Traditions

Growing up I always knew what to expect on Thanksgiving weekend.

Wednesday night we'd leave "when dad gets home from work" and drive to Logan. We'd pull in the driveway at Grandpa's house and he'd be watching Lawrence Welk, or the news, and we'd all come in a drop our stuff. The old ones would sit and talk and we'd go look for the fun games (I think booby trap and checkers were the only games he owned). Dad would make us a bed out of blankets on the floor downstairs and we'd all sleep in the same room.  I think this changed the older we got. The "little kids" slept in the blanket bed on the floor and the "big kids" slept on the couch and the floor upstairs.

Thanksgiving morning we headed to the church where dad set up tables and chairs and mom went straight to work in the kitchen (after hauling in the pies). The rest of us did typical "kids in a church" stuff. Basketball, tag, hide & seek.

Friday on our way home we'd pick out a Christmas Tree from the tree store in American Fork and head home to put it up. We'd listen to Manheim and decorate like nobody's business. Dad did the lights, and we all put our homemade ornaments on the tree and watched the bubble lights boil.

I like these memories. I like that on the way home from Logan if mom & dad were thinking of not getting a tree right that second we could all whine "but we always get the tree now!" and they'd have to give in. Because....you know...tradition!

Josh's family's Thanksgiving weekend is not the same but is every single bit as predictable. While in turkey-coma with muddy buddies still ready for snacking, mom brings out the ads. Misty and Mom are die hard Black Friday shoppers. I mean it. Die. Hard. Not just the "camp out in the freezing cold all night for that 1 really great deal" die hard either. We're talking about the marathon kind of die hard. The "pack your bags cuz we aren't coming home until everybody we know has a $100 gift that we found for $2." kind of die hard. The "4am - 9pm no break for lunch" die hard. The "route the map the night before" kind of die hard.

Josh & I are not big on shopping, but somehow after paroozing the ads with Mom & Misty we had to go out the first year we were married. When you get married they should warn you that all the things you do during the first year are considered "traditions" and become mandatory for the rest of eternity. We were not die hard. Not in any sense of the term. We went out together, got some great deals on stuff and went home because we were bored of shopping. We did not wake up any earlier than we wanted to, we did not wait in line outside of any store. We did not get all of our shopping in one day.

The next year we actually stood in a line outside Circuit City because they had cheap movies. We wasted all kinds of time and I swore I'd never shop Black Friday again.

Last year I "casually glanced through the ads" and found some boots I just had to have. And I got them. And I love them. And I've never been so proud of a shoe purchase in my life. And Black Friday was wildly successful.

We've sortof combined our Thanksgiving Weekends and created a very casual, mellow, enjoyable holiday weekend. We shop and get great deals reassuring each other the whole way ("totally worth it", "I'm so glad we got that", "we just saved a ton of money!") because we both think it's a sin to spend that much money in 1 day. I can't do Black Friday shopping without him for this reason. Nobody else has the authority to tell me it was OK to spend that money, and those are word I need to hear. We wind up doing a little Redboxing, but it's not so bad because we're together and the "working breaks" are relatively short in comparison with the time we spend chillin in the car and shopping. Then we come home, put up the tree, watch a Christmas movie, listen to Christmas tunes and enjoy a cup of something warm and bask in the glow (and warmth) of the tree lights.

This year I think we have to start all new traditions because life isn't the same with a little one.

We shopped - a little. No great finds. Just some mediocre stuff. Partly because we're trying hard not to spend money....partly because the deals just didn't seem that fantastic this year.

We Redboxed - a little. It was nice to get out of the inversion and breathe real air.

I had every intention of getting Christmas put up, but somehow it didn't happen. Something about not being able to stay up until midnight if my life depended on it.....

I swore I'd do it today. Josh even brought the Christmas tree up from the garage. It's still sitting in the box in the middle of my living room floor - along with the 2 other boxes of Christmas decorations that have been out since Monday.

It seems that due to the adorable child in our midst who takes up 100% of our attention 95% of the time, we're gonna have to let parts of our "relaxed mellow enjoyable holiday weekend" go.

Unfortunately it can't be Redbox.

So beginning next year, we EITHER shop or decorate. Our carefree years of 19 hour days and doing everything we feel like are over.

