Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years

I went to Costco last month and the entryway was decked out with snacks and sweets and gift baskets and chocolates and decorations and pots and pans and kitchen accessories you simply can't live without.

I went to Costco this morning and thought I had accidentally gone to the gym instead.

The entrance is crammed with treadmills and inversion tables and muscle milk and protein bars and workout clothes and running shoes and diet pills and gym passes.

Just sayin'.

In other New Years news....last night I tried to meditate.

My attempt was laughable.

I set the timer for 15 minutes, then came to the living room to get situated. After at least 20 seconds of adjusting and trying to sit comfortably on the floor, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing.

In......
Out.....
In.....
Out.....

Both boys were asleep and Josh was in the kitchen trying to find real food to eat.

In.....(Why is Josh getting out a pot? He doesn't cook....)
Out......(Oh, that must have been a bowl, I can hear the microwave....)

In......
Out......

In....(Let's see, John has been asleep for 1 hour.....
Out.....(That means he'll wake up to eat again in the next 2 or 3 hours......
In.....(and if I spend 15 minutes sitting here....
Out.....(Wait! I'm not supposed to be thinking.)
In......
Out......
In.....
Out....
In....(my legs are asleep)
Out....... (It must have been at least 10 minutes by now)
In...... (It's horribly quiet, I wonder if Josh is looking at me)
Out....(He is. I know it. He's 2 inches from my face.)

In......
Out......

In......(I can feel him breathing on me!)
Out.......(my nose itches)
In.......(stupid nose.)
Out.......

I stretched my arm clear out in front of me on my way to scratch my nose to be sure that Josh wasn't really there.

In.....

"Forget it. I can't do this. I give." I told Josh.
I opened my eyes and looked at my timer. I still had 14:02 left.

90 seconds. I couldn't even stay quiet and still for 90 seconds. Not even with cheating and thinking about things, spending 20 of those seconds sitting down and scratching my nose.

90 seconds.

Fortunately I know I can do 15 minutes of yoga....otherwise Josh just got $50 richer for each week I don't meet my goal.

4 comments:

  1. If you have to meditate with a yoga video, that counts. Like, you know the last part where you relax and focus on your breathing? I'd count that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Next time you could try meditating in your closet with the door shut and ear plugs in :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh I am so bad at meditating too! So bad. I think it's possible I may have ADHD.

    ReplyDelete

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