjoy them.

Since that time, we've gone to a lot of seminars, lectures, classes about communication, emotions, relationships, all that stuff and we've learned a lot of things. Now we are so good at all of those things that I forget that there was a time I didn't understand it. I sometimes forget that we are lucky to understand and be good at communication. A lot of people don't get it. I thought that emotional maturity came with general maturity because it did for me.

Over the weekend we had our marriage enrichment renewal night, and there were some older couples who came and I realized that like it was for me, this stuff is a foreign concept to them. They've been married for years, they live with their spouses, who they love; and they never learned how to have that kind of really open honest relationship. Just like it was a brand new thing for me, it's a brand new thing for them much later in the their lives.

After General Conference, my manager/boss lady decided that in her family, they needed to start a "good book". Each week, every family member has to notice 1 nice thing that every other family member did for them. She has teenagers, so there's contention in her house on a regular basis and she's trying to solve it. So, they started the "good book". All week she's been looking for the something in each of her kids and her husband to put in their "good book" and she's noticed some things, but yesterday she said she was really nervous because she hadn't found anything for her husband yet. Last night was the night, so I asked her about it this morning and she said it went surprisingly well. They each seemed to have a hard time with 1 family member but were all able to find 1 nice thing about everyone.

I asked what she finally came up with for her husband and she said that when it was her turn for him she said "I really wanted to find something other than house stuff that you've done (they've been remodeling their house for the past 6 years and it's always in various states of completion, a REAL source of stress for her) but I couldn't find anything else that you've done for me. So, I appreciate that you worked on patching the walls in the laundry room."

The real interesting part was that then she told me she was frustrated with what he said. She's a work-a-holic and runs all day every day and never has time to sit down. They just returned from a 2 week vacation to Hawaii where they just spent time together - they didn't work, they didn't run kids places, they didn't go to church meetings, they were just together so he got used to that. Since she got back, she's been doing a million things a minute and hasn't really had time for him. His thing that he noticed for the week about her was that she spent time with him. When she told me that, she was absolutely amazed that of all the things she'd done for him all week long, the only thing he could think of noticing was that she spent time with him? Which she hadn't even done? She was frustrated and I think she felt unappreciated because she's been working so hard on so many things and he didn't even mention them.

I told her that on Sunday we had our RS/Priesthood lesson on strengthening marriage and Josh and I were talking about the people in our ward and their love languages. We could tell by the comments made what love language everyone was, so we talked about other couples and laughed a little because the wife said in RS that she shows love to her husband by doing the laundry, then the husband said in Priesthood that he shows love to his wife by putting his arm around her in church. Classic misunderstanding because she's probably frustrated and doesn't feel loved because he didn't take out the trash, and he's probably frustrated and not feeling loved because she didn't hold his hand on the way into church. And the funny thing neither of them know! They go through the entire lives not understanding that they are both trying to show love in their language and not understanding what the other is doing in their language.

The trick then becomes learning a new language, it takes time, and effort, and selflessness; but it's SOO worth it! Josh and I are constantly reminding each other what our love languages are and it seriously helps to be reminded, to know that we're just different and we're both trying to learn the other's language.

So, after telling my boss about love languages, I asked if she'd read Gary Chapman's book. She said she hadn't even heard of it, which surprised me. I take all of these cool things I learn about for granted and assume that it's old news to everyone else because it is to me. I quickly explained the concept, and she just sat there, kindof surprised. I told her I thought it was really interesting that of all the things she'd worked her butt off to do all week long, the thing her husband noticed was probably a 5 minute moment that she spent with him. And of all the time he tried to spend with her, the only thing she noticed was when he fixed the wall in the laundry room. She went back upstairs kindof in awe.

I had told her one of the examples from our ward, and how frustrating it was to the wife to be working her butt off and have it go seemingly unnoticed by her husband who keeps asking for me and can't seem to see how hard she's working for him!!! And how frustrating it was for the husband whose wife couldn't find the time for a quick kiss goodbye!

Mostly, the conversation opened my eyes to how thankful I am to know what I know. To be blessed with a husband who teaches me these things and who is constantly trying to better our relationship. Today I realized that some people who know a lot of things and are very successful, sometimes just haven't learned some basic relationship concepts that would make them 100 times happier.

Friday Nights

So on Friday I made Josh go get pumpkins from my mom's garden. Little did I know he's bring home the biggest pumpkins I have EVER seen in my entire life!!!

After an incredibly stressful work day, I was glad that Jamie and Cameron were coming over for some good old fashioned pumpkin carving excitement. Jamie took one look at the pumpkins and said she would be just as happy watching the rest of us carve instead of carving one herself. We gave her a knife and she did it anyway.

The insides were growing mold - we thought that was extra Halloween-y, but when you take a picture of the inside of a pumpkin that big, it looks like a cave. Cool huh?

Cameron chiseled this thing with such great care, it was amazing. Josh and I were both finished with our whole carvings long before he finished outlining his. :) We think he looks like an artisan. Good times.

Yeah, me? Not so careful with the carving. More like stabbing the thing hoping it looks right in the end.

We're so proud of our hard work.

Then we took a bunch of scary pictures.

For the full album click here.

After we'd had our fill of Halloween joy, we broke out the board games. This week it was Sorry - turns out Cameron had never played Sorry before, which we thought was tragic. Fortunately he caught onto the idea of "sweet revenge" very quickly. We had a great Sorry marathon - we all took turns having really sucky games and had a great time. I love playing childish games with Jamie and Cameron. They're good friends.

FOR THE LOVE!!!!

OK rejection hurts, but it sucks worse to be rejected for the same thing multiple times. That REALLY sucks.

2 years ago when I applied for this same position, I didn't get it (obviously) and just this week I've been doing the roller coaster of guessing what it means when they call or don't call. So on Friday I was SURE I didn't get it, then Jamie said they hadn't chosen yet. Then on Monday I was POSITIVE I didn't get it, but Jamie said they still hadn't offered it to anyone. So then I got excited again and on Wednesday I really found out I didn't get it, then they called and asked for my bishop's name so they could call for references. Now I was just confused and bugged. They need to say SOMETHING real. Geez!!! Then I talked to Jamie and she or Janet overheard something about it and we knew they had offered it to the other girl, but she was still deciding. So I knew I wasn't their first choice which is sad and hurts my feelings and all of that, but that's life. Pretty much my week has looked like this:

Friday night: bummed they don't love me enough.
Monday night: crying because they don't love me enough.
Tuesday night: eyes glued to the phone to see if I missed a call.
Wednesday night: throwing the phone at the wall because it isn't ringing.
Thursday night: rejection. the ultimate slap in the face.