It's time to start some very specific (and limited) traditions.

In the meantime, who the heck is gonna put up my tree?

Projectile binkie

You know when you pinch a watermelon seed between your fingers and the pressure combined with the slipperiness makes the seed shoot across the room?

Same concept applies to binkies.

One thing I love about Heber

Camping gear is ALWAYS in the "seasonal" aisle at the grocery store.

Right across from the Christmas trees and the thermometers currently reading 21 degrees we have fishing poles, water filters, and tents.

Things I've never been grateful for

This year I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things I'd never really been thankful for before.

So this year's gratitude list is not the things I'm most thankful for, or the profound stuff, it's the new stuff.

Bathrobes to keep me warm in the middle of the night.
That the alarm clock has an "off" switch. I've never used it until now.
Thomas. Tommy. Tom. Little One. Babe. Sweetheart. Handsome. My little man. Sweets.
My body. I've never been a big fan until now.
Living in baby central.
Hand sanitizer.
Formula. Even though it stinks and is sticky.
Josh's natural fathering abilities. This might be cheating because I've always loved that about Josh, but I never really knew just how good a dad he was until now. So it's expanded....that counts as "new" right?
3 sets of grandparents for my little one.
Visiting teachers. (Hi Nikki! Invite me to your blog, OK?)
HGTV.
Dr. Man, Hospitals, modern medicine.
Nutrimirror.
The ability to broadcast my baby's screams through the whole house. (aka baby monitors)
That little button that releases the straps in the carseat.
Tennis shoes.

I worry

Wanna know what kinds of things this crazy mom worries about?

An upcoming trip to the dentist. Josh will be working so I'll take Thomas with me. What if he doesn't sleep through it? What if he wakes up and starts to be fussy? What if he cries while my mouth is full of fingers? What if I bite the fingers off and jump up from the chair and dash to my child's carrier to rescue him? Will they charge me for their hospital bills? What if he cries and I don't have the guts to bite the fingers and instead I try to talk and it comes out like everything I say with a mouthful of fingers "ah ay ae ih cah eeh" (my baby is crying)? And what if because I'm such a gutless pansy I don't get to rescue him? What if either of those embarrassing things happens and Lisa (the lady who works on my teeth, and also my Aunt) tells the whole family and we are the joke at every household dinner for eternity?

Talking about the upcoming blessing with Josh (back when it was "upcoming" instead of "recent") I asked him all the details of how the circle works. How do you hold the baby? Do you just have to hold him straight out with both hands - you'll use both hands right? I mean you're not just gonna try to palm him and count on the other guys to support the rest of him, right? They don't make you put your hand on someone else's shoulder do they? Promise me you'll use both hands! (He didn't promise. Rude.) Well when you hold something straight out like that your arms are going to get tired - what if you JUST started, but your arms are too tired to hold him, do you just quit? "The name you'll be known by....will be Thomas -" ugh. You're heavy, I'm putting you down. What if my baby never got the rest of his name because he's so heavy and too hard to hold straight out like that? Josh wasn't worried at all about either of those things. Weird huh?

I'd like to think the baby brings out the psycho-worrier in me, but probably I've always been this crazy and now I just have something small that brings new topics to worry about.

Josh & Am Aren't Lame.

I wish we were a reality tv show...only the title of the show would need some help, "lame" and "Am" were the best rhyme I could think of....it's late....or it's 9pm and I just think it's late. Whatever.

If we were a reality tv show, I wouldn't have had to take 62 pictures to get this one.

And you would already know how blue his eyes are and not have to rely on this photo to prove it.

And all of the sweet moments of my life would be well documented.
I'd have video of our family nap on Sunday. Because who doesn't want to watch video of a nap?
I'd have evidence that Josh makes me laugh every single day.
I could show off that I've made my meal plan for the month of December and it's only the 23rd of November.
People would be impressed when I do things like....grocery shopping.
I'd never think "oh dang! I forgot my camera!" or "hold that face for just 2 more seconds little one." or "stupid flash." because the professionals would be in charge of all photo ops.
And maybe you'd be able to see the 3 LOOONG hairs sticking out of the top of my baby's head in this picture.

