Balance

It's no secret that balance is not my forte. I can be really good at something, but I almost always let other things fall to make that happen.

That's one reason I'm terrified to go back to work next week.

Josh's job is great, but they are struggling to keep enough patients and his hours are being cut on a regular basis. He's trying to find more work, but hasn't had any luck just yet. So, on a whim late one night last week I applied for a few office jobs.

The next morning I got a call for an interview.

I interviewed the next day, then waited anxiously for an update.

Gary e-mailed me on Saturday offering me the job. I was out of town and couldn't respond. Then he called on Monday while I was on my way back home to make sure I wanted it.

So next week I'll be going back to work part time. Often Josh will be able to stay with our boys. But on the days he's at work, I'll be taking them to my sister's house.

Katy is awesome, and I've spent most of my life wishing I were more like her. My boys love her and I know they'll be happy there, but I am totally heartbroken not to be home full time with my boys.

I think of the things I'll miss.
Funny things they say
Playing with towers and blocks
Adventures and play dates with friends
Making dinner together
Running errands
Playing in the park

Bottom line: It puts a strain on my time, and I'm afraid I won't be able to do all the things I currently enjoy. I will only be working in the afternoons, so on a day-to-day basis it really won't be that bad. But I am terrified  anyway.

So, here's hoping the new job is fantastic and that I somehow learn to balance work and motherhood and everything else that is important to me.