I know I'm not the only one....

I know I'm not the only one.......but this schedule just seems so incredibly unreasonable that I catch myself feeling like we are the only ones.

I remember thinking the same thing when Tommy was brand new and nobody in this house was sleeping. I'd get up in the middle of the night with him knowing that I was the only human being on the whole planet awake at that time.
And then I'd hear a car drive past. Who drives anywhere at 3am?
Or see someone else update their facebook status.
And then I'd see people around the neighborhood who have older children and I'd know that they did the same thing when their kids were newborns and I just couldn't understand how something so seemingly impossible was so common.

Only now we get up at 5:30 to start our days and I see other people pulling out of their garages already. And more than 1 light is on in the neighborhood. I KNOW there are other people who wake up earlier than us, but it just seems so impossibly unreasonable that it CAN'T be common.

Josh comes home, eats dinner with us and studies for the rest of the night and I think it's insane to imagine all of these people who come home and do more work/school/life once they're finished with whatever work/school/life they just came home from.

But then I have this image in my head of my older brother sitting at a desk in the basement of his little old house in Logan. It was dark, and the home was old so it had really low ceilings. He had a lamp on and his glasses (he normally wears contacts) and he had probably been sitting there pouring over his textbooks for more hours than I had even been alive. I bet his eyes were bleeding from having read so much.
I know we're not the only ones who have this stupid "study your brains out every day" schedule. And I know other people have lived through it. And I know a LOT of people who have degrees and clearly they're still alive.

I just start thinking that we have zero free time and I'll never see Josh again and "gee isn't it nice of that strange man to pay the mortgage for 2 humans he will barely know in a year?" when he stops what he's doing to read scriptures and have Family Home Evening with us.

So I know we're not the only ones doing work, school, church and family. But some things just seem so stupid that you convince yourself you're the only one dumb enough to sign up for it all.

I guess it's nice to know we're not alone and that people do survive the madness.

Did you know?

Did you know that I'm still using the first bottle of fabric softener I ever bought? I'm trying to use it more lately because it takes up entirely too much space on my laundry shelf and if I can just get it gone......

Did you know that Josh now has a big fatty "study desk" in our bedroom? That's so I don't kill him when he sits in the middle of the living room demanding silence while he studies.

Did you know that I'm developing a teeny tiny crush on George Washington? Watch out Dimitri (my current "not in real life" crush) and thank you Mary Higgins Clark.

Did you know that lemons have more sugar than strawberries?

Did you know that if you walk into Ikea you cannot walk back out the door less than 30 minutes later? It's simply not possible. I double-dog-dare you to try.

Did you know that with Tommy's birthday less than a month away I have no idea what kind of party to have? Other than "big" I mean. I know I'm supposed to do that much.

Did you know that Jessica is making me run with her BEFORE 6am these days? Kill me now. But then bring me back to life so I can be proud of me. OK?

Did you know that sometimes the people who you think are totally fine are really really struggling? And sometimes the people you think are really really struggling are better-off than you think.

Did you know that I smacked a kid in the head with a church door today? I was totally horrified. Josh told me he heard it echo through the cultural hall. Brave Kid didn't even cry, he just looked at me trying to figure out why I would do that with one hand on his forehead. After he was gone I cried. He probably didn't. Remember? Because he's brave.

like father like son: the watermelon version

Sometimes watermelon is breakfast around here.

That's because the Daddy around here thinks that "well balanced" means an enormous slice in each hand.

I wonder where Tommy learned to hold his mouth like that?

I know where Tommy learned to hold his mouth like THAT.

Mostly I love Josh's smile here, also how huge his hand looks.
What a great photographer he has!

Preparation

I knew that with the new semester starting I'd better figure out how to entertain myself without Josh's assistance. So I went to the library website and got to work.

Josh came home from the library yesterday with my holds.

Here's my reading list for the next 3 weeks (as if I can read that many books in that many days....I wish!).

And here's not even half of Josh's reading list.

Jealous much?

The one where Josh goes to school.

I guess it's real now.

