The truth about me is that I have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. Wanna know how you can tell?
My husband JUST joined facebook (he hated it until he found out you could look at pictures of our friends babies all the time….now he likes it, but I know he’ll never check it) because he’s a little slow with things like that. Truthfully I thought it was cute that he hated facebook.
I just went to “write on his wall” because I think it’s fun to tell him that I miss him in as many different ways as possible (voice mail, e-mail, facebook mail, I’d send him a postcard if I weren’t so lazy….) when I clicked to his profile, and saw “married to: Amy Fugal Egbert” there, my heart did a little backflip.
I know it’s bad that I think “Facebooking” our relationship makes it more official than having a ceremony and promising to love each other forever, but for some reason it made it feel more official to me.
Yes, we are married. We have been for 2 years. He loves me and I know it. I love him and he knows it. But, now we are facebook married and that means that the rest of the world knows it too. And that makes my heart do backflips.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Was it you?
Tonight I didn't answer my door again. If it was you, I'm sorry.
It's just that....well I didn't want to. And last time I felt guilty about it and you all told me not to. So, this time I don't feel guilty about it. I just didn't answer because I didn't feel like talking to anybody.
Unless of course it was you, in that case, I'm so sorry I missed you stopping by, I couldn't answer the door because I was in the shower. I always shower at 6:45 and I barely heard the doorbell ring anyway, in fact I might not have heard it ring at all. Yes, that's why I didn't answer I couldn't hear the doorbell ring because I was in the shower, but please come by again, because I really did want to see you and I very much appreciate you stopping by.
It's just that....well I didn't want to. And last time I felt guilty about it and you all told me not to. So, this time I don't feel guilty about it. I just didn't answer because I didn't feel like talking to anybody.
Unless of course it was you, in that case, I'm so sorry I missed you stopping by, I couldn't answer the door because I was in the shower. I always shower at 6:45 and I barely heard the doorbell ring anyway, in fact I might not have heard it ring at all. Yes, that's why I didn't answer I couldn't hear the doorbell ring because I was in the shower, but please come by again, because I really did want to see you and I very much appreciate you stopping by.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Big moment
There are some moments in life that you just know you'll never ever forget. Sometimes it seems like the whole universe pulls together just to give you one moment.
Last night was one of those defining moments in my life. Yesterday was a little discouraging to say the least. I spent 95% of the day crying so hard I couldn't see straight.
I got up in the morning, said goodbye to Josh for the week and started to drive back to Salt Lake.
I cried on the way there because Josh was going to be gone for the week.
I cried because last night Katy told me that she thought I'd be a good mom.
I cried because I can't be a good mom.
I cried because I'm letting Josh down.
I cried because I have to teach Relief Society.
Because I'm scared to live alone.
Because I wanted God to love me.
Because a sappy song came on the radio.
Because I was crying which means I'm crazy.
There were a million reasons to cry and I used every single one of them.
After dinner at my parents house we sat around and talked for a good long time. Slowly people started to leave and eventually just my mom and I were home. We chatted about normal things, and then somehow got on the topic of babies and how I'm not having any. I don't think I've ever in my whole life spilled my guts to my mom like I did last night. I started to talk and just couldn't stop. I cried all over again, she hugged me and told me about some of her experiences. We sat on the couch and we cried. She held me and listened. She offered all the help she can possibly give me. I told her exactly how I felt when I was feeling it, and that is something I haven't done much with her. It felt so good! I got it all off my chest, she made me feel better, she made me feel loved and taken care of.
It was like I was 10 years old and had come home crying because I skinned my knee. She took care of me in the way only a mother can. It was truly the chicken soup my insides needed and it couldn't have happened if Redbox hadn't stolen my husband, if BYU didn't steal my dad, if Bishop Bowen hadn't given me a scary calling, and if my day hadn't been so over the top horrible I probably wouldn't have broken down and spilled my guts. So, I humbly tip my hat, to the man upstairs for orchestrating the worst case scenario for my day, to give me the best case scenario for my mommy and me.
Last night was one of those defining moments in my life. Yesterday was a little discouraging to say the least. I spent 95% of the day crying so hard I couldn't see straight.
I got up in the morning, said goodbye to Josh for the week and started to drive back to Salt Lake.
I cried on the way there because Josh was going to be gone for the week.
I cried because last night Katy told me that she thought I'd be a good mom.
I cried because I can't be a good mom.
I cried because I'm letting Josh down.
I cried because I have to teach Relief Society.
Because I'm scared to live alone.
Because I wanted God to love me.
Because a sappy song came on the radio.
Because I was crying which means I'm crazy.
There were a million reasons to cry and I used every single one of them.
After dinner at my parents house we sat around and talked for a good long time. Slowly people started to leave and eventually just my mom and I were home. We chatted about normal things, and then somehow got on the topic of babies and how I'm not having any. I don't think I've ever in my whole life spilled my guts to my mom like I did last night. I started to talk and just couldn't stop. I cried all over again, she hugged me and told me about some of her experiences. We sat on the couch and we cried. She held me and listened. She offered all the help she can possibly give me. I told her exactly how I felt when I was feeling it, and that is something I haven't done much with her. It felt so good! I got it all off my chest, she made me feel better, she made me feel loved and taken care of.
It was like I was 10 years old and had come home crying because I skinned my knee. She took care of me in the way only a mother can. It was truly the chicken soup my insides needed and it couldn't have happened if Redbox hadn't stolen my husband, if BYU didn't steal my dad, if Bishop Bowen hadn't given me a scary calling, and if my day hadn't been so over the top horrible I probably wouldn't have broken down and spilled my guts. So, I humbly tip my hat, to the man upstairs for orchestrating the worst case scenario for my day, to give me the best case scenario for my mommy and me.
New Calling
Thank you people.
Your guesses at my new calling reminded me of some of the things that would be worse than teaching relief society.
Yes that’s right, they asked me to teach Relief Society, but get this – Bishop Bowen (who I already love dearly) said “I’m sure you’ll be really great at this calling because as you demonstrated when you spoke in Sacrament meeting a few weeks ago, you’re very good at communicating your feelings in that type of situation.” Seriously, he said that. Then he told me that “it will be stressful at first, but you’ll ease into it and become comfortable and as that happens, your personality will come out in your lessons and that’s why you’re being called, because of your personality, so make sure you allow that to happen.”
