Dear Internet

Remember when I got married any everybody wanted to give me a free list of everything I needed to do and when I needed to do it? Me too.

Why don't they have that for the baby? I can see what the child in my womb looks like at every day of the pregnancy. I can read what will happen to me, at every stage and how long it will take. I can go to the Dr. and get a picture taken of my baby which he will give me a copy of to take home. Before my baby is born I'll know how much it weighs, how big it's head is, and whether it's a boy or girl.

So why is it so hard for the Internet to give me a list of things to do in a beautiful dated layout? Why won't anyone say "buy this before this day, schedule this on this day, paint the walls before your enormous belly puts big round marks in your fresh paint because it's bigger than your arms can reach." Where is my to-do list? I can't possibly be the only human on the planet who would like to plan these things, can I? Google has failed me and I'm totally lost.