Dear Aunt Lisa,

We only see the dentist because of you.

Seriously.

You can proudly take full credit for our toothily cleanliness.

But when I tried to change my appointment from this morning to a day you'd be in, the mean secretary yelled at me.

And she told lies.

She called me honey (in a "you pathetic creature" kind of way, not in a "what a sweet human" kind of way.) and told me that I knew I wouldn't see you when I made an appointment on Friday. I did not know.

Then she said you're booked until October - which is when I would be going back in again if I'd just keep my appointments.

So I said "fine. I'll see the scary new different hygienist" (is that what you are? a hygienist?) who, she assured me, I'd love.


Then I hung up and cried and told Josh I don't wanna go. He said I have to or my teeth will fall out of my head and these are my last set.


Scary new different hygienist was nice.

But you're nicer.

My next appointment is on a Tuesday. Because I love you more than the new girl.

I'll try not to cheat on you again.

Love,
Amy

PS You gave us a toothbrush for our baby....you know....cuz you assumed he'd probably have teeth at some point in his life, but there are no tooth sightings yet. Not even a little. Can I brush his gums? That toothbrush is so cute...it's a shame to let it sit unused.

PPS No cavities OR popcorn kernels! Are you proud?