Monday, February 14, 2011

Another Explanation (or two)

Were you sitting in the back of the chapel at our church yesterday? Did you notice that Josh and Tommy were sitting in the pew behind me while I unknowingly sat alone right in front of them? Well it wasn't because we were in a fight. OK? Here's why.

Josh had to work and came late Sacrament Meeting, he looked for me but couldn't see me, because I was cleverly disguised as lonely old lady with adorable new shoes.

He came in and sat down right behind me. Apparently he'd been sitting there for 10 minutes before he realized that was my head he couldn't see around and came to join me. Aren't you relieved? Me too.


Were you in the distribution center in Bountiful on Saturday (or anywhere within a mile radius)? Did you smell a man and look around only to see an overweight 20-something year old woman with a baby on her hip? Did you wonder why that baby boy/lady smelled like a 17 year old boy after gym class? (I don't know about the 17 year old boys you knew, but the ones I knew drowned themselves in cologne after gym...because you know - showering takes too long.) It's not because we sit by a cute girl in 3rd period Math class and wanted to impress her with our cologne. Here's why.

Today is Valentine's Day. I was trying to find an acceptable present for Josh. I thought some new cologne would be great - so I went on a search. 15 minutes and 24 test bottles of cologne later I realized that they had nothing that smelled good enough. And THEN I went out to finish the rest of my errands. Smelling like a man. A sick-nasty cologne-soaked man. *sigh*


It was downright balmy outside today - minus the wind. Wind is not balmy. That's why I opened the windows. And the blinds. Pulled them all the way up. Because when it's that beautiful outside, you HAVE to or the police will come after you. I know it.

But now it's dark outside, and the blinds on our bedroom are permanently stuck up.

Josh has spent the last 30 minutes wrestling with them.

Now they are permanently stuck down.

I think the universe is mocking me for buying new shoes by throwing a legitimate expense in my face. Stupid universe.


  1. I LOVE that your hubby sat behind you for 10 minutes before he realized it was you! HI-LARIOUS!!!

    I love the way you write, so whitty!

  2. man, i wish i was in church on sunday just so i could wonder about that! and also so that i could have seen your new cute shoes.
    and of course also for other good reasons. :)

  3. Love it! The church thing sure made my day! I wanted to go run a note up to one of you or tap one of you on the shoulder...but I thought that would draw a lot of attention....and then I wondered if there was some logical reason for it that I would be interferring with! Anyway, thanks for the smiles!

  4. Funny-- church thing, cologne thing, and well wait until you find out what your kids can do to your blinds.

  5. Funny Funny! Except for the universe. It tends to do that! Our DVD player just broke so we bought a blu ray player and I just know something is going to happen that will cost much more than the blu ray and I will feel stupid!

  6. I love you. You make me laugh. Also, I love that Josh sat behind you for 10 minutes before noticing it was you. You definitely still have some spark left in your marriage, huh? It's like you don't even know each other and have everything left to learn :)


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