Now this afternoon I got a call from Rob Carter in the central HR office at the Church. He called because he was given my resume by Arbra (the lady who hires for CES) and I came very highly recommended and they'd love to see me apply for the position since I didn't get the other one I applied for. Fortunately I let him leave a message saying all that so when I heard it he didn't hear me say: "What?!?!?!" :) Anyway, I looked at the position online and it pays more than the one I originally applied for. So, I called Josh to see what he thought about applying for another position.

"I got a call from the church, they don't want me but referred me to another department that might want me."
"Cool." He said.
"Should I apply?" I asked
"Do you want it?"
I hate it when he's reasonable like that.
"Well...I don't know if I can handle being rejected again. And I don't know that I have the time to apply again and go through the whole thing. And it's not the job.....but it does pay more...."
"Isn't' the whole point of THE job that it's in the church office building and working for nice people instead of mean uncle David?"
"yeah....."
"OK. Then why wouldn't you want to take the same benefits with more money?"
"I'll go apply right now."
So I did. And then I called the guy back and let him know I had applied and appreciated his time in considering my application. He asked if I'd already taken that awful personality test and I said yes. He said great because they were trying to make a decision on this as soon as possible because they already listed it once and they just relisted it for some reason.

So, now I'm starting all over! Geez! Jamie keeps telling me that the guys all loved me and it was hard to decide, but they all think the world of me. I think they're obligated to say that because they're nice and mormon and they aren't going to say "well....you just weren't quite cool enough, if only you had dressed nicer, or had better hair, or maybe if you didn't smack your lips when you talk..." so instead they say "it was a really hard choice...blah blah blah". Anyway, hopefully this one won't be a month of drama and crying and excitement. Hopefully they'll love me or hate me right away.

I think it would be funny to get this other job because it's better than the one I thought I wanted, I guess that's just how life works sometimes though, right?

What's the difference between a dentist and a satist?

The dentist has newer magazines! ba dum bum CHING!

I had to go to the dentist this morning. It seems like I was just there, I've never really liked going to the dentist, but this time really wasn't bad. In fact, the last time I went I remember thinking I was going to fall asleep with their hands in my mouth and I hoped I didn't bite them in my sleep.

The last time I went I had a bunch of cavities and had 2 follow up appointments. Ew. But, they turned out to be kindof relaxing, just laying there, listening to dentist music is nice.

Josh's aunt Lisa is a hygienist or dental assistant or whatever you call the nice ladies that clean your teeth before the dentist looks at them. So, we go to her office because we like her. Anyway, I thought it might be kindof weird to go to someone I know, but it's not. She's real nice and real gentle and the conversation is much less awkward. :) Plus she's smart enough to take her hands our of your mouth when she asks a question.

So, today while I was there, I asked her about my bleeding gums. I've kindof always had bleedy gums, and they hurt kinda easy and they bleed easily.

"My gums bleed a lot it seems like, isn't that bad and/or is there anything I can or should do about it?"
"Are you on birth control?" She asked.
"Nope." I answered "but don't tell mom, it's a secret."
"But you're not pregnant yet, right?" She asked again.
"Not that I know of, but anything is possible."
She laughed "I won't tell because then you'll get asked every day if you're pregnant yet. I understand."

Then she went on to explain that birth control and pregnancy both make your gums bleed because your hormones do crazy things. Good to know.

Anyway, good times at the dentist, she was really nice to me and the dentist man spent all of 2 seconds looking in my mouth and sent me on my way. PLUS I got a free pink toothbrush. I told her I need pink because if not I'm scared Josh will use it. So pink it is. It kindof reminded me of when I was a little kid and got a sticker or a lollipop for being brave at the dentist/orthodontist/doctor.

They always had 2 posters, one was snoopy and the other was Mickey Mouse and they said you had to pick which one was your favorite and look at it while they shot your arm. So, one time I picked Snoopy and they asked why Snoopy was my favorite. I didn't really know why, but I wanted to sound grown up so I told them that "he just seems like a sharp kid". My mom used that phrase all the time, and I had no clue what it meant, but I did know it was a good thing, so I decided that if anyone was "sharp" it would be Snoopy. They put a Snoopy bandaid on my arm and only then did I realize that the mean old nurse stuck a needle in me when I wasn't looking! That dirty rotten tricker! In her defense, it was for my own good, but I think that was one of the first times in my life I realized that grown ups lie sometimes. She didn't care what I thought about Snoopy or Micky Mouse (who I thought was a witch because of Fantasia) she just wanted me to talk so I wouldn't notice that she was causing me pain! Rude. It's amazing I'm as normal as I am, which such a traumatic childhood...who knows what I could've turned out like. :)

Pumpkin Carving

Last night my whole family was carving pumpkins at mom and dad's house and I couldn't go because I didn't have a car. That's not very fair if you ask me, but I guess there's not a lot I can do about that.

Anyway, even though I didn't get to enjoy the fun, I thought I should show a link of the pictures Katy took. (Mostly because I thought Emily would want to see them.) My family is just so dang cool!!!

Click here to see the pictures.

Emotional Roller Coaster

I'm crazy. That's all there is to it.

So yesterday I knew that the fact that I didn't hear from the church meant that I didn't get the position, today I talked to Jamie who said that Janet (the other secretary there) asked Brother Brown (one of the hiring people) and he said that they had made a decision, but they hadn't told anybody what it was yet. Not even the person who got it. They still had to call that person's bishop to make sure they were worthy and figure out the payscale and all of that. So, they haven't told the person who didn't get it, and they haven't told the person who did get it, and they haven't told Jamie and Janet. Sigh. So I'm still in the dark.

Part of me got all excited to hear that, because it means that I am still in the running. So, it may take a couple of days for all of that to happen, and that means I probably won't hear ANYTHING either way until Friday. Then it will be 2 weeks before they want the new person to start. Yikes.

I guess things just take a while sometimes in the church. It seems like everything is a little slower paced, calmer, more reasonable. No rushed decisions, they just calmly consider all options and make a decision when they are ready to. They ponder it and pray about it and think about what feels right. It's such a big difference from how we do things here. We get an add in the paper, review a resume as soon as we get it, call for a phone interview the next day, an in person interview the day after that, and make a decision about them in the next 24 hours so we can hope that they'll start by the end of the week. I kindof like the slower pace, but it's hard to adjust to. I guess that's just the way of things sometimes. it makes more sense, that's for sure.

So, now I just need to work on calming down, taking it one day at a time, and being patient until I hear from them. Back to the drawing board.

Job update

After my interview on Friday, I thought they'd let us know on Friday who they picked for the job. Then Jamie told me that they still hadn't decided and they all decided to sleep on it aka pray about it until Monday.

Now it's Monday, it's after noon and I still haven't heard, which I'm 99% sure means I didn't get it. Every time I say that it sounds more and more harsh. They didn't pick me. I guess there was a 50/50 chance, and I've been praying that whatever is best for all involved (even the other applicant and my current boss) would happen. So, at this point I just have to trust that whatever was best did happen and be OK with it. It kinda sucks, slap in the face style because it means they just didn't think I was good enough. Something about me, my skills, my personality, something I said, something they felt, there's just something there that made me not get it. I guess that's life though, and there are probably worse things.

