Monday, December 1, 2008

I’m a bit of a control freak.

It’s true. At least I know it. And I acknowledge it. That’s because I’m a control freak who also happens to be aware of her surroundings and always (sometimes) tells the truth.
How do I know I’m a control freak? Well, it’s not rocket science, but for those of you who are "not rocket science" impaired, I present the following evidence:
Exhibit A: Thanksgiving. We ate at a restaurant. I freaked because I wasn’t the boss of what was available, or how it was presented. I didn’t get to tell anyone which side the forks go on, or what order the food should appear in the buffet line. Even though I’ve never ever been in charge of Thanksgiving, it still bugged me. Partly because the turkey came AFTER the gravy and that’s annoying. Also because they put the dessert food right inside the front doors and that means you have to fight the groups of people coming into the restaurant to get to dessert. Also annoying.

Exhibit B: I hate family Christmas parties. Not because I don’t love my family and want to be with them. Not because I hate Christmas. Not because I hate white elephants. Not because I hate pretending the church gym is a cozy living room. And certainly not because I hate the food. I’m fine with all of that. I hate them because they mean I am not the boss of my own schedule for the next 34 days. I don’t get to come home on a Friday night and choose what we’re doing for the weekend. It’s already planned. And it has pretty much been planned since last year at this time. I want to decide what I feel like doing that weekend and do it. But, for this long wretched one month out of the year, I don’t get to. That’s annoying.

Exhibit C: I put things on other people’s to-do lists. Without permission. I don’t really blame me for this one. Outlook allows me to do it, and that means it’s OK. However, I do accept full responsibility for the fact that I flag pretty much anything I can. E-mails, tasks, and Calendar items. I want to pop up on the computer screens of other people because I think it gives me power. I think it means I’m the boss of what they are doing with their time. “Work on that thing for me please” I’m saying, with a not-so-gentle reminder popping up in the form of a red flag blocking everything else on their computer screen. “I won’t go away until it’s finished.” I say after the first time they try to “close” me. “No really. If you don’t finish, I’ll stay right here for. Ev. er.” Also I hate it when other people flag stuff to me. It’s my to-do list. Who do you think you are? That’s annoying.

Exhibit D: I am a backseat driver. Sorry Josh. I’m working on it.

Exhibit E: This weekend Cami and Braden slept over at our house. On Sunday morning Josh came into the bathroom to get a towel for Braden to use when he showered. He got out an ugly towel. Josh and I own 10 towels for regular use. Plus some decorative towels that are not to be used, they just hang there making me feel like my bathroom matches. We also have ugly towels. These are for camping, hair dying, and “oh-my-gosh I just knocked over my 32 ounce glass of water on the carpet” moments (not to be confused with “oh-my-gosh I just spilled lemonade on the kitchen floor” or “I just mopped the floor but need to walk on it right away” moments).

Apparently when Josh put the towels in the dryer they didn’t get all the way dry, so he just grabbed one of our other ugly towels for Braden to use. That bugs me because I didn’t want Braden to use an ugly towel. He is a 13 year old boy and truly couldn’t care less, but it bugged me. It bugged me that Josh was fine with using one too when I reached in the closet for a clean towel and found that they were all in the laundry basket. I waited to shower until the towels were clean, Josh used an ugly towel. That’s annoying.

The fact that it’s annoying when other people do things their way proves that I’m a control freak. I like the way I do things (duh, that’s why I do them that way…) and I don’t really feel like changing, so I probably won’t. But I just wanted to publicly acknowledge that I am a control freak, and for the most part I’m OK with that.

*Optional Evidence: I can't stand automatic things in restrooms. I hate the toilet flushing thing not flushing when I want it to (too early is worse than too late, but I hate both). And I really hate the water sensor things. Too much water comes out and it splashes everywhere. You don't get to pick your own temperature. And the thing never comes on quickly when you're in a hurry. I bet you can guess how I feel about that. Annoyed.


  1. Do you ever get mad when people can obviously move ahead a little in line and they DON'T!!!? That is the biggest thing that makes me feel like I am not in control. It happenes everywhere! Grocery store lines, rush hour traffic, the cafeteria. I just want to yell "can't you see that you can fit an entire VW Bug in between you and the car in front of you?!?!?" One of these days I am going to rear end someone. Oh yeah, that will put ME back in control. I also hate when people park in front of our house. Park in front of the house you came to visit! Geeze. My front yard is not a parking lot. What do they expect next, valet?

  2. Oh, you've got nothing on me, honey, just ask your brother! ;)


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