Moments

Because my life is crazy and hectic and so very full of failures, not-good-enoughs and "why isn't this working?!?!"s, I feel confident that when I post the sweetest, sappiest, most adorably perfect moments here, nobody (myself, my posterity, and my fan club - hi mom!) will think this is normal.

On Friday night Josh and I should've gone out on a date, but he got struck with the plague (and we had no plans, but the plague is a less commonly used excuse and a good one - I'd hate to waste it by taking the fall with my "no plans" excuse which is the one we use every other day), so I asked Tommy if he'd like to join me at the grocery store and maybe a date after. He jumped at the chance because it would delay bedtime and he has decided that he would balance out the first 3 years of his 6:30 bedtime with a 10:30 bedtime so that we could pretend his had a normal 8:30 bedtime.

So we went to the store. While we were there I asked him if he was having fun on our "date". He rolled his eyes and said "mo-om, THIS (gesturing the store) is not a date, this is just boring old groceries." Right-o.

We opted for ice cream afterward, and due to the great E.Coli poisoning of Lindon city water it took 3 stops before we landed at the local frozen yogurt bar.

He was the perfect gentlemen - he even opened my door and held my hand.
He was loads of fun - making goofy faces and showing me how to put the gummy worm from his ice cream over my teeth so I could match his smile.
And in the end I got a kiss.
He's totally my type.

At the end of this perfect date as I boosted him up into his carseat he kissed my cheek and sweetly said, "mommy, my heart is tellin' me I love you." and I melted into a puddle right there on the sidewalk.
I managed to tell him that my heart was telling me I love him too through my happy-mom-tears.
Then he smiled even bigger as he made the connection. "I guess our hearts just love each other huh?"

I guess they do.

And I hope we never forget that.

When I Grow Up

The other day we drove past some road construction and Tommy was fascinated by the giant hole the construction workers were digging in the middle of the road.

T: "What are they doin' mom?"
M: "Digging a hole."
T: "why?" (I equal parts hate and love the why phase.)
M: "because it's their job."
T: "to earn all the money money?"
M: "yep."
T: "why's it's their job mom?"
M: "because it's what they chose to do when they grew up."
T: "what I'm gonna be when I get a grown up?"
M: "You can be anything you want when you grow up. You get to choose."
.....thinking.......
M: "What do you think you'll want to be when you grow up?"
T: "A HOLE digger.
.....
or an ice cream guy!
.......
or a drive-er! Mom! I could DRIVE when I grown up!"

This child has high hopes - and who am I to shatter that kind of dream?

Salamander Flats

One of the best parts of being a nurse is the totally awesome schedule. Josh works Monday, Wednesday & every other weekend (Saturday/Sunday).

The worst part of my job (and maybe the ONLY negative) is that I work every day. Monday - Friday. It's only in the afternoon, but it sortof steals the awesomeness that comes with Josh's job.

But he refuses to let the awesomeness go to waste. Yay Josh.

We were planning to head up the canyon on Thursday night right after work, but we sortof forgot about the preparation part of going so by the time we were ready to go Thursday, we were slammed with that crazy wind storm and decided we may as well get a good night's sleep before heading up first thing Friday morning.

We drove up the canyon thinking it would be easy to find a spot (ba ha ha ha! - that was dumb.) so after driving up and down and in and out of anything that looked like a camp site we finally landed at Salamander Flats and rushed to set up camp so I could get back to work.

I left Josh with a set-up tent, 2 hungry boys (John starting to run a fever and hacking up a lung), and boxes full of gear.

I had stashed my wardrobe change in my car so that I could change before heading up the canyon, but I was in such a hurry to get up there, I mostly changed at red lights (and one pull over) on my way.

 

I believe in camp hair, so the do-rag is always the first part of getting ready. Dumb I know - but I don't do hair hair while camping.

I never really know what happens while I'm gone, but when I came back they had eaten all of the snack-food, almost none of the meal-food and they were all happy, hungry & filthy. So I call it success.

We made toastite pizzas for dinner (easy because I knew Josh wouldn't want to try making something time consuming while keeping the boys out of the fire).

Toasttites on the fire.

Pizza ingredients.

After dinner we headed out for a short hike. And by short I mean a couple miles. And by hike I mean walk down the curving canyon road. Because that was the only way I knew how to get to the water. We took a trail on the way back, which was much more enjoyable.

Josh had taken the boys on 3 short walks (but we were in the mountains, so hikes right? Full credit there.) earlier in the day, but they had failed to find a water source and we all knew we'd die if we didn't find a river or stream or SOMEthing in which to throw rocks, pinecones and people.

John rode on my shoulders, Tommy and Josh walked ahead of me and we found the water.

Of course we were enormously thrilled with ourselves. Though the young couple having an intimate moment across the stream were probably embarrassed to find our young family invading their space.