I still have my job, and Kim loves me, and I'll probably get a bonus for staying until the end of the year, and when/if we ever decide to have babies, I can probably work part time, and some from home and this job will be easier to work with post-baby.

So, while I feel this enormous sense of rejection, I also feel like now is the time for me to just have faith that everything will work out for the better. We'll be OK and we'll like being OK. I am going to wait until I hear for sure from them before I say anything to Kim, but I'm hoping that she'll be OK with me staying, I hope I didn't just damage myself that way. Again with the faith.

Pretend like it's the weekend...

Friday night Josh had school and Cameron had to work, so it was a girls night for me and Jamie! Yay for us. Here's a shock, we went baby shopping. :) No, not shopping for babies, but shopping for baby supplies. Saturday was her shower, and I somehow got put in charge of games, so I had plenty to do.

We decided we'd play "name that baby food" which was funny because in my family we don't smell or touch, we just look and guess. Apparently, that's all wrong. You have to allow people to open the baby foods and smell, touch, taste them if they want to. I gotta say, I didn't see a lot of tasting going on, but the lids were all off, so I'm sure there was some sniffing. Who knew they make chicken and vegetables baby food? I don't know many babies that would even eat chicken and vegetables, much less grind them up and drink them. But, what do I know. No babies for me.

We also played a game where you try to pick little gold safety pins out of a bowl of rice when you're blindfolded. That was some pretty intense gaming. Cameron and Jeff (Jamie's brother) wanted to play too, so we let go against each other. Everybody else had played and all of us commented on how hard it is. Cameron puts the blindfold on and starts immediately commenting: "This would be a lot easier if we could see." He's quick at learning games.

After the baby shower Josh and I took his Ron-dad shopping. This is an adventure because he can't walk more than 3 or 4 steps. The 3 or 4 steps has been a major improvement for him and just happened recently. In fact, the only other time I've seen him out of his chair was at our wedding. Anyway, I wasn't quite sure how this was going to work, but we managed quite well. He's a spender, and he wanted to go to RC Willey, so that's where we took him. We walked back to where the digital cameras and car stereos are and within 2 minutes of looking at cameras a salesman walked up, patted Ron on the back, and said something about how it'd been so long since he'd see him. About 2 minutes after that, another salesman walked up and offered the same sentiments. Apparently he's well known and liked among the RC Willey Salesmen. :) Good times. After carefully evaluating all options and making our selections we were outta there. I'm pretty sure I'd never even set foot in an RC Willey before Josh, and now it seems to be a reasonably regular occurrence. Maybe he has good childhood memories there....never can tell for sure.

Sunday we were back at the Reilley's again for dinner and games, I think that's 3 weeks in a row for them, I hope our other families aren't getting jealous, but we seem to spend as much time there too. And tonight is the Fugal Pumpkin Carving Fest 2007. Watch for pictures to come from that. :)

"One of these things is not like the other...."

Can you tell what is inherently wrong with one of these items?

No? Me neither!!! That's why I purchased an apple slicer just like that one last night. I went to the grocery store, minding my own business, found a nice heavy duty, sturdy apple slicer and bought it. Who would've thought that it was the most unreasonable thing I'd do ever? Well, Josh would've thought.

While at the grocery store, I made a LOT of 'extra' purchases, no we didn't NEED all of these things, but I wanted them, and nobody was there to stop me. Plus we don't have a car payment, so if I want to buy Halloween candy even though we won't be home to pass it out, I can do that. :) I went a little nuts, bought a ton of Halloween candy (if you're on a sugar low, come on over), and an apple slicer.

Josh's uncle gave us half a box of green apples, I like green apples, but I hate eating them unless you cut them up, and I hate taking the time to cut them up. So, I got a slicer so they wouldn't go bad, I'd hate to waste all of those apples.

When Josh got home from school he asked what I had done while he was gone.

"I went to the missionary meeting and the grocery store." I said. "I did NOT go running, and I'm in big trouble for that." I quickly added. I like to make it clear that I know I did a bad thing before somebody else makes it clear.

"Did you remember to get milk at the grocery store?" He asked.

"Of course I did! I did a GREAT job shoppin' tonight."

"You did? What did you get?" Now you can hear the tension in his voice. I can tell what he's thinking is How much did you spend and how much of it can I take back without you noticing. Luckily I opened ALL of the candy as soon as I got home and put it in my decorative Halloween bowl in case of this tone of voice.

"Lookit lookit lookit! Isn't this cool!" I proudly display my new apple slicer in a pathetic attempt to block his view from the GINORMOUS bowl of candy behind me.

"It's square." he points out.

"Yes. It is square, good observation Joshua, you can put one gold star on your chart." I teased.

"But apples are round."

"...." The excitement drains from my face, my lip drops, and my eyes get big forming the ultimate sad/pouty face as the realization kicked in that I had made a useless purchase, and I was so excited about it! "They tricked me. Why would they do that?"

Josh starts to laugh and gives me a hug. "It's OK sometimes people make silly things, like square apple cutters. And sometimes people even buy them."

"It still cuts apples..." I whimper.

Josh while hugging and comforting me sees the bowl of candy. "You punk! You bought candy! Holy cow you bought candy!"

The corners of my mouth quickly turn up in a guilty mischievous 'wasn't me' smile. "I like candy! Plus it's Halloween, that's the whole point!"

He proceeds to chase me around the house trying to tickle me until I cry. As usual he succeeds.

Looking at it now, I realize that a square apple cutter really doesn't make much sense, but why do they even make them that way? I'm sure I'm not the only human to own one. As for me, I'm enjoying my perfectly sliced apples.

ANOTHER interview!!!

I have NEVER been through such and intense hiring process. Never ever ever. Just to recap, first I found out about the job and fell in love with it, next we had the application, followed by the first interview which I knew about for a good week before it happened, plenty of time for panicking. Then there was the skills test/personality interview, and more time to panic. They just got all of the results back this week from the personality test, and Jamie has kept me posted, that they want to decide on or around Friday. That's why I knew it wasn't a good sign when their phone number showed up on my caller ID.

"This is Amy how may I help you?"
"Amy, this is Arbra with CES Physical Facilities"
"Oh hi!" Trying desperately to sound casual and unafraid. Brace yourself, just because they hired someone else doesn't mean you're not a good person, you can get over this, it's not like you don't have a job, it'll be OK.
"They've decided that they want you to come in for another interview tomorrow afternoon."
I tried to scrape my jaw off the floor without her hearing it through the phone. "How early or late in the afternoon can we go?" I asked. "I'm trying to coordinate it with my current job, so if I could come in and call it lunch, or leave just a little early that would be best for me."
"Oh definitely, how about 1:00 or 1:30 - would that work?"
"Yep. 1:00 sounds perfect."
"OK same place as last time, in fact you'll be meeting with the same people again...." she kindof laughed a little to herself, and I tried not to sound skeptical about having to meet with people who met me just last week.
"Sounds great, thanks for the phone call." I tried to sound polite and upbeat.
"Good luck" She offered.