I don’t mean to be irreverent, or doubt Bishop Bowen or Sister Lossee’s ability to be inspired, but seriously? My personality seems like one that wants to stand in front of a classroom of beautiful intelligent mothers and tell them how to live the gospel better and tell them all about my most personal and deep and intimate feelings? I had no idea that was the vibe I was giving out.
Well, in one GIANT leap of faith, I accepted the calling and will being finding out more about what/when I’ll be teaching later.
Now that I’ll be teaching, you’re all gonna hear all about it on a regular basis. Hopefully it'll turn into one of those really fantastic learning experiences like being on student council, or getting married, or not having a baby when I want to. This is me surrendering.
Oh, also you should know that the Bishop tole me to let Josh know that he shouldn't "rest easy" because he'll be getting his calling next week. The only reason he hasnt' been called yet is that he's been requested in a few different organizations and they're still deciding who gets him. Yep, that's my husband the one people fight over.
Your guesses at my new calling reminded me of some of the things that would be worse than teaching relief society.
Yes that’s right, they asked me to teach Relief Society, but get this – Bishop Bowen (who I already love dearly) said “I’m sure you’ll be really great at this calling because as you demonstrated when you spoke in Sacrament meeting a few weeks ago, you’re very good at communicating your feelings in that type of situation.” Seriously, he said that. Then he told me that “it will be stressful at first, but you’ll ease into it and become comfortable and as that happens, your personality will come out in your lessons and that’s why you’re being called, because of your personality, so make sure you allow that to happen.”
I don’t mean to be irreverent, or doubt Bishop Bowen or Sister Lossee’s ability to be inspired, but seriously? My personality seems like one that wants to stand in front of a classroom of beautiful intelligent mothers and tell them how to live the gospel better and tell them all about my most personal and deep and intimate feelings? I had no idea that was the vibe I was giving out.
Well, in one GIANT leap of faith, I accepted the calling and will being finding out more about what/when I’ll be teaching later.
Now that I’ll be teaching, you’re all gonna hear all about it on a regular basis. Hopefully it'll turn into one of those really fantastic learning experiences like being on student council, or getting married, or not having a baby when I want to. This is me surrendering.
Oh, also you should know that the Bishop tole me to let Josh know that he shouldn't "rest easy" because he'll be getting his calling next week. The only reason he hasnt' been called yet is that he's been requested in a few different organizations and they're still deciding who gets him. Yep, that's my husband the one people fight over.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
It's Autumn Time
I love this time of year for about million reasons:
crunchy leaves
holidays
colors
cool air
rain
clouds
harvest food
to name a few. This time of year also reminds me of falling in love with Josh because this was the time of year that happened. We had so much fun and did so many awesome things when we were dating and 99% of those memories are happy ones. First kisses, walks around Salt Lake at night, temple trips, hikes, mountains, going to the zoo, and learning new things together were some of the things we enjoyed. Every year at this time, I start to crave those adventurous falling in love feelings again. I remember how much I love Josh and how much fun we have together. I am generally a happier person in the Fall than in any other season.
The year we started dating also happened to be the year of the "Read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year" challenge. Josh got just a little behind, and I finished early, so I spent a lot of time reading aloud to him, which was a fantastic experience. I remember my own feelings I as finished and how much peace I felt about life at that time. I remember kneeling to pray in my room after Jamie had gone to work and knowing without any question that this book was true, and I was doing the things in my life that I needed to. I remember reading with Josh and loving the review of what I had just read. This time of year always makes me crave the Book of Mormon too, and that's a craving I'm really grateful for.
I figured out a few weeks ago that if I just read 5 pages a day, I can finish by the end of the year....again. We'll see if I can keep it up, but so far I'm actually doing really well and I'm LOVING it.
Josh and I also started reading D&C together for our family scripture study, which has been really interesting. As we read through Section 10 Josh pointed out that it says over and over again that satan or the devil was stirring up their hearts and it kindof made me think. Does Satan have any kind of power/control over our minds? There are plenty of times he messes with our emotions and feelings and "stirs up our hearts" but can he "stir up our minds"? Is that out of his power? We had just read before in section 8 that when the spirit testifies, it happens to our minds and hearts not just our hearts, and not just our minds. I'm still not sure on this, but it seems like a nice idea that our minds are something that we get to be the boss of and that satan has no power over.....if I find a doctorinely sound thought on this, I'll share it.
crunchy leaves
holidays
colors
cool air
rain
clouds
harvest food
to name a few. This time of year also reminds me of falling in love with Josh because this was the time of year that happened. We had so much fun and did so many awesome things when we were dating and 99% of those memories are happy ones. First kisses, walks around Salt Lake at night, temple trips, hikes, mountains, going to the zoo, and learning new things together were some of the things we enjoyed. Every year at this time, I start to crave those adventurous falling in love feelings again. I remember how much I love Josh and how much fun we have together. I am generally a happier person in the Fall than in any other season.
The year we started dating also happened to be the year of the "Read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year" challenge. Josh got just a little behind, and I finished early, so I spent a lot of time reading aloud to him, which was a fantastic experience. I remember my own feelings I as finished and how much peace I felt about life at that time. I remember kneeling to pray in my room after Jamie had gone to work and knowing without any question that this book was true, and I was doing the things in my life that I needed to. I remember reading with Josh and loving the review of what I had just read. This time of year always makes me crave the Book of Mormon too, and that's a craving I'm really grateful for.
I figured out a few weeks ago that if I just read 5 pages a day, I can finish by the end of the year....again. We'll see if I can keep it up, but so far I'm actually doing really well and I'm LOVING it.