Of course then you'd also know that I cried for 10 minutes this morning because I dreamed that Josh cheated on me with the slutty mom from Mean Girls....and that we're eating our dinner in 3 phases tonight because I couldn't manage getting it all done at once.....and that phase 3 will be out of the oven in 9 more minutes.....I can't make this stuff up.

G-thug

In the hospital Josh started calling him "my little thug" because he was wearing a beanie.

And everybody knows beanie = thug.

Cuz how much more hardcore can you get? Really?

Blessing Day

Today Josh blessed Thomas.

Thomas was as beautiful as ever. Sporting booties made by Anonymous and wrapped in a blanket made by Karleen - one of my favorite people in the world.

During the photo shoot he got all serious and thoughtful.

Meanwhile I was just plain happy.

Because this good lookin' family is mine. All mine. For eternity. And that is a blessing that I'll never be able to express my gratitude for.

New loves

Da Babe is starting to love things he's never cared about before.

Like me. I was doing the "getting into the car shuffle" (Did you know that I can't go anywhere without making about 3 trips out to the car? Re-freakin'-diculous!) and as I pulled the car out while the babe was in the carseat just inside I swear he pouted and whimpered because he thought I was leaving without him. I wasn't. I just had to pull the car out so I could close the garage door and run and jump over the sensor while carrying the baby in the carseat. You wish you were my neighbor so you could watch this, don't you? It could be a coincidence that he started crying right then, but I prefer to think he loves me.

Waking up slowly. Gone are the days of waking up from a dead sleep screaming bloody murder. Now he eases into it slowly and gently and is even content for quite some time. If he can keep this up, the 2 of us will get along swimmingly.

Sleeping. We're trying really hard to teach him how to sleep and the past 2 nights he's had at least one 5-hour stretch and has slept for close to 13 hours at night. A very welcome miracle.

Being held like a big baby. Grandma Egbert came to visit last Sunday and held him over her shoulder like this

and he promptly fell asleep and stayed just like that for hours.

Ever since then he hates to be held "like a baby" and much prefers this new version of grown up baby holding.

Tummy time. Maybe "loves it" is too strong - but he doesn't cry. So I'm gonna take it.

Moving. He's never been fond of the "set down a blanket on the floor and leave me there" approach to mothering. But suddenly he's taken a liking to the ability to lay down and stretch out. I guess there's something appealing about the freedom that comes with not being held tight to somebody's body.

The car seat. So far this is the only sure-fire way to make him fall asleep. He gets buckled in and once we're moving (in the stroller or the car) he falls asleep and stays that way until we remove him. That's why he was still in the carseat 2 hours after we got home from the grocery store.

I'm still a 14 year old girl.....and so is Josh

Friday nights aren't quite the same as they used to be.

Our carefree, hop in the car at a moment's notice, fly by the seat of our pants, hanging out with friends, playing games with 10 million pieces that take an hour of undivided attention, go for a midnight hike in November, days are over.

Instead we spent out evening watching Mean Girls because it was on TV (let's hear it for free movies!) and we are both far too lazy to go in search of something farther away than the remote.

Here's the best part - Josh thought the movie was hillarious.

I offered to change it to something else that he'd like more and he just shrugged and said "it's fine if you leave it...whatever." Which we all know is the man-equivalent of "noooo!!!!! I really wanna see what happens! Don't change it, please please please!!"

The way I know he really liked it is that he watched it THROUGH all the commercials. I know. Amazing, right? He wouldn't watch 007 through all the commercials, but Mean Girls?...sign us up!

Of course I enjoyed it too, because I (not so) secretly love 14 year old girl movies. I never grew out of that and I probably never will. Turns out Josh is just growing into it.

To think...I used to just sleep at night

As much as I miss my whole night's sleep....I kindof wonder how a person can do nothing but sleep all night long.

So far tonight I've caught up on The Biggest Loser and The Office (thank you hulu).

I've read A LOT of blogs.

I've fed the babe.

I've rocked the babe.

I've changed the babe.

And I've read some of the sleep book in preparation for actually being allowed to use it.

And it's only 4:30am. I still have 30 minutes before my night is over!

Imagine if I were actually productive during this time - laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, working.....I could take guilt-free naps ALL DAY LONG!

