I'm still thinking about making New Year's Resolutions for other people. This might be my new favorite tradition, because I think I'm pretty dang good at it.
Here are my New Year's Resolutions for people I have no control over:
Macey's (the grocery store, not the clothing store): You should resolve to build a store on the empty lot by my house. OK?
Owner of the empty lot by my house: You should resolve to sell that lot for less than the price of a small country so someone, ANYone can by it.
Josh: Put your socks in the hamper so I can stop cussing so much. We're all gonna be embarrassed when Tommy repeats the things he's heard.
Ben & Jerry's: How about a $.99 pint eh?
Tommy: Let's re-learn how to sleep through the night shall we? Waking up between midnight and 3am every night is not cool. John can show you how it's done if you need a lesson....
Hawiian Airlines: Keep that $175 airfare year round for the next 10 years so I can afford to take advantage of this insanely awesome deal sometime.
Running: Wouldn't it be cool if you didn't suck so much? I think you oughtta work on that.
Weather: Listen. At some point you're gonna have to snow. Let's do it now and not in April when everyone will hate you for it.
Little John: Just try to survive. With your brother around it might not be easy....
Who do you wanna make resolutions for?
First: Amen on the Ben & Jerry's. And what is this about Hawaiian Airlines $175 airfare? You're killing me here!
ReplyDeleteJust are just a few of mine...
Carter: Sleep through the night! I'd even be happy with solid 3 hour stretches.
Amy & Josh: Move to Provo. Preferably next door so that our kids can play together, we can play games together, and I can share all of the fattentingly-delicious treats I've been making with you guys. We may also have to run together after eating said desserts, too.
Brownies: Start having nutritional value and minimal calories.
Sherwood (my favorite band): Release an album. Pronto. I'm dying for new music here.