What Would I Like?

Tommy's vocabulary is still pretty limited, but for the most part he can tell me what he wants.

Unless he's whining.

Then his vocabulary is exceptionally limited. Limited to "ma ma meh muh ma muh muh......." accompanied with sniffling and air-sucking.

For some reason I think the solution to whining is to put my face right in front of his and ask him "What would you like?"

Lately I do this roughly 10,000 times a day. "What would you like?" I ask, and he "ma ma meh muh ma muh muh's" me and burries his face in my chest so I can rub his back and start guessing.

"Would you like a carrot?"
sniffle sniffle "no...."
"Would you like a sandwich?"
sniffle sniffle "no..."
"Would you like a spankin?" Before I get hate mail, let me just say: I have never spanked my child.
sniffle sniffle "no?" He's never quite sure if he would like that or not...
"Would you like a toy? Would you like a game? Would you like a story? Would you like a bubbles? Would you like a candy? Would you like a show? Would you like it here or there? Would you like it in a box? With a fox?"
"no."
"Would you like to wash your hands?"
"osh?"
"Yes. Would you like to wash your hands?"
"no."

After exhausting all of my mom resources I've starting thinking of things I would like.

I would like a nap. One that ends simply because I'm bored of sleeping.
I would like a personal chef.
I would like to stop opening the refrigerator and expecting something delicious to have grown in there. Nothing growing in my fridge is delicious.
I would like a backyard.
I would like to be 100% certain that Ty Pennington & Mary Murphy never wind up in the same room. The world isn't ready.
I would like for Tommy to not think it's funny to throw dirt off our balcony.
I would like my cleaning to magically happen by itself. Technically it's all gratifying to do it yourself....but untechnically it sucks.
I would like a carrot, a sandwich, no spankins and clean hands. And maybe some shiny raspberry lip balm.