My ward rocks: Parts 456 - 458

Monday morning I went to Mommy and Me Music at my ward's playgroup.

Partly because I'm insane.

Partly because I wanted to prevent myself from being MORE insane.

Partly because I like music.

Partly because I could use a destination for our morning walk.

Mostly because I wanna be in the "cool mommies" club in my ward. If you were ever going to try to get into a club, this is the one I'd suggest. It's better than the one that gets you into Disneyland for free on your birthday. And right up there with Costco.

Thomas slept through the whole thing, I sat on the floor and sang the songs and did the actions anyway. We're definitely going again.

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Tuesday we had a "mingle" activity for not-enrichment.

I went 100% because I felt like it.

I haven't laughed that hard with people that aren't my family since the night Jamie, Chelsea and I got drunk on chocolate milk and put on goofy hats.

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Tonight my visiting teachers came.

I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've been visit-taught in my whole life. That's why I'm still scared of  calling back and saying "yes! please come over and entertain and uplift me!"

Maybe it's because I talk too much and keep them here for 45 minutes.

Who cares, it was a fantastic 45 minutes getting to know these people better and talking about the gospel. I hope they come next month too.

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There's no way we can stay away from church until spring. No possible way.

The bottom dropped out

I heart winter.

I love the snow, the cold, the seeing of the breath, the first snowball, the hot drinks, the fireplaces, the holidays, the lights, the sun going down at 6, the whole thing. I love it all.

But it was really nice to wear clothes like this

and see skies like this

and hang out outdoor pools like this

for a week before driving into this

Friday we left Mesa at 85 degrees and pulled into Fillmore at 23 degrees just 10 hours later.

One things I love about this picture

One thing I love about this picture is that Thomas's pants come up to his armpits and his toes only hit the knees of the britches. But you can't tell so much here.....right?

Bitter disappointment

You know how you go to church and look at all the perfect families and the beautiful mothers with their lipstick and their matching clothes and think "they only do this once a week. It's just because it's Sunday and the other 6 days per week are spent in sweat pants and oversized t-shirts with their mouths full of bonbons."

I'm here to ruin that dream for you. It's not true. 

Those people do it on Sunday, and then the next day they wake up, get their kids dressed up all preppy and cute and have them out the door and at a Ward Playgroup at 10am on Monday.

Sucks huh?

I'm still clinging to the other 5 days a week.

Early to bed and early to rise

Last night Thomas went to bed at 7:30. Josh and I went to bed as soon as possible after that. I don't want any lip from you - it was already dark outside.

I woke up this morning with Thomas at 4. Little did I know he was finished sleeping for the day. 

I tried to get him back to sleep until about 5:30.  

Josh and I have a deal. Pre-5am is still "the middle of the night" and therefore my responsibility. Post-5am is "the wee hours of the morning" and therefore Josh's responsibility. 

So at 5:30 I put him down in his crib, ran across the house so I could jump in bed and pretend I was asleep before Thomas started crying, therefore making it Josh's job to get up with him.

Fortunately Josh was still sleeping, so I didn't have to be very convincing in my fake sleep. A simple "Josh, it's after 5, he's yours" accompanied with the screaming that we love to broadcast through the house with a monitor was all he needed and he was up with the babe. 

I snuggled down into bed to get warm and went back to bed until 8.

I suppose 7:30 to 4am is a good night's sleep. But there's just something inherently wrong with getting up at 4am and not going back to sleep. I refuse to do it.

Friday the 13th.....or why I hate Risk

I went to geek school starting in 5th grade. The program was called A.L.L. and I don't remember what it stood for. Something about Learning.

A lot of people (the cool kids) made fun of us (the geeks) and they called us the "All Lindon Losers". 11 year olds are very creative when they need to be.

But mostly I didn't care because I made some awesome friends from that class. And we (the geeks) all liked us.

Annette, Joanna, and I were totally inseperable. We played together at recess, worked on group projects together, and Annette was my companion for my very first "just drop us off at the mall and pick us up in a few hours" trip. I heard that they had cameras behind the mirrors in clothing store dressing rooms, so I made sure to turn backwards when I was changing so nobody could see my nakeds.

