Word vomit

Amy's big mouth gets her in trouble: Chapter 94

A girl I barely know (but hope to know better) told me she was pregnant because it came up in conversation while I was at her house helping her with a project. She just mentioned in passing and the entire discussion was about 12 seconds long. Congratulations! How are you feeling?  That kind of thing.

Then her mother in law came over and it came up again, so I mentioned it "so, do you know what you're having yet?"

Her MIL's head tweaked a bit and I immediately felt sick. I resisted the urge to physically cover my mouth with my hands and my eyes got as big as....something big, and she quietly whispered "no, not really. We're only 12 weeks along."

Then her MIL said "Oh my gosh! Am I missing something here?" and then I really did cover my stupid-big-fat mouth with my hands and said "oh my gosh, did I just out you? I'm so sorry!"

It was like 2 days before Christmas, and I'm sure she was planning to tell in some really cute way on Christmas, and why worry about telling me when it's that close to "we're telling people" time anyway? It's not like she's going to see me (or anyone else) in the next 2 days anyway, and who am I gonna tell? (answer: the whole blogging world.)

Can you imagine having to explain to your MIL why some random person who you barely know knew about your new baby before she did? There's no "we weren't telling people yet" excuse because you clearly told someone. So bad. So so so bad!

How do I fix this? "Gee. Sorry I ruined your grandchild announcement! Please invite me over to play sometime, OK?" Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Rolly-polly Thomas

Last night I went running even thought I didn't want to.

I got out from under the snuggly blanket on the couch and put on my much less snuggly running clothes.

I loaded my iPod with the last of the book I'm listening to (Skybreaker - I highly recommend it, but it's the 2nd in the series so read Airborn first.)

And I braved the frozen tundra that was my neighborhood to head for the gym.

It was a great run, my 5k finished well within 30 minutes. The story's end was just getting better and better. Life was great and I was glad I had gone.

I came home and heard the tv on and the child SCREAMING bloody murder from the bathroom. I ran up the stairs to see if I could help Josh with the "getting out of the bathtub" trauma that Thomas just can't seem to get over and as soon as I set foot in the bathroom doorway the 5 year old version of my husband grabbed my diaper-clad babe turned around with a grin that puts the Cheshire Cat to shame and started jumping up and down and saying "guess what! guess what! guess what!"

Of course I responded "What! what! what!" (is there any other response for that?) and then he put on his Thomas Voice

Thomas Voice: "Guess what I did for daddy mommy?"
Me: "What babe?" I said looking Thomas straight in the eye because it's rude to not make eye contact when you're talking to someone.
TV: "You have to guess."
Me: "You....screamed your head off during your bath."
TV: "Nooooope."
Me: "OK Just tell me then."
TV: "I wolled I wolled I wolled!" Thomas has a hard time saying his "r's".
Me: "What?!?!?! Without me?!?!?!?!"
Josh: "Yep! Just for me" Josh gloats.

That's what I get for running when I really don't want to. I spend at least 23 hours a day with this kid, and he goes around rolling over as soon as I set foot out of the house. Rude.

On the enormously fantastic side: My baby rolled over! All by himself! Weird how proud I am. We hugged and kissed and danced and talked about how smart his is and talked about how much I love him and how happy I am for him because this is a big. deal.

The dancing, celebrating and shouting was a really great "winding down" activity for bedtime. Maybe that's why he thought he'd wake up for the day at 3am....hmmmmm

A good cause

Remember my friend Kristina? The one who has twins and changes sheets while they jump on the bed? She's quite the amazing person.

Earlier this year she was diagnosed with MS and she's participating in Walk MS which is pretty amazing considering that less than 6 months ago (how long has it been Kristina?) she was completely paralyzed and in a wheel chair.

So because I know a million of you are generous caring people who either love Kristina (Hi Kristina's mom!) or have experience with MS (Hi Aundrea and Tambi!) or like to walk (Hi Sue!) or have a spare $25 (Hi!......OK, I don't know anybody like that....) or just like to participate in a good cause, I thought I'd let you know about it.

Here's the info on Kristina's blog, and if you'd like to participate even if you only know her through me, I'm relatively certain she would love to have you on her team.

Not to make you feel bad....

I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad or anything, but my husband is better than yours.

Even if you were married to Brad Pitt I'd tell you my husband is better looking. (Angelina? Are you out there?)

Even if you were married to Ghandi I'd tell you my husband is kinder. (......uh.....Mother Theresa? are you out there?....eh well. no matter. it was a stretch anyway.)

