Thank you sir, for not killing me this morning.

You know when you walk across the street, INSIDE a crosswalk, and that car that’s turning right and would run over your crosswalk in doing so waits? I ALWAYS wave a “thank you” to that car.

Technically I have the right of way. That guy has to wait for me by law. The crosswalk was painted so that I could walk across the street safely. The little white man on the sign says it’s my turn to walk. But for some reason (perhaps due to the fact that the guy in the car is inching closer and closer to me and won’t back off.) I feel like I’m in his way and I owe him a little “thank you” wave. Every. Single. Time.

This morning it’s raining. I had my book carefully sheltered by my coat, my hand gripping both coat and book tightly so it won’t get wet or fall down. In my other hand was my purse carefully positioned under my armpit so it wouldn’t get everything inside wet and rained on (sounds grosser than it really is, OK?). As I walked across the street I silently prayed (“pray always” and “counsel with the Lord in all thy doings” ok? It’s not blasphemous!) that I wouldn’t lose my balance on these stupid “sin shoes” (which for some reason I insist on wearing on days I don’t have to walk back and forth to the conference center more than once) so I wouldn’t have to flail my arms and lose the delicate balance that was holding it all together.

You know where this is going, right? As I approached the end of the crosswalk, the guy in the Jeep not so patiently waited - inching closer and closer to me every second. I attempted to give him my standard “thank you” wave which totally made me lose my balance on the stupid “sin shoes” and getting the entire contents of my purse soaked with the water that had pooled on my shoulder while I was not moving so it wouldn’t get into my purse.

As I cursed myself for breaking my neck to give an unnecessary courtesy wave I tried to figure out why I do it in the first place. What am I really saying anyway? “Thank you for obeying the law” “Thanks for not running over me”, “Even though I have every right to be here and you and your big fat SUV are invading my personal bubble, I will wave and thank you for being kind enough to keep your oversized tires off my forehead.” Yes, that’s it. That is definitely what I am saying. So, dear sir, even though you drenched the contents of my purse, made me nervous and forced me to say blasphemous prayers, Thanks.... I guess.