One of our favorite traditions was a sleepover on Friday the 13th. We always got together for the 13th. We watched movies, played games, ate pizza and did normal sleepover stuff.

But the night I remember best is the night we played Risk. Rather they played Risk and I watched....because I'm such a loser.

I had never played before (which was unheard of in a geek class full of 11 year olds who cared about politics and were into strategy-take-over-the-world games) so they kindly agreed to teach me.

I remember struggling to figure out why it mattered if you rolled the red dice or the white ones. I remember not knowing where to invade first and trying to kill off my friends with one little man when they had a whole cannon in their country. I couldn't figure out where all of the countries were (Geography still isn't my strength.) and I couldn't see how they could go clear across the board in one turn. The worst was that I had to decide when I was done with my turn. How was I supposed to know whether I should stop or keep going?

With their careful advice and my uncanny ability to roll 19 1's in a row, I was out after the first hour of the game. The two of them continued to play....for 5 more hours.

I'm sure I was a very gracious loser and didn't pout at all. But I've been pouting ever since. Josh constantly tries to get me to play, I constantly refuse. Maybe that's why we have so many games - so I can distract him from Risk. And that weekend is why I hate Risk.

On the flip side I love Friday the 13th. It's not a real Holiday and it hapens all the time so nobody does anything big, but somehow I was ALWAYS allowed my traditional sleepover "because it's tradition!"

We haven't celebrated Friday the 13th together in years....but I still always think about Annette and Joanna when it comes around.

The man I didn't marry

Tonight we're staying in Fillmore. Which reminds me....


Josh isn't the only boy who proposed to me.

Quinn proposed to me once. At my Grandpa's house. We were taking a walk from the clubhouse in the backyard toward the trampoline where we'd meet up with the rest of our friends. Somewhere near the woodpile he told me he thought it would be really cool if we got married and asked if I'd marry him please.

I think I blushed. And told him yes.

That didn't really pan out for us though. We wanted different things in life. (He wanted to marry me so he could be brothers with his best friend - my little brother. I wanted to marry him because I'd get to wear a big white dress and look like Cinderella.) We changed a lot. We grew up. (He was 7, I was 10.) He moved away and I haven't seen him since.

His mom and dad made him move to Fillmore with his 4 little sisters. By the time he moved we had drifted apart. He and Nate were still best friends (right Nate?) but Quinn fell out of love with me within a week. I think 7-year-olds are fickle and unprepared to make lifetime commitments. Rude. I wondered for a long time if we were really going to get married when we grew up. I don't wonder anymore.

So while I sit in this hotel room in a town with a population of 12 - or something close to that - I can't help but wonder where he is tonight. And what he's doing with his life. And if he even still lives in Fillmore, or if he's proposed to some other girl and has married and moved on with his life. Maybe his mom is still here....

Mom Olympics

Kristina can change the sheets while her twins are jumping on the bed. I can't change my sheets because I'm still in bed.

Nancy can type one-handed....sort of. Something I'm still working on but find completely infuriating because it's so. dang. slow. Plus there's that whole "shift key" thing.

Wendy makes two-day treats. Without neglecting her child. I can't make easymac without neglecting my child. Seriously.

Katy does man jobs. Willingly. No comment.

I can read a book with my eyes closed. At 2am. Actually the only evidence of this would be the "teach your child to sleep" book I borrowed from my mom....judging by the fact that I'm up and "reading" at 2am maybe this isn't really true.....

It seems that motherhood comes with a very unique skill set. So why don't we get our own Olympics?

I bet I could get a gold medal in one-handed bottle making while bouncing a screaming child, holding a binkie in his wide open mouth - (wait. Why do I do that? I just  realized that he's screaming anyway....I could let him scream on the floor and use 2 hands....do other moms know about this??? Must share this mothering tip as a Christmas gift.) and bossing his dad around.

What would your gold medal be for?

Caption Contest

When you take 200 pictures in one day, every once in a while you catch a really great face just crying out for a really funny caption.

So we have a contest on our hands. You all try to come up with a great caption for this photo, and later I'll tell you all what actually triggered this face. We'll all get a good laugh, I promise.

Mesa temple

For yesterday's field trip we went to the Mesa temple grounds and Visitor's Center.