So, here I am. Back to freaking out AGAIN!!! I've never been through so much for a job, in face I think I'll I've ever done is apply, and then be interviewed. Beyond that I've relied on the people who know me to get me hired. This is terrifying.

After discussing it with Jamie, I'm reasonably confident that it will be OK. I guess the other girl has a lot of experience being a secretary to a lot of people. I feel like I have experience too, so I hope that they will like me better than her, and the fact that Jamie and Janet like me better will push me over the edge. Jamie overheard them saying that it was kindof toss up between me and her. Who knows though, maybe they like her better and the fact that Jamie and Janet like me is what's making me to "toss up" level. I'm making myself crazy. But, here we go. Wish me luck!

Job Security

My boss has become VERY dependent on me to help him use his computer and phone. Any small thing that happens he immediately calls me to come up and help him with. I've turned into an IT guru in his mind. Funny thing is that I know no more than anybody else my age. It's just the generation gap but he thinks I am like a computer expert.

The bluetooth on his phone wasn't working, so I reattached the phone to the headset. "The computer lost the file" he was working on, so I went into recent documents and fount it. He couldn't find his contacts, so I gave him a shortcut button in Outlook so he wouldn't lose them anymore. The software for the phones looked funny, so I had him exit and reopen it. His wireless mouse wasn't responding, so I plugged in the USB receiver. A lot of VERY simple problems that could be solved by anyone who grew up using a computer and has experience with that type of stuff. But for some reason, I'm the computer god in his eyes.

This morning it was a minor phone issue, I fixed it and he commented "I bet you wish I'd just learn these simple things, but think of it this way: job security." I smiled and walked out of the room secretly thinking to myself "I don't wanna have job security. I want to be disposable to you. I want the church to call me tomorrow, tell me I'm hired, and quit here in a week! Dang it!"

At the same time I'm flattered, and feel valuable and good about the services I offer. But I really don't want him to think I'm indispensable or whatever it is they say about people they don't want to quit. Sigh. If only he knew how ordinary I really was. Maybe I should bring in anybody else my age so he knows that I really don't know that much. :)

Debt free heaven in 2007!

The power of setting and writing down goals is pretty dang cool. At the beginning of the year, my husband wanted us to be completely debt free by the end of the year. This was no minor thing because I had a $11,000 loan on a car. Well, I told him what it would take to get it paid off, and we've been doing it. As of now, we have totally paid off my car, and have $0 in credit card debt and are paying his student loans (which he just took out this year for massage school). That means that technically at the end of the year we'll still be WAY in debt for school, but that was an exception to our goal because he got the loans in May of this year.

I have to say I really didn't think it was possible, it seemed VERY unreasonable, and certainly not desirable, but we did it! Josh is great at saving and putting money away, and I'm a spend it if I've got it kind of person. I'm glad we're married and that he helps me be better in that way.

I'm always interested in the ways that we are different, like cooking, cleaning, getting ready in the morning, spending habits, feelings about taxes and the government, attitude toward kids, traveling, where to live, what to buy, the list goes on. I'm amazed that we get along so well. Actually I think it's good for us to be so different on this stuff so that when we disagree on really hard stuff (raising kids and the like) we will know how to work our and discuss our differences in ways that make us both happy. We're so grown up. :)

I still freak out that he uses the wrong towels for the wrong things. Like after he's done shaving, he used to use my hand towel to wipe of any excess shaving cream. EW!!! That towel is specifically for drying! If he spilled juice on the counter in the kitchen he used my dishtowels to wipe it up! Clearly, that is a washcloth job. He NEVER used to use paper towels for anything, but now he does. He doesn't eat ice cream in the middle of the night. He even sees the value in being able to throw it away. He thinks you can wash whites with light colored shirts, NOT in my house. He does yardwork anytime of the day. He hangs his shirts facing the wrong way in the closet. He likes to get things done in the morning instead of sleeping in. He uses small hangers for hoodies. He doesn't measure pancake mix - come to think of it, he likes pancakes better than waffles, which we all know is just plain weird. He thinks you should try to make it so the right amount of taxes are deducted from your paycheck, instead of using the answer that makes them take too much so you get a big fat refund in April.

Even though we do so many things differently we live together pretty well. I try to calm down about my towels and remember that they are washable for a good reason. He tries to let me pay as much in taxes as I want so we get a big-ish refund.

As far as spending/saving goes though, I really think he's right. We now have 0 car payments, and 1 working vehicle! Look at us go!!! Who knows, maybe we'll even save up enough to have 2 working vehicles before too long....

Christmas time is here....

I can't even tell you how excited I am for Christmas this year. There's no good reason for it, but I'm seriously thrilled out of my mind. I just can't wait!!!

I've started making Christmas lists of what to get people, so if you're reading this and know what you want for Christmas, tell me now. I've started looking for things to buy, and I'm just plain excited.

Last year Jamie and I dipped pretzels, and I'm so excited to do it again this year. Those are GOOOOOD. And I'm excited for the tree, and the wrapping paper, and the stockings, and the snow, lights, concerts, parties, shows, the whole thing. I can't wait! I wish it was now, do you think it's bad to put your Christmas tree up before Halloween? Hmm... :)

Last night Josh didn't have school (thank you Christopher Columbus!) and we bought tickets to Forgotten Carols. Turns out that's a play, like with a story line and stuff. I had no clue. When we got it out to listen the other day, Josh was telling me all about it, and I'm way excited to see it. So, we bought tickets because they went on sale yesterday, and from the looks of things they sell out FAST!

While we were buying those tickets, I started to wonder about the Tab Choir and the Devotional tickets. Turns out that this year the Mormons are giving those our by a reservation process. So, there are like 3 weeks to "register" and you say how many you want and then after the registration is closed, they randomly decide who gets tickets. That way you don't have to block out 3 hours of your morning the day they are available. Anyway, click here to register for Devotional tickets, and then the Choir Concert registration opens later this month. Exciting times!

They've been putting the lights up on the trees like for months, which means it's Christmas time! Yay for us!!!

I truly don't remember the last time I was this excited for Christmas, I don't even know why.

We also looked at some houses for sale online, because it's about time for us to make some decisions. So, here's hopin' for something good to happen. If anybody sees a cheap house (like less than $135,000) let us know, we're about to the point that we're willing to live anywhere if we can afford a house/condo.

Josh wants to live in Tremonton, I think that's funny. I'm sure I'll win that "discussion".

Conference Time

What a weekend!