Josh has talked about going to nursing school since our first date 5 years ago while he was doing prerequisites for the program at SLCC. He was accepted into the program for a date so far in the future I was certain he'd lose interest by the time it rolled around.

Since then he got his certificate from the Institute of Healing Arts which represents a lot of hours in class on weekends and a lot of clinical hours "processing".

Then he got his Massage Therapy thing from UCMT. More class time. More clinical hours.

Today is the "date so far in the future I was certain Josh would lose interest by the time it rolled around" and apparently Josh's attention span is much much longer than mine. He left at 7 this morning for his first day of "real nursing" classes. He's nervous. I'm terrified. And tired. And scared. And worn out. And broke. And excited. And lonely.

He'll have clinical hours to do, plus 1.5 full days each week in school, and since we still have a mortgage he'll still work full time for Redbox around all that. And I'm certainly hoping he does homework sometime too. Because if he flunks out of school that would really bite.

Meanwhile I'll go on walks, trips to the zoo, spend time with friends, play at the playground, swim, hike, and go sledding with our baby. Is it just me or does that seem incredibly unbalanced and unfair? To add to the unfairness I'll change every diaper, prepare every meal, clean every bathroom and probably put little Smurf down for bed every night.

I like to think "it's just a semester, I can make it through a semester." but then I remember that there's another semester after that one. And then 2 more. And then we get to figure out where to do the Bachelor's. And then there will be more semesters. And really I'm not sure how long this whole thing will last or what else will change during that time (more babies? a different place to live? change in jobs?). And that's when the terror sets in.

Because I have no idea what's coming.

My baby is sleeping

7:41am and my baby is sleeping.

He was also sleeping when I got home from a Relief Society meeting at 8:30 last night.

He was also sleeping when I woke up to pee at 3 this morning.

Just sayin', it's a quiet place around here.

A baby no more

He was a baby until about a week ago. Remember?

Now he crawls and suddenly there is no such thing as "baby" in my house.

I didn't notice it because Josh took a week off work and was home then we all went camping.

This morning I noticed.

The overgrown man-child who lives here is certainly not a baby anymore.

He is simply an overgrown man-child.

I used to think that when people talked about their kids getting "into" everything it meant they liked to touch things and play with things.

Now I know that the phrase "into everything" actually means that the child is INSIDE things. Everything.

He literally crawls inside the cupboards, inside the exersaucer, inside my bag, inside the blankets, inside the stack of newspapers in the corner, and if he could he would crawl INTO me. He seems to be unreasonably confident that if he digs long enough he'll be able to enter my skull through my eyes, ears, nose and mouth.

Those items which are too small for him to get into, get put directly into him. You know, small things, like links, yesterday's lunch leftovers which have somehow managed to not clean themselves up, pens, scraps of paper, chargers to every electronic device known to man, telephones, fingers, shoes, toes, small animals, books, flashlights and any other spare item left on my living room floor. You wish you lived here. I know you do.


Combine this "into" factor with his very sudden ability to go anywhere he wants and our home has turned from a "peaceful place of calm, a refuge from the storm" to a war zone.

I've scooped him up with one arm no less than 30 times this morning. I've "rescued him" from the stairs 20 of those times. Plus we spent 15 minutes climbing up them. He's fallen/sat down more times than I can count after having pulled himself up on boxes, couches, chairs, mirrors, newspapers, legs, and toys. Then he feels the need to let go, or haul booty to the next piece of furniture.

Just like that, "my baby" has turned into "my child". It's amazing how much I can miss "my baby" and love "my child" at the same time.

Even if he does have a bit of attitude.

Alexander Lake: In Photos

Only daddy can put down my bubba to sleep. And there's really no point in anyone else (mom) trying.

These are the "guys" made out of googley eyes glued to nature.

I think my daddy is handsomest while camping. Agreed?

I also find my baby wildly attractive in the dirt. But who wouldn't? 

Some members of my family think that "mountain yoga" is good for the soul. People like me can't even do this on level ground. 

Forget about our Fotogenix shoot, I want this family picture on my wall. 

The best part of this camping trip is the adorable small children who totally and completely surrounded us.

On Thursday it rained. And some people sat out in the storm.