Temples with cactus gardens are cool. Way cool.

We're not sure what this is, but Josh saw a door and of course had to walk through it...just to check.

I love family outings like this.

Thomas: 1 Month

Yesterday Thomas turned 1 month old.

Now that he's all old and mature he doesn't like me blogging about his eating/pooping habits anymore. Kids these days...fortunately sleeping snot sucking are still fair game.

Now that I'm all experienced and wise in the world of mothering I do things like pick up the binkie off the floor, blow it off and put it back in his mouth.

At 1 month, Thomas:
Focuses on my hands.
Naps for 4 hours at a time...just not at night.
Kicks his legs HARD, especially when getting his diaper changed.
Smiles.
Grabs anything near his chest. Fingers, bottles, hands, pacifiers, blankets.....the list goes on.
Has almost outgrown his newborn onesies.
He's still sporting the bishopric hair. And he has the ability to sleep sitting up. All he needs is a tie and a sustaining vote.
Is madly in love with mommy and daddy. Daddy because he holds him over his forearm. Mommy because she's good with the mid-night feedings.

And 1 month later I'm:

Terrified we'll run out of formula or diapers.

Walking 2-3 miles a day (with the blessing and encouragement of Dr. Man).

Amazed at how awake a person can be at 2am.

Making peace with the snot sucker of death.

Loving my new "stay at home mom" status.

Still 100% whooped over this little one.

How could I not be when he's this cute?

Hot air

When we saw these hot air balloons right outside our hotel window, we got a little jealous.

Because this is what Lake Powell looks like from a hot air balloon. Did you know that it's like 160-something miles long? I had no idea.

Then Josh pointed out how unsafe they were because "the air is already hot...how do they even work in Arizona anyway?" And I'd like to say he has a good point, it's like 9 million degrees here. Or 85...same thing.

Grand Canyon

Dear Thomas,

Don't say we never took you anywhere. OK?

One thing I love about hotels

One thing I love about hotels is that we leave to go to church at 10:45 and I come back at 12:30 to a clean room with fresh towels, a made bed, and this view.

Also giant waffle makers....do you think mounting one of those to the 2 ft of available counter space I have would be a wise investment?

15%

It's only 9:30 and I've already seen 15% of the 7 wonders of the world today.

What have YOU done with YOUR morning?

Josh and I tried to name all 7 wonders of the world.....we got to 3.5 - how many do you know?

On traveling with baby

Turns out that Thomas's insistence that the hours between 10am and 6pm are "the middle of the night" is really great for road trips.

Not so great for the night before driving the 2nd half of our journey.....but hey, let's look on the bright side. You know...because I am a natural optimist....ppfffshhthtt .

When you have a baby on a road trip and you're paranoid about people contaminating him with their germs just by looking at him, you learn to appreciate the finer things in life....like drive thrus. And pay at the pump. How did my mother raise 5 children without pay at the pump? How does anyone in Circleville function at all without pay at the pump?

So far Thomas has shared his adorable bare naked butt with about 5 small towns between Payson and Page. And as far as I can tell everybody who lived in these towns was at the gas station while we were there. What is it with small towns and gas stations? I specifically remember hanging out at Walker's all the time back when Lindon was a small town - you know, BW (Before Walmart). But I have no idea why. What did we do there?

When you walk into a hotel carrying a baby in a carseat, everybody looks at you like you've just killed their grandmother right in front of them. I feel like I should wear a sign that says: "Yep, he probably will cry all night long. Sorry about that. Enjoy your vacation." Hey. At least he doesn't pee in their beds...it could be worse.

Being on vacation makes me a much less responsible mother. I'm not telling how many times he spit up all over himself and I just wiped it up with a burp cloth and let him sleep in his own filthy clothes. It's just that I was too tired (and lazy) to dig through the suitcase for a change of clothes. His clothes are so tiny and the suitcase is so big.....and my life is so hard .

In all Josh and I are pleasantly surprised with the success of our roadtrip so far. Here's hoping today goes as smoothly as yesterday.

Packing for baby

Really I have no idea what we should have packed for the child.

I have no idea how much a week's worth of diapers is (or even what size diaper he'll be in by the end of the week). Or a week's worth of formula.