Even if you were married to my dad, I'd tell you my husband is a better dad (but just barely). (Mom? Hi!)

Because in real life I'm married to the greatest man alive.

This is a man who covers me with a blanket when I fall asleep on the couch. A man who did all of the Sunday dishes (unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, AND washed, dried and put away the handwash) the same day they were used. A man who set the table during my aforementioned nap (with napkins!) and even woke up early this morning with our very hungry baby so I could sleep in.

It's OK if you're jealous, I understand.

Bread Recipe

Dear Jenni (and anyone else who wants it),


I don't have your e-mail address or any better way to get in touch with you, so, here's the bread recipe. :)


4 Tbsp Sugar
2 tsp Salt
6 Tbsp oil
2 Tbsp Yeast
4 cups warm water
10-11 cups flour

Mix & knead. Let rise 1/2 hour (or until double). Form into loaves. Let rise 1/2 hour (again). Bake at 350 for 1/2 hour.


Enjoy!

Christmas: The nuts & bolts

Wanna know what was so great about Christmas this year?

Here's the short list. (Ha! As if I'm capable of a short list....bwa ha ha ha ha!)

My tree (aka the light holder...)

My mom's table settings. Lovely huh?

The nativity my nieces & nephews always do.

Christmas cards from friends.

Treats from more friends.

Our new Fontanini.

Baby's first Christmas. He's thrilled, can you tell?

Santa always seems to find us and provides our stocking stuffings every year. I heart Santa.

Baby "opened" his Christmas presents.

Part of our stocking stuffers from Santa were the ingredients to build something.

We built a creature.

Currently the name of the creature is up in the air - any suggestions? Here's a closer look.

Grandma loved the calendar Misty built for her.

Dorky Christmas outfit #2 lasted longer than the first one.

Josh was totally surprised by his new mountain bike. And he was excited enough that he rode it around the block. He really likes it and that makes me happy.

We got to talk to Caleb (Josh's younger brother who is serving a mission in Oklahoma).

My baby showed off his toe-spreading abilities. He gets it from me.

Cousins-Matching-Dorky-Christmas-Outfit photo shoot went well.

In all it was a very Merry Christmas.

All I ever wanted

This year I had everything I ever wanted for Christmas.

And I couldn't help but cry remembering last year when he was all ever wanted, and I had no idea how great he'd be.

And this year - even though he's dressed like a dork - I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and amazement that I get to be his mom.

And I'm even more thankful that I don't have to do it alone because what better team is there than this?

Having my own family to celebrate with is every bit as great as I imagined.

Running & Christmas Surprises

This morning I went running again and in my 35 minutes (plus 45 seconds because I was technically "cooling down" the last 5 minutes) I ran 3.5 miles.

It was good and I'm proud of me.

Plus I have a totally SWEET Christmas/Birthday present for Josh. And he has no idea that he's getting anything he doesn't know about. Surprises really are better than "ooh look! It's the sweater you made me try on before buying! And the game I picked out for myself! Thank you santa!!!"

I can't wait to see his face Christmas morning.

Avoiding complacency: or why my baby will never sleep through the night twice in a row.

We're "bring it on" kind of people. We don't like to get comfy and cozy and ride through life with everything going easy. So, as soon as we've mastered one thing we'll completely abandon it and move on to the next. This is why the Wii fit is covered in 6 months of dust, the "menu plan" has more scribbling-outs than check marks on it, and the Christmas shopping is officially declared "over" once I find one perfect present.

So since Thomas slept CLEAR through the night, we thought we'd better mix it up a bit.

And we took the plunge, moving him from his oh-so-cozy car seat to the big-bad-crib-of-death-and-destruction. Or at least that's how he saw it.

It started with naps - which did not go well. We tried to "cry it out" which sucks and is not successful for us. EVER. Please don't recommend Babywise. So we rocked him and soothed him and assured him that the crib isn't such a bad place. He seemed to prefer the "crying it out" since that's what he did anyway. Then we I name-called and told him not to be such a cry-baby and reminded him we I could sell him to the gypsies any time we I wanted. Then we I felt guilty for picking on my baby. Plus he was doing the adorable pouty face that you can't help but love.

Nap time was over by then. So we opted to eat instead of sleep. If I had a nickel for every time I opted to eat instead of sleep....


At bed time I was just thankful I wasn't alone anymore and Josh was there to help. 2 on 1 seems like better odds in any situation. And I showed him my appreciation.....by abandoning him for the gym.