We went down to watch Saturday conference at the Fugal house. Always an adventure. We watched, hung out, ate, watched, ate, watched, ate, etc etc etc. What an great day of conference!!! So many wonderful talks, so much was said that was so important. I loved the talk about "The Lord remembered Rachel" I LOVE that. Right up there with "Sunday Will Come" I think I just like talks about how even when it's hard it gets better, and that we aren't forgotten, and we are loved. What an incredible blessing.

In between sessions I wanted to get out of the house, and wanted to go to Deseret Book, so I made Josh go with me to University Mall. We went in, looked around, and bought nothing. But we looked A LOT. So many things I want! I remember my mom and every other person in her generation having those statues of Christ, or of people, or of anything else. You know the ones? White porcelain? Well, the new thing is the Willow Tree Figurines. I hated them at first, I mean they don't even have faces? Now I love them, and I want the couple one where he's holding her and taking care of her. But just now when I was looking for the one I wanted, I saw another couple one that I think I like better. :) Sigh. I didn't get any of them, but I want one someday. What I really wanted was a cookbook, but they didn't have it, so it turned out to be a wasted trip. But, when we went back outside, it was snowing! Yay for snow! Snow, and rain, and wet and cold, it was amazing. I LOVE this weather. I can't wait for the rest of it to come and for it to never end. I am so excited!!!

I was shocked to see Elder Wirthlin looking so weak in the afternoon session. I cried when he had to be held, up, and was so touched at how Elder Nelson handled the situation. Just quietly standing there supporting him. Spot the object lesson.

That night we talked and hung out until WAY past our bed time. And finally went home late.

Sunday was far more eventful. Josh's grandparents have been married for 50 years, so there was a big Burraston party. We went over immediately following the afternoon session to see if we could help set up. Mom Reilley had clearly been setting up and getting ready for days. There were decorations, tables set up, food ready, the whole thing. We played games with the kids instead of helping with anything. We're cool like that. When everybody got there, we had a big BBQ with lots of food, and tons of people. A couple of years ago, some of Josh's mom's siblings had a big falling out, and this is the first time they've all been together in 2 years. It was a little tense, but it worked out surprisingly well. Due to the falling out, I'd never even met some of them, and knew nothing about them. But it was fun to talk to them and to get to know them.

After some talking and celebrating, it was time for "The Cake". Grandma wanted one from Mrs. Backer's Bakery because she likes their cake, but the problem was she couldn't drive to pick it up. So, she asked Kyle (Josh's uncle) to take her to pick it up. He told her not to worry about it, and he'd just buy it and that would be his gift to her for her anniversary. Turns out it was a $125 cake! Can you imagine a $125 cake? Josh pointed out that our wedding cake cost less than that. Wow. The cake was good, don't get me wrong, but I probably ate $5 of cake!!! Wow. I don't think Grandma knew it would cost that much or she wouldn't have let him get it, but he was happy to do it, just shocked that a cake would be that much.

Anyway, it turned out to be a pretty good evening. Josh's sister and his mom had a moment, and I think it kindof made the party sad for both of them, they both left and cried for a good portion of it; but I'm sure that will all work out. After their moment, Josh's mom said that she thinks we should seriously think about it before having kids. Not rush into it because it's such a big decision and she doesn't want to "ruin" grandkids too. We all laughed because I never thought I'd hear her say that she doesn't want grandkids! In face when we first got there and talked about conference, she said she had to speak in Sacrament Meeting on her favorite talk and was going to say that Sister Beck's was her favorite because she talked about not putting off having kids and she's baby hungry. Ha! We laughed because when Sister Beck said that Josh and I both looked at each other and he said "you know my mom's going to bring that up, right?" I did know. We were surprised to hear her mention it. :) I love our mom.

It's interesting the different family dynamics that we all have. The more I see families other than mine, the more amazed I am at how many ways there are to handle a situation. It also reminds me that emotions are what all humans have in common. Every person has unique experiences, but no human on the planet has a unique emotion. We all share that.

In all it was a great weekend, not restful at all, but good. Plenty to think about and ponder. I just hope that we can apply everything we learned and put it to good use. One thing is for sure, this church is lead by inspiration and if we look for it, we can see the hand of the Lord in our lives.

Names

Turns out the people who name the food at Wingers really know what they're talking about. Who wouldda thought?

Last night was one of those "do anything we want" nights because at about 6:00 when we should have been leaving for a mission reunion, Josh said he didn't feel like going, so we didn't. I love being a grown up.

So, we decided to go to Wingers for dinner because it sounded good. I got the "sticky fingers" because it's my favorite thing of all time and Josh got "sizzlin' fajitas". After we at our popcorn, we could hear the fajitas coming from clear across the restaurant (not that it's big, just that we could hear it WAY before we saw it). Turns out they really do sizzle. And they kept right on sizzling after our nice waitress put them on the table too! Then they started splattering and Josh aimed them at me, they splattered and I got burned, and he laughed. He's a punk.

About halfway through the meal I started complaining that every time we go to wingers, even if I don't touch anything but silverware, my hands always get sticky. Every time, without fail. Josh looked at me and laughed.
"What?"
"Get it?"
"get what?"
"sticky? that's funny."
"sticky isn't' funny, it's just sticky."
"that's why they call them 'sticky fingers' get it?"
"oh....I get it."
My husband finds humor in most everything. One of his great qualities. I guess the meals were appropriately named after all. Kudos to the "Wingers Official Meal Namer Man".

Interview freak me out

So after my interview yesterday, Jamie told me that they were having their favorites take a skills test and do a "natural talents and abilities" interview. "Natural talents and abilities interview" roughly translates to "personality test". So yesterday afternoon I got a call. I had to do a skill test and they set up an phone interview for the personality test. This really nice lady named Arbra is doing the interview, she's scheduled everything for me so far. So, hopefully she'll be nice during this interview as well.

I took the skills test last night. I've taken tests like this before, but oh my gosh, this one was BAD!!! I knew I'd be tested on PowerPoint and that is my weakness as far as the Microsoft Office Suite, I just haven't done much with it and am a little uncomfortable with the program. So, I played around in it a little just to brush up on some skills. Then I logged in to take the test.

Sometimes I hate computers. I've been using these programs for eternity and I really feel like I know how to use them. It has a little simulator and you have to do certain functions in each program. Like the question will say "adjust the margins for this document to be 1" on top and bottom" and I go to their little controlled Word environment and adjust the margins. Only problem is that when I hit 'tab' to go from one box to the next, it tells me I got the question wrong! Rude! So, then I use the mouse and click in the box, only I miss the dialog box and it boots me out of the question. I used up both of my chances so now the test thinks I don't know how to adjust the margins! That's ridiculous! I missed 3 other stupid questions like that, all of which I am perfectly capable of doing on a regular basis, but according to the test I'm stupid. Ew. I'm bugged by that.