There's no telling how many blankets and onesies he'll soil in such a long time.

All I know is that we brought his nighttime essentials - baby soap and lotion, nightgown (do you think he'll be traumatized when he realizes he spent the first 6 months of his life in nightgowns?), and blankets - and filled a small suitcase with enough diapers to float all of us accross the Great Salt Lake. Do diapers float? If not, why do I think they do? And I'm sorta hoping that everything else is gravy.

I'll let you know at the end of the week how we did.

Surprises

It's been a week full of surprises around our house. Well...as surprising as life gets when you spend 12 hours a day trying to keep the baby awake, 12 hours trying to get the baby to sleep and 13 hours of the day feeding the baby and changing his diaper/clothes/sheets.

It all started Monday night when I started having contractions. Who knew you can have contractions stronger than those during labor 3.5 weeks after the baby is born? Which freaked Josh right out...

Tuesday I told my boss that I'm inheriting my sister's business which allows me to work part time from home and still be Thomas's mom. I cried when I wrote the e-mail and I asked Josh 20 times to remind me that we knew this was the right thing for us. I will desperately miss my job. I also cried when I thought of how many prayers this answers. I'm overwhelmed by how life works out.

Wednesday the contractions continued and Josh told me he was either dragging me to the ER or I was going to take something for the pain and swear I'd call the Dr. in the morning.

Thursday Josh's boss called and asked if he wanted to go to Arizona for a week.

Thursday I called Dr. Man's office and asked if contractions were normal at this point. They told me to come in and he's make sure there wasn't any "foreign matter" still in my uterus that didn't belong. I may or may not have told Josh there could be a twin in there that is still trying to get out. He may or may not have rolled his eyes while we thought of all the "foreign matter" that could be in there.

Thursday we visited Gramma Reilley and packed for Thomas's first road trip.

This morning we packed for Thomas's first road trip (you know...because he peed on everything he owned in the middle of the night and it had to be laundered before the final packing).

Now we're in The Middle of Nowhere, Utah enjoying the scenery and the road trip food. Josh loves trail mix. I love wheat thins. We both love slurpees. Thomas loves formula.

Is it irresponsible to take an infant on a road trip just because you want to? Probably.

We sorta figure that since we'll be celebrating Thomas's 1 month birthday this week we ought to be somewhere cool. Cool = not my living room. Really this is a lame excuse to go on a road trip, but it sounds much less selfish than "I'm bored of Utah." so I'm using it anyway.
We also figure that Thomas should get used to life in the Redbox car if he's gonna be in this family.
I figure that life in a (free) hotel with my husband is much better than life in our house without him. And I'm right. I can't do all of the night shifts AND the morning shifts, AND the day shifts.
I also figure that there's no point in being a stay-at-home mom if you can't say "sure, let's go to Arizona tomorrow" anytime you want. Mothering is all about spontaneous vacations, right?

Baby Belly: 4 weeks later

Much better, don't you think?

I win! (the first night's sleep)

Last night was good.

Like really good.

In the history books when they talk about the ideal newborn sleeping arrangement, you will see our night last night.

My baby slept.

By himself.

In his crib.

For 3(ish) hours at a time!

He woke to eat, and went back to sleep when he was finished.

He didn't whine when I put him back in bed.

He didn't cry when I walked out of the room.

He just went to sleep.

And I will love him forever for it.

See usually he looks like this all night long.

Except when he looks like this

(turns out I don't have any other screaming pictures.....it's because of our deal.)

But last night he looked like this

Now I'm not saying the first pictures aren't cute (they are) but doesn't this look so much better?

Yes. Yes it does.

I used to drive a station wagon

I learned how to drive in an '85 station wagon which we affectionately called "Big Brown". Because it was big. And brown. The wood paneling on the outside was.....stunning? no. beautiful? no. Trendy? no. (certainly not in 2001 and probably not even in 1985.) Unique? yes.

The seat belts were so old they didn't adjust...they were stiff and crusty and it took my dad's strength to move them.

The "hump" in the middle was mostly useless, but I do remember a time in my life that "sitting on the hump" was cool. Was that even legal? Probably not, but my parents were the essence of rebellious.