And other people sat in the "fun tent" to stay "dry". That's 9 adults, 8 kids, 1 tent, 3 hours of rain. Miraculously nobody died.

And then we were ready to get warm by the fire.

Getting us ready for a nice "invigorating" (aka FREEZING) swim the next day. 

In long. It was a good freakin' time.

Did you know?

Did you know that we've had Josh's new car for 3 weeks now and we still don't know how to work the radio presets? Sad. But true.

Did you know that 3 days camping = 4 days recovering?

Did you know that Tommy crawls everywhere and feels the need to "walk" at least 10 miles per day? All 10 miles happening just up and down the hall while he holds my two fingers. It might be the cutest thing ever.

Did you know that our tomato plants survived our vacation? Lucky plants.

Did you know that having a missionary means a totally different thing now than it did 5 years ago? The e-mails to Josh's two younger brothers are NOTHING like my e-mails to "my" missionary when I was 19.

Did you know that Bubba is Tommy's new nickname? Josh is still clinging to "Smurf" but I've solidly moved on to Bubba.

Did you know that every episode of Seinfeld has a Superman in it somewhere? That might be a lie, I haven't personally verified it. Have you?

Did you know that Josh starts the full-time hard-core nursing program at SLCC this week? I predict that 1 of us will have an emotional breakdown before the end of the semester.

You wondered where I've been?

It was our annual family camping trip to Alexander Lake.

The numbers tell the story:
3 months planning
3 days discussing menu options
12 conversations (each 10 e-mails long) about what camping food is best
26 hours packing (ok that might be a lie - but it FEELS true)
1 hour making pizza dough. Then punching it down in the car and in the mountains every 25 minutes for 7 hours.
45 minutes driving from here to Salt Lake and back because of crap we forgot and "cannot live without".
1.5 hours driving to our actual destination
24 diapers packed 19 diapers used
15 minutes hiking in the easy stuff
30 minutes whirley-ing the hard stuff over the hill
5 canoe trips across the lake
2 times wrestling Tommy into a life jacket against his will
6 tents
20-something chairs
8 kids (10 and under)
8 adults (with 2 who hadn't arrived yet)
1 walk around the lake
1.5 rolls of toilet paper
17 oversized roasted marshmallows
20+ gallons of water
1 half-mile swim
3 hours hiding in tents from the rain storm
6 rounds of Name That Jelly Belly Flavor
10 baby ducks watched every time anybody left shore
3 massive pirate wars with lilies and lily pads as ammo
5 "guys" made out of googley eyes glued to nature
2 sleepless nights
1 fantastic family camping trip

You wanna know what I came home to? 
3 loads of smokey laundry
4 loads of non-smokey laundry
209 blog posts to read
1 pair of clean underwear (good planning or divine intervention? you decide.)
45 personal e-mails and 14 work e-mails
1 bottle of leaky lighter fluid in the gear box (what are you supposed to do with that?)
2 handsome tired boys

I call it a success.

Some important things

These are some unrelated things that happened today that don't quite earn their own post.

• Josh and I split the first (and only) tomato off our plant this year. Not bottom rot. It was beautiful.
• Tommy slept for 2.5 hours in one nap.
• We're packing all day long for a camping trip. Wish us luck.
• Josh isn't working again today. I love pretend vacations.
• We're going shopping. All of us. For the first time since I don't even know when. Shopping with 2 boys is a whole different game than shopping with me.
• We dropped Tommy's crib. That's because 4 days ago Josh went in to get him and he was just standing there staring at his room. So I said "Absolutely. No matter what. Regardless of what else happens. Even if there is a natural disaster. Nothing NOTHING will stop us from dropping the level of that crib TODAY." And now it's 4 days later so I thought we'd better do it.
• I woke up feeling surprisingly good considering the bike ride we went on yesterday. I have a feeling my butt would hurt more if I sat on a bike seat, but for now it's OK.
• Tommy helped us pack for camping. By sitting in the bucket, and crawling around pulling things out of bags. He's fantastic like that. 

It would be rude.

I used to work really far away from my home. Really far. Like across city lines, county lines, and 8 mile lines.

