Why I Don't Need a Dog

The list of reasons we don't currently have a dog (or any other pet) and probably won't in the future begins with Josh's allergies and ends with the lack of backyard. The reasons in between aren't really that important, but they do exist.

But the list of reasons I don't need a dog anyway, is pretty short.

1. I have Bubbah.

Are you thinking "is he always eating?" the answer is yes. And however much  you feel like he's eating, imagine preparing and sharing all of those meals with him, and then you'll know how much I feel like he's eating.

This morning while lounging lazily on the couch, I threw a ball across the room. He ran after it, retrieved and expected me to throw it again. We played what can only be described as "fetch" for a solid 20 minutes. I'm not kidding.

I just walked downstairs to take out the trash. He whined until I scooped him up and brought him with me. (He might never learn to go down the stairs. That's OK with me.) After walking out to the trash can in my pajamas and bare feet I started to bring him in and he whined some more. He hand't been let out all day long. So I literally stood in the doorway and watched him run up and down the sidewalk for a while, because kids and dogs must be let out at least once each day.

He eats crackers off the living room floor. In my defense, they were the crackers he dropped there earlier in the day...wait - that doesn't really help my case. Nevermind, I have no defense. I simply allow my child to eat off the floor.

He doesn't talk - he whines, and screeches and sometimes even barks. It's like talking to Lassie. Where did the ball go? Good bo-oy. (that says boy....)


There is that tail-chasing business. Of course Tommy thinks it's "dancing".

Anyway, I always thought I wanted a dog to play with and take for walks and something that would bark at intruders. I especially wanted a lab because my friend Matt had one and he laid on that thing like it was a pillow. I wanted that. Now I lay on Josh like he's a pillow, I have enough mouths to feed and people to take for walks and Tommy's "stranger scream" is more frightening than any dog bark I've ever heard.

So I guess I'm set.