Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Putrid Feds

My sister Katy is funny. REALLY funny. And she is the queen of saying things in a funny way: weird words, nicknames, the rhythm of her speech. She's hilarious.
Thing like "The HOA" is pronounced "da ho-uhhh" like its a word instead of "the h. o. a." like the abbreviation that is actually is.
One time she and Randy thought they were rappers and rapped about going to the library. "baby's in the backseat. what? the backseat. what?".
She makes up actions to songs. ("my hands are shakin' from carryin' this torch" from Dan in Real Life...she shakes her hands, (like jazz hands) and carries the torch (like the statue of liberty) and now those are some lyrics I will never forget as long as I live.)
She had a roommate who was the -est of everything. "That's scary like a scary Jen Ford" (Jen Ford being the roommate) or "That's yummy like a yummy Jen Ford".
She taught me about "dainties" and "beefers" and dainties stuck in beefers bodies and vice versa.

Bottom line, she's hilarious. BUT one of my favorite nicknames of all time is "the putrid feds" that means the IRS as far as I can tell. It might include all branches of federal government, but right now the only ones she cares about are the IRS cuz they take all of her money.

When the announced the economic stimulus plan, they had a website calculator that would tell you how much you're getting. When Kate and Rand got less than the "Putrid Feds' calculator" said they should. They became that much more putrid.

On the other hand, Josh and I got NOTHING. Not one penny from the Putrid Feds. And they became the putridest of all the putrid feds. And then they were putrid like a putrid Jen Ford. But, now they're just Feds because we got our economy stimulated!

We e-filed our taxes, we paid with our bank account, BUT for some reason we got on the "these people are old fashioned and they get a paper check through snail mail" list instead of the "these people are cool, young, and hip, and they have no fear of giving us their bank account number, so they paid their taxes electronically" list. So, we had to wait an extra month or so - but it is still exciting.

In short, yay for the stupid plan to stimulate the economy. Good job stupid-putrid feds. Now we're going to pay off our student loans, buy gas, and groceries. That's the economy we're stimulating.

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