That night Thomas slept until about 2:30 in the morning - when I again showed Josh my appreciation by making him get up with the babe. After one night I was already adjusted to sleeping through the night and couldn't function without a full night's sleep. Josh tells me he ate and went right back down, but Josh is much less whiney than me (I've pretty much covered the "I'm a whiney brat" territory right?) so I'm not sure what "right back down" really means.

Yesterday he managed 1.5 naps in his crib with relatively little sobbing.

Today it's only 1:30 and he's done 2 full naps in his crib after sleeping until 4:30 this morning.

If he keeps this up we may have to move his bed out on the balcony just for the challenge.

Christmas

Christmas at our house has generally been...less than Merry and relatively full of anxiety, stress, and whining from me. (Hard to imagine since I always have such a good attitude about things huh?)

Then a couple of nights ago in the middle of a particularly whiny and stressed out tirade from me, Josh told me that this wasn't fun anymore.

I (quite sarcastically and in the "I'm laying a trap for you and no matter what you say I'll be more mad than I already am" voice) asked Josh if he wanted his money back and trade me for a "fun" wife.

Without missing a beat he told me he didn't want his money back, he just wanted his wife back.

Normally I would've been hurt, offended, grouchy, and reminded him that it's all his fault anyway - but somehow a miracle happened (must be due to Christmas) and I realized that I wanted his wife back too.

So, I took a gigantic deep breath, boosted my oversized butt onto the counter and cut into a warm fresh loaf of bread. I did it without even counting to see if we had enough loaves or examining to make sure we were eating the "ugliest" one. (Sorry if you are the poor person who wound up with the ugliest one....that wasn't very considerate of me.)

And just like that, over a warm loaf of bread (yes the whole dang thing) and a much needed attitude change, Josh and I enjoyed Christmas for the first time this year while sitting on the counter, laughing and fighting over the last piece of bread (which we split).

And when I woke up with Thomas the next morning I fed him on the love sac in front of the tree, and we snuggled and ate and basked in the beauty of the lights and enjoyed each other's company. Turns out I was right, my tree is 10 times prettier when I see it as a reflection in my baby's eyes.

I love these parts of Christmas.

Sleep, GLORIOUS sleep

Last night my baby slept.

ALL.

NIGHT.

LONG.

I can pretty much count on 6 hours of sleep from him on a regular basis, but when I still get up at 3 or 4 am I don't really think it counts as a "sleeping through the night". Probably because I'm a big sissy.

I put him down at about 9:30 and when Josh and I woke up to get ready for the day at 6:30 he was still out cold. STILL. As in, he didn't wake up even once that whole time! I stayed up about an hour and a half after him and got up and hour before him. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Best Christmas present EVER.

Bread

I made bread today.

And I liked it.

And if I like you, you'll probably get a loaf.

But if you don't get a loaf, I probably like you anyway.
It's just that you live too far away, and I don't know your address, or have enough gas to drive that far.
And I already had to make like 50 loaves, and I'm too lazy to make 10 more.
And I think you're very nice, and pretty. In fact you should move in next door. Then you'd definitely get a loaf. Plus you could come to playgroup with me tomorrow.

Come on, do it........ You know you want to.

TWO babies?

Meet Stella. (is it OK that posted a picture of your baby Ashley? I hope that's not creepy...I just couldn't help it, have seen this girls cheeks?)

She's beautiful huh? And the picture doesn't do justice to the hair. I LOVE it. And oh those legs! And her skin! And she's sweet and kind and reverent. I might still be baby hungry......

We got to hang out with her for just a few hours, and wow. Hats off to Kristina who had twins. And Sister Platt who had triplets, then twins. And any other mother who successfully raised (and by "successfully" I mean "you all survived") more than 1 baby at a time.

The truth is Stella is a complete angel, but when my sweet baby Thomas cried, Stella followed suit (it took a while for us to decide that she was actually crying and not just "talking" because she doesn't screech and squeal like Thomas does, she makes nice angel sounds and a bit of a sad face....). And Josh sat on the love sac "leading the choir". And there I sat, with only two hands, wondering how to sooth 2 babies at one time.

He's so helpful.

And then it had been like 3 whole minutes and they both fell asleep.

And stayed that way forever.

On second thought, two babies is EASY! :) (just kidding Kristina and Sister Platt....just kidding.)

Peace

On nights like tonight, when all I really want to do is crawl in bed and cry and never leave my house again - because I still don't know how to handle it when someone I love (and who usually loves me) hurts my feelings and makes me feel stupid and unimportant and incapable - I'm thankful to walk in on images like this to ease my mind and give me peace.

Because the truth is it's all OK - because I love my boys, and they love me and they are the most important ones.