Then I started the Excel test and it asks me all of these questions about "lists" which is irritating because I've never even heard of a list in Excel. So I played around with their version and found some of the answers, but missed some first. And they asked like 6 questions about lists! Bad news for me. I missed 3 of the Excel questions.

By this time I'm really nervous about Power Point, so I start into the test and it's multiple question and you are allowed to use any program and any help feature that you need. EASY!!! I rocked that one. Wow.

Spelling was next, and it turns out that I'm not so great at spelling, that's because I use spell check and look up words that I don't know.

Overall I guess I did OK. I was in the 95th percentile on all of them, except Power Point which didn't give percentiles but told me I was "advanced" which is funny because I'm not. So, according to this test, my strengths are in Power Point and NOT Excel which is all wrong. But whatever does it for them.

This afternoon I took the dreaded personality test. Ew. I hate those things. The person giving it records the test, and cannot give any clarification on any questions, but can repeat the question. Before we started she needed to get some background information from me:
"What is the name you like to be called?"
Gertrude. That would be funny if I said Gertrude. "Amy."
"State your name, and spell it for the record."
"Amy Egbert. A-M-Y E-G-B-E-R-T" I feel like I'm on trial, anybody have a bible?
Then the real questions begin:
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Why?
Are you dependable?
Rate your dependability on a scale of 1-10.
Responsible?
How many days of work did you miss last year?
How do you feel about cleaning up after a party?
If a friend had something you needed, would you ask for it?
Do you like to be supervised?
What do you like about your job?
Tell me about your work history?
Are you assertive?
The list continued, then she asked me something REALLY strange. "Have you ever experienced flow in and event or situation?"
Me: "Flow?"
Her: "flow. f-l-o-w"
Me: "I know you can't clarify so I'm just trying to decide how to answer that question."
Her: "it's your interpretation."
Me: "Sure, I guess so." What the crap is flow? Isn't that an acronym for something? Why can't I remember my business classes? KISS is Keep It Simple Stupid. What's FLOW? What does that mean? Help!!!
Her: "Please explain what you interpret that question to be."
Me: "uhhh....." long pause "I guess I just think of something going smoothly, as planned, without anything abnormal or bumpy happening." Bumpy? did I just say bumpy? Who says bumpy? That was stupid. I hope she doesn't write that down. Who am I kidding of course she'll write it down. She's recording this whole thing. Bumpy. Wow.
Her: "OK."
The questions continued:
Do you feel good about yourself?
How do you handle your personal finances?
Do you pay your bills late?
Would you see yourself working as a senior secretary for CES Physical Facilities long term?
Etc etc etc.
Wow. What a personal interview!

A few things I noticed about myself, I say the word "so" at the end of sentences, that's a bad habit and I need to not do it. I think it's an attempt to not sound dumb saying "so...yeah." but it's just as dumb to say "so....." I'll work on it.

Then came the sales portion. "If someone didn't' buy something they needed, how would you react?" "I'd trust that they know what they need better than I do. It's not up to me what they use in their lives....so...."
Her: "Do you consider yourself a salesperson?"
Me: "No."
Her: "Why or why not?"
Me: "Because I don't think it's my right to tell people what to do. We each have our agency and while I am perfectly happy to make suggestions, point out differences, and recommend something, I don't think it's my job to make sure the world agrees with me."
Her: "k."
I got a lot of "K"s in this interview. A few "good"s but a LOT of "k"s I hope that's not a bad thing. I know they're looking for a certain type of person, and I hope I'm it, but worried that they won't see that I'm it.

Yesterday I felt really good about everything, that it will all be OK, and now I'm just plain nervous. I know they are doing more of these phone personality interviews on Monday, and I'm sure a lot of people haven't even taken the test....so I really don't expect to hear back from them before Wednesday, I guess we'll see. Hopefully they love me and change my life forever. But you never can tell. Here I am having faith.

486th of 486

This new book "Twilight" seems to be all the rage right now. I don't think I know ANYBODY on the planet who has not read it. My mom's been recommending it to me for months, but I just haven't felt the urge to read it. So, I figure I'll read it when I'm good and ready with no expectations and love it. But, if I keep listening to everybody hyping it up, then I'm not going to love it because I'll expect too much. So, I haven't rushed out to get it because I don't' want to be that excited for it.

Enter Jamie: Jamie read the book, loves it and now I have to read it because she won't stop talking about it. She seriously read the first one in one day. In fact, I'll bet she didn't eat all day because she was busy reading. She probably LITERALLY didn't put it down all day long. So, now I'm feeling the urgency. Now that I'm the only human on the planet who hasn't read this book, I'm ready to read. Jump on the bandwagon, that's what I always say.

Since my latest addiction is books on CD, I figure I'll just get it on CD from the library and listen to it while I run (another latest addiction, they actually go together). So last night, I get on the wonderful Salt Lake County Library website, and place a hold on it. Then pops the happy little message "Thank you for placing Twilight on hold. You are currently number 486 in line. You will be notified by phone when your book is ready for pickup at the Smith library." 486!!! I'm sorry what?!?! 486? I can't even COUNT that high! Mostly for lack of patience, but GEEZ LOUISE!!! Who looks at a line 486 people long, knowing that each person LITERALLY takes 3 weeks and says "yep, sign me up for that. I have 1,458 weeks to wait. Maybe in 28 years I still won't have read the book, and be dying to know what's going on. Forget the fact that I will have given birth to and raised 5 babies by then. Forget about the fact that I'll be 50 years old and lost my hearing wont' be able to hear the book anyway. Forget about the fact that CDs will be obsolete and you won't even OWN the book anymore. Please, sign me up to borrow it from the library then." I guess for now I'll just take comfort in the fact that 485 other humans on the planet have not yet read the book. Just judging from the Salt Lake County Library system of course.

Dun dun duuuun!!! The Interview.

Whew. Phase 1 is officially over. Thank goodness!

This morning was a little rough, I kept wanting to sleep in, and still don't feel fully awake, but I guess that's life. :) I changed clothes about 10 gajillion times, and nothing looked/felt right, but I guess it's OK because when I got there Janet (who I met for the first time today) said I looked cute, or my outfit was cute, or something. Anyway, I laughed a little because she knows I bought my suit at Walmart. Shhh! It's a secret! LOL Either way, I appreciated her vote of confidence because I feel frumpy.

I interviewed with 3 guys, all of whom are very nice, and I feel like I kinda know all of them just because of Jamie stories.

This is the same position that I interviewed for 2 years ago before Jamie did. I interviewed with the same people, and they knew that, and I knew that. That was one of their first questions: "Why would you want to interview with the three of us again? Glutton for punishment?" I laughed and said I just really wanted the position. Ha ha.

If I didn't think I knew them, that would've been a painful moment. I would've heard, "Why are you back here? we already told you 'no'! get a clue!" But instead I heard "we're dorks, you really think you can work with us?" It's good to have good friends to back you up in stuff like this. I'm glad to have good connections.