But due to my impeccable hearing there were mornings that I could still hear my bed calling to me.

Even though I was 2 floors underground and my bed was 1 floor above ground. I could hear it.

"Aaaammmmyyyyyy" it would say in a remarkably ghoulish voice. "Coooommmmmmeeeee hoooooommmme! I'm WAAAA-AAAAARRMMMMMMMMM"

But when you're that far away, you can pretend you can't hear. Like when you're showering and you can tell your husband wants something, but you don't want to know what it is so you pretend you can't hear because the shower is on. You can usually earn at least 2 more peaceful minutes using this method.

But with the bed it's different. It just keeps calling. All day long. Even if you ignore it.

When you work at home, and the bed is only through one wall and no floors and the door is open between the two of you, you can't ignore it. That would be rude.

Like when your husband wants to know what's for dinner and he's in the kitchen and you're in the living room 2 somersaults away sitting on the couch staring at the tv which is muted because if you hear those synchronized swimmers sing about their birth control one more time you're gonna throw the tv out the window and that would be a terrible terrible thing. That's when it's rude to ignore your husband.

So today I'm blaming manners for my laziness. A stretch? I think not.

One thing I love about Josh not working today...

One thing I love about Josh not working today is the sound of him doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen while I blog and work.

If I get my way that will be the background noise in heaven.

Did you know?

Did you know that you can drive through all 4 leaves of this "clover" on this freeway exit over and over and over again because of the way they all link up to each other? Good times.

Did you know that my baby can stay awake past 7:30? It ain't pretty, but it's possible.

Did you know that there are only 2 more weekends before Labor Day? Tragic.

Did you know that 1 calorie is the amount of energy that it takes to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius? It's strange for me to think of it that way, because I'm pretty sure putting a bowl of water on top of my Frosted Mini Wheats wouldn't make it boil....just sayin'.

Did you know that at the end of the summer I don't have to go back to school OR work? Cool. Now someday Josh won't have to either and that will be REALLY cool.

Did you know that it's now dark at 6am? Dark enough that a VERY kind woman in my neighborhood was concerned for my safety because I was out for a run in the dark. That was before she knew that I never go alone. Do you think I could pass Jessica off as a body guard?

Did you know that Josh and I are reading Catching Fire together? Only when we're in the car together, so it's been slow going, but this weekend a trip to Logan and back helped us make some serious progress.

Alphabet Pal learns to cuss

Tommy has a toy called "Alphabet Pal".

Picture a centipede or something equally creepy with each leg representing a letter of the alphabet. That is Alphabet Pal.

AP has lots of tricks. She can say the letters corresponding with the feet you push. Or she can make the sounds of the letters as you push her feet. Or she can sing obnoxious songs. Or make obnoxious noises. Or just sing the alphabet song 29 times in a row without taking a breath. She's talented.

The best part of this toy is that you can make her say words by pushing the letters. "muh-awww-muh" or "mom". "duh-ahhhh-duh" or dad".

It didn't take Josh long to figure out that she giggles instead of cussing. "duh-aaaahhhhh-tee hee hee! that tickles!" she says.

You know. So she doesn't inadvertently teach your kid how to cuss.

You'd be amazed how many cuss words my kid can spell. And he's not even one yet! All I know is I hear an awful lot of giggling coming out of that creature. Tommy doesn't know how to tell jokes yet so I know it's because of the cussing.

Now if THAT doesn't make him a genius. I don't know what does.

A prune

Yesterday I woke up, showered and got ready for the day.

Then I went on a walk.

After Tommy's nap we swam. For a long time.

After Tommy's next nap we rode bikes.

I came home, showered and went to a meeting.

When I returned I poured myself a bowl of goldfish like it was cereal and ran myself a hot bath with "pear glaze" bubbles.

I dropped down into the tub and read Hoot while I soaked and ate goldfish.

This morning I'm still feeling pruney.

Fourteen

The number of crawling laps Thomas has done between the bedroom, kitchen, living room so far this morning. It's not as impressive if you know how close together all those rooms are.