During our walk back we found a trail that was beautifully shaded and had extraordinary views of the mountains all around us.

John says  "booya!" 

 When we got back to camp the boys were happy to sit and watch the fire while we waited for the sun to go down so we could get out the glow-sticks grandma gave them for Easter.

It was glow-stick mania in our tent. And everyone was happy - for almost 10 minutes.

Now, you know I love camping. really. Honestly. And there's nothing like waking up with the cool crisp air and the sounds of nature all around. But the reason that sunrise at 6am is such a beautiful thing is that the night is so so long.

There are a lot of skills that you learn when you camp a lot. How to cook over a fire, ignore the filth, pee in the wilderness....the list goes on. I have learned most of these skills, but the one I've never quite mastered is sleeping.

I used to get cold, so I got a mummy bag.
Then I got claustrophobic, so I got a two-man bag to share with the human space heater I married.
Then we had kids, and cold and cramped were the least of my sleep problems.

Now that Tommy is old enough to sleep in his own bag (all night long without moving at all !!!!) John has taken over the feet-in-face, tossing-and-turning, whinging-and-crying, whimpering-and-coughing position in our family.

And that is why sunrise when you're camping is so so beautiful.

I also love waking up with my boys. They are beautiful in the morning, but I am rarely in a position to capture that beauty. While we're all on the floor snuggling (and rolling around looking for marshmallows to eat) I am glad I get to soak in their goodness.

After breakfast we packed up and headed home so we'd have time to clean up, water the yard, and do all of the regular Saturday stuff.

Camping is one of those things that always makes our little family love each other more. Here's hoping there's lots of it this summer.

Cleaning

There are a few reasons that weekly cleaning is no longer optional in my life.

• We live in a big old house now. It started dirty and it has stayed dirty. Even the new parts are dirty. New houses must be sealed better. Big houses are more likely (in my world) to stay dirty. Because I can close the door and go somewhere else and pretend it isn't that bad. Reminder to me. It is. It is that bad. 
• We have a yard now. Yards come with dirt. And grass. And bees. And weeds. And ants. And other general filth. Don't get me wrong, I never want to be yardless again. But seriously - filth.
• Tommy no longer wears diapers. Let me be clear. The term "toilet trained" is a lie. A big. fat. ugly. LIE. Kids go from "in diapers" to "not in diapers" - apparently "toilet training" is something that doesn't happen until much later in life and here's why:
  3 year old boys are capable of aiming. They are also capable of focusing (on bugs and boogers and explosions). But they are not capable of doing both at the same time consistently. That's why there is pee everywhere in that bathroom EXCEPT the toilet. He is capable of aiming "that peein' thing" but now when he's busy looking around at all of the interesting things in the bathroom. And as it turns out "that peein' thing" follows his gaze.
• I got a job. Something happens when I leave this house. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but the effects often look like a bomb. A "daddy was snoozing" bomb. In his defense, he only closes his eyes for like 5 minutes.....and I would too.

And that's why at 9pm I haven't showered, my feet still look like I just went for a hike in flip flops (because I did....12 hours ago) and the house is finally beginning to smell like pinesol. I think...have I mentioned that Josh and I are allergic to this place? No matter. It's probably better that way given the pee smell.....

Independence

These boys.

 

There just aren't words - and any mom of any child in any place or time will say the same.

Lately they've both been making sure I know that they don't need me which both breaks my heart and makes me unreasonably proud.

John runs around all day like he's the king of the world. He gets his own snacks and puts on his shoes and points to his belly button on command.

Tommy climbs into John's crib, pushes chairs and stool around to get the things that are "way too high so I can't reach them mom" and screams when we try to help him with something he can do by himself (including attempting to feed my sister's fish a fruit snack).

I realize these milestones are old news and maybe it's just a recent surge of sentimentality, but my babies aren't babies and they are so dang much fun that I can hardly stand it. I really love sleeping through the night (sometimes) and I'm looking forward to a world without sippie cups. I love that everybody who is coming to the store with me can walk on their own two legs. My babies are beautiful capable man children and I love them.

See Me Run = Fail

May was all about running. Well....not ALL about running - but running 3x's/week.

I ran a lot (more) in May, but not every week. Some weeks I ran 5 times and other weeks I ran just once. I thought I'd get a schedule and routine happening and be super good at it, but mostly I just remembered how much I hate to run.

I'd run and then reward myself with yoga (outdoor yoga? yes please!).
I'd run and then reward myself with weeding.
I'd run and then reward myself with sitting around.
Or (more often) I'd yoga and then try to force myself to run cursing my stupid goal-making self every step of the way.

So here's what I learned.

I do like yoga.
I do like swimming.
I do like biking (within reason).
I do like sweating, weeding, working hard, and even just walking.
I do really like to be outside.

I do not (currently) like running.

So...there's that.