An interview is totally different when you know someone on the inside as well I do. I already know what they do, I know what they have their secretaries do. I know one of them is going to South America (and needs a BIG FAT binder with EVERY piece of information possible), I know one of them is going through an Elder Ballard phase and reading every talk he ever gave, I know they were all seminary teachers, I know one them only knows how to use Word Perfect, I know they spot the object lesson when plants die (the lower limbs are supposed to die as it grows, it's the nature of plants), and I know they go out of their way to be nice to people. It's weird to interview like that, but good. I'm glad I went, and glad they were nice to me. :)

I hope I didn't get Jamie and Janet in trouble, because they did ask one thing. Larry Miner said "I hate the question about weaknesses, so I won't put you on the spot and ask you that one, but since you know about the job - what is the thing that you'd be most uncomfortable with, or like the least?" I laughed a little bit because just yesterday Jamie was telling me about how excited Janet was that when they hire "the new girl" they won't have to go to the long boring meeting to take notes anymore because she'll do it. So, I told them that I'd heard rumor of a long boring meeting, and they laughed and knew exactly which one I was referring to. I said I thought it was a good sign, that if one boring meeting once a week was the worst part about a job, you're probably sittin' pretty. Ha ha. Anyway, I hope I didn't get Jamie and/or Janet in trouble. The guys were great.

Here's my downfall, I don't speak Spanish. Rory gets calls in Spanish all the time, and I'm sure he'd like it if someone could speak Spanish back to them, but maybe my other good qualities make up for it. They asked how this position would fit into my long term life/goals. I, like an idiot, told them I didn't feel like I knew what my long term life would be like. I told them that Josh is in school, and that we'd be here doing that for a while, but that for now we're just taking life as it happens because it never seems to be the same from day to day. It was honest, but probably not a great thing to tell an employer. I should've said something that made me sound really stable and reliable, but instead I gave them the perfect reason not to love me. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do? Can't unsay things.

They asked if I had any questions for them, I hate that part in an interview, what are you supposed to ask? "umm...did I get the job?" "what's your favorite color?" "Do you like brick, siding, or stucco for the exterior of a home?" "honey, who does your hair?!?!" Geez, I don't know. So I said I didn't have any questions. Then in the car on my way to work, I thought I should've asked them, what the most important quality/skill they were looking for was. But then that opens a whole new can of worms. I don't know, what was I supposed to say there? *sigh*.

Anyway, I thought I was done and had already breathed my sigh of relief and they called me back. They wanted to have me meet with the big man. He's the scary one. I entered his office (big with a window, that's how you know he's important). He is TOTALLY intimidating and now I understand why Jamie might be scared of him sometimes. He said he'd seen my resume, along with a bunch of others and asked what I'd been doing and for some background. I told him about my job at Apex, and working at LDSBC. He was nice and nodded so I knew he was listening. He asked about the Real Estate game, and what we were doing with it, he told me that this position isn't ALWAYS busy, and there is some down time, so the ability to keep busy is important. I was only with him for a few minutes, and then I went on my merry little way.

Overall, I hope it was a good interview. They liked my resume, liked that all I do all day every day is what they are looking for, I hope they like that Jamie and Janet like me. We'll see what happens I guess. I do have to say that while I was there I really felt like it was going to work out. Not necessarily that I would get the position, but that it would be OK. Like no matter what we'd be OK. It was the same feeling I had when I was first dating Josh. I really wanted it to work out and us to be together, but at the same time there was this peace knowing that if it didn't, I'd be fine with that and move on with my life. Same feeling. I HOPE (desire coupled with full expectation) to get the position, but only the Lord knows what will fit the best and I will be happy with whatever that turns out to be.

Interview part 2

It's now official, I have a real live interview scheduled. This whole job thing really stresses me out, but at the same time I'm very excited. :) They just called and I have an interview first thing in the morning, so you'll have to read all about it tomorrow. For now, pray for me so I can do a good job in my interview and they'll love me and hire me on the spot! Ha! Not even possible, but at least they could love me. That'd be really nice. I'm already starting to get nervous, I feel like a kid on my first day of school. Geez.

Pretty Good Day

Last night I had an FHE scheduled with someone in our ward and the missionaries, so as soon as I got home I needed to go running. One time last week Josh wanted to go running with me, so we went around the neighborhood and later I drove it to see how far it was. Anyway, it's good to know how far it is, because now I feel like I can run the neighborhood and have an idea of what I've done.

So, last night I put on my new runnin' shoes (thank you Josh!) and set off. I ran .7 miles before I stopped! Look at me go! I'll build up to a whole mile, but I was pretty dang proud of myself. Maybe tonight I can do a whole mile and then I'll feel really good, but for now I'm proud of that, that's almost 3/4 of a mile, and I'm gettin' pretty tough.

As soon as I got home I jumped in the shower so I would be ready in time for the missionaries to come. I had exactly 30 minutes until they were supposed to be there, so I knew I could get ready fast enough if I hurried. So I hurried, and 20 minutes later they knocked on the doorbell. I got dressed as fast as possible, and pulled my hair up so it wouldn't' look like I just got out of the shower. 2 rings and 1 knock later I answered the door (I rock like that). They asked if I was busy, or if now was a bad time, (clearly I looked frazzled) and I told them I was just getting out of the shower, so I'd hurry and be right out. They can't come in because Josh isn't there, so I felt bad about that, but we have a bench on our front porch so they could sit if they wanted to. I grabbed my shoes and was all but ready to go, and looked in the mirror just to make sure I was fully dressed and appropriate and noticed this big nasty white stripe in my hair. Conditioner. Ew! So I didn't rinse my hair thoroughly! Bad bad bad! I towelled it out the best I could and we went to our appointment. When I got home I rinsed it much better, but it did weird things to my hair and my hair looks all funky today. I hate bad hair days like that. It wouldn't go straight, so I pulled it up, but it's still not doing anything quite right. Either way, I made it to my appointment and I was even on time! :)

Turns out going with the missionaries is a usually a pretty cool experience, who wouldda thought. I love our missionaries, one of them just went home and is planning to come back to go to BYU and I really wanna set him up with someone, but I don't' know who. I just think he was a great guy, and I want him to live happily ever after. So if anybody knows and perfect cute girls for me to hook him up with, speak up.

Hope

On Sunday we had a lesson in Sunday School that somehow brought up the concept/definition of hope. After a bunch of definitions, some nice lady behind me said she once heard that 'hope' is 'desire coupled with full expectation'. Not sure why, but I really like that definition. Hope is one of those words I use all the time without really stopping to think about what it means.

"I hope I get a million dollars."
"I hope I get this job." (Still no interview scheduled, stay tuned for future news.)
"I hope my husband doesn't die in a car accident."
"I hope my spaghetti sauce turns out yummy."
"I hope my best is good enough."

