Friday, July 8, 2011

Dress Code

I've only lived/worked/schooled 1 place that really had a dress code. At least one that actually changed the way I dressed and that was when I worked for the LDS Church. They made me wear nylons. Every. Single. Day.

So sometimes I wonder about the dress codes for other places.

Like the 7-11 in West Valley.

While Josh was fixing an issue with the Redbox there, I got to watch people come and go. And I think I learned the dress code.

If you are a woman ("woman" is temporarily defined as any female 12 or older) you should be wearing a strappy tank (like what I think is an undershirt) or tube top which you should be falling out of. Even if you're 12. Also booty shorts.

If you are a man ("man" is temporarily defined as "male") you should wear some kind of tank top. Probably a t-shirt with the arms torn off is best, and basketball shorts (or pants if you're over 70). At least one article of clothing should be black. It doesn't matter if you're playing basketball or not, this. is. the dress code. Also it doesn't matter if you're 2 years old, or 85. This. is. the dress code.

Footwear is optional, but if you choose to cover your feet instead of quick-tip-toeing across the parking lot, you should wear either flip flops or big fat puffy basketball shoes.

At first I started grumbling about how "if I see one more bra strap today, I'm gonna....." and then a woman whose bra straps would have been showing had she been wearing a bra, meandered in front of my car. And suddenly I was grateful to have seen SO many bra straps.

I suppose it mostly makes me grateful for my Mom Dress Code. Which is...
Clothes if you're going out, bathrobe if you're staying in: burn all your nylons.

However, the best dress code I know is Tommy's. (As borrowed from his friend Ollie)
Pants. Are. Optional.


  1. that sounds like a nice dress code compared to the salt lake arts festival last week.... yikes! crazy people.

  2. hilarious! West Valley can be a good time. See a future blog post to find out my best story there.


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