The Dyson

We bought a Dyson. The cool orange one with the ball. Yes, that one. It's because *shrugs* "we're cool".

See? Cool.

If you aren't interested in reading a review of a vacuum cleaner which somebody purchased with her own hard-earned cash recently returned to her by the putrid feds....go ahead and stop here. Cuz that's all this is.

The pro-cons:

• It's light. This is great for hauling it around the house, or say....taking it backpacking. But sometimes it flies over the carpet so fast that I can't FEEL the suction. I think there might be something wrong with me because I think if it isn't hard, it doesn't count. So....if a woman pushes a vacuum and doesn't break a sweat to do it, is her carpet still clean? Debatable. 
• The uber-long hose. I think the thing measures something like 10,000 feet, so if you wanna vacuum the top of Mt. Everest without climbing it, that's great. But if you wanna vacuum the inside of your car or the window-tracks, you have to maneuver the 3 foot hard part of the hose (which is mandatory) to do it. I'm confident this is because Dyson also sells a car-cleaner-outer vacuum, but I don't wanna buy that tiny little tool since I just bought the mother-of-all vacuums. So....everest.....car..... (I'm doing the justice-scale-weighing thing with my hands, can you tell?)
• It sucks EVERYTHING. The 5-year-old $50 walmart vacuum was the great anti-suck. It taught me how to vacuum a different way. i.e. you can vacuum near something without sucking it up. That pencil on the floor? No need to pick it up, I'll just vacuum near it instead of placing the suck-hole directly over it. The bobby pins which have congregated on the seats of my car? No problem, lightly graze over them and they'll still be there when I'm through. Now that I'm using a vacuum which actually sucks with power, everything within a 3 foot radius of the suck-hole gets sucked. Pens and pencils, legos, small children, apparently you can't vacuum near anything with a Dyson. 
• The ball. I won't lie, this was a big reason for the purchase. Not only does it look cool, but I like the idea of being able to turn quickly (probably because I spent so much time vacuuming near things) without moving heaven and earth to do it. However, the instability of the ball means no neat straight vacuum lines for me. I can't walk straight and I certainly can't vacuum straight, nobody turn me in for drunk-vacuuming OK? Also, this makes me lazy, because I really can vacuum around ANYTHING. If I can get away with calling it "furniture" I don't have to move it. Laundry hampers, speakers, and tiny chairs are suddenly immobile in my life. Until Tommy drags them to another part of the house. Anyway....

So there you have it. I love the Dyson. With all my heart. And this comes from a non-vacuumer. But it's an adjustment, as most good things are.