Josh and I also started reading D&C together for our family scripture study, which has been really interesting. As we read through Section 10 Josh pointed out that it says over and over again that satan or the devil was stirring up their hearts and it kindof made me think. Does Satan have any kind of power/control over our minds? There are plenty of times he messes with our emotions and feelings and "stirs up our hearts" but can he "stir up our minds"? Is that out of his power? We had just read before in section 8 that when the spirit testifies, it happens to our minds and hearts not just our hearts, and not just our minds. I'm still not sure on this, but it seems like a nice idea that our minds are something that we get to be the boss of and that satan has no power over.....if I find a doctorinely sound thought on this, I'll share it.
Some feelings I've had
I've been avoiding terribly serious subjects in my blog mostly because they make me cry and I'm not pretty when I cry. I have enough not-pretty moments without bringing them on myself, so I generally avoid crying when I can. But, today it all kindof came to a head. So, if you're about to brave reading the next couple of posts, I'd just like to say "welcome to the emotional roller coaster that is my life."
When I was a little girl, my sisters taught me this song that went "When I grow up, I want to be a mother / have a family / one little, two little, three little babies of my own." Then since you can't really remember the other lyrics, you just sing it a million times and just keep counting. Eventually you start over though because "20 little, 21 little, 22 little" doesn't quite fit the rhythm it should.
On Sundays we'd go for bike rides/walks to the elementary school playground that was just down the street, and I would sit on the lowest swing so my feet would still touch the ground. While my siblings would go off playing four-square, tetherball, and swinging like normal people, I'd slowly rock back and forth on the swing, my feet never leaving the ground singing/humming this song to myself and pretending I was knitting something in my lap. I knew I was way more mature than my siblings who were galavanting around and I thought to myself those kids are just so funny sometimes and I'd shake my head like if they only knew what I know....someday they'll grow up.
I guess that was kindof the beginning of it for me. I've always wanted to be a mom. A lot.
When I was 12 I was babysitting full time (seriously, like 8 hours a day) for a family up the street from me, and I knew I would be the world's greatest mom because I practically lived with these kids and I took care of everything they needed. I helped with school and homework, piano lessons, I cooked and cleaned, they called me to come babysit when they went to the hospital to have their last child, I knew very well that this was just practice and that I'd be a fantastic mom as soon as I got married.
Well, Josh and I have been married for 2 years now, and I'm sure you've noticed that Junior is the closest we've come to having a child. My heart hurts that we haven't had any kids yet. It hurts to see other people with their perfect families and it really hurts to see people who don't even want kids having them.
It seems completely unfair that some 17 year old girl who (pardon me for being bold) shouldn't even be having sex, much less having BABIES is pregnant, while I (a person who likes to pretend the swingset is a rocking chair and wants to sing lullabyes and wake up at 2 in the morning to feed a baby and change diapers and look at his/her beautiful perfect little face all day long) have been trying forever to have a baby and for some reason just can't.
My heart just wants to cry when I see how big "baby Logan" is and remember that if my body worked the way it should, he could be mine.
I am worried that the reason we haven't had any luck yet is that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to. We aren't ready, or good enough, or prepared enough, or smart enough, or righteous enough. There's something wrong with us and that's why Heavenly Father is holding our little ones back, and that scares me. Wheat if I'm never good enough? How am I less qualified than that 17 year old girl? Why not me? I see other people who are parents and think "I could at least be as good of a mom as _____ is, right?" What is so wrong with me that this isn't happening for us?
On the plus side, I have a fantastic husband who is loving and supportive. He lets me cry to him everytime I start my period and can't handle it because it means I'm still not good enough. He hold my hand and hurts with me, and I'm really glad I'm not alone on this one.
I also have sisters who have quite possibly the world's cutest kids. And they are so generous and let us play with their kids pretty much anytime we want. They let me tag along on their mommy outings and even like that my husband loves their kids as much as he will love ours.
So, someday I hope that Josh and I will have "one little, two little, three little babies of our own." but in the meantime, I am eternally grateful that I have a family who knows how to share.
When I was a little girl, my sisters taught me this song that went "When I grow up, I want to be a mother / have a family / one little, two little, three little babies of my own." Then since you can't really remember the other lyrics, you just sing it a million times and just keep counting. Eventually you start over though because "20 little, 21 little, 22 little" doesn't quite fit the rhythm it should.
On Sundays we'd go for bike rides/walks to the elementary school playground that was just down the street, and I would sit on the lowest swing so my feet would still touch the ground. While my siblings would go off playing four-square, tetherball, and swinging like normal people, I'd slowly rock back and forth on the swing, my feet never leaving the ground singing/humming this song to myself and pretending I was knitting something in my lap. I knew I was way more mature than my siblings who were galavanting around and I thought to myself those kids are just so funny sometimes and I'd shake my head like if they only knew what I know....someday they'll grow up.
I guess that was kindof the beginning of it for me. I've always wanted to be a mom. A lot.
When I was 12 I was babysitting full time (seriously, like 8 hours a day) for a family up the street from me, and I knew I would be the world's greatest mom because I practically lived with these kids and I took care of everything they needed. I helped with school and homework, piano lessons, I cooked and cleaned, they called me to come babysit when they went to the hospital to have their last child, I knew very well that this was just practice and that I'd be a fantastic mom as soon as I got married.
Well, Josh and I have been married for 2 years now, and I'm sure you've noticed that Junior is the closest we've come to having a child. My heart hurts that we haven't had any kids yet. It hurts to see other people with their perfect families and it really hurts to see people who don't even want kids having them.
It seems completely unfair that some 17 year old girl who (pardon me for being bold) shouldn't even be having sex, much less having BABIES is pregnant, while I (a person who likes to pretend the swingset is a rocking chair and wants to sing lullabyes and wake up at 2 in the morning to feed a baby and change diapers and look at his/her beautiful perfect little face all day long) have been trying forever to have a baby and for some reason just can't.
My heart just wants to cry when I see how big "baby Logan" is and remember that if my body worked the way it should, he could be mine.
I am worried that the reason we haven't had any luck yet is that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to. We aren't ready, or good enough, or prepared enough, or smart enough, or righteous enough. There's something wrong with us and that's why Heavenly Father is holding our little ones back, and that scares me. Wheat if I'm never good enough? How am I less qualified than that 17 year old girl? Why not me? I see other people who are parents and think "I could at least be as good of a mom as _____ is, right?" What is so wrong with me that this isn't happening for us?