But what is impressive is that when Josh and I both disappeared to our bathroom Tommy found his way from the kitchen through bedroom to our bathroom and just crawled in like he owned the place.

Does that qualify him for genius status?

Tommy 10 months

Tommy is 10 months old.

He eats. A lot. All the time. And he likes it.

He is eating scrambled eggs. One of the few thing Dr. Lady told us he still shouldn't eat. *sigh*
Sometimes I just don't think it's that big of a deal. So sue me.

He decided today that now that he's 10 months old he turned on the 4 wheel drive in his crawl and goes over EVERYTHING. Shoes, socks, toys, legs (mine AND his own), faces (mostly mine), books, and any other foreign object I refuse to admit is in the middle of my living room floor.

Or maybe he's checking MY mouth for teeth. Apparently that's common behavior in this family. "Got any toofs?"

Or perhaps he'd just like me to Shut. Up.

He climbs. Mostly up me, but also up toys, and furniture. OK normal moms call would say he "pulls himself up on stuff" but it feels a lot more like climbing when you are the "stuff".

He's turning into a mama's boy. And that's OK with me because he still also loves his daddy. But he freaks if we leave and he has no friends around. I suppose it'll make me bonkers later on, but for now it makes me feel like he finally knows (and cares) who I am.

We love to check out "that guy" in the mirror together. We both kinda like him.

Tommy still loves the water, and thinks that bath time is the best part of the day. Well, right after eating time. Also I think it's nice of him to get the floor all wet so I can clean it.

His eyes are turning brown from the inside out. But you can only see it when his pupils shrink really little because he's staring out the open window. I might be the only person who knows this about him. Well..until I just put it here. Now there are 3 of us who know about this.

He's moving. He crawls on his hands and knees on purpose without crying sometimes. He's not too fast yet, but he can now get from sitting to crawling skipping right over the "fall flat on your back and cry until you realize you can roll over and get on your knees" step. He also monkey walks and likes it when I hold his hands and walk him down the hall.

He hangs out with the prettiest girls. What can we say? He has good taste....this is where I should say something about getting that from his dad...but I'd hate it if you all thought I thought I was cool. I'm not. I know.

Don't tell Stella's parents that it was naked time at the Egbert's house!

He has 2 teeth on bottom and zero anywhere else. I'd like to think all of the recent screaming is due to teething though, and if he doesn't cut something soon, one of us is gonna lose it and my money is not on the one who gets 15 hours of sleep per day.

He is extraordinarily good at yoga and can still lick his own toes.

He also likes to monkey walk like this.

He's studious. He will find something new and turn it over and over and over in his hands. My favorite part of the day is when he climbs up my body, and stares straight into my face just trying to figure out how it works. I can see his brain working and I love it. Also these "thinking real hard" moments are the ones during which he looks most like Josh.

Remember way back when his most thoughtful face looked like this? That was before he discovered the joy of sucking on power cords.

Tommy at 1 month old.

My what a difference 9 months can make eh?

Jon Schmidt

Sometimes Jon Schmidt plays the piano in the mountains.

And sometimes we have friends who tell us how to get free tickets.

And sometimes we invite our family to crash the party we're crashing too.

And sometimes Tommy can miss bedtime one more night.

And sometimes Wolf Mountain is on our way home.

And sometimes Jon plays upside down.

And sometimes Jon plays with his toes

And sometimes Jon is a rockstar with a stupid wig.

Those times are beautiful.

Wanna see more?

We got there early and had too much time to hang around.

Tommy crawled and crawled and crawled ALL over that hill.

Isn't he so handsome?

And he wanted to play cards too, but he's not very good at it yet, so we made him be on his own team.

Josh cuddled Tommy through the entire concert, he fell asleep while we were standing applauding for the encore. And slept through the encore and then we woke him up. 

It was cold and we were glad for the blanket.

Stella thought the show was fantastic.

Garret is 10 (ish?) and is just figure out exactly how lame his aunt can be. 

Stella found her tongue.

That purple windbreaker is housing one adorable 8 year old child.

Tommy slept the whole way home (because he loves me) and we were certainly glad to fall into bed when we got home.