Where did he come from?

Sometimes I look at this boy and wonder where he came from.

These baby blues are something neither Josh or I can claim.  Josh is suspicious of the mailman....someday I'll learn how to take a picture that really shows how blue they are.

His inherent desire to wake up after just 4 hours of sleep certainly didn't come from either of us. But his need to be held certainly did.

And this pouty face is a gift from the Fugal family. During cryfest 2009 I finally didn't feel guilty taking pictures of the pout instead of trying to comfort it. You. are. welcome.

Some stuff Thomas does

He loves to sit up. He holds my finger while I hold his forearms and he smiles and pants (I'm afraid this might be his permanent substitute for giggling) and oohs and ahhhs until he has no more strength and then he throws his head back and lays flat on his back to rest.

He also loves to stand. The same way. And he loves to stand up from a sitting position. I'll hold his hands and help him stand from sitting and he smiles all big, then sits down and starts to stand again. Who would've thought the process of standing could be so entertaining?

He bathes. Oh how he bathes. He can be screaming and crying and fighting mad, but put that kid in the tub and he suddenly remembers just how great life is. Although I think baths are disgusting (You just sit there? Stewing in your own filth? watch the first 30 seconds of this and you'll laugh. Probably.) there are certainly days that I think a long hot bath would remind me just how great life is. He used to scream from the second you pulled him out of the water until he was fully clothed, wrapped in a blanket, rocking and eating. He's much better at getting out now and only slightly whimpers if you take too long and he gets cold. He even lets you do the lotion without losing it.

He holds his bottle. You have to balance it just right if you want him to hold it by himself, but when I feed him his almost always grabs the bottle and jams it into his face. And he holds it TIGHT the entire time he's eating. Sometimes this is a problem since you can't get a bottle into a mouth that is blocked by 10 tiny fingers and 2 not-so-tiny fists. Fortunately I'm still stronger than him (barely) and can force his hands out of the way long enough to get the bottle in (usually).

He reaches. If you put the kid in the bouncy with toys (thanks for letting us borrow your bouncy Eva!) he will reach up for them. He particularly likes the monkey....or maybe I particularly like the monkey.... He grabs the tail of the lion (which makes it sing and growl and meow) and I think his hand gets stuck in the loop because he never does it just once. It's always singgrowlmeowsinggrowlmeo then nothing for a long time.

He likes people. Clearly he gets this from his father and not his anti-social mother. But if he's crying, and I walk into the room and start to talk to him, he starts to laugh/pant. Then I leave and he cries again.

He sleeps. I think in the past week I've had more really great nights than not. Which is encouraging. He'll sleep for 5-6 hours in the first stretch of the night and then he's up at least every 3 hours after that. He's started going back to sleep much faster, which makes my nights much sleepier. No more 3 hour feeding sessions. No more pacing the hallway and dancing around the living room at 2am. No more rocking until I'm seasick and half asleep myself. It's a beautiful thing.

He cuddles. He still likes to be held. A lot. Which works out pretty well most of the time because I truly like holding him. And so does Josh. But sometimes I just need 2 seconds to myself!!! OK?!?!?!?! Fortunately Josh comes home every. single. night. so that's usually possible.

Also he's working really hard on growing hair on top. We're past the peach fuzz stage, and now we're on to real hair, although it's thin and short....we're working on it. The mullet still reigns supreme. I just don't have the guts to cut it off - I don't want to chop off his head and he's not entirely still when he's awake yet. Tips?

You know it's bad when....

It's 5:30, your husband calls to say he's coming home (finally) and you have to tell him that you're still wandering around the house in a bathrobe because you haven't had 2 free hands to pull on a pair of pants yet.

Your lunch was a pop tart that caught on fire.

Your baby stopped "spitting up" and started puking - heaving and trying to catch his breath in between each ounce of milk that comes up.

Your baby has been wearing the same (adorable) footie pajamas for more than 36 hours.

You are currently counting down the number of Everybody Loves Raymond reruns on TBS you have to watch before dad comes home and takes over.

You have no idea what happened in any of those episodes because you couldn't hear over the screams of your very upset pajama-clad baby.

Babysitting

Meleta (Josh's step-mom) was kind enough to watch our sweet sweet child while we went to the concert last night. I did much better than the last time we left him.* I even survived the 45 minute drive from the conference center to the freeway yes. conference center to FREEWAY, which is a freaking miracle because stopping at the same red light 10+ times before going through is positively infuriating.

Whoever scheduled the concert, the Jazz game, and Kurt Bestor on the same night should be hung in the street. Isn't that why we have a mayor? To make sure people don't get trapped downtown?