On the plus side, I have a fantastic husband who is loving and supportive. He lets me cry to him everytime I start my period and can't handle it because it means I'm still not good enough. He hold my hand and hurts with me, and I'm really glad I'm not alone on this one.
I also have sisters who have quite possibly the world's cutest kids. And they are so generous and let us play with their kids pretty much anytime we want. They let me tag along on their mommy outings and even like that my husband loves their kids as much as he will love ours.
So, someday I hope that Josh and I will have "one little, two little, three little babies of our own." but in the meantime, I am eternally grateful that I have a family who knows how to share.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The unmentionables
I think most people have taboo topics, those things that they just choose not to talk about because they’re too painful, hard, or private.
One of the things I loved most about Josh was that we didn’t really have any of those. From the very beginning we’ve been very open and honest with each other, and I really don’t think there’s anything we avoid talking about. Sure we have moments that we’d rather not discuss something because of the surrounding circumstances, but we always come back to those topics and we always hash it out until that topic has been totally covered and we both feel good about it. It’s one of the HUGE benefits of being whooped over someone who is into emotions and stuff.
Yesterday I think we found our first (and hopefully only) taboo topic. Football.
I have never understood the rules to football, I’ve tried before, but I just don’t get it. What with all the “downs” and “lines” and “plays” and what not. My brain just can’t handle it. But, since Josh and I are SOO good at communicating, I thought maybe he could successfully explain it to me.
By the 5th time he had tried to explain why it is that when you get across the moving 10 yard line, you get “1st down”. And if you don’t get across it, it’s a “down” too. And if you get a touchdown, that’s a “down”. Everything is DOWN in this game! He started getting mad at me, he was ready to wring my neck and throw me out of Walmart because he was so frustrated. It is now our taboo topic. We don’t talk about the rules of football which are, according to Josh, very simple. Fortunately for me, he’s not really into watching the games and he doesn’t follow it that closely, so it’s no big deal that we can’t talk about it. Someday maybe I’ll learn…..but not today and not from Josh.
One of the things I loved most about Josh was that we didn’t really have any of those. From the very beginning we’ve been very open and honest with each other, and I really don’t think there’s anything we avoid talking about. Sure we have moments that we’d rather not discuss something because of the surrounding circumstances, but we always come back to those topics and we always hash it out until that topic has been totally covered and we both feel good about it. It’s one of the HUGE benefits of being whooped over someone who is into emotions and stuff.
Yesterday I think we found our first (and hopefully only) taboo topic. Football.
I have never understood the rules to football, I’ve tried before, but I just don’t get it. What with all the “downs” and “lines” and “plays” and what not. My brain just can’t handle it. But, since Josh and I are SOO good at communicating, I thought maybe he could successfully explain it to me.
By the 5th time he had tried to explain why it is that when you get across the moving 10 yard line, you get “1st down”. And if you don’t get across it, it’s a “down” too. And if you get a touchdown, that’s a “down”. Everything is DOWN in this game! He started getting mad at me, he was ready to wring my neck and throw me out of Walmart because he was so frustrated. It is now our taboo topic. We don’t talk about the rules of football which are, according to Josh, very simple. Fortunately for me, he’s not really into watching the games and he doesn’t follow it that closely, so it’s no big deal that we can’t talk about it. Someday maybe I’ll learn…..but not today and not from Josh.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Another reason Josh doesn't need me
Redbox is making Josh spend the week in Vegas. Not something I'm thrilled about, but when you work for a company as cool as Redbox, you take the little negatives and remember that the free hat that says "Redbox" on it TOTALLY makes up for it.
Since he'll be in an strange city trying to get to specific locations all week, he borrowed the company GPS unit to help him get around.
That thing is COOL. She's a genius. Not only does she tell you when and where to turn, but she tells you one direction in advance, like "turn left here, then Right" so you have an idea of which lane you belong in. You can also do things like "entertainment > bowling" and she tells you that you're right next to Boutiful Bowling without even knowing it! What a fantastic machine. Something tells me that I'm going to be just as excited when we finally get a DVR/TiVO. I already don't know how we ever lived without the nice GPS lady.....I'm never going back to normal life.
Since he'll be in an strange city trying to get to specific locations all week, he borrowed the company GPS unit to help him get around.
That thing is COOL. She's a genius. Not only does she tell you when and where to turn, but she tells you one direction in advance, like "turn left here, then Right" so you have an idea of which lane you belong in. You can also do things like "entertainment > bowling" and she tells you that you're right next to Boutiful Bowling without even knowing it! What a fantastic machine. Something tells me that I'm going to be just as excited when we finally get a DVR/TiVO. I already don't know how we ever lived without the nice GPS lady.....I'm never going back to normal life.
Best. Friday. Ever.
Josh and I have been in a rut. We're boring lately. Weekends full of....nothing, which I REALLY needed when we started having boring weekend, but now we're....well....bored.
So, today I got off work early (woot woot! working for a place that doesn't like overtime is nice sometimes....) and we went to the temple for a fantastic session. Seriously fantastic. I love Salt Lake.
Once we got home, Josh took me on a hot dinner date at Chli's, which I was pretty nervous about because the last few times we've gone there (over that past few years....it's not like I go every weekend) it's been a nightmare. Like we don't even get menus within the first 15 minutes that we're there....literally. Anyway, this was a fantastic time and everybody was nice and normal and not creepy and most importantly, they brought our food when we asked them for it. It's amazing what that will do for you. :)
Josh tried to teach me the rules to football (I know, I know, something I really should know by now) using the tiles in the table as yard lines...and then we went to Walmart to grab some things I needed (I'm sorry, but when your flat-iron doesn't heat up and you have a "little bit of wave" in your hair, you GOTSTA have a flat iron). Josh tried some more to teach me football in the parking lot, with the handicapped stalls as the end zone and parking lines as yard lines. He was thinking life size would make it better, but it didn't.
On our way home we decided to go bowling (I know we're so spontaneous!) and I beat Josh.....once. On the way home of course we needed ice cream and I learned that a malt is VERY different from a shake, in a bad way. A mistake I'll never make again.
