Sometimes it just comes.

Yesterday I spent 4 or 5 hours in the afternoon beating my head against the wall trying to put together my lesson on "The Power of Forgiving" for some reason the thing just wasn't coming together and I couldn't focus or clear my mind at all.

After my 3rd major breakdown Josh said he thought I should take a break and we should go get ice cream. So we did.

Then we remembered we needed to hit the grocery store before Sunday for road trip food and our contributions to Sunday dinner. While we were at the store we saw Diana Johnson who just might be the greatest woman in the entire world. As we talked to her it came up that she was teaching Sunday School today and I was teaching Relief Society. She asked how it was coming along and I told her I was really struggling with it. She said she was sure it would come together and that she thinks I'm a good teacher and we talked a bit more about each of our lessons.

To be honest I'm shocked I didn't start bawling and use the produce bag as a tissue (gross!), and probably the only reason is that I had no more liquid left in my body. I had just finished crying out breakdown #4 in the parking lot.

When we got home I went back to work on the lesson and it started to fall together really easily. Within 30 minutes I was finished and ready to do my "run through". I love her for being positive and encouraging and opening my mind so I could finish preparing. She is an amazing woman.

Our practice hymn included the sweet testimony of our incredible chorister and I'm so thankful that she shared the things she did. Somehow our lively discussion of the softball game (or lack thereof...I'm still not really clear on that) ended and everybody focused back in on the spirit. Lauren shared her testimony and we sang together to set the tone for the lesson.

I'm pretty sure I killed that beautiful tone within 10 seconds of standing up but the women in our ward brought it right back with the discussion. People commented, shared, and expressed their feelings. They were kind and considerate, insightful and helpful. Every month I plan a 25 minute lesson and only have to share 10 minutes of my own material because they are so willing to move the lesson forward.

After the meeting ended a few people came up to chat with me. Some who are moving (and I'll miss them) and some who are concerned about me moving (and I'll miss them too....if given the opportunity).

Today I totally felt like I belong in this ward. I felt connected to the people there, I smiled and those who had just come back for their first week with their new babies and I knew who they were and even their babies names! I was excited to see them and congratulate them on their new arrivals.

I knew the names of nearly all the people who commented (but I still feel stupid calling them by their names because what if I just THINK I know them, and I really don't? I'm paranoid, so I point. Sorry, I know it's rude.) and I felt like I knew where they were coming from. I felt connected to the people in our ward and I really really liked it.

I love feeling like I belong. I love feeling like I know people and they know me. I love our ward for their comments, their kindness, and their acceptance of me.

Mostly I love the days/moments when it feels like everything just comes. Sometimes the spirit doesn't hold back but not in an "in your face make you cry because your testimony is so strong" way. Just in an "everything is going well" way. The lesson falls into place in half an hour. The comments are poured out during the lesson. The Sunday School lesson means something to me. The talks in Sacrament Meeting are powerful and inspiring. The music is touching. I feel loved by those around me. Every once in a while, there are REALLY great days at church, and today was one of those days.

I love it when everything just comes.