Monday, August 16, 2010

It would be rude.

I used to work really far away from my home. Really far. Like across city lines, county lines, and 8 mile lines.

But due to my impeccable hearing there were mornings that I could still hear my bed calling to me.

Even though I was 2 floors underground and my bed was 1 floor above ground. I could hear it.

"Aaaammmmyyyyyy" it would say in a remarkably ghoulish voice. "Coooommmmmmeeeee hoooooommmme! I'm WAAAA-AAAAARRMMMMMMMMM"

But when you're that far away, you can pretend you can't hear. Like when you're showering and you can tell your husband wants something, but you don't want to know what it is so you pretend you can't hear because the shower is on. You can usually earn at least 2 more peaceful minutes using this method.

But with the bed it's different. It just keeps calling. All day long. Even if you ignore it.

When you work at home, and the bed is only through one wall and no floors and the door is open between the two of you, you can't ignore it. That would be rude.

Like when your husband wants to know what's for dinner and he's in the kitchen and you're in the living room 2 somersaults away sitting on the couch staring at the tv which is muted because if you hear those synchronized swimmers sing about their birth control one more time you're gonna throw the tv out the window and that would be a terrible terrible thing. That's when it's rude to ignore your husband.

So today I'm blaming manners for my laziness. A stretch? I think not.


  1. "2 somersaults away". You crack me up! I'm glad to know that this is an acceptable way to measure distance in-home. I might just need to somersault my way through the house a little more often.

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  3. You are a model of good breeding! This made me laugh.


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