We tried unsuccessfully to get Josh's borrowed GPS lady between Bountiful and our house, and we still got home at a reasonable hour! Seriously, this was the Best. Friday. Ever.
So, today I got off work early (woot woot! working for a place that doesn't like overtime is nice sometimes....) and we went to the temple for a fantastic session. Seriously fantastic. I love Salt Lake.
Once we got home, Josh took me on a hot dinner date at Chli's, which I was pretty nervous about because the last few times we've gone there (over that past few years....it's not like I go every weekend) it's been a nightmare. Like we don't even get menus within the first 15 minutes that we're there....literally. Anyway, this was a fantastic time and everybody was nice and normal and not creepy and most importantly, they brought our food when we asked them for it. It's amazing what that will do for you. :)
Josh tried to teach me the rules to football (I know, I know, something I really should know by now) using the tiles in the table as yard lines...and then we went to Walmart to grab some things I needed (I'm sorry, but when your flat-iron doesn't heat up and you have a "little bit of wave" in your hair, you GOTSTA have a flat iron). Josh tried some more to teach me football in the parking lot, with the handicapped stalls as the end zone and parking lines as yard lines. He was thinking life size would make it better, but it didn't.
On our way home we decided to go bowling (I know we're so spontaneous!) and I beat Josh.....once. On the way home of course we needed ice cream and I learned that a malt is VERY different from a shake, in a bad way. A mistake I'll never make again.
We tried unsuccessfully to get Josh's borrowed GPS lady between Bountiful and our house, and we still got home at a reasonable hour! Seriously, this was the Best. Friday. Ever.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Why was I late for work today?
Most days I get to blame it on my husband, who for some unknown reason can't get out the door until 10 minutes AFTER I told him I wanted him to. It's not like I don't let him know what time we need to leave, or what time it is right now, or how many minutes are between those.
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7: 15, that means we only have 15 minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:19, that means we only have 11 minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:26, that means we only have (muttering to myself) one, two, three FOUR minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:34, we're already 4 minutes late and we haven't even left yet!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7: 15, that means we only have 15 minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:19, that means we only have 11 minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:26, that means we only have (muttering to myself) one, two, three FOUR minutes!"
"We're leaving at 7:30, it's 7:34, we're already 4 minutes late and we haven't even left yet!"
Today that was not the case. Miraculously, Josh was ready at 7:29. I folded some laundry and stepped into the car at exactly 7:30 because that's just the kind of "Mary Poppins perfect" girl I am. However, the universe (or whatever) had other plans for us:
For those of you who don't recongize this sight, it's what happens when you live on "the other side of the tracks". We couldn't see the end of this train, which is really depressing because these things move s-l-o-w-l-y
So, I had a pretty darn good reason for my tardiness, what's your escuse?
A dollar a day
If I had a dollar for every time I thought to myself he/she is just the nicest guy/girl. I probably would have earned a million dollars just since I started working for The Mormons.
My average day involves being told that I “did a great job” or provided “just what I wanted” or “solved that problem quickly” just a quick “thanks” or any number of other positive comments about every 10 seconds. And that’s one of the biggest reasons I currently love my job.
In elementary school I vividly remember the lesson on the number 1 million (maybe it was billion....maybe it's not so vivid.....) because our teacher was concerned that “in this day and age (*is it weird that Josh says that phrase all the time? I think so, but I love him anyway.) kids just don’t know the value of a million. Then she followed it with a picture book and bunch of statistics about how big a million really was. I guess she was right to be concerned because I use the phrase “about a million” about a million times a day, and I suppose that when I use it that often, I must be exaggerating....at least a little.
My average day involves being told that I “did a great job” or provided “just what I wanted” or “solved that problem quickly” just a quick “thanks” or any number of other positive comments about every 10 seconds. And that’s one of the biggest reasons I currently love my job.
In elementary school I vividly remember the lesson on the number 1 million (maybe it was billion....maybe it's not so vivid.....) because our teacher was concerned that “in this day and age (*is it weird that Josh says that phrase all the time? I think so, but I love him anyway.) kids just don’t know the value of a million. Then she followed it with a picture book and bunch of statistics about how big a million really was. I guess she was right to be concerned because I use the phrase “about a million” about a million times a day, and I suppose that when I use it that often, I must be exaggerating....at least a little.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Thank goodness it's Friday
I love my husband, I really do. I think he's the kindest, gentlest, funniest man on the planet and I would rather be married to him than anybody else on the planet.
He got me sick. AND woke me up in the middle of the night. I started to fall asleep around 11:30, Josh was still bored and didn't want to go to sleep. At about 2:30 he woke me up again because he was bored.
I woke up with him and we talked, for like 2 hours, and now, miraculously he's tired, and here I am disappointed because I have no blogs to read (what's wrong with you people? you don't write posts between the hours of midnight and 5AM?), and I'm stuck writing my own blog while I watch "3 men and a little lady". This used to be one of my favorite movies, probably because I thought I was so grown up for liking it....now I'm not so sure, but it definitely beats out the informercials that would almost certainly suck me in.
My alarm clock just went off....and that concerns me. I wake up entirely too early in the morning, and I can tell because I feel like I haven't even gone to bed yet and I should be getting up for the day right now.....thank goodness it's now Saturday and I don't have to wake up.....ever. I'm sniffling, sneezing, and focusing on breathing and I swear if I ever get to sleep again I'm never waking up. You can't make me no matter how bored and restless you are!
He got me sick. AND woke me up in the middle of the night. I started to fall asleep around 11:30, Josh was still bored and didn't want to go to sleep. At about 2:30 he woke me up again because he was bored.
I woke up with him and we talked, for like 2 hours, and now, miraculously he's tired, and here I am disappointed because I have no blogs to read (what's wrong with you people? you don't write posts between the hours of midnight and 5AM?), and I'm stuck writing my own blog while I watch "3 men and a little lady". This used to be one of my favorite movies, probably because I thought I was so grown up for liking it....now I'm not so sure, but it definitely beats out the informercials that would almost certainly suck me in.
