The first interview for the 2nd job.

This whole situation has been SO weird, and I'm NOT loving it. But, that's OK, life happens.

Today I went in for my first interview for this job in central HR for the church. To be honest I wasn't that excited/nervous about it, in fact I wasn't really feeling anything for it. I was just going to go because they called me, and I figured I had nothing to lose.

I first met with a very nice girl named Katy. She is the one who used to be in the position they are now hiring for, and she moved to a new position. She told me about the 3 guys I'd be working with, they all seem great. She told me about the job, it's busy and fast paced. There's always plenty to do. She also went to the business college and we talked a bit about that. She put me at ease immediately and I loved talking with her. In this position I think I'd still be working a lot with her. She was great, I felt like we were a lot alike, and when she talked about the people she used to work for, it sounded perfect for me. They loved her because she was quick and dedicated. I really felt like it was the perfect position for me. A lot of things I'd be very interested in. She was very nice a friendly and I was feeling great.

Then I met with some other guy whose name I can't even remember. He asked me a couple of questions, then asked "what are your career goals?"
"I don't know." slipped out before I even had a chance to think about it. He immediately made a note that I have no goals and waited for me as I tried to recover. I don't know what I said, but it wasn't good. That threw off the whole interview for me. I knew he thought I was useless and wasn't going anywhere in life. He asked about my work experience, what I was looking for, etc etc etc. Then after he was through, he went back to this career thing.
"I ask about careers because we really don't expect someone in this position to stay in it forever. We want them to want to become more than a secretary, we expect them to better themselves and continue to grow."
"I agree" I said lamely. Clearly I did not agree because I have no goals. What kind of person says that in an interview? Ew, I'm disappointed in myself and I feel stupid. But, oh well. Just a waste of a lunch break.

I cried on the way back to the car. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. I cried on my way back to work, and tried to make myself look human enough to come back to my desk and do my job. I ate some chocolate and tried not to cry at work. I just feel so stupid. I wasn't even that excited about this job, but after the first part of my interview I felt so great and so excited about the position that the second half was a slap in the face.

I've decided that I'm done being rejected for now. No more applications, no more interviews, no more sneaking out of my office to look for other jobs. I'm just going to have to learn to be happy where I am. Sigh.