But the more I think about it, the more I love the word. I hope for a great future, I hope for good news from family members, I hope the 2nd coming is a great time for me, I still hope I get this job and that I don't burn the spaghetti. Now it means more, full expectation is powerful.

Marriage Enrichment

For our anniversary Josh's mom and dad gave us this thing called "marriage enrichment weekend" (for details see www.marriage-enrichment.org). This was the weekend. We were to arrive Thursday night, and since Josh and I got there early enough, we hung out in the hotel room for the first little while. Went exploring, watched a little TV, sent some e-mails, just chilled. Then we went to the opening thing.

In the first meeting they said all the normal stuff, 'welcome, we're glad you're here, etc etc etc' and then told us we were there to focus on the marriage relationship and that they suggested that we remove our watches (they'd keep track of time for us), turn off our cell phones, not check our e-mails, not call home, not call work, no TV, no movies, no leaving the hotel to run to the store, just be there. Really really there. We all laughed and kinda got nervous for what they termed "marital prison" but did it anyway. From that point on we were busy the whole time. It was great. They taught us some really cool stuff, dialogueing (which I'll explain later), conflict resolution, communication, fair fighting rules, rating, how to involve Christ and have a Christ centered marriage, etc etc etc.

For me the biggest thing was dialogueing. They asked a question like "how do I feel about our marriage relationship now and what can I do to enrich it?" and then we went in separate rooms to write for 10 minutes. And you have to write the whole time. Then we'd have 10 minutes together to read each other's and talk about it. You read them twice, and then discuss. It was really cool. I'm always amazed by the things my husband thinks and I talk 20 million miles a minute so I hardly ever get to hear his side of anything. So, this dialogueing thing was really cool.

We talked to Josh's parents a little about it when we got back, and I loved what his dad said. It's like a mission, you can tell people it's awesome and highly recommend it and all that, but until you've gone and had the experience, you'll never know what it was like. That's exactly how I felt. It was amazing the things that we learned about each other, and about our relationship. We really had a great experience and I'm SOO glad that we were given the opportunity.

We joked while we were there that we are marriage professionals because it wasn't as hard for us as it was for a lot of other people, mostly because we are so inexperienced. We were the youngest ones there, and everybody else had kids. There were 2 other couples that had only been married about a year, but they were both second marriages for all parties. And they all had kids from previous marriages, so I felt like we were the newliest weds. We don't have years and years of junk and misconception and hurt feelings that needed to be taken care of, and we're still open and honest with each other. We have our moments, but for the most part, we're still young and dumb and in love. So, for us, it was cool to think that when all the hard times come and we're in the middle of hard times, we have the tools to work through it effectively. Now we just have to hope that we can remember to do just that. :)

They talked about the "love cycle" which goes from romance, to disillusionment, to joy, back to romance and around and around. That was cool mostly because it makes me feel good that it's normal to have a hard time every now and again, and that joy comes after it and it works out. We're still stuck in romance, and loving every minute of it, and hopefully our "disillusionment" phase won't be too hard or too long.

The whole weekend was great because we focused on "our relationship" the whole time, which is comforting and makes us both feel close. We also set some goals, most of ours have to do with spirituality, and I'm really looking forward to it. So far we're doing good, but this will be our first week back in reality, and hopefully we can remember what we learned and decided and do good.

Anyway, if anybody out there has a hard time with their marriage, or wants to learn some cool stuff for the hard times to come, or just thinks that there's a possibility that it could be better, I'd HIGHLY recommend this weekend. It really was incredible. And well worth it. Everything was taken care of for us, we didn't' have to worry about ANYTHING ever. We never had to "share with the class" and everything was about us and we only shared with each other. We learned a ton and had a great time. We did learn from other people's experiences because the "lead couples" (the ones putting on the whole thing) shared some really personal stuff from their lives, which was very touching. The whole weekend was just great, I really loved it and think it would work for ANYONE anywhere.

Days off

On Thursday I got to go to work with Josh for the 2nd time this week. We had to be in Provo in the afternoon, and I took the whole day off work so I wouldn't have to worry about being late, so Josh and I just did Redbox until we had to be at the hotel for Enrichment.

Wednesday night I had a few errands to run, and really wanted to get a skirt, so I went on a quest for a dressy black skirt. I went to Fort Union and was AMAZED at all of the stores they have there. The stores I drove by included but were not limited to: Target, AND Walmart, Ross AND TJ Maxx, Deseret Book AND Barnes and Noble, Home Depot, Bed Bath & Beyond, Linen's 'N Things, Cold Stone, Cafe Rio, Old Navy, Payless, Famous Footwear, and like a million others. I was SHOCKED. I knew as I drove in that this would be the most successful shopping trip of my life. I went to 3 clothing stores, and found ZERO count them, ZERO skirts. Well, that's not quite true, I did see a grand total of 2 skirts. Period. But they were both ugly. 2 skirts! I was shocked. Apparently, people don't wear skirts, because nobody sells them. Ew. Finally I gave up and went to Walmart to get some salt/pepper shakers and hangars. Only problem is that the Walmart is Fort Union is the most confusing, strange setup I've ever seen. You walk in and it's like you walked in the side door of a normal walmart. Anyway, I finally made my way around, but in doing so walked past the clothing section, and there it was. A suit skirt (exactly what I wanted). And they had really cute gray ones, only the gray ones had one kind of gray of skirts, and a different kind of gray in the jacket, weird. So anyway, I wound up getting my perfect black suit skirt (mostly because I want to look nice at an interview).

On my way to the salt shakers, I walked by the $7.50 movie rack, and there was Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 12. Last week Josh bought and Ocean's and we didn't have any of them, but love them all. So I decided to get the other one. Only problem was I couldn't remember which one he bought. So, I grabbed 11 and bought that too. A successful trip overall. However, we all know that 11 is the one that Josh already bought, and I didn't need 2 copies of it. Sigh.

We went to Park City and Heber, and once again it was BEAUTIFUL. I love fall, I love winter, I love mountains, it was great. While in Park City, we had to do a Walmart store, so I figured we'd take back Ocean's 11 and trade it for 12. Which we did. I took back 11 and tried to find 12, but on my way to find 12, I walked past the clothes again, and there was the cute gray suit! Only this time the skirt matched the Jacket, and it's CUTE! So I tried it on, and it fit and it's cute. So, I asked Josh pretty pretty please if I could have it and he said yes because he loves me. :) Yay for a new interview suit! It's cute and I KNOW I'll get hired. :) I find it particularly hilarious that the only place I can find a good interview suit is Walmart. Lame. But at least I didn't spend $150 on one from Dillards or something. Turns out that in the Park City Walmart, there is no $7.50 rack so we still have the wrong Ocean's movie, but I can deal with that.

In short, it was a great day. We got to the hotel with plenty of time, watched the snow fall, enjoyed the drive together and it was great. Everything was great. I love days like that.