My alarm clock just went off....and that concerns me. I wake up entirely too early in the morning, and I can tell because I feel like I haven't even gone to bed yet and I should be getting up for the day right now.....thank goodness it's now Saturday and I don't have to wake up.....ever. I'm sniffling, sneezing, and focusing on breathing and I swear if I ever get to sleep again I'm never waking up. You can't make me no matter how bored and restless you are!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’?
I’m not the most patriotic person on the planet, and I don’t have a yellow ribbon on my car, and I didn’t put a “gone but not forgotten” thing in my front yard. I don’t plant flowers for the troops who have died, and I don’t even know anybody serving this country in the military. But, I will never ever forget, as long as I live, where I was on September 11, 2001.
I had gone to school early and was sitting in an FBLA meeting when another teacher at the high school came in and told us to turn on the news. She said it while she choked back tears, and we knew she meant business right away.
It took days for me to realize that I was watching (we watched all through school all week) something happen that would change this country forever. In fact, I remember my English teacher (R. Thompson woot! woot!) telling us that what we were seeing would be a big deal forever. She told us it was the “Pearl Harbor” of our generation, and I thought she had lost her mind. People wrote papers and did research projects about Pearl Harbor and the years following. Who in their right mind would want to research the year 2001?
Now that I’m older and wiser (just saying the word 'wise' makes you automatically old, so I’m even older now than I was before that sentence) I get that it won’t always be something that people remember. When I look back and remember the “gallons” going up faster than that “$$$” at the gas station, I realize that things have changed, just in the 5 short years since I graduated from high school, the world has changed dramatically. I suppose I’m starting to be able to imagine a time that my kids, (or grandkids) will think it’s crazy that I remember September 11 (the first one), they’ll interview me for the research papers and I’ll chuckle that I’m old enough to have lived through “history”. When I tell them the reason I’m chuckling they’ll look at me like I’m crazy for not recognizing that I’m ancient, just like I did to my grandparents. I’m starting to believe that somebody else may care about the things that happened during my childhood/teenage years, and that is a very strange feeling.
So, on this September 11th, I just want to say that I’m glad to live in this mixed up crazy country. I’m glad that we’re all free to express our stupid opinions and that sometimes those who have good opinions lead the rest of us along. Today, I’m proud to be an American. (‘where at least I know I’m free……’ remember when they used to play songs like that before the pledge in elementary school? We all thought it was cool to “staaaaannd UP!.........next to God”)
I had gone to school early and was sitting in an FBLA meeting when another teacher at the high school came in and told us to turn on the news. She said it while she choked back tears, and we knew she meant business right away.
It took days for me to realize that I was watching (we watched all through school all week) something happen that would change this country forever. In fact, I remember my English teacher (R. Thompson woot! woot!) telling us that what we were seeing would be a big deal forever. She told us it was the “Pearl Harbor” of our generation, and I thought she had lost her mind. People wrote papers and did research projects about Pearl Harbor and the years following. Who in their right mind would want to research the year 2001?
Now that I’m older and wiser (just saying the word 'wise' makes you automatically old, so I’m even older now than I was before that sentence) I get that it won’t always be something that people remember. When I look back and remember the “gallons” going up faster than that “$$$” at the gas station, I realize that things have changed, just in the 5 short years since I graduated from high school, the world has changed dramatically. I suppose I’m starting to be able to imagine a time that my kids, (or grandkids) will think it’s crazy that I remember September 11 (the first one), they’ll interview me for the research papers and I’ll chuckle that I’m old enough to have lived through “history”. When I tell them the reason I’m chuckling they’ll look at me like I’m crazy for not recognizing that I’m ancient, just like I did to my grandparents. I’m starting to believe that somebody else may care about the things that happened during my childhood/teenage years, and that is a very strange feeling.
So, on this September 11th, I just want to say that I’m glad to live in this mixed up crazy country. I’m glad that we’re all free to express our stupid opinions and that sometimes those who have good opinions lead the rest of us along. Today, I’m proud to be an American. (‘where at least I know I’m free……’ remember when they used to play songs like that before the pledge in elementary school? We all thought it was cool to “staaaaannd UP!.........next to God”)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
New lows
I've learned that running every day for 2 months and making "running" a category on my blog does not make me a runner. I haven't been running since the cruise.....
I'm sitting on my butt, too lazy to go get a handful of the Cadbury mini eggs that are calling to me from the kitchen.
I haven't been grocery shopping in so long that I discovered the aforementioned mini eggs in the back of my cupboard where they've been hiding since Easter.
I made dinner last night and Josh couldn't stop talking about how much he loves it when I cook for him. (He's into reinforcing good behavior instead of whining about bad behavior.) That's when I realized it's been weeks since I cooked anything.
When I got my hair cut and dyed I blew my hair dry 3 days in a row, and I was proud of that. Today I pulled my wet hair back in a ponytail in the car on my way to work and it felt like coming home.
We've spent more time/money on video games in the past week and a half than I have in the rest of my 22 years combined.
I'm sitting on my butt, too lazy to go get a handful of the Cadbury mini eggs that are calling to me from the kitchen.
I haven't been grocery shopping in so long that I discovered the aforementioned mini eggs in the back of my cupboard where they've been hiding since Easter.
I made dinner last night and Josh couldn't stop talking about how much he loves it when I cook for him. (He's into reinforcing good behavior instead of whining about bad behavior.) That's when I realized it's been weeks since I cooked anything.
When I got my hair cut and dyed I blew my hair dry 3 days in a row, and I was proud of that. Today I pulled my wet hair back in a ponytail in the car on my way to work and it felt like coming home.
We've spent more time/money on video games in the past week and a half than I have in the rest of my 22 years combined.
New Girl bugs
I’m watching Bones (I’m only a little addicted….) and the new girl is buggin’ me. I know she’s supposed to bug me, but still….ew.