I think Josh's favorite part of having a babysitter is blasting the music in the car. Because I can't tell him to "turn it down, that's bad for the baby's ears." You may or may not have heard us belting out Hakuna Matata and Follow Me by Uncle Kracker.

I think the worst part of having a babysitter is coming back and him being completely fine. And them saying he was completely fine the whole time. I like to think that he needs me and misses me when I'm gone, but the truth is he's happy as long as they feed him and let him sleep whenever he wants. Which they did. and I'm glad.

Forunately Aunt Nancy had pity on me and told me he was screaming for a while just after we left. I feel bad for her because he was really really screaming. Red-faced, not-breathing, chin-quivering, vain-popping screaming. I hate that scream, it's the worst. But fortunately (for her) he stopped mid-scream to fall asleep. I've never ever heard him stop himself when he gets that mad, but apparently it's possible.

I know people who don't leave their child for the first year or two of their lives, and I take my hat off to them. It was surprisingly refreshing to get out by ourselves and feel like real people. 2 people who fit in 2 seats and just need 1 purse to keep them happy for 5 hours. A far cry from the 3 of us who take up 4 seats, need 3 bags, and can't sit in one place for more than 1 hour.

I'm really glad to have willing grandmas close by to babysit for us when we get opportunities we just can't pass up.

*We left him with Josh's mom, who lives approximately 6 minutes away from Jordan River Temple, while we did a session. On the way there we were stopped at a red light and I was "freaking out" because the light was red too long and I needed to hurry back to my baby. Josh pointed out that if I couldn't survive the 5 minute drive there, the session was gonna be rough. Which it was.

I sang with Natalie Cole

This year I entered the mormon lottery so my mom could use the tickets if I won. I have a babe you know, and going out, even for the likes of Natalie Cole, is pretty much forbidden.

Then mom called and told me she got her tickets! (yay!)

Then I found out I got her tickets too! (yay!)

And what choice did we have but to use them? I mean it's NATALIE COLE!

I heart Natalie Cole. I grew up listening to Unforgettable and thinking she was the coolest singer in the world. "Flash! Bam! Alakazam! Wonderful you came by...."

So we went to the concert last night and wow. The children's choir was amazing, the soloist incredible, Natalie was delightful (we're on a first name basis now), and the organ solo was flat out entertaining. How many times in your life have you been entertained by an organ solo? Once for me now.

But here's the clincher. she started to sing The Christmas Song because in her house it isn't Christmas until her dad (Nat King Cole) sings that song, and now he sings it through her. And she said we could join in if we'd like. A few brave souls joined at first. Then a few more.

It's not like the whole conference center sang together, and nobody sang the whole song with her, but there I was. Sitting in the same room as Natalie Cole. And she said I could sing with her. And really I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and nobody around me wanted to listen to me sing, especially not when the alternative was listening to Natalie Cole sing. But I don't care, because how many times in my life am I gonna get to sing Christmas carols with Natalie Cole? Just one. So I held Josh's hand, leaned on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and very quietly sang with Natalie Cole. "although it's been said, many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you."

And 20,000 people were there to witness it.

That was a beautiful moment.

A new leaf

We've turned a new leaf. And I'm hoping it's permanently turned. Like the kind of leaf you find in the middle of a fall day, and you pick it up because it's so beautiful and perfect and you know it would crunch perfectly if you stepped on it, but it's too pretty, so instead of stepping on it, you pick it up to look at it, but underneath it's all wet and moldy and nasty and not beautiful at all, so you put it back down turned with it's beautiful side up so nobody knows how ugly it is, and you leave it there never to be turned with the ugly side up again. (I think Ann Cannon has a run-on-sentance/worst metaphor of all time contest annually....do you think I could win?) That kind of permanently turned.

My babe slept last night. From 10 - 4. Did you know that's also when normal people sleep? He and I slept at the same time. Beautiful.

There are no words for how thankful I am.

Also there are no words to express the panic I felt every time I woke up in between. Yes, he was still in his car seat (where he sleeps because he hates that stupid crib which I think is beautiful). No, nobody came and kidnapped him while I wasn't looking. Yes, he was breathing. No, he wasn't mad at me for abandoning him for so long.

Today he's been really nice to me and followed the 3 hour babywise schedule, which was awfully nice of him. That means he's on nap #3 for the day with is exactly 2 more than he's had in any other day of his life.

My goal is to keep the wet, moldy, ugly side of the sleep-leaf down for the rest of his life. Wish me luck.