Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Breakfast Victory!!!

When Josh and I got married, I found that I have a LOT of opinions that I didn't know I had. I think that things belong in certain places (i.e. the hamper goes on the left side of the closet and shoes on the right side. clothes should hang facing the middle of the closet with bottoms on one side and tops on the other. spare TP rolls should be kept IN the bathroom. cups go in the cupboard by the sink.) certain tools should be used for specific jobs (the hand towel should not be used to clean off the counter. washcloth in the shower is different from the dishcloth in the kitchen. paper scissors are different from kitchen scissors.) and meals should be handled the way I know they should (dinner consists of bread, veggies, AND meat. you can't have 2 casseroles in the same meal. after 7:00 it's midnight snacks, not dinner.) breakfast has been the meal with the biggest issues.

Josh is a breakfast person. I am not. He listens when people say that it's "the most important meal of the day" plus he likes it. I went for years without ever eating breakfast. In my house it's an event. Dad makes incredible weekend breakfasts, but it's not like a small meal, it's as big as Thanksgiving Dinner! Anyway, I never was in the habit of breakfast and Josh was. So, I started to learn about breakfast. I lost most fights about breakfast. I no longer measure my pancake mix. We eat 20 times more pancakes (his preference) than waffles (my preference). The fact that we even eat breakfast is a victory for him. Since he dominates the breakfast world, I get excited about little victories like the one yesterday.

A while ago I started having oatmeal for breakfast, because I wanted to, and now I like it. So, Josh is doing the same. I read the instructions on the box, and know that you are supposed to add the water to the oatmeal and microwave it for 1 minute. Josh thinks that you are just supposed to add hot tap water, stir and eat. He also thinks that you need two packets when you do it this way, because before your nuke it, there's less volume.

After observing this for a few days, I decided to gently approach the subject of how he was eating his oatmeal wrong. I'm not sure why I cared, but I really felt the need to correct him.
"Josh, I know I'm from the true family and I do everything right. So I'm now going to tell you how to eat oatmeal."
"Amy, I'm glad you think you're right, but I can eat oatmeal anyway I want."
"OK Start over." I said. "I've enjoyed eating my oatmeal cooked instead of raw for a few days now, and I believe that you might more thoroughly appreciate your oatmeal if you allowed me to cook it for you. Since I love you so much, will you try it?"
"Sure. I don't' care. It's just faster my way." He shrugs.
No wonder men get married. I thought.

The first day I put two packets in the bowl, and twice as much water as one packet uses. I put our little microwave coverer upper in over the bowl of oatmeal, set it for twice as long as one packet and walked away. If you've ever done this, you know what's coming next. Yes, the oatmeal exploded. And oozed. I wiped off the bowl and cleaned out the microwave and made Josh eat the soupy oatmeal anyway. He added a 3rd packet just to soak up the excess water.
"This is not a victory for you, my system just needs to be tweaked because I KNOW you will like your oatmeal better cooked." I reminded him.
"OK. I don't care, it's just faster my way." He shrugged again.
No wonder men get married. I thought.

Day 2 I read the instructions on the box for cooking 2 packets, you put 1.5 as much water and cook it for twice as long. I followed the instructions, set the microwave for 2 minutes and walked away to finish doing my hair. I returned to the microwave to find that it exploded. And oozed. I wiped off the bowl, cleaned out the microwave and made Josh eat it anyway.
"Still not a victory, I'm trying again tomorrow - I'm on the right track. And I KNOW you will like your oatmeal better cooked." I stated.
"OK. I don't care, it's just faster my way." He shrugged again.
No wonder men get married. I thought.

Day 3 I used 2 packets of oatmeal, a slightly larger bowl, 1.5 times the water, and twice the time on the microwave. I set it for 1 minute. Checked it, stirred it. Set it for 30 seconds. Checked it. Stirred it. Set it for 30 seconds and took it out. PERFECT oatmeal. Josh poured milk over it and as he took a bite, I know he was thinking This is the best oatmeal I've ever eaten. No wonder I got married!


  1. That is SO funny! I can't get enough of the way Amy's tells her stories. You are SO funny!! Can I be like you when I grow up?

  2. Ok, that has to be the funniest thing that I have read all day. My husband always eats his oatmeal raw too, and I have not been able to convince him of how much better it is cooked!


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