When I lived with some of my favorite people in the whole world at the Business College Dorms, one of those people ran off and got married. Her replacement was affectionately nicknamed “New Girl” but we only called her that when she wasn’t around (does it still count as a nick name if she doesn’t know it exists?). She bugged me too. She was skinny and pretty and a cheerleader. She had a cheerleader boyfriend and she was entirely too peppy for my tastes. I’m sure she was nice, but I literally slept on the couch most nights because it felt weird to go to bed with anybody but Hailey. So, I’d wait for New Girl to fall asleep in our room, and sneak in after she was asleep, but most of the time I’d fall asleep first and just stay on the couch all night. Fortunately my roommates didn’t kick me out of the house, and they were all incredibly nice to me. Even New Girl. I don’t have a clue what happened to her, but anytime any new girl bugs me, she is what I think of.
When I lived with some of my favorite people in the whole world at the Business College Dorms, one of those people ran off and got married. Her replacement was affectionately nicknamed “New Girl” but we only called her that when she wasn’t around (does it still count as a nick name if she doesn’t know it exists?). She bugged me too. She was skinny and pretty and a cheerleader. She had a cheerleader boyfriend and she was entirely too peppy for my tastes. I’m sure she was nice, but I literally slept on the couch most nights because it felt weird to go to bed with anybody but Hailey. So, I’d wait for New Girl to fall asleep in our room, and sneak in after she was asleep, but most of the time I’d fall asleep first and just stay on the couch all night. Fortunately my roommates didn’t kick me out of the house, and they were all incredibly nice to me. Even New Girl. I don’t have a clue what happened to her, but anytime any new girl bugs me, she is what I think of.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Spiders and Schizophrenia
I’m a scared ‘a spiders. But only sometimes. Case and point (is that a real saying? Who says that? I’m gonna try to pull it off, but you should know that I know that it’s borderline for me….):
This morning just as I was getting out of the shower, Josh came in the bathroom to brush his teeth. He pointed at the wall and mumbled something about a spider, I screamed like a pretty princess and hid behind the closet door until he had killed it dead. Then I seriously considered cleaning the tub with bleach and showering again, but took one look at the clock and decided that 20 minute really wasn’t long enough for that.
5 minutes ago, I was sitting at my desk and saw a small spider scamper across the counter. I quietly grabbed a Kleenex, killed the thing and threw it in the garbage can. This leads me to believe I am:
a) I’m a schizophrenic and one of my personalities is scared of spiders and one is not. The one that is lives at my house, and the one that is not goes to work.
b) I’m a big fat liar. I’m not really scared, but I fake it so I can pretend my husband rescues me on a regular basis which is much more romantic than rescuing myself.
c) Seriously that moody. Which is probably the most likely because there are times I’m too scared to call and order pizza and other times that I am brave enough to not only call, but have it out with the cell phone company for charging me a fee to NOT use their service.
Am I the only one who does this kind of crap? Some days I really just don’t feel like I’m the same person I was this morning…..
This morning just as I was getting out of the shower, Josh came in the bathroom to brush his teeth. He pointed at the wall and mumbled something about a spider, I screamed like a pretty princess and hid behind the closet door until he had killed it dead. Then I seriously considered cleaning the tub with bleach and showering again, but took one look at the clock and decided that 20 minute really wasn’t long enough for that.
5 minutes ago, I was sitting at my desk and saw a small spider scamper across the counter. I quietly grabbed a Kleenex, killed the thing and threw it in the garbage can. This leads me to believe I am:
a) I’m a schizophrenic and one of my personalities is scared of spiders and one is not. The one that is lives at my house, and the one that is not goes to work.
b) I’m a big fat liar. I’m not really scared, but I fake it so I can pretend my husband rescues me on a regular basis which is much more romantic than rescuing myself.
c) Seriously that moody. Which is probably the most likely because there are times I’m too scared to call and order pizza and other times that I am brave enough to not only call, but have it out with the cell phone company for charging me a fee to NOT use their service.
Am I the only one who does this kind of crap? Some days I really just don’t feel like I’m the same person I was this morning…..
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Misty and Ryan's wedding
This week has been nuts partly because of "the wedding", which turned out beautifully!
Misty is Josh's older sister, and we were so excited to be able to go to the temple with her to watch her be sealed to Ryan. We always love going to other people's wedding ceremonies to remember the things we should be doing and to be able to hear the advice given to others. What a great blessing it is for us to be able to go to the temple together and remember our own special day.
After the ceremony, Josh and I headed to Jay and Julie's where the reception was being held, and got to work getting food ready. Josh's mom made brownies by the zillion and we had the biggest baddest dessert bar ever. There was a chocolate fountain, brownies, cookies, cheescake, fruit, crackers, candy, snow cones, and ice cream. They had a very casual environment, no line, just a big beautiful party in a BEAUTIFUL yard. Unfortunately I was kinda busy throughout the day, so I have like zero pictures of anything, but I'll hopefully get some soon and post some of them. It really was fun.
After the reception ended, we cleaned up and went home to get a much needed good night's rest before going to work the next day.
When Josh and I decided to get married on a Thursday, we thought it was great because it meant we could take a long weekend and we wouldn't have to take as much time off work. It also worked best with his work schedule so we could be back at a reasonable time. HOWEVER, it never occurred to us how rude that was to everyone else! Until now. When the alarm went off on Friday morning, I thought I was going to die, the thought of going to work all day made me want to cry, I just wanted to lounge around and be a bum, but no such luck for me. I'm sure there are a million other things I do that are totally inconsiderate, but I just never realize what a pain I am to other people. So, take this as a blanket apology for all the things I've done that have been incredibly selfish and horrible throughout my life. If I knew how aweful I really was, I wouldn't have done it. :)
Either way, Misty and Ryan were beautiful and happy and are now sealed for time and all eternity, and I'm glad. I feel the formation of an in-laws club happening on Josh's side of the family now that I'm not the only one....
Misty is Josh's older sister, and we were so excited to be able to go to the temple with her to watch her be sealed to Ryan. We always love going to other people's wedding ceremonies to remember the things we should be doing and to be able to hear the advice given to others. What a great blessing it is for us to be able to go to the temple together and remember our own special day.
