and then I cried......again

Remember when Jamie & Cameron moved? Remember how we did everything together? Baby blessings. Baby births. Pumpkin carving. Cards and games. Barbecues. Camping. And a million other things I never bothered to blog.

There aren't really words to express exactly how I feel about Jamie. When they moved I was fairly certain my life was over because I'd never successfully lived as a grown-up without her. What if I was only capable of it because she was right there with me in every big step? What if she left and I shriveled up and died? What if I never left my house and became unsocial crazy plant lady - wait....that might have happened......

I knew it was going to be a good evening when I stopped at the mailbox (with my ginormous slurpee in hand) and saw this beauty sitting there.

That's when I started to cry - because I miss Jamie. I miss her handwriting on my whiteboard. I miss doing things with her, I miss calling on a Sunday and saying "we have extra potatoes, wanna come over?" and her saying "heck yes I do!". I miss her knowing everything there is to know. I miss her helping me want to be a better person. I miss doing mom things with her because I don't have a baby of my own. I miss Cameron and Josh taking turns doing flips onto the love sac. I miss making cute things and beautiful food. I miss having that friend who is exactly where I am (even though she isn't...), and who understands my every thought. I miss her music, her laugh, and our parties. I just miss Jamie.

Then we got home and I opened the package which contained...

These beautiful scrapbook layout pages.

This soft and smooky blanket (with no creepy faces), and one of my favorite children's books.

...and then I cried again.

This is the essence of Jamie. I'm not good at scrapbooking, but I desperately wish I was.  She is good at all things crafty and beautifying anything. I love that about her. She always helped me be more creative and didn't make fun when I wasn't good at it. Since she isn't here to help me make something beautiful for my baby, she just did all the hard work so all I have to do is stick the pictures on it! There couldn't be a better gift for someone like me. Truly.

It breaks my heart that they live so far away, but I know that no matter how far apart we live and no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other Jamie and I will always be the very best of friends. That's because I am just that lucky.