The "way back" was only cool to ride in until I was about 12. By the time I was driving Big Brown the way back was just cool to talk about. "Yeah? Well the back of my car folds down to a bed...what does yours do?"

Big Brown was no competition for Kolbein's convertible Rabbit like this (ever seen a couch fit in a Rabbit? I have.), or Ashley's Miata. But it did have 4 wheels, and it never got lost in the mall parking lot.

Plus it served as great training for driving a Costco cart with a carseat on top.

Yesterday Thomas & I went to Costco - all by ourselves! Thank you thank you.  - which I've never done in the middle of a weekday before.

Did you know that going to Costco doesn't always require waiting in line for 20 minutes? Sometimes there is a checkstand with an open conveyer belt, just waiting for you to haul all 50 pounds of your laundry detergent on it.

Sometimes there's a parking spot close to the building.

Sometimes you can stop in the middle of an aisle to get something off a shelf without getting run over!

Sometimes the free sample ladies are waiting for people to take their stuff instead of people crowding around waiting for them to make their stuff.

It's just that none of these time are on Saturday.  The things my mother never taught me..... tsk. tsk. 

We did pretty good considering the situation. "Pretty good" meaning I didn't run over any little kids, and only ran into 1 old lady and "the situation" meaning I couldn't see anything over the carseat which (when mounted on top of the tank sized "cart") was taller than I am.

I'm afraid that the new and improved Costco (with parking spaces, room in the aisles and plenty of free samples) might be my new hangout....now if only I can get out for under $100.

I take it back

Today I napped.

I may never go back.

Much better

The Babe loves his medicine - I kindof want to taste it to see why he sucks it down so fast....is that bad? - and is pooping regularly and puking much less violently AND less frequently.

Who knew a mom could love a poopy diaper so much?

Signs I'm doing OK

During the week I would've told you I knew nothing about being a mom.

I would've told you that I had no clue how to communicate with this little one. (Does he have a "hungry" cry that is different from a "mad" cry or a "pay attention to me" cry?)

I would've told you that I had learned nothing from our 3 weeks together.

I would've been wrong.

And here's how I know.

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On Saturday morning Josh was feeding Thomas and needed another hand. Could I please grab the burp cloth? And oh yeah he forgot to get the binkie too. And since he was holding the baby and couldn't really walk across the room would I mind changing the music?

I helped because I knew how. And I felt good because I do all of those things all by myself all day long.

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On Friday I jumped in the shower when Thomas was asleep and as soon as I started to shampoo I realized how stupid that was. I knew very well he wouldn't sleep through my shower. This was NOT his good napping time and I knew it. He was going to wake up crying long before I was clean.

My heart sortof sunk.

And then I realized that he has a "good nap time"! And I knew when it was! My kid has a schedule (sortof) and I know what it is.

And my heart soared as I realized I've learned things, and that I'm not a horrible mother who "just can't get the hang of things".

Then Thomas started to cry. And I rocked and conditionered my hair while congratulating myself on my mothering skills.

And I didn't even feel bad about shaving my legs while he cried.
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Blue bulb of death

Last week I braved the fingernail clippers (No blood, shorter nails. That's successful if you ask me.) and this morning I used the blue bulb of death.

I didn't even puke.

It's all about the little victories.

Josh took back the bed

Josh learned to sleep on the edge of the bed during the past 9 months....because he had to - there wasn't room for him AND me in our bed.

Now he's completely forgotten how to sleep on the edge.

And he's slowly forgetting how to sleep on his side.

Each time I come back to bed throughout the night he's closer and closer to my side until I return from feeding Thomas at 5am with toes like popsicles and the shivers that make him think I bought a vibrating bed and he has completely abandoned his side of the bed in favor of my side. 

Part of me thinks "oh how sweet - he's warming up my side for me" and part of me thinks of all the funny ways to make him move while he's still asleep and only the teeny tinsiest part of me thinks about just getting in on his side. Clearly logic and reason are not my biggest sides.

I suppose it's only fair....he donated his side to "the cause" for 9 months....I should be able to trade sides....you know, for "the cause". Or maybe as a Thank You for letting me use his legs to warm my popsicle toes and his neck to warm my fingers.