After the ceremony, Josh and I headed to Jay and Julie's where the reception was being held, and got to work getting food ready. Josh's mom made brownies by the zillion and we had the biggest baddest dessert bar ever. There was a chocolate fountain, brownies, cookies, cheescake, fruit, crackers, candy, snow cones, and ice cream. They had a very casual environment, no line, just a big beautiful party in a BEAUTIFUL yard. Unfortunately I was kinda busy throughout the day, so I have like zero pictures of anything, but I'll hopefully get some soon and post some of them. It really was fun.
After the reception ended, we cleaned up and went home to get a much needed good night's rest before going to work the next day.
When Josh and I decided to get married on a Thursday, we thought it was great because it meant we could take a long weekend and we wouldn't have to take as much time off work. It also worked best with his work schedule so we could be back at a reasonable time. HOWEVER, it never occurred to us how rude that was to everyone else! Until now. When the alarm went off on Friday morning, I thought I was going to die, the thought of going to work all day made me want to cry, I just wanted to lounge around and be a bum, but no such luck for me. I'm sure there are a million other things I do that are totally inconsiderate, but I just never realize what a pain I am to other people. So, take this as a blanket apology for all the things I've done that have been incredibly selfish and horrible throughout my life. If I knew how aweful I really was, I wouldn't have done it. :)
Either way, Misty and Ryan were beautiful and happy and are now sealed for time and all eternity, and I'm glad. I feel the formation of an in-laws club happening on Josh's side of the family now that I'm not the only one....
I'm brown.
I think as a general rule I communicate pretty well. Like when I say something to someone, they nod and look at me like they understood me. I speak English. I don't mumble. I listen well. But, for some reason, everytime there is a reason for family pictures in the Reilley family, I go get my hair done normal, and I wind up with a drastic change.
I was done with having blonde hair, so I asked the nice lady to dye it the same color as my natural hair. This is what I look like now.
Forgive the unflattering picture, it was taken in the car on our way out and about.....
I'm learning to like it, but when I first came home, it freaked me out. Fortunately Josh still loves me, and he even told me that he likes it better than he thought he would.
Anyway, sometime I would like to speak the apparently foreign language of "hair lady" so that I can properly communicate to these people what I really want. I'm tired of coming all freaked out and scared of what I look like. If anybody knows of a class I can take or something, I'm VERY interested!
Wii are cool like the rest of you now
OK I know it's a corny title, but deal with it. I haven't written in a week and have SO much to say!
Labor Day was kinda crazy for us, we worked and worked, and wandered in the rain/hail/snow, and got wedding stuff done. Do you ever have moments that you feel like a complete slacker? I sure do and this was one of them.
2 weeks before Labor Day Mom Reilley had asked me to pick 12 pictures from Misty's engagement shoot and get them developed for the 3.5x5 frames that were going to be the centerpieces to the tables. No big deal right? Well, I TOTALLY forgot about it until a week later. At that point, I picked 12, cropped them down to the right size and sent them to Mom for approval.
My amazing Mom was working the fair which means she didn't see e-mails and I spaced it yet again, until we were at her house on Friday night (we have no friends and we like our family, so we hang out with them on weekends). THEN I got her approval and planned to get the pictures developed. (2 weeks later! Ugh.) Only problem is that nobody devlops 3x5 prints from digital pictures. Seriously NOBODY. I could cry.
Labor Day came and while Josh and I were out Redboxing, we stopped by every store we could possibly think of that would develop them, and nobody did. We finally called Smith's Marketplace to see if they did it, and they did so we headed over there.
But, when we got there, the same punk kid who told me over the phone that they do it looked at me like I was stupid when I said "I need some 3x5 prints of pictures". Then he said "we don't do that for digital pictures. Only for film." So technically his answer was right, but I could've wringed his neck. Why couldn't he say that "yes. But only for film." Ew. Josh and I were so frustrated at our wasted time, that when we saw someone else checking out with a Wii in hand, we asked if they had any in stock. Shockingly, they did.
Like the terribly irresponsible people we are, we bought one. We had no good reason, we hadn't saved up, we didn't plan on it, we didn't budget for it, but in order to make the trip all the way to West Jordan Smith's worth it, we bought a Wii. Now we're cool like the rest of the world. Turns out it's pretty dang fun.
We're calling it our Labor Day present. Labor Day is now a gift holiday in our house, as if we needed one more! Geez!
Labor Day was kinda crazy for us, we worked and worked, and wandered in the rain/hail/snow, and got wedding stuff done. Do you ever have moments that you feel like a complete slacker? I sure do and this was one of them.
2 weeks before Labor Day Mom Reilley had asked me to pick 12 pictures from Misty's engagement shoot and get them developed for the 3.5x5 frames that were going to be the centerpieces to the tables. No big deal right? Well, I TOTALLY forgot about it until a week later. At that point, I picked 12, cropped them down to the right size and sent them to Mom for approval.
My amazing Mom was working the fair which means she didn't see e-mails and I spaced it yet again, until we were at her house on Friday night (we have no friends and we like our family, so we hang out with them on weekends). THEN I got her approval and planned to get the pictures developed. (2 weeks later! Ugh.) Only problem is that nobody devlops 3x5 prints from digital pictures. Seriously NOBODY. I could cry.
Labor Day came and while Josh and I were out Redboxing, we stopped by every store we could possibly think of that would develop them, and nobody did. We finally called Smith's Marketplace to see if they did it, and they did so we headed over there.
But, when we got there, the same punk kid who told me over the phone that they do it looked at me like I was stupid when I said "I need some 3x5 prints of pictures". Then he said "we don't do that for digital pictures. Only for film." So technically his answer was right, but I could've wringed his neck. Why couldn't he say that "yes. But only for film." Ew. Josh and I were so frustrated at our wasted time, that when we saw someone else checking out with a Wii in hand, we asked if they had any in stock. Shockingly, they did.
Like the terribly irresponsible people we are, we bought one. We had no good reason, we hadn't saved up, we didn't plan on it, we didn't budget for it, but in order to make the trip all the way to West Jordan Smith's worth it, we bought a Wii. Now we're cool like the rest of the world. Turns out it's pretty dang fun.
We're calling it our Labor Day present. Labor Day is now a gift holiday in our house, as if we needed one more! Geez!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)