Friday, September 30, 2011


Dr. Man "checked" me this morning. You remember how I feel about being checked, don't you? Guess what, it's not better this time around.

Also, since this isn't my first time Dr. Man doesn't feel the need to explain everything or reassure me that I'm not the only pansy to cross his exam table. Instead he feels the need to make small talk.

"Big plans this weekend?" He asked as he invaded my personal space in a way that should've earned him a kick in the face.

I gasped and tried to think of anything to say.

Which is when I realized that I haven't had weekend plans in roughly 2 years.

"Big plans this weekend?" used to be the ultimate small-talk question in my life because I conversed with adults on a regular basis. It came right after a comment about the weather and right before "have a good day, it was good to see you."

But now that I only associate with a 2 year old who knows nothing about small talk, I haven't been asked about my weekend plans in a long enough time that I forgot how to answer.

I can answer questions about toes and shoes and poop and stories, but weekends? An idea totally lost on me.

*gasp* "uuhhh.......let's see....*gasp*.....this weekend........just......conference?" I eeked out with what might have been my last breath. Which wouldn't really have been a shame considering I apparently have no plans for the weekend anyway.

"I hate to tell you this" Dr. Man began "but you're not really dilated at all, and he's still sitting pretty high."

I could have told him that. I mean, I could've told him that if I had regained my ability to breath.

"You might go closer to that due date than you want to." He went on.

The truth is that's fine by me, because remember about Tommy and trick-or-treating and Halloween and Josh being done with school? Right now when I look at the calendar, I think that later is definitely better. But I reserve the right to beg for mercy as I continue to get more and more uncomfortable.

Dr. Man is willing to induce me at 39 weeks if I want, but for now I'm aiming to make it to 40 weeks and 2 days at least.

The good news is that Little John's head is down as it should be, I don't have to go back to the Dr. for another 2 weeks (since nothing is going on anyway), and I'm allowed to take twice as much heartburn medication as I thought.

My question is this: If I asked you if you had big plans for the weekend, would you automatically have an answer because it's a conversation you have on a regular basis? If so, can we be friends? Apparently I need more of that in my life.


  1. Oddly, I found that the whole "check" was much easier the second time around. But still no walk in the park. Good luck!!! I am getting so excited to meet little John! (on the blog, anyway. maybe someday we'll meet each others' babies in person!)

  2. This is so true, but I hadn't realized it until you vocalized it. People DO always ask about weekend plans or "did you do anything fun over the weekend?" And I always stutter awkwardly and think, PLANS? Like, premeditated ideas about doing something more than my ambitions to clean the house and a hope for a nice long nap from my toddler?
    Yeah...weekend plans are a rare treat.

  3. Hahaha! I hate getting checked, too. In fact, I usually opt not to that late in the pregnancy—who cares if I'm dilated or not? I don't.

    That said, plans? Hahahahahaha...yeah. No.

    Like the Danosaur said, plans are a rare treat.

  4. That might even be more awkward than the dentist asking you questions when his hand is in your MOUTH!

  5. I haven't ever thought about this weekend thing since I became a mom. Oh yeah, that used to be important.
    Right now if you asked me about plans for the weekend it would be, Oh this kid has soccer, and this kid has movie night and this kid has... but me... um do you want to talk about potty training, or how the baby is eating?

    And oh, I hate being checked too! I make special arrangements for those appointments, or sometimes, I skip them altogether. It is easy to excuse myself from